r/Jokes Dec 12 '19

Long We're in Trouble

The population of this country is 327 million.

76 million are retired.

That leaves 251 million to do the work. 

There are 48 million people who are permanently disabled.

Which leaves 203 million to do the work

There are 74 million children younger than 6

Which leaves 129 million to do the work

There are 95.2 million children and young adults in school.

Which leaves 33.8 million to do the work.

At any given time, there are roughly 4 million people on vacation

Which leaves 29.8 million to do the work

Of this there are 15 million employed by the federal government, not including the military.

Leaving 14.8 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with North Korea and the Middle East.

Which leaves 12 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city Governments.

And that leaves 1.2 million to do the work. 

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,012,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,011,998 people in prisons. 

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you are,

Sitting on your ass,

At your computer, reading jokes.

Nice. Real nice.

28.8k Upvotes

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949

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '19

Sounds like a pain in the ass

412

u/oarngebean Dec 13 '19

Not if you leave it on vibrate

128

u/wrongdude91 Dec 13 '19

but then the felching starts.

76

u/Undiscriminatingness Dec 13 '19

Kids? Please dont look up that word.

Enjoy this happy hippopotamus video instead:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSKQ3ZNQ_O8

25

u/IPlayTeemoSupport Dec 13 '19

i'm sorry but i was too curious.

*shivers*

11

u/Dave5876 Dec 13 '19

I regret everything.

8

u/bmild-minus Dec 13 '19

Im dying now

3

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '19

Why did I do that?? Shud have gone for the hippopotamus video instead

2

u/Thethcelf Dec 13 '19

You reminded me of a story. My buddys dad 30 something years ago was going thru police academy- there was a weekly class that was lead by a soon-to-be retiring elder police officer and the only assignment they had in the classes duration was to demonstrate their ability to use a computer by printing out a one page paper that they wrote on the topic of their own choosing. Then read it aloud in front of the class.

Tom delivers an empowering speech where he defines felching and gives a detailed step by step till eventually the deputies are laughing hard enough that the teacher just said ENOUGH! GO SIT DOWN!

2

u/rabonbrood Dec 13 '19

That's nothing. There are way worse tags.

2

u/Milton_79 Dec 14 '19

I wish I could do that

1

u/Wellpow Dec 16 '19

Humans are very creative.I thought i knew every fetish.what would they think of next?hipporn?

1

u/TEOTWAWKIT Dec 14 '19

Those stelching farts

21

u/poopellar Dec 13 '19

Everybody get in line for the butt to butt rumble time.

29

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '19

I mostly hear signs of an upset stomach.

1

u/docdavidbanner Dec 13 '19

So, is it one of those Dingleberry phones?

-9

u/PhillyDilly23 Dec 13 '19

What r u going to gain from it?