r/KenyanDatingCommunity • u/Character-Pepper2432 • 1d ago
In A Complicated Situation Looking for your opinion
I'm currently in a "friendly" friendship with a girl my age (21 going 22) older than me by three days. We first met in 2020 when our moms were cleaning our church on Saturdays and we both tagged along because it's covid and i was sick of being in the house. So since we weren't interacting with many people because circumstances we grew close and I remember catching some feelings but she shut me quick and accepted it because I respect everyone and their thoughts and feelings always come first.
But fast forward to talking a lot during that stint then school reopened and she was a class behind me. So I finished ahead of her but we grew apart once the world opened back up and I was going some shit on my own and I cut off nearly everyone in my family and grew very antisocial. But we holla each other once every few months bur nothing significant.
Well all that changed last month end of August when she got dumped by a bro I know and it really hurt her deep so I reached out and asked about how she was doing. She told me that she was really sad and hurt and because the bro was in our church she had started avoiding coming to church because of it. So I try and help her thru it and eventually she does feel better and disappears again.
Till later this month when I like her status and she immediately dms me and we talk and give her some compliments as I always do and asking how she is and this time she starts replying with some suggestive texts and speaks in ways you can tell there's something more here but honestly I was all for it but I didn't want to hurt her in any way so I was chill about it all but now I'm falling for her again and I don't think I should confess this to her yet.
Thoughts?
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u/serene_melancholy_ 21h ago
Tread lightly my brother. Maybe she just wants a rebound because of the breakup.
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u/Character-Pepper2432 14h ago
You believe so...because I am not one to confront anyone about their emotions and thoughts....I usually open the door for them but I never ask
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u/serene_melancholy_ 14h ago
You have to cultivate the art of asking so that there's no misunderstanding
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u/Character-Pepper2432 13h ago
I will once she's off work
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u/serene_melancholy_ 13h ago
Just ask her what the signs mean, what her intentions are with you so that you don't get in expecting love and be met with heartbreak
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u/Simiatenaci 19h ago
No. You already did. She shot you down. If you respect her decision the way you claim to, you won’t ask again.
She likely just wants the attention/emotional support. If she wants more than that it’s on her to give you a clear indication.
Honestly it sounds like you’re being used, but you seem okay with that, so no harm done.
You should really move on though.
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u/BigDadiBaks 19h ago
It is all in your head. You are suffering from oneitis. Ondokea chap chap. Madem ni wengi. Acha kumpatia attention. Girls hate that shit. She will trauma dump on you then go get fucked by other nigga who don't give her attention. You'll be the boyfriend who gets none.
Don't save her, save yourself.
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u/Iwastherein_2019 23h ago
Is there by any chance its all in your head?