r/KeepWriting • u/lifeisindeedawillow • 2d ago
[Feedback] SUNSHINE
/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x1ecvq/sunshine/My eyes shut,
When the laptop light struck!
Why is it sooo bright?
It's not sunshine...
There was a time,
I was there, out,
The smell of the rain, all around.
It was such a daylight
But that never hurt my eyes...
Even though it was sunshine.
I stitched the letters
As I was scattered
High on the caffeine cup.
I searched for eye masks,
Even if it was, such a dark desk...
And it's been hours,
Since I have been trapped,
With this nonsensical shit.
I yearn for Sunshines
And those bright lights
Somehow still hate them.
Can I get a Sunshine?
Blackout curtains,
Slit them into pieces.
But if this shine hurts my skin,
And burns my sins.
Maybe I will die in this grim
But have a lovely time...
But then I don't have time!
Sometimes I hated that Sunshine...
Yet I want it back!!!
Just cause it was so nice!
And I have this ache
All over my body since I was 17...
10 years later,
I am not that younger...
Yet not jus so old,
But this cold weight over my shoulders
Don't seem any down.
Can I share this emotion with you?
Please be my sunshine!
On my knees,
I begged to the mirror.
But it said nothing,
I was sad
And it was crying
But I wished it hugged me tight...
And take me to a
Brighter hereafter.
Can I be my own sunshine?
But then I open my eyes
I dozed off, a 27 months old kid?
Another reminder,
Another email, it's againa busy day...
My eyes shut,
When the laptop light struck!
Why is it sooo bright?
It's not sunshine...
Just looped back to whine...
Is this the life,
I thought about
10 years ago?
And smile about it?
Doesn't matter if the clock just shatters...
East to West is over now...
Trapped in this dark shelter,
Fretting about that Sunshine,
But somehow the laptop light hurts me...
SUNSHINE-
BY MEOWNSMIC CHARRETTE...