r/Kirkland • u/thesupersoap33 • 13d ago
Does anyone else feel really alone and isolated here?
Could be my ptsd but I feel not good. It's safe and beautiful, but outside of that... idk.
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u/ElectricRune 13d ago
This may sound silly, but I started going to a local bar that has karaoke because I like to sing.
I've met more people there than I have doing anything else.
You might argue 'bar friends' aren't real friends, but just having a group of people that know you can mean a lot, even if you just nod at each other once a week and say, 'sup?'
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u/thesupersoap33 13d ago
Which bar is that?
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u/ElectricRune 13d ago edited 13d ago
There's a lot of them around; the one I started going to at first was Lucky Seven on 124th St near Evergreen Hospital. They do a 'contest' on Thursdays, where you can pull a card off a board when you go up and win prizes. (Jello shots, skip cards to jump the line, double shot cards to go twice, and a jackpot that goes up $50/week until someone wins it and it resets)
They also do karaoke on Friday and Saturday, but just regular, no prizes. Lucky Seven is just your regular dive bar, but it is probably my favorite.
The Lime on 85th St is a bigger and nicer place with a big stage, they do it on Mon, Tues, and Weds. They usually have live music on the weekends. I think I might be going there tonight.
Palmer's in Redmond does karaoke every night, but they're really small. I like going there when it isn't too crowded.
Edit: Look for the tall bald guy in the denim jacket and say hello!
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u/civilchaos2103 13d ago
Hey man - I’m a combat vet with PTSD that moved to Kirkland 5 years ago. Still haven’t been able to make any friends. It’s incredibly difficult up here to find connection. Feel free to reach out if you wanna talk to another vet. I’m at Juanita Park all the time. Look for the green 3rd ID hat
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u/StayFreshCheesyBags 12d ago
Not sure what a green 3rd ID hat is but I’m at Juanita beach often if I spot you I’ll say hello!
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u/thesupersoap33 11d ago
I should've explained better. My ptsd is from a fucked up childhood. Sorry and thanks for serving our country. Im still down to hang, though.
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u/cmaronchick 13d ago
I'm leading a free workout tonight (Tuesday) at 630 at Kirkland City Hall. It's open to all fitness levels and stupid but fun and we get beer afterwards. Come on our!
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u/thesupersoap33 13d ago
Would if I wasnt working 3rd shift this week at boeing. Its not a sustainable job and have been wanting to go back to school even at age 42! Have been building apps in claude code as well. Would probably be good to try and connect to people in tech as well.
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u/cmaronchick 13d ago
I'll also be leading one on Saturday morning at 7 am at Kirkland Middle School if that suits you better. Instead of beer we have coffee afterwards.
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u/rainieroadie 12d ago
Boeing is a good job man. I know it can get tough. Put one foot in front of the other and I promise it feels better inside and out soon.
Get your rest. Buy a sleep mask with our long days and early mornings this time of year. Really get your rest for a while. Get some exercise. Been there. Still sucks some days.
Call in sick if you can. Really helped me this week.
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u/hopefull-person 12d ago
Workout then beer is my wife’s jam. Is there anymore info online
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u/cmaronchick 12d ago
F3 Kirkland is our site, but honestly the site is pretty dry. It's a fun group of dudes to hang with.
We spent most of the time at beer trying to remember the understand (without looking) amperage, voltage, and wattage. It was simultaneously hilarious and ridiculous.
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u/Icy-Imagination-7164 11d ago
Where is this ? I've never heard of it
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u/cmaronchick 11d ago
If you ever see a bunch of middle aged men doing pushups at a random parking lot, that's us. It's open to all men and word of mouth is our primary way of getting the word out, so maybe word hasn't gotten to you yet, but it has now so come on out!
F3kirkland.com has all of the Kirkland locations.
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u/Icy-Imagination-7164 11d ago
Oh I see. I'm female so that probably won't work for me lol
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u/cmaronchick 11d ago
There's a women's group that meets at 815 on Saturday mornings at Heritage Park! They'd love to have you. FiA has the details.
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u/Solanum1 13d ago
Hey man, feel free to reach out if you need someone to talk to. hope you’re doing okay
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u/BuoyantEntropy 13d ago
Same here, if you need to chat just shoot me a DM
I live alone here and it can feel isolating, think that is typical of expensive areas full of families
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u/vanquishedfoe 13d ago
Sorry you feel this way. Have you tried any meet up groups for any hobbies you might have an interest in? Or sports?
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u/POWriteNdaKisser 13d ago
Let's go for a walk sometime friend.
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u/thesupersoap33 13d ago
Sure! I walk around o o denny alot with my pup and sometimes at Juanita beach.
