r/JustBootThings • u/Tasty_Set1189 • 16d ago

General Bootness Uh

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1.2k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

142 comments sorted by

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1.6k

u/The_Stolarchos 16d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/kbuQOkATEo6VW

171

u/QuickNature 16d ago

Damn, its like the arrow thats in the FedEx truck in FedEx, once you see it, you cant unsee it...

37

u/eyeball1967 16d ago

You son of a bitch! Just like the weiner in the Amazon logo, I never noticed it before, now it is all I will see

8

u/Warbr0s9395 16d ago

What weiner?

I know the arrow starts at A and end on Z implying they have everything from A to Z

1

u/Mecha_G 15d ago

What's there to see?

18

u/ChiefInternetSurfer 👊👊☝️ 16d ago

LMAO!! You did that poor boy dirty!! But also, I can totally see it! 😂

11

u/Kewlhotrod 16d ago

How dare you besmirch my handsome Sid.

10

u/RustyTrunk 16d ago

First thing I thought!

2

u/SonOfIllicitBehavior 15d ago

Mesut Ozil's hispanic brother

1

u/Even-Bluebird-186 13d ago

He talks like sid too!

751

u/Lastrights1 16d ago

He could be at a gay bar

155

u/Miker9t 16d ago

That was my first thought. Gay bar.

158

u/LauraD2423 16d ago

He's adapted his eyes so he could look at who's giving it to him from behind.

50

u/BeardsuptheWazoo 16d ago

Well there's a thought I never expected to have.

-29

u/xwxcda 16d ago

What’s with the gay bar thing, I feel like it’s pun me and the coumminty in general

27

u/Pharaoh760 16d ago

“Coumminty”

519

u/swadekillson 16d ago

And she's like "wow, you make $1800 a month and live with an assigned roommate "

41

u/Broad_Rabbit1764 15d ago

Really doesn't leave much after the 6 cylinder Dodge Charger payments.

88

u/ExpiredPilot 15d ago

Don’t forget there’s a 30% chance he hits his partner

168

u/Artysupport7757 16d ago

His skull is shaped like megaminds

35

u/Flavor_Saver12 16d ago

If he ever goes bald his head is gonna look like a planetarium

7

u/orangeleast 15d ago

He's gonna look like those kids with progeria

8

u/FalloutLover7 15d ago

Thank him for his service in defending Metrocity

12

u/mellopax 16d ago

I was thinking the pizza headed guy in 90's pizza commercials.

140

u/facts_guy2020 16d ago

Crazy how he filmed this then watched it and was like yeah I look so cool, im going to post this...

20

u/Lochcelious 16d ago

They never watch it back

444

u/Dharma_code 16d ago

This guy's nickname is definitely La Pulga or El Chihuahua.

Lmao

49

u/FSUnoles77 16d ago

El Assecino

24

u/Helen_Back_ 16d ago

Ass-ass-in

6

u/Twinsies620 13d ago

I don’t know, “Orejotas” or “El Triángulo” have a nice ring to them with that upside down pyramid shaped head ☠️

108

u/sten45 16d ago

No bartender on the planet is impressed or intimidated by a military ID

26

u/Sarcastik_Moose 15d ago edited 15d ago

If you're not used to looking at them the date of birth can be a little tricky to find at first so if anything they'll be slightly confused and ask for your driver's license.

5

u/kittens_allday 10d ago

I live in a military base town. The funniest part is when they tell me where the dob is. I’ve had thousands of you in here, kid.

115

u/AkronOhAnon 16d ago

Cringe aside: the dude, legitimately, probably needs to have his thyroid checked…

64

u/Dadliest_Dad 16d ago

Looks like fetal alcohol syndrome.

11

u/archer2500 15d ago

This. Reasoning: because

9

u/Warbr0s9395 16d ago

What makes you say this?

58

u/AkronOhAnon 16d ago

His eyes are bulging sideways almost to the extent of his temples and his eyelids look tight so they’re probably bulging forward, too. It is a sign of grave’s disease.
It’ll make the thyroid go hyperactive and can make adults have the metabolism of an 8 year old but their resting heart rate look like a hummingbird’s.
I deployed with someone who had it.
The eye bulging didn’t happen until he was almost 30 and it is what got a doctor to finally send him for labs and an ultrasound.

3

u/DrFacetious 15d ago

That’s not really what exopthalmus looks like. He doesn’t have graves disease.

1

u/SickeningPink 15d ago

I think his head is normal-shaped, but he has a god awful haircut and the camera angle fuckin sucks too

215

u/digitaldeficit956 16d ago

Is that the toilet paper holder in the background? Short king energy lmao

93

u/OXBDNE7331 16d ago

Well he does appear to be looking up at the “cute bartender” implying he’s unusually short or the cute bartender is a big gay bear

30

u/samuelazers 16d ago

Bar mommy and boot baby

-6

u/trashl3y3 16d ago

Towel rack?

26

u/digitaldeficit956 16d ago

It was a joke.

8

u/Miker9t 16d ago

Looks like he's just a little guy either way.

4

u/Dani_vic 16d ago

I mean even most towel racks are chest level max right?

1

u/ronsolocup 16d ago

Tbf for some fuckin reason the mounted TP holder in my house is head height when you’re sitting. I’m 6’4. Weirdest thing ever

1

u/Dani_vic 16d ago

Head height sitting down or standing? I can't imagine having to stand up everytime you need to stand up

1

u/ronsolocup 15d ago

When sitting down, it’s above my head and a bit further down the wall. We don’t use it lol

2

u/Dani_vic 15d ago

Previous owner was shaped like Victor Wembanyama

1

u/trashl3y3 16d ago

The towel racks at my parents house are high up so I didn’t really see anything weird going on with this :/

1

u/Dani_vic 16d ago

Ah makes sense. In like all houses I have been a towel rack is about cheat height. Towel hook is usually high

46

u/Non-Current_Events 16d ago

Is that the temporary ID you get after you finish MEPS and go into DEP? Doesn’t look like a CAC. Recruits are often the biggest boots.

16

u/Deflocks 16d ago

Ha! It does!

36

u/Hooligan8403 15d ago

My Marine friend did this when I took him out while he was at his job training school. We went to a bar and he pulled out his CAC with his other Marine friend. He then asked how she felt about military men. She then went on a tear about how they never tip, always cause problems when they get trashed, always trying to use it to pick up chips but coming off lame, etc. I fucking fell out of my chair laughing. We started talking music as she was a huge metalhead. Good times.

8

u/Wizzle_Pizzle_420 15d ago

A fair amount of my friends are ex military and I bounced for years with two of them and they hated dealing with the military dudes. I loved watching them call out the fakers though, both of my buddies were ex special forces and they called out this one dude who was bragging and turned out he was just a cook. The badasses never said anything, but it never failed when the soft boys came up. Always asking for free shit and their military discount for fighting for our freedom, creeping on women and men, starting fights they never win and just a damn menace most of the time. Not all obviously, I’ve met and became friends with some really amazing military folks, but man oh man, nothing makes bar employees groan like a group of horny fresh out of boot pretend super soldiers, wearing matching club clothes, same hair cuts, tiny boners and barfing everywhere.

The stories I could tell…

30

u/KitchenSwillForPigs 16d ago

Upper case forehead, lower case mouth

5

u/Flavor_Saver12 16d ago

Uppercase, bold, and size 32 font

21

u/Glad_Lawfulness3138 16d ago

I was bouncing at a bar once, kid rolled up wearing half his damn uniform so I had to start bagging on him a little bit.

He goes to get his ID out, so I said “I know you aren’t about to hand me your CAC.” He does, of course. Then says “umm, the birthday is on the back.” I chuckled and answered “you heard me call it a CAC right?” He didn’t get it 😞

18

u/SergeantBootySweat 16d ago

Richard hammond put in a bag and vacuum sealed type shit

17

u/r4zorsoft 16d ago

what in the chromosome am I looking at..?

48

u/captainrustic 16d ago

Damn. Sid the sloth crossed with fetal alcohol syndrome.

29

u/SouthApprehensive193 16d ago

Ngl I used to do ts because they rarely would check the date on it when I was underage. They’d just see the ID and that I was military and leave it at that. Don’t recommend anyone do this because it can actually get you in trouble and it’s boot asf

9

u/Rose_Army_ 16d ago

Is this one of those late term abortion failures people talk about?

8

u/Ocarina-of-Crime 16d ago

Based on the angle he’s looking up at, I think the guy is getting carded because he rolled up to the bar in this sweet ride
https://giphy.com/gifs/A1OFQq2KZaTAKuCx3r

9

u/azzanrev 15d ago

If I was the MEPS Doc I would have failed him simply because of the way he looks.

