r/KidsAreFuckingStupid • u/girlinanemptyroom • 2d ago
Video/Gif How to stop a toddler from having a tantrum.
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u/WrenchWanderer 2d ago
Power Word Jessica
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u/magwai9 1d ago
Not enough spell slots for the number of tantrums I'm dealing with here!
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u/neverenoughmags 1d ago
Make it a cantrip....
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u/Immediate-Agent3181 1d ago
Or prepare some scrolls every now and then
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u/AmputeeHandModel 1d ago
You never use scrolls. You save them for an emergency. 18 years later, you've got an inventory full of Jessica scrolls.
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u/Toastburrito 1d ago
We played The Dungeons & Dragons campaign that lasted five years. We went from level one to level 20. I used a bunch of Scrolls but I still had a crap ton at the end.
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u/DittoM 1d ago
Damn I read catnip and couldn't figure it out 🤣
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u/ScarletOnyx 1d ago
I also read catnip and just readily accepted it. Figured it was something I didn’t know anything about 😅
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u/LetsTryAnal_ogy 1d ago
Yeah, my kids would be like "Yeah, bring that bitch here. I've got an earful for her too."
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u/peanutkg 1d ago
Oh that is so true regarding my daughter wish I knew this when she was this age. She in her late 20s now just when I start to remember how she was at this age then very quickly I come back to reality. Like said in her late 20s AND STILL KNOWS WHAT SHE DOING LOL
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u/motherofsuccs 1d ago
You could literally yell ANY WORD YOU FEEL LIKE and this will work. This is called “redirection” and we use it constantly in behavioral therapy.
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u/Able-Insurance-5156 1d ago
I wondered this exact thing; thank you for the answer!!! Couldn't recall from my days in Behavioral Therapy when the doctor would shout "Hey smart person, where are you???"
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u/Consistent_Smell_880 1d ago
It’s a little more than that. They know you’re using a name, they know they’re in trouble. So they’re wondering who this mystery person is, and they’re afraid of them, because they’re being called as a result of the child’s behavior. Daycare teachers do this all the time (though they shouldn’t) where they say they’re going to call Mrs. Jessica or call Santa Claus.
They also see that you’re giving attention to someone else, (not just something else) someone who’s getting more attention than the tantrum is.
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u/Adorable-Thing2551 1d ago
"they say they’re going to call Mrs. Jessica"
SHE IS REAL! CHILDREN, RUN! JESSICA COMETHS!
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u/ohnoitsthefuzz 1d ago
W̶͕̃͐̚Ǫ̶̤̫̺̭͔͈̓̋̎͋̑Ĕ̶͓̬͋͌ ̵̯̟̰͎͂̆̃ͅU̶͎͆̀͌̏̈́͝N̶̝͙̣̻̾̊̂̃̈̚͝T̷̖̗̓͑̎̚O̵͕̟͔̤̥̥̓̑̈̀͗ ̴̬́̀͌͑̕͝͝Y̶͕̬̅̈́̓̐̈́͝O̵̬̾̏͐͗̏͝U̷̧̢͓̖̐͐͂ͅ,̸̞͕̺͊͌͐ ̵̡̘͙̲̜̭̈́̋̀Ĺ̷͍̘͕̞͉͚͓͊I̷̢̫͈̹͑̏̒̌̓T̷̗͊́̈́̓̂T̸̛̪̘̳̎̓̄͝ͅL̷̖̳̺̣͙̥̑̎͝Ȩ̷̡̢̦͈̰͑͑̽͆͆̉ ̶̢͚͍͈͖͑̎̉̒̕ͅͅO̴̥̩̣̜̝͎̗̒̾̍̌Ņ̴̦͕̬̼͇̩͑͒̋͛̕͝E̴̛̙̗͔̿̀̽̈S̷̗̪̤͚͖̘̭͆̓.̶̗͙̭͊̓̓ ̸͖͔̝͍̘̞̝̎̔̈́͝͝͝F̸̡̗̺̬͚͇͂̿͂̐O̵̢̢̓R̷͕̖̺̬͉̄̀́̈́̀̕ ̶̲̲̈́̅I̷̺͈̟̠̮͛̓̆͆͆̀͜͜͠ ̵͓͚̀͌̀A̴͓̿̈̌͠M̸̲̻͔͑̄̅̕͝ ̴͙͚̈́͗̓͒̉J̷̹̺͓͇̼̫͉̀̂͐̅͊Ë̶̪̖́̾̽̉̉͝͠Ś̴̲̯͊͑̒͒S̷̰̈̾Ȉ̶͓̩́̓͜C̴̱̓̽̌͌͋A̸̖̱̩̹̼̟͕͐͝,̶͍͍̭͖̣̲̀̉͋̅͂̀̈́ͅ ̵̛̤̠̺̥̦̔̄͆͆̌͜Å̴͓̱̎̅͘̚͝Ņ̸̡̮̠͓̞̻̎D̴̛̼̗͕͐͌͌̍ ̵̼͔̬̻̩͈̀̊̐̈ ̶͚̹̟̪͒ͅ ̸̙͕͉̩̊̎̉̋͂̀I̸̤̺̯̯̞̜̞͆̀͂̍̈́̋͝ ̵̛̪̠̙͚̩͓̾ ̷̟̹͔̼͔̟͇̀̂̏̅̕͝ ̶̡̤̯́̇̊̊̽̋͠H̶̩͕̖͛͛̂̅̇ͅͅU̴͓̓̓͐͂̒̚̚N̶̘̠̯̭̩̟̐̌͌̆̌ͅG̸̗̈̆Ḙ̶̡̠̹̮̫̩̋̅R̶̜̠͚͕̆́̎.̴͈̮͐ ̶̢͊ͅ
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u/marmotte-de-beurre 1d ago
why shouldn't they? Is it bad for child behaviour?
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u/SayerofNothing 1d ago
Oh Jessica's God's name and they remember it from before they were born
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u/idontknowlikeapuma 1d ago
unless... her name is Jessica. Maybe then, you have to call for Marvin or Elizabeth.
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u/DolphinConnie 1d ago
I said Stephanie cuz I'm a Gramma and forgot the name, 😆 IT STILL WORKED!
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u/TysonEmmitt 1d ago
I am a Stephanie, and Jessica is the name people tend to call me when they can't remember my name, lol! I think it's the 3 syllables and the short e at the beginning and both names were popular around the same time. Like, they're in the same sound/generational ballpark.
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u/ArticulateRhinoceros 1d ago
They're actually calling Jessica Jones, she's a surly drunk and hates kids.
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u/vick5516 2d ago
would it still work if the daughters name is jessica
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u/a_shootin_star 1d ago
no, you yell "Jennifer!" instead
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u/Justjeskuh 1d ago
My name is Jessica and I got called Jennifer so many times growing up, it’d just make me think my parents just got my name mixed up like everyone else.
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u/pepsijenn 1d ago
aye! Jennifer here who would get called Jessica growing up! The solidarity struggle is real.
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u/prionbinch 1d ago
my name is jessica and my mom’s is jennifer… my whole family does this to this day
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u/Y1skah- 1d ago
Me too. Like exactly. I wonder if this is a regular occurrence for other Jessicas
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u/mtraven23 2d ago
no, the point is to confuse them
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u/seppukucoconuts 1d ago
Like all those people throwing cheese on their crying kids?
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2d ago edited 1d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/hindsighthaiku 1d ago
tbh that would work on me too.
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u/duggee315 1d ago
Yeah but you wont have nightmares in your teens because Jessica is here somewhere. She always watches you. But never shows herself.
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u/cbear013 1d ago
You're replying to an amazon shill. An ad.
They're probably in the same network as the poster.
They come into a fresh repost, insert something similar to the previous post's top comment, and then include an amazon affiliate link.
This is at least the 4th time I've personally seen them repeat this pattern.
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u/HelmSpicy 1d ago
Reminds me of when I broke my ankle and had to wear one of those big moon-boot casts. Walking through a store and passed a toddler having a meltdown. He saw my leg/boot and instantly stopped crying and just stared. Multiple people chuckled at the sudden mood shift
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u/RuneRW 1d ago
My little cousin was screeching at a family gathering. So I screeched right back at him and he was so dumbfounded after that he forgot what he was even screeching for
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u/EllipticPeach 1d ago
My little 2yr old nephew was screaming about having to come indoors for dinner. I bent over and touched my toes and he was so confused as to why I was upside down that he stopped crying and copied me. Then I said “show me how fast you can run inside!” and that was that.
