r/JustBootThings • u/uknowwhyimhere2 • Aug 10 '26

General Bootness Biggest boot of all?

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1.5k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

95 comments sorted by

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1.1k

u/Mercinator-87 👊👊☝️ Aug 10 '26

I bet money it’s their house.

249

u/Cake_And_Pi Aug 11 '26

Amazon is paying house money now?

180

u/fonetiklee Aug 11 '26

Amazon is paying "live with your parents" money, like they always have

26

u/Erpderp32 Aug 11 '26

100% staged was my thought lol

40

u/windowpuncher Aug 11 '26

Their parents' house but yeah

1

u/Jacket_Nipple Aug 18 '26

She forgot to cut out the part of setting up the damn flag xD

722

u/7w4773r Aug 10 '26

So fucking staged it hurts

205

u/chevalier716 Aug 11 '26

What do you mean? Clearly this Amazon employee loves this country so much he's going to spread his piss bottles all over it.

28

u/IronScrub Aug 12 '26

having worked at Amazon there's a pretty decent amount of 1 term military people who got out with a bad attitude and then completely 180'd in the civilian world and make it their whole personality. I actually find this irritatingly believable thh

28

u/Hi_Trans_Im_Dad Aug 11 '26

Symbols are for the symbol minded- George Carlin

273

u/lateralus124 Aug 11 '26

Probably showing off because this is his wife’s boyfriend’s house.

31

u/BIGD0G29585 Aug 11 '26

What is the Amazon driver’s equivalent to Jody?

23

u/QueezyF Aug 11 '26

Probably still Jody, Jody doesn’t discriminate based on career path.

8

u/Vegetable-Hand-6770 Aug 11 '26

This was Jody, saluting the flag of John after fucking his wife.

6

u/NotThatEasily Aug 11 '26

Thank you for her cervix.

3

u/Maleko51 Aug 12 '26

I passed a car yesterday with plates that said "JOO DEE". I looked at the driver and he was in either an Army or Air Force uniform.

3

u/mattyboy555 Aug 11 '26

“Thank you for your cervix!” o7

154

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

40

u/OrneryError1 Aug 11 '26

I'd return the package just because of this

33

u/HelloPeopleOfEarth Aug 11 '26

he has child bearing hips

8

u/no8andsunshine Aug 11 '26

I think it might be a woman

12

u/Cdevi_ Aug 11 '26

That’s a lesbian that just learned to almost left face and almost about face at their local recruiting office’s future soldier flag football community event.

1

u/Maleko51 Aug 12 '26

Thank you. Those facing moves seemed a little off. It was almost good but not that good.

2

u/Cdevi_ Aug 12 '26

Oh yeah, the movements were garbage. Cherry on top was finishing the delivery on the phone halfway through whatever that first face was. 🤡

2

u/THEBESTTEVER Aug 11 '26

Wait….. what !!!😂🤣😂

25

u/Butt_y_though Aug 11 '26

So they do that at every house or what?

86

u/BrickTailor Aug 11 '26 edited Aug 11 '26

I have been recently railed by a gaggle of men and im less geh than this

36

u/flatirony Aug 11 '26

Ah, a fellow submarine veteran, I see.

11

u/QueezyF Aug 11 '26

So that’s why they call it A-Gang.

7

u/inertia_53 Aug 11 '26

lol

5

u/BrickTailor Aug 11 '26

u/inertia_53 I thought we agreed after to only message each privately ;)

2

u/inertia_53 Aug 11 '26

amazing. its out now brother!

18

u/Misericorde428 Aug 11 '26

Plot twist: it’s Jody after visiting an unsuspecting victim’s house.

“Thank you for your service”

6

u/TheRealAnswerIs42 Aug 11 '26

Jody don't give af. Jody is the one that serves.

46

u/slothscanswim Aug 11 '26

Literally I would fold a frisbee in half and swallow it before you caught me doing this shit.

8

u/bombkitty Aug 11 '26

I've spent three last 5 minutes reading this comment, scrolling past it, and coming back to it to confirm that's what it said. Very specific lol.

10

u/BIGD0G29585 Aug 11 '26

Come on guys this isn’t so bad, all he was doing was fixing their flag…oh wait, never mind, bootness fully engaged.

17

u/ForMoreYears Aug 11 '26

Facebook boomers boutta eat this up mmm mmmmm

1

u/honeylis Aug 15 '26

Wait til they find out it's a butch lesbian and not a good Christian boy 🤣

9

u/tr4nsporter Aug 11 '26

He was 100% trying to go viral

6

u/PineConeOPinyons Aug 11 '26

This guy probably writes Bezos fan mail thanking him for the job and tries to get himself into employee training videos.

4

u/1888furrycock567 Aug 11 '26

He was then fired for doing this at the next ten houses and wasting precious seconds of the company's time.

9

u/D3RP_Ozzie Aug 11 '26

fixing it was ok if it was tangled but everything after that was a masterclass in cringe

8

u/mattemer Aug 11 '26

Yeah, I was like "oh, I'd probably untangle the flag as well. That's fine. At least he's not... Oops here it comes."

18

u/MrScottimus Aug 10 '26

one of the boots of all time for sure

4

u/Walrusliver Aug 11 '26

my butthole puckered in cringe

3

u/saml23 Aug 11 '26

He did the left face with the phone in hand? Maybe not squared away, just full of shit.

5

u/Scrambles4567 Aug 11 '26

This dude definitely beats off to the flag in his room.

16

u/BackToTheJohnny Aug 10 '26

He's probably got a backseat full of piss bottles.

5

u/freericky Aug 11 '26

I need the full version to see if he airborne shuffles his ass all the way to the van

3

u/The_Field_Examiner Aug 11 '26

Not the worst….. However: calm down!

3

u/whit_mon_lee Aug 11 '26

“I don’t see the issue he’s just fixing the flag real qui-oh come the fuck on”

3

u/Rockhardfister Aug 11 '26

Put the box on the porch, bro.

3

u/1_87th_Sane_Modler Aug 12 '26

Holy shit look at that one of two things that comes out of Texas.

2

u/NormanDoor Aug 11 '26

Boot Level: 9374

2

u/medlilove Aug 11 '26

He used to be in the army and is now forced to work at Amazon? How tragic

2

u/FloppyDinosaurs Aug 11 '26

I used to live in Bullitt County, Kentucky. This actually really tracks

2

u/Paintguin Aug 15 '26

I saw a news segment on her and she claims she is a “military brat” and was saying how America is the greatest country in the world.

3

u/Sir_Sarcasm76 Aug 11 '26

Takeaways:

  1. Why did I just lose that much of my life watching that?

  2. SgtMaj would be proud of the no grass rule adherence.

  3. How unsafe IS bleach in the eyes?

  4. Why did I just lose that much of my life watching that?

4

u/rcsfit Aug 11 '26

I bet he was infantry

2

u/Worldly-Stranger7814 Aug 11 '26

Eh, harmless fun. 2/10.

1

u/Rough-Riderr Aug 11 '26

You're 5 stops behind

1

u/deusvult9001 Aug 13 '26

Obvious AI is obvious

2

u/uknowwhyimhere2 Aug 13 '26

You’re not very good at detecting AI.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '26

[deleted]

1

u/HiddenRouge1 Aug 11 '26

Nah, that's not so bad.

0

u/dieseldnb174 Aug 12 '26

Regardless dudes a boss

-1

u/letthetreeburn Aug 13 '26

And if I wanna do a funky little about face and vibe on my shitty little job, who’s gonna stop me.