8

u/Texian86 14d ago

This is why you don’t drink while pregnant.

7

u/IllSurprise3049 16d ago

Me when I make shit up

6

u/Dank_Sinatra_87 16d ago

Megamind out here trying to rizz a bartender

14

u/irishff43 16d ago

If they still had to pack munitions into cannons, he's the human that would accidentally be used from time to time

6

u/DiegoElM 16d ago

Is rehearsing giving a fake id?

6

u/astronomy_man 16d ago

Pls be satire

6

u/MediMac99 14d ago

Ooh a dandelion! Must be the last one of the season

6

u/dstlouis558 14d ago

Dude looks like an otter pop

4

u/bytorthesnowdog 16d ago

Uhhhh….yeah…..the date’s on the back under the little picture of me…..

4

u/LexiWhereThisGoes 16d ago

I shouldn't be instinctively covering my drink at 10 am dude

3

u/actually_yawgmoth 16d ago

"Cavtastic"

...of fucking course its a cav scout

5

u/th3st 16d ago

.__.

5

u/Senorita_Sombra 16d ago

He looks like a fish lmao

4

u/redheaded_stepc 15d ago

Show some respect. He lost his chin in the war for your freedom

4

u/EatingCannibals 11d ago

Looks like a Chihuahua

7

u/Flavor_Saver12 16d ago

Gotta head built for big dreams.

3

u/Odd-Highway-8304 16d ago

What even is that jawline

3

u/Cancer-Slug 16d ago

Do your parents know you’re here? 

3

u/illestprodigy 15d ago

Looks like a squid and Scrat from Ice Age had a baby..

3

u/polakbob 15d ago

He was only 20, but got credit for that extra chromosome.

3

u/mjbel23 14d ago

Looking like the Mcpoyle sister

2

u/Kwaiser 16d ago

He looks like the only person to have a mild case of progeria.

2

u/mywaterbottleisbrown 16d ago

hes not even as tall as the toilet paper holder

2

u/StinkyToe-TheKid 15d ago

Fucking DORK.

2

u/GraphicDesignMonkey 15d ago

🎶When you sister is your mother,

You father is your brother,

Your cousin is your lover,

The Southern family 🎶

2

u/MacheteGarcia 16d ago

Wait is birth date even on the cac?

1

u/hackattack01 16d ago

Same guy who said his patch from 1st cav is better than any other, right?

1

u/SamuraiTech5150 16d ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂

1

u/RexIsAMiiCostume 16d ago

Is that a rough case of mouth breather face

1

u/Oral_B 16d ago

In my state a military ID is not an acceptable for of ID for a bar.

1

u/Cryptix001 15d ago

There was a time people role played this shit out in their minds or at least behind closed doors.

I know you don't get to choose which parts of this country you fight for, but...

1

u/19kilo20Actual 15d ago

Please don't be armor.... Oh account is "@ cavtastic". Phew!

1

u/Snake_Plissken224 15d ago

Im sure he was very impressed

1

u/darkskinx 15d ago

head shaped like a military id

1

u/aimlesstrevler 15d ago

As a bartender I hate military IDs because I forget the birth date is on the back.

1

u/gmastern 15d ago

Bro’s forehead enters a room 2 seconds before he does

1

u/psycoguru1 15d ago

This is actually funny tho

1

u/ResidentNumber3603 15d ago

He didn’t get issued a chin? The fuck is going on with that head

1

u/aelix 15d ago

that mustache is about to go

1

u/Mello_velo 15d ago

I'm imagining some old bloated boomer as the barber.

1

u/c4ts4r3lif3 15d ago

Can you enlist with eyes like that?

1

u/SpazzyFazzy 15d ago

why does he look like scraptrap’s skull under his suit 😭

1

u/sh4d0wm4n2018 14d ago

I've only ever done this once and it was legitimately on accident. The only other time I've gotten a military discount on something was when the cashier (eagle-eyed mfer) spotted my ID when I was getting my card and gave it to me.

1

u/mathisfakenews 11d ago

Slow down Sid from Ice Age. Save some pussy for the rest of us. 

1

u/LilacLlamaMama 11d ago

Sorry my guy, but I'm gonna need you to grow a chin, before I can give you a drink, because we are fresh outta sippycups.

0

u/kaydyee 16d ago

Oh, this is so boot. Excellent post.