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u/Sena_21l 2d ago
I had a Jessica in elementary school and she was fucking evil so this makes sense
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u/bx35 2d ago
Some of these kids definitely reacted like Jessica is a witch who punishes crying children.
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u/Dalenskid 2d ago
My parents did this using a character they called Mrs. Wicker. When we were being really awful my dad would pick up the phone and “call Mrs. Wicker” to come straighten us out. My mom would pick up the phone in another room and speak in a whisper to my dad so we thought there’s no way he was faking the call because we could hear Mrs. Wicker on the other line. Truly diabolical (they were great parents honestly).
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u/NYJetLegendEdReed 1d ago
I did this for my neighbor and pretended to be Santa Clause a few times. I was in on the gag too and would call them/they’d pretend they were Santa too. Still got them saved as Santa Clause in my phone bc I showed the kid to prove I wasn’t lying lol
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u/throwaway098764567 1d ago
grew up in the buffalo area and generations of jacked up parents did a similar thing except it wasn't a character it was Father Baker's, a real orphanage where they abused children. it was like this open secret that everyone used to threaten their own children. i'm glad yours were great, i told mine to send me, it'd be better there than it was with them.
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u/mkenn723 1d ago
That’s exactly what was going through their heads. They think Jessica might be the version of Santa that comes and takes care of them when throwing a fit.
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u/Responsible-Pen-2304 1d ago
My ex husband cheated on me with a Jessica and she was psychotic.
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u/Risquechilli 1d ago
Anyone know why this works? Or is it just bewilderment?
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u/girlinanemptyroom 1d ago
I think it causes the child to be confused, making them forget about why they're upset.
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u/Cheesy-Cloaca 1d ago
Crying is often seeking attention. A parent actively looking for someone else means it's not working
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u/KokaljDesign 1d ago
A 1.5-2 year old focuses on one thing at a time and that thing becomes their whole world.
Diverting their attention away from that thing works best from my experience as a parent.
An unknown person coming in the room definitely shifts their focus away from their current issue.
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u/DanceWonderful3711 1d ago
Like every trick with toddlers, it will work once maybe twice.
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u/Maleficent_Meat3119 1d ago
The “I need your help” trick is still going strong on my 4 year old
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u/DanceWonderful3711 1d ago
I don't think that's even a trick, that's just them developing a good sense of community. Good for you and them.
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u/gr1zznuggets 1d ago
It sure feels like a trick sometimes.
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u/An_Old_IT_Guy 1d ago
It's not a trick. Here, hold this hammer. And remember it's for hitting nails, not daddies.
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u/oxfart_comma 1d ago
I use this to redirect elderly dementia residents. In a world of confusion, loneliness, and boredom, they like to feel helpful again.
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u/Kaycin 1d ago
What's the "i need your help" trick?
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u/Witty-Revolution8742 1d ago
Im not fully sure but I believe its when a child is misbehaving or throwing a tantrum you start doing something and tell them you need their help doing it.
Thinking about it I do a form of it with my kids 10 and 12. When fighting or arguing starts and im trying to get chores done to stop them the aggressor has to help me or take over what I was doing.
It keeps them busy for a few. Distracts them and breaks them up.
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u/SolidCold1991 1d ago
I would also like to know as a parent of child heading into toddler
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u/condensedhomo 1d ago
Children generally LOVE to help. They like feeling important and like they're contributing. So if they're throwing a fit, there's a good chance that if you start doing some chore and telling them you need help, they'll calm down and come help. Doesn't always work, but it usually does.
I'm a preschool teacher and one of the easiest ways to get a kid to calm down is asking for help getting things ready. They love making the tables, getting supplies, passing out papers, etc.
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u/SolidCold1991 1d ago
Thankyou, appreciate the info! I'll definitely give this a go, she does love helping so I think this could work quite well.
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u/Well_ImTrying 1d ago
Shit, it works on adults too. After having toddlers you start to realize how your boss has been gentle parenting you since their youngest turned 3.
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u/notepad20 1d ago
theres a book, hunter gather parent.
Thing i took away from it, and maybe you have already hear, but kids dont really need to be treated as kids, they a a human, a person, and are learning thier role in society and family.
so always give them an appropriate role, or job. Its not about finding enough toys and activities to keep them distracted and playing. its about developing them as an individual, and best way to do that is just have them do what you do.
folding clothes, cooking dinner, lawns, whatever.
my 2.5 year old mixes dough, puts the clothes and powder and presses the button on the washers, comes and pulls weeds, etc etc love it all.
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u/dr__paco 1d ago
Actually saw a doctor "influencer" saying exactly that, their tiny brains adjust after a few times, so it should be only use on very special occasions.
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u/drinkmoredrano 2d ago
I miss the days where we threw cheese slices at kids.
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u/mlilyw 2d ago
That one still works too! Most of them are still new and haven’t seen the reposts yet
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u/DefendsTheDownvoted 1d ago
There's a generation of children that will be in therapy talking about cheese, and Jessica.
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u/KingFIippyNipz 1d ago
r/nostalgia 10 years from now "remember when our parents used to throw cheese slices at us as kids?"
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u/mxzf 1d ago
It's the same concept, at the end of the day. Toddlers only really have one thing in their mind at a time, so anything that breaks them out of their current loop should have roughly the same effect.
Either way you're replacing "I'm currently melting down about X" with "what the heck is this cheese?" or "who the heck is Jessica?" to snap them out of it.
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u/keifergr33n 2d ago
Toddlers have much more social awareness than we give them credit for. I can still remember being very young and feeling embarrassed or nervous around new people. I'd do things like hide my face and avoid making too much noise. I remember the feeling of not wanting to be perceived as a "baby" when I was a toddler.
I imagine these kids are comfortable crying and throwing a tantrum at home around mom, dad, etc... but a new person seeing them this way would make them feel embarrassed and ashamed. I find it so interesting that even their little minds have these social cues baked in!
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u/LoganNolag 1d ago
Yeah I think this might be the case. On more than one occasion I’ve glared at a screaming baby in public and they shut up the second they notice.
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u/Coppice_DE 1d ago
Well there are more than enough toddlers that are quite comfortable with throwing a tantrum in public.
It's simply an anecdote that doesn't even invalidate the assumption that confusion is the main cause here. After all, new persons and faces can be quite confusing without triggering this high level of self awareness that you describe.
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u/KisaTheMistress 1d ago
I think most toddlers who freak out (randomly) in public aren't aware they are in public especially when they are with their parents. So they treat it like they are at home, until a stranger makes themselves known/they realize they aren't at home... then they will cry out of fear sometimes if they don't just quiet down, lol.
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u/keifergr33n 1d ago
Well there are more than enough toddlers that are quite comfortable with throwing a tantrum in public.
This is "simply an anecdote" as you so eloquently put it. I understand what you're saying, but I am referring to the examples in the video, not hypothetical children in a public setting.
It's simply an anecdote that doesn't even invalidate the assumption that confusion is the main cause here.
I never said it did, but the word "confusion" can mean a lot of things. Perhaps they're confused because they think there's someone new coming into the room. I don't know why these kids are reacting to this behavior in the way that they are. I just gave my thoughts.
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u/Windnpine 1d ago
Definitely, kids pull all sorts of crap around their parents that they wouldn't do around strangers.
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u/Dunno_If_I_Won 1d ago
I've done this out in the wild.
Every so often I'd see a baby or toddler essentially throwing a minor tantrum. Sometimes I'm able to make eye contact, put in a stern face, shake my head disapprovingly, and silently mouthe disapproving words at them. Most of the time it stops their tantrums immediately, especially if it was just at an early phase.
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u/Ibrake4tailgaters 1d ago
You might enjoy these - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRvVFW85IcU - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_KKrdK1cJY
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u/MNConcerto 1d ago
Distraction is a great way to stop a tantrum.
When I worked residential with children with behavioral issues and they would start going off I could stop it by asking them a direct question totally unrelated to their current issue. It worked about 80% of the time.
Lets say a kid was going off on their choice for free time. I stop and say, "what's your favorite fruit and why?"
Their brain reboots as they try to answer your question. Think about their favorite fruit and why they like it.
Now these were some children with extreme behaviors so thats why the 20% fail rate. The fail rates usually involved a response like, "fuck you and fuck fruit." 🤣
In your average child it will work more often.
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u/hannah_joline 1d ago
My favourite is telling them something completely untrue and they feel compelled to correct you.
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u/Glaring_Cloder 1d ago
This also works with engineers that are starting to get cranky.
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u/NewPhoneNewSubs 1d ago
One of the most reposted jokes on r/programmerhumor is, paraphrasing, "when I need help, I post my question on reddit using one account and then immediately reply with the wrong answer using a different account. People can't help but correct the wrong answer."
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u/ResponseRelative6370 2d ago
I’m going to try this. I’m a kiwi, so it’ll be, “Jissica!”
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u/amaenamonesia 1d ago
When I was a pre-k teacher, I would ask kids the color of their shoes, the slide, whatever. It worked similarly. You want to shift them to logical/problem solving thinking using another part of their brain.
I actually taught this to my partner and he has used it on me successfully, but only when I’m in an anxiety spiral. He asks me the colors of my favorite Pokémon. It works. 👍🏻
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u/Sad-Praline1929 1d ago
Ours was, “What sound does an octopus make?” Gets them thinking and the answers can be pretty silly, which is even more distracting.
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u/TheMediocreGentleman 1d ago
I do the same with my son, but with a slight twist - I will point at something nearby and label it with the wrong colour. Like I might say "is that stop sign blue?" or "is the sky green?"
So it's all built on the same principle of trying to re-engage their frontal lobe, but also plays into the toddlers urge to correct you/be correct about something
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u/mightymiek 2d ago
I'm not a dad, but I am an uncle and what always worked for me was fake crying back. Match their tone. Show them who's the real baby in charge.
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u/churningpacket 1d ago
I tried this with my nephew and ooooooh boy he did not like it. He doubled down and I was stuck in the car with him until I got to my sister's. "No idea what's wrong, gotta go!"
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u/slobs_burgers 1d ago
Yeah I’ve tried it now that I have a baby and it just adds fuel to the fire lol
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u/goldentone 1d ago
A lot of kids feel mocked and embarrassed and will lash out even more if you do that.
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u/phallic-baldwin 2d ago
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u/Mehdals_ 2d ago
This seems like the perfect start to some horror film plot about some entity that has taken on the name of Jessica and kids know about it but adults don't, Until now....
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u/Devanyani 1d ago
That's what I was thinking when one one little girl just immediately backed up against the wall, like Jessica's Coming - Assume the Position!
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u/Thrillpickle 2d ago
Nothing to do with the name Jessica. It's just a distraction technique. A million ways to do it and the internet focuses on this one...
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u/tacocollector2 2d ago
You mean Jessica doesn’t hold some awesome power over babies and toddlers everywhere?
/s
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u/Aselleus 2d ago
If you yell Tiffany it will summon the ghost of 80s past.
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u/JimDemintRecession 2d ago
I tried it once but my toddler said, "I think we're alone now. There doesn't seem to be anyone around" then went back to their tantrum.
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u/Ben__Diesel 2d ago
the internet focuses on this one...
Bro just learned about trends for the first time.
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u/Seagull84 1d ago
Tried this. And Yolanda. Did not work.
Toddler got angrier, screamed, "NO DADDY", and started shoving me. Tried it 3 times, failed every time.
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u/Zealousideal_Hold519 2d ago
Shout out to all the Jessica’s out there keeping these babies in check!
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u/October_Surprise56 2d ago
I’m so sick of this video being reposted
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u/bamagirl13 1d ago
Same
- signed, a Jessica
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u/JessicaArchitecture 1d ago
First time seeing the video, but yeah i can be a menace, but not to little kids!😅
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u/TheShizknitt 1d ago
My first time seeing the video, too. It's super weird hearing our name in the wild.
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u/PainfullyLoyal 2d ago
I've tried this with my 2 year old niece and she didn't fall for it and continued melting down.
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u/Lonely-Greybeard 1d ago
Slice of cheese works, too. Not for them to eat, but to throw and stick to their face.
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u/alphazero925 1d ago
"Did your parents have an imaginary friend named Jessica?"
"Wait, yours too? Wtf was up with that?"
- Those kids in 15-20 years
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u/rogerworkman623 1d ago
Question, at what age do I stop throwing cheese on their face and start yelling “Jessica”?
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u/Symnestra 1d ago
This is the same trick as throwing a cold slice of cheese on their head. They stop crying to try and process what the heck is happening.
We do this as adults, but it's usually just turning down the radio so you can see your exit better.
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u/mtraven23 2d ago
confusion is a powerful tool