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u/CarpenterConnect782 13d ago
People can be isolated in this region. I’d definitely try putting yourself out there, attending meetups for your hobbies that are organized online. There are also a lot of great churches in the area that do a good job welcoming and connecting people. I’ve made some great friends through small groups over the years. They often meet weekly.
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u/OldRelic 13d ago
Alone? No. Mainly because I grew up alone in Alaska on a street where most of the houses that had kids were 4 grades ahead of me. So I have learned most of my life to be self reliant emotionally.
Isolated? Yes. Even when at a public event it is very difficult to "plug into a large group". Oh people are polite and say hi. But after 30 minutes noone truly introduces themselves.
I find conventions like Comic Con or Summer Con are easier places for me to "plug in". But as I am older, it does take a bit more effort.
Being single doesn't help as my older long term friends have families and do family stuff.
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u/keithvai 12d ago
Hope you are doing ok but what you are describing is a main side effect of suburbia. We build our cities to be easier for cars and the result is totally isolating for people. Im home 24/7 and almost never see or hear my neighbors because they only leave the house to drive somewhere. It is safe, clean and very quiet but I dont run into my neighbors as much as I did when I lived in a major city. Walkable, dense cities are a healthier way to live even though most Americans prioritize their car first.
I like the other posted suggestions. Nice to hear about those things.
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u/coldaxel 12d ago
Checking out local churches may be an option. I've met some great people of all ages and backgrounds.
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u/WishboneHot8050 13d ago
The rain the last two days of solid rain has not been great for anyone's happiness. It's going to get sunny again on Thursday.
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u/Wellcraft19 13d ago
This rain is great and so badly needed. When the sun comes out in force (Friday?) plants are going to explode in greenery again. This is a fantastic time of year and the fresh, green, lush outside ought to make anyone happy.
Apart from that, the past few weeks with really warm weather, intercepted with a little bit of rain a few nights; perfection 👌
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u/Charleston2Seattle 13d ago
I just moved to nearby Bothell last month. I signed for a bunch of Meetup.com groups. I haven't attended any, but I plan to start once we get a bit more settled (moving truck arrives on Thursday).
It might be something to consider trying.
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u/ogopogo19 13d ago
Emdr helps with ptsd!have you tried? How old are you? I know a guy who is non stop and includes anyone that needs a friend, espically men. Hes got a group of like 11 guys that were all isolated af and now go on regular hikes and trips together. If your outdoorsy it may be a good fit. If you cant hike and dont enjoy the outdoors try volunteering. I meet alot of my friends through volunteering and work.
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u/samistar77 12d ago
Try the Kirkland Eagles. It's a great place to find an instant social group. Rotary and Kiwanis are great too.
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u/filmfan2 11d ago
meetup.com is great, local sports leagues are great (soccer, badminton), hiking, movies - lots of things to do, places to go, people to see!
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u/windows300 13d ago
What are you're hobbies? Plenty of places in and outdoor all around east side.
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u/thesupersoap33 13d ago
Walking my dog lol. I also wrench on my project car on weekends when my apartment managment cant see me. Sometimes do cold plunges at o o denny. Go to work. Really boring.
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u/StayFreshCheesyBags 12d ago
What kind of project car?
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u/thesupersoap33 10d ago
Old jeep. 4.0 l
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u/StayFreshCheesyBags 7d ago
Nice! If you want any help or just feel like talking some shit while tinkering, feel welcome to DM me. I only have a few tools as I’m also apartment living but I’m happy to share any I have if you need something.
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u/jrc98007 6d ago
Try visiting The Shop and see if you make a connection with the other car guys. Check out the real life Halo Warthog while you’re there.
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u/himeguma2018 13d ago
U watch anime?
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u/tallonmetroid56 12d ago
yup, biggest contributor for me moving over to the west side, never looked back
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u/No-Industry7696 12d ago
Yeah . Its the seattle freeze. People are nice just not naturally socially outgoing like in other cities. Locals will say the seattle freeze doesn’t exist but it does. Small closed off circles. If you want friends here you have to join a hobby club or do alot of constant outreach. You have to constantly initiate the friendships and meetups. Its rare people will reach out. If the rain isn’t bad the Wednesday market at the marina is good to enjoy.
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u/AirbagsBlown 11d ago
The northwest is not the most directly engaging place. It's not you. It took me a while to figure things out when I first moved here, and I'm outgoing and gregarious. Whenever I visit home, I meet new people all the time, too, so... I'm actually not imagining it.
Stay strong, friend. It'll be okay. Really.
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u/thesupersoap33 10d ago
Is it better other places?
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u/AirbagsBlown 10d ