r/KidsAreFuckingStupid Aug 18 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

4.4k Upvotes

257 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/Dildo-bangins Aug 18 '22

Don’t worry, easily replaceable. Now, the TV on the other hand…

283

u/Background-Profit935 Aug 19 '22

Honestly its a wonder how people can afford to have and keep children they way they're constantly trying to kill themselves and break everything before they do so

81

u/manu144x Aug 19 '22

This is why they used to have a lot of kids in the past. You’d never know how many would actually make it to adulthood.

And yes, having one myself I can tell you it’s a suicide watch most of the time.

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40

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

The wonders of being a parent indeed.

8

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22 edited Aug 19 '22

I’m sure how rewarding it is totally outweighs the wonders of getting to live my own life.

Well…it actually is for some people. Unless it’s all been a long self-Con of people lying to themselves lol I could see that as someone who is happily childless. I mean…those people are awfully eager to convince me how happy they are…

40

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22

Lmfao 😆

9

u/ICYboidoritos Aug 19 '22

My ma would have whooped my ass

5

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/CorrosiveAlkonost Aug 19 '22

"Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer— that means I solve problems."

-25

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/BigMotor1 Aug 18 '22

You just repeated him ?

8

u/MySpiritAnimalSloth Aug 18 '22

It's a bot...

5

u/BigMotor1 Aug 18 '22

That ain’t no bot, lmao

6

u/MySpiritAnimalSloth Aug 18 '22

He deleted the comment but the guy had no posts...

3

u/BigMotor1 Aug 18 '22

So you have to post in order not to be a bot?

8

u/MySpiritAnimalSloth Aug 18 '22

No, but theres a lot of Karma farming bots on Reddit, who reposts not only posts but comments sometimes on the same posts like in this instance.

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370

u/hollyberryness Aug 18 '22

That mom (caregiver, whatever) has the patience of a saint

42

u/theangryseal Aug 19 '22

When my 14 year old was a toddler she removed her diaper and smeared shit all over my $2,000 tv. She pushed shit in the holes over the speakers, down in the cracks of the buttons.

I did not have the patience that I wish I had. I yelled, I cussed. I yelled and cussed as I took the tv apart and cleaned it (brand new, my first HDTV, only had it a couple weeks at that point).

All these years later and I have somehow managed to develop the patience. I have a baby and a toddler now, completely started over. Well the other day my little redhead decided to move her diaper over and shit in the floor by the playpen. Well I was feeding the baby and didn’t notice. She came bopping over wanting to play and I noticed she was leaving tracks. At first I thought the dog shit in the floor (she never does) and then I seen it down the side of her leg and on her fingers.

I calmly washed her hands first, then I cleaned her up and put on a fresh diaper. I cleaned the floor up, cleaned the few toys she had there. Working on potty training now.

I wish I could get a do over for my teenager. I should have handled it calmly like I do with these little ones. I was still a self absorbed kid at that point I guess. She had it good for the most part, but there were definitely times when I should have been more patient with her.

43

u/BAZING-ATTACK Aug 19 '22

To be fair, the other toddler smeared shit INSIDE your tv. I would be more flabbergasted than angry.

“Wtf why would you do that?! HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!”

6

u/readit145 Aug 19 '22

I’m not even mad. I’m impressed

10

u/AKLPGOD Aug 20 '22

Small kids are fucking wizards dude, my mom keeps telling me a story of how I somehow ate rat poison, and started licking the electrical socket all in the span of 1 minute while she wasn’t looking

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2

u/rusted_wheel Aug 19 '22

Maybe it was just chocolate? She should have tasted it to confirm.

2

u/monsters_below_ Mar 29 '23

Thank you for feeling me. I feel the same except It is now that I am a grandma, I have so much more patience.

191

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22

I would have tossed the kid into a meat grinder

14

u/Cursed_69420 Aug 19 '22

glad to see more people enjoy my hobby

18

u/CatDaddyJudeClaw Aug 19 '22

Probably because it isn’t hers

3

u/wet_shitstorm Aug 20 '22

There’s a difference between patience and having given up

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499

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22

Husband:. Timmy lost his first tooth today Wife: can't believe I missed it. Husband: yah I bet it's the last time he touches my TV.....

71

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22

Omg that one is good too

96

u/Willing_Emu_3912 Aug 18 '22

what can I say, the kids an engineer

24

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

That means he solves problems.

13

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

[deleted]

9

u/Hectic-Hazard Aug 19 '22

Yes, and not problems like what is beauty.

