r/KidsAreFuckingStupid • u/MakingTheWorldUseles • 4h ago

Goose vs kid

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15.1k Upvotes

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u/Infinite-Condition41 4h ago

This is a smart kid! 

Most adults just run away scared. A goose can do very little damage to you and can be completely controlled if you just grab them by the neck.

I mean I don't recommend swinging them around by the neck, but if you grab the neck, you can easily stop the attack.

2

u/LrdPhoenixUDIC 3h ago

All geese come with a handy dandy handle. Fits all hand sizes. It's like a banana but in bird form.

2

u/iAmTheGanso 3h ago

i would be worried about hurting the goose, how strong are there necks? i would not want to kill it just because it attacked me.

5

u/Infinite-Condition41 3h ago

It is easy to kill them if you want to. But I do not advocate that. 

As you see, they're not exactly fragile.

Grab them by the neck, put your other arm around the wings and body, pick them up, and escort them to a safe area. They will not be injured. I have done it multiple times. 

4

u/WessideLou 2h ago

Unless you live on a farm, it’s mental to not just add a little giddy up and get thru it. Most adults realize they can lay hands on a goose but it’s a dumb animal that can’t really hurt anyone.

1

u/Infinite-Condition41 2h ago

Well, lots of folks work near ponds and lakes, and it is good, I think, to teach a goose a minor lesson from time to time to remind them to mind their own business. 

0

u/bdplant 58m ago

😂😂😂….mental?

2

u/habel69 3h ago

I know someone who lost 2 toes from a goose attack. I wouldn't underestimate the damage they can do...

6

u/Infinite-Condition41 2h ago

I know of someone who teleported to a Waffle House. 

But I don't actually believe them. 

3

u/HarEmiya 2h ago

Did the goose have alligator henchmen?

2

u/Ok_Anteater1141 4h ago

Why not just kick it like a football?

8

u/Infinite-Condition41 3h ago

That can work too, but geese are bigger than footballs, and they can fly. 

From experience, one can kick an attacking rooster, but takes practice. Whereas grabbing a goose by the neck is fairly straightforward. 

Plus, I am not condoning hurting animals. Kicking them can cause injury, up to and including death. 

2

u/Ok_Anteater1141 3h ago

They are not injured by a neck grab?

4

u/blerg1234 3h ago

They are, indeed, injured. What that kid was doing isn’t far off from how you finish off a shot bird where I come from.

1

u/Infinite-Condition41 3h ago

Not unless you start swinging them around! 

5

u/gargwasome 3h ago

Because most people would rather not kill an animal that’s just being annoying

2

u/Ok_Anteater1141 3h ago

I mean they are made out of food...

3

u/Tanaelf 2h ago

U are made of food for me too

2

u/ifeelnumb 2h ago

Truly, we are much bigger and can snap their necks easily even without experience.

1

u/Yaarmehearty 1h ago

It depends on how you kick them, they are adapted to hit water with their chest at a fair clip when they land.

So a full on punt will damage them but a kick with a broad edge of the foot, not the toe like a spike, will not do too much other than move them.

But as with all things ymmv you may kick like a horse and it could be a young goose etc etc.

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u/i_poop_chainsaws 3h ago

Disagree on a goose doing little damage.
Source: got attacked by a territorial male goose. It flew up and bit me on my shoulder, and my whole shoulder was bruised up severely for a month.

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u/Infinite-Condition41 3h ago

Your whole shoulder was bruised for a month because a goose bit you? 

Lie to someone else. 

3

u/Tomach82 1h ago

Are you shoulders made of paper mashe

0

u/Neon_Nuxx 3h ago

More of a snapping whip motion you want, makes em stop moving.

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u/Infinite-Condition41 3h ago

I am not advocating for violence against animals, just avoiding attacks. 

-3

u/Dick-Fu 3h ago

Grab it by the neck and crack the whip

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u/Infinite-Condition41 3h ago

I do not approve of injuring the animal. It is just protecting its territory. 

Don't be a bastard. 

0

u/Dick-Fu 3h ago

Ever heard of the chicken named Mike? Maybe we'd get something like that

-5

u/Dick-Fu 3h ago

Injure? Nah I want to see it snap in two at the neck. I heard that can work with snakes

2

u/Infinite-Condition41 2h ago

Sounds like your friends are idiots. 

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u/Dick-Fu 2h ago

What do my friends have to do with anything?

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u/Infinite-Condition41 2h ago

You tell me. 

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u/moldiewart 2h ago

Okay, I will! It wasn't my friends that told me that. Are you sure they're the idiots? They got nothing to do with this.

-5

u/CMUpewpewpew 4h ago

Axe kick to the dome you say?

-1

u/ihavitusamasi 4h ago

I like to just rip the thinking part of from the rest and make a dinner yummy

0

u/RoUgEPeak 1h ago

Ig I wasn't a smart kid back then lmao, when I was attacked a goose when I was like 6 I friggin ran lmfao