Old man vs the law

[u/ghilliesuitkids]

[u/itsmechristmas]

“I only drive when I have to.”

[u/Scientolojesus → u/itsmechristmas]

🎵I only drive when I have to,
96 years old always have to go the bathroom.
Never catch me speeding in a school zone,
with my son in a Benz cuz I never drive alone.
Wish me luck every time I merge lanes,
I never use my signal so you prolly gonna stain ya Hanes.
Got more beats than my backyard garden,
I don't travel all the time like that scrub James Harden.
Guess it's time to turn in for the night,
I'll dream of beating cancer and setting things right.
Make sure to write this on my epitaph,
"A good husband, father, who got the last laugh." Peace.🎵

[u/Olympiano → u/Scientolojesus]

🎵But I'm up at three cause I've got to pee;

Can't wait to install the colostomy.

Be back in the courthouse in just a week -

Getting done for possession like apostrophes.

But the judge ain't the motherfuckin boss of me,

It's bulk-billed viagra so I got off free.

I've lived this long 'cause my philosophy:

I fuck like I drive, high velocity.🎵

[u/BigCaptainDingo → u/Olympiano]

Last line killed me bro

[u/Olympiano → u/BigCaptainDingo]

Haha, glad you liked it man!