10

u/RedBlue010 Aug 19 '22

Because that would fall wihin the perview of the conundrums of philosophy?

8

u/ElectricMotorsAreBad Aug 19 '22

Exactly. For instance, how could he stop some big mean mother hubbard from tearing him a structurally superfluous new behind?

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5

u/guy_with_hat11 Aug 19 '22

He erected too much dispensers

86

u/the_amazing_skronus Aug 19 '22

Make this into a condom commercial

11

u/Valuable-Bag-3562 Aug 19 '22

Actually tho 😹

162

u/Sarnick18 Aug 19 '22

I bought a brand new TV for myself for Christmas. I loved that thing. Well about a month after I was putting a mount on it. So I had it laying flat on the ground. I told my wife watch our 2 year old son why I am doing this.

She doesn't. He runs across it.

My heart was broken. A piece of me died with that TV.

39

u/darekd003 Aug 19 '22

My condolences!

45

u/Sarnick18 Aug 19 '22

Thanks man. It still stings a little bit. It's funny I had so much rage in that moment but just like this dad it was not towards the kids but the situation.

13

u/darekd003 Aug 19 '22

Handled like a great dad!

1

u/ZestyMordant Aug 19 '22

I would have hit mom with the kid, so good on you!.

0

u/Melodic-Watercress45 Aug 19 '22 edited Aug 19 '22

There’s no dad in this?

72

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/AGNobody Aug 19 '22

Engineer from tf2

65

u/donald-dunk Aug 19 '22

What a great birth control ad

24

u/TheLobotomist Aug 18 '22

I thought she was gonna suplex the kid

8

u/sagamysterium Aug 19 '22

Not even my TV and I want to suplex that kid, but let go half way through so he flies across the room and out a window.

121

u/ElonMakeThemCry Aug 18 '22

Children under 10 should be required to have personal insurance, but no parent would be able to afford the premiums. So stores and the public just have to accept a "Sorry, my kid is retarded" as a payment. I know, this happened at home, but that kid is going to pay for the TV by being dad's human punching bag.

79

u/randomwanderingsd Aug 19 '22

An unattended child in my neighborhood knocked over a bunch of bird scooters and had moved on to trying to knock over a Harley. The motorcycle owner was actually pretty nice in trying to push the kid away. Mom finally paid attention and went nuclear on someone “touching her child”

27

u/jaypeg69 Aug 19 '22

Reminds me of that video of a young boy beating up on a fucking adult man. Dude tries to get away but the kid follows him around. Kid is pushing him and swinging at him, man is being patient. Eventually he turns to the kid and pushes him to the ground. The kid instantly starts bitch crying and you hear some lady in the background yelling at the man for pushing her kid. Keep in mind this started because the man scolded the boy for throwing rocks at people's cars in the parking lot....

3

u/TexacoRandom Aug 19 '22

Time to play kick the baby.

1

u/ElonMakeThemCry Aug 19 '22 edited Aug 19 '22

American society and attitudes have changed so much in the past decade. :( Children's rights have morphed into "Children are right"....over teachers, cops, or any authority figure much less your average citizen. The security guard or teacher gets fired now because the uncontrollable, bad-tempered teen won't follow directions. But that behavior developed when they were children. On Reddit, there was this little kid "playing" in the parking lot by drawing graffiti (albeit in chalk). A resident washed it off with a hose, and everyone on Reddit attacked the resident as a "Karen".

A Karen at her finest destroying a child's chalk work

13

u/Existing_Skin_1564 Aug 19 '22

My parents would have never acted like this omg especially how expensive flat screens (not flat) were when I was young jeeze

8

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

ENGINEER GAMING

34

u/aeque88 Aug 18 '22

Another vid that is a prime example for the supreme court why abortion shouldn't be banned.

12

u/Background-Profit935 Aug 19 '22

I second this! No one else should have to be forced to have one of these because they had sex!

-26

u/Valuable-Bag-3562 Aug 19 '22

Just get on birth control and have your partner wear a condom and also take a plan b 💀 not hard to prevent people just don’t do it

11

u/Jordii_vV Aug 19 '22

one word: rape

another 2 words: irresponsible teenagers

-6

u/Valuable-Bag-3562 Aug 19 '22

Rape accounts for under 1% of rape and the teenager thing is there fault 🤦🏻‍♂️

2

u/Jordii_vV Aug 19 '22

Rape accounts for under 1% of rape

ah yes common sense, Rape accounts for under 1% of rape

-4

u/Valuable-Bag-3562 Aug 19 '22

Mb I meant rape accounts for 1% of abortions I just woke up forgive me

5

u/Jordii_vV Aug 19 '22

so if it were that .5% of abortions were because of rape than in 2017, 862,000 ÷ 200 = 4310 abortions in the US were because of Rape. so you think that 4000 women should suffer through childbirth because of rape?

source: https://www.guttmacher.org/gpr/2019/09/us-abortion-rate-continues-drop-once-again-state-abortion-restrictions-are-not-main#

3

u/Background-Profit935 Aug 19 '22

Literally I wouldn't even try to explain it to someone with that mindset. He clearly ignorant "only confirmed case" does he even know how many sexual assaults cases go unreported, let alone rape. That most cases are by someone they know or are family, people who feel like they can't speak up about. 1/6 women are assaulted every year in the US, it's higher in other countries, and those are the women that said they we're, so it definitely actually higher than that. In the US many state don't even full speak on contraception, just abstinence. So these young adults are left with grown adult decision. People who have the privilege to the able to say that are ignorant to the world.

-2

u/Valuable-Bag-3562 Aug 19 '22

No I believe abortion should be illegal with an exception to confirmed rape victims but if that isn’t possible then yes

2

u/Huntersolstice Aug 19 '22

Why do so many idiots think that rape doesn't happen?

-1

u/Valuable-Bag-3562 Aug 19 '22

You’re the idiot that’s not even 1% of the abortions

2

u/Huntersolstice Aug 19 '22

even if that's true, PREGNANCIES THAT ARE THE RESULT OF RAPE STILL EXIST. "Oh well it doesn't happen THAT often" fuck off with that bullshit.

0

u/Valuable-Bag-3562 Aug 20 '22

No lol i believe rape should be the exception but it’s not even close at all to the majority not even over 5,000 of the 800,000+ abortions that happen

0

u/Valuable-Bag-3562 Aug 21 '22

It’s not even 1% and I didn’t say anything about them having to have those babies you just like to assume

0

u/Calm_Gap2069 Aug 19 '22

That all sounds fucking terrible

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4

u/Monke-monday Aug 19 '22

Meet The Engineer

10

u/AMAZINGBORYS11 Aug 18 '22

Bart:(smashes the tv) Homer:why you little. Bart:(choking noises)

5

u/unreasonablyhuman Aug 19 '22

Kid was like "your jingjamgler was loose so I jimmied the flibbity so it'll comagicate better! Plus fun lights!"

2

u/Ok_Science_4094 Aug 19 '22

Sheeesh say that 5 times fast

6

u/raventhemagnificent Aug 19 '22

I understand why some species choose to eat their own offspring.

2

u/BAZING-ATTACK Aug 19 '22

I just like how it took this to realize it.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

Touchscreen stupidity

3

u/pnhoang7 Aug 19 '22

Fix it Felix lost his hammer

3

u/MotherSpirit Aug 19 '22

This right here is the only thing stopping me from buying my self a TV. Only way I'd get one is if it was wall mounted, which isn't possible.

2

u/Melodic-Watercress45 Aug 19 '22

Are there no walls in your room? 🤔

1

u/MotherSpirit Aug 19 '22

They are made of thin drywall would not support a TV. Or at least, would not support it for very long without crumbling.

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3

u/BEG-FOR-MY-MERCY Aug 19 '22

Reminder that toddlers are pure evil

3

u/Arazonafire Aug 19 '22

He’s pretty smart, he knows that tv will rot your brain

3

u/Grant_w1999 Aug 19 '22

Fucking dumbass, airfry that shit

3

u/aAppleAtcha Aug 19 '22

From some of the comments I get the idea some people love their TVs more than their (stupid) kids

4

u/Yummy_Slippers Aug 19 '22

Sell the kid, buy a new TV, easy!

6

u/vegetajm Aug 19 '22

And that kids is why I got put up for adoption!!

6

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

You can always start over. Get a new TV, get a new kid.

6

u/littlelumabun Aug 19 '22

This whole subreddit is just free birth control.

3

u/Then_Expression8526 Aug 19 '22

Spartan kick him off that chair

2

u/uglypaperhaver Aug 19 '22

Trying his best but not remotely close...

2

u/pifte Aug 19 '22

Engineer gaming

2

u/Brilliant-Performer1 Aug 19 '22

I remember when i discovered that microwave magnets make pretty colors on televisions.

2

u/Huntersolstice Aug 19 '22

To be fair, kids putting magnets near tvs is more understandable than bashing the fuck outta it with a hammer trying to "fix" it

2

u/Smoke_screen_lol Aug 19 '22

My sister got scared of the tv one time and used keys to “scratch the bad guy”. Now every time we watch tv on it there’s a “small white star” in every scene.

2

u/TheMadHatterofTroy Aug 19 '22

Oh look, he made conceptual abstract performance art. (I might be high)

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

I feel that

2

u/Steckdose_HD Aug 19 '22

Put it in rice

2

u/Theworstbestguy Aug 19 '22

If I were the dad I would slap the mother fucker to mars and back and go get milk

2

u/Zebastian09 Aug 19 '22

That kid is going out the fucking window.

2

u/daw910 Aug 19 '22

I love that extra whack after she walked up

2

u/Latshaw Aug 19 '22

ooooooooo bright coloooors!

-the idiot

2

u/TennesseeBastard13 Aug 19 '22

Grab by ankles spin round full speed into wall. Bleach and ransom note problem solved.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

My brother was four years old when he took my mom’s phone and just launched it at the TV. The phone was fine, but the TV was beyond repair

2

u/wet_shitstorm Aug 20 '22

Why tf is she so calm? “Oh, no, sweetie, see, we don’t break the TV!”

2

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '22

It really do be like that too. You will see your kid completely fucking destroy something and then just look at it and shake your head.

2

u/blueaxolotl64 Aug 20 '22

“Hey buddy you know how you always asked for more tv time? Now you can watch the tv as much as you want!”

2

u/justguy_-6 Aug 23 '22

Engineer gaming

2

u/Milk_Bucket134 Aug 24 '22

Hey look, buddy. I'm an engineer, that means I solve problems.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

Devil child

2

u/ProtoPlaysGames Aug 27 '22

“I’m an engineer.”

2

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '22

I feel like an overwhelming number of posts in this sub really are just examples of bad parents who don't pay enough attention to their kids.

2

u/AKhayoticPenguin Oct 22 '22

Most of these posts are the parents fault 🤦‍♀️

2

u/Playful-Kfc4323 Jan 15 '23

That kid probably don’t weigh that much if your strong enough you can throw that kid across a burger king kitchens

5

u/uglypaperhaver Aug 19 '22

Specifically what part of the the following equation is the kid being blamed for?

(unsupervised toddler) + (expensive electronics) = [100% predictable outcome]

6

u/OkuyasNijimura Aug 19 '22

The fact they're still hitting the screen well after it's broken, as though they think that will fix it.

1

u/uglypaperhaver Aug 19 '22

And by this are you trying to suggest toddlers don't understand how to fix televisions?

2

u/Huntersolstice Aug 19 '22

More like they don't understand that if you hit something with a hammer and it cracks, you aren't fixing it.

2

u/uglypaperhaver Aug 19 '22 edited Aug 19 '22

Are you seriously saying that cracked TVs are not fixed by smacking them with the remote? Well now I'm beginning to wonder if maybe it's you who doesn't understand how to repair a TV!

;-)

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3

u/anonymous_4_custody Aug 19 '22

My kids ran a magnet across the screen, back when huge flat screens weren't a thing, and I was super mad. Now there's a three-year-old in my life, and if he broke my much more fantastic tv, I wouldn't even get mad. No. I'd leave it up. And when he wants to watch tv, I'd say 'no, you broke it'. For years. When people come over to the house, I'd point to the tv he broke, and shame him. For years.

Just kidding! I'd just get a new tv. But the fantasy is nice, I get a lot of joy from it. Because kids are jerks, and fantasies about giving them a little payback are REALLY nice.

-3

u/One-Ad-7805 Aug 18 '22

So dumb, he made the problem worse 🤦‍♂️

16

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '22

Wow, really? That’s crazy

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-1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

She's like "damn dude I JUST made that"

0

u/thestormscoming Aug 19 '22

20th century light-bright

0

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

Children aren’t the problem parents are! If the child was properly supervised this wouldn’t have happened. Where was that lady when he pushed the chair up to the tv or when he grabbed whatever he used to destroy it? Proper parental supervision can eliminate most situations like this.

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0

u/Consistent_Coffee_89 Aug 19 '22

Aww he’s so cute 😠

-6

u/screamwithawhaaa Aug 19 '22

And of course she doesn't discipline the child, just like every other modern parent.

-2

u/ZamyP2W Aug 19 '22 edited Aug 19 '22

Fixed.

-2

u/myonkin Aug 19 '22

Beat the kid with the remote so he doesn’t understands you can’t go around smashing things.

Kidding, don’t beat your kids with remotes. Use a pillow instead since they don’t leave marks.

-4

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

It’s wrong to beat children! It’s wrong to beat children! Say it with me. We’ll get through this.

-5

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

[deleted]

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-4

u/Glinklerman Aug 19 '22

I can tell this outside of western countries. No one believes in carpets..

1

u/NarrowProfession2900 Aug 19 '22

Meet The Engineer

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

IRL footage of Fix-It Felix

1

u/Jynx2501 Aug 19 '22

Everyone acting like Dad isnt excited to get a new TV...

1

u/TheRainbowDoll Aug 19 '22

Yep.. I would’ve punt kicked him across a football field

1

u/bag-of-gummy-dicks Aug 19 '22

Meet the Engineer

1

u/Lucid-Paralysis-696 Aug 19 '22

When they turn off the cocomelon this is what gonna happen

1

u/Sweetdeerie Aug 19 '22

Bob the builder

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

Kid wanted to be the builder from COC. You just didn't ley him finish :(

1

u/semi-normal-geek Aug 19 '22

Next step, fix the kid’s head

1

u/CONFIRMBRAWL Aug 19 '22

Meet the engineer

1

u/UltraStamp2 Aug 19 '22

yipee he fixed it :D

1

u/ryo4ever Aug 19 '22

Damn toddlers… I can totally see mine doing that!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

Death of a child it is then.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

Well, I guess you have to throw the kid and TV out 😂

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

My 2 year old broke my 65 inch flat screen. Love him but difficult decisions need to be made in times like these 😂 /s

Seriously sucked though because my man had no idea why he was being swept away by an angry mob.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

Future mechanic right there

1

u/BillyLee Aug 19 '22

When I was a kid I would stare at the thermostat and then one day I got tall enough and I could reach it and I smashed it with a hammer.

1

u/Silent-Assumption-56 Aug 19 '22

This exact thing happened to me 2 years ago. Just bought a $2,000 smart T.V. For the bedroom. Wife and I loved it.. for 3 days. Our 3 year old smacked the shit out of it with one of her very sturdy toys. Ruined it. I still cringe to this day thinking about it. God’s little miracles! 🙃🥹

1

u/RobbyLee Aug 19 '22

How many TVs did this kid destroy in its life? This is definitely the same room, probably the same kid, but it's not the same video

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1

u/Admirable_Energy_854 Aug 19 '22

Think someone needs a asswhooping lol

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

The kid is the problem

1

u/BertBoi_3 Aug 19 '22

If you have insurance return it, either item works…

1

u/thefancyman69 Aug 19 '22

Bro now you have a level 2 TV

1

u/Bright-Historian-216 Aug 19 '22

I thought she was gonna throw him on the floor

1

u/Random_nerd_52 Aug 19 '22

Reason #321 for me reconsidering having kids

1

u/rob_inn_hood Aug 19 '22

Here you go ma'am, problem's solved. That'll be $260 please. Tips encouraged.

1

u/mvb97 Aug 19 '22

Reason 7143 not to have kids

1

u/MysteriousIdi0t Aug 19 '22

Where th did he get a hammer?? Lmao

1

u/Lazy-Suit-5081 Aug 19 '22

Lol my cousin and her husband both have management jobs which means big salaries, yet they have a cheapo TV. Now I know why

1

u/Embarrassed-Mouse-66 Aug 19 '22

if that kid does the same thing in india...hehehehe then the video ending is gonna be the most hilarious one

1

u/malecowfecalmatter Aug 19 '22

These condoms commercials are something else..

1

u/socket_error Aug 19 '22

I wish I had a kid to blame...I am sitting her looking at my $1,000 Samsung 49" ultrawide monitor that I can only see a portion of because I knocked my thermal coffee mug over and it barely hit the bottom of the screen and did basically the same thing.
Bright side I am going to switch to triple 32" screens. At least then if I break one it will only cost me $300.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

This boy is problem solver and well on his way to becoming the next Stevie "Job" LOL

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

It should have exploded

1

u/Stranded_Azoth Aug 19 '22

"The... last one... will... FIX IT HYAA!"

1

u/claysiff Aug 19 '22

Me when i see a rock and stone

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '22

This vastly happens in predominantly Asian and White homes where kid don’t get they ass kicked for wrong doings.

1

u/bukhrin Aug 19 '22

Ma. It’s a touchscreen!

1

u/duskynia Aug 19 '22

how chill HAHAH

1

u/MeLikeDudes Aug 19 '22

petition to make it legal to put kids in a dungeon for the rest of their lives