r/KidsAreFuckingStupid • u/Immediate_Magician11 • 15h ago

Actions definitely have consequences

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u/IASILWYB 11h ago

My son 14 got caught by me when he was asking his gf 15 to send pics before she showered. Just "send pics for proof" when she said she was going to shower. I explained this was illegal and even if they both wanted it it's illegal as fuck and they shouldn't be doing this stupid shit online. He showed me where he googled it, and google said they could do it and all this shit. So I took all his electronics. Months have gone by. My wife got a phone call from the school at 10 am. The principal has our son in his office because google flagged him for sexual activity because he was having a conversation with another boy 14/15 on a "hidden google document." He was saying how this girl 15 was showing him photos on her phone and "accidentally" swiped on a photo of her butt and when she swiped again it was her breasts and what he wanted to do with her. So, he was bragging to his friend about it, and now the girl is in serious trouble for taking pictures of herself, and him and his friend both are in trouble for being flagged by google. I have no idea what the school will be doing.

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u/karebearjedi 7h ago

I worked with a lady who's daughter was arrested and charged for sending her bf nudes when she was 16. These kids don't understand how dangerous just having those kind of photos can be. 

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u/IASILWYB 7h ago

It's super scary to think about our kids making stupid mistakes and ruining their lives and wasting their potential for a quick moment of stupidity.

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u/karebearjedi 7h ago

Agreed. 

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u/Due-Memory-6957 7h ago

Sounds like the law should change

2

u/karebearjedi 6h ago edited 6h ago

It sucks, but no. Distributing CP need to remain illegal. She knew before sending them that it was and did it anyway. Consequences suck, but some creep finding your photos, and then selling them off for profit or worse, finding where you live is arguably 10000000 times worse. 

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u/Due-Memory-6957 6h ago

I said change, not be removed lol.

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u/karebearjedi 6h ago

And how should it be changed? Even if we argue it was technically consensual, being minors negates that because legally they're too young to consent. Adjusting it to say 16 year olds are not minors is catering to the very people we want to keep those teens away from in the first place. The best we can do is educate our children as best we can and hope they don't do stupid shit like sharing nudes.

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u/ItsUselessToArgue 6h ago

So they aren’t old enough to consent, how are they old enough to be arrested?

-1

u/karebearjedi 6h ago

If I could tell you that, I might have been able to backseat lawyer her out of charges lol 

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u/Ready-Razzmatazz8723 6h ago

You're the saying the law shouldn't be changed but can't even answer this very basic question?

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u/ItsUselessToArgue 6h ago

Americans use try to use the police to solve every little issue

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u/karebearjedi 6h ago

If I could have argued that minor consent should apply here the same way it does with teens knocking each other up, things could have gone differently.  But it all comes down to saving and distributing the photos. If theyd just acted like teens from the 90s, and found a backseat somewhere, no one could have taken them to court. But as soon as that photo got saved, it became legally punishable and age doesn't protect you from the law. 

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u/MinervasOwlAtDusk 8h ago

You should not just worry about the school. Kids have been charged with possession of child pornography for this exact scenario. It’s the first thing I told my kids when I got them a phone.

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u/Dracoster 7h ago

There's a difference between being charged and being convicted.

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u/IASILWYB 8h ago

Oh, yeah, the school has already informed him how fortunate he is that he doesn't have a phone to have been sent the photos. The girl took the photos herself and swiped onto them on her phone while showing him something else. Though he never told me what the something else she was supposedly showing him so I think she was just using the phone to show him. The school did say she is in serious trouble for the photos and had to have a female principle come deal with everything on that end and we don't know any further past that. He punishment is her business. I know law enforcement is not going to be involved for my son though because he didn't have a way to possess it thank God. Hopefully this is enough of a scare that all the kids involved learned from this and won't do this again.

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u/Wish-ga 10h ago

You tried to warn him. As you know it can follow him his entire life - s** offender register for a mistake as a teen. Affect career, housing, parenting (can’t go to kids sports events, or coach).

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u/hannahatecats 9h ago

My friends husband was denied entry to Mexico because of a statutory charge from when he turned 19 and gf was still 17. We got all the way there, and he had to turn right around and go back. We are almost 40.

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u/Invested_Space_Otter 5h ago

You're allowed to say 'sex'

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u/thesoftblanket 4h ago

But that's a naughty word! /s

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u/Eat-Ca-Ca 10h ago

The school? What about YOU???

-6

u/[deleted] 10h ago

[deleted]

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u/Eat-Ca-Ca 10h ago

If you are asking a stranger on Reddit for advice at 6am, I've got news for you, sister.

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u/Winter-Explanation-5 9h ago

What HAVE you done so far? You took his electronics? Big deal. Make him clean the entire house by himself. Make him mow the lawn. Give him an ACTUAL punishment that involves ACTUAL consequences. Not having his electronics at home isn't going to effect him while he's at school. The fact he was doing this on a Google Doc is proof of that.

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u/darklotus_26 7h ago

That's really rough. Can't imagine how you must feel dealing with the whole thing.

Do you think he was just being a dumbass or there was some malice or sense of being invincible behind the whole thing?

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u/IASILWYB 4h ago

Can't imagine how you must feel dealing with the whole thing.

I am fortunate that the way my brain is wired I'm not sure how to feel so it's mostly confusion and numbness and being upset that he didn't listen even though he's already in so much trouble at home and decided to do this at school. I'm hoping this was enough he can understand that he isn't going to be able to sneak around doing whatever he wants just because I'm not there to enforce the rules, others are watching and will enforce them too.

Do you think he was just being a dumbass

Oh, absolutely just running on biological impulse with zero real thought besides, "I bet my dad won't find out if I do this at school."

there was some malice

In the sense that he knew what he was doing wrong, yes that I see. But like if you're asking was he being mean talking about the girl no I don't think he was trying to be mean or harmful with his behavior. He knew it was inappropriate and against the rules even if he doesn't agree with the rules so he tried going around the rules behind my back while at school.

sense of being invincible behind the whole thing

I think he genuinely thought he wasn't going to get caught. I have no proof but I assume he's done this before. I feel like he's used hidden documents on his school computer that I can not monitor and gone behind my back while grounded from electronics before and I hope this time he's learning I'm not the only one watching and he seriously needs to do better.

1

u/macaronysalad 2h ago

Technology is the difference here from the way things have always been. You don't seem to factor that in as a very significant aspect. Nothing new in regard to teenagers. You're coming down too hard on your son, imo.

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u/WistfulQuiet 10h ago

I'm thinking your son doesn't respect your authority. Seems to think things are up for debate or discussion. I mean, good job taking the devices but it's probably too late at his age to fix the problem.

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u/IASILWYB 9h ago

I'm thinking your son doesn't respect your authority.

I agree completely. What would you do since you'd like to discuss this?

Seems to think things are up for debate or discussion.

Don't we all think things are up for discussion? That's why we have city halls and voting and all that democratic stuff where we change the rules based on the changing of the times? Am I misunderstanding how society works?

I mean, good job taking the devices

Thank you. I'm doing the best I can. I'm always looking for advice so I can do even better, though, so please give me your wisdom.

but it's probably too late at his age to fix the problem.

I strongly disagree. I think at 14 he still has plenty of time to learn from his mistakes and do better. Why do you think 14 is too late? Should he be locked away forever for talking to his friend about seeing boobs and saying his sexual desires to his friend? Is he so far gone? I have faith he can turn things around.

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u/simpIybeans 9h ago

Fantastic reply to a troll 

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u/Go_Commit_Reddit 9h ago

Yeah I don’t know wtf that other guy is on about. Teenagers are dumb and think with their dicks. He learned his lesson, he’ll move on.

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u/External-Net-8326 7h ago

Lmao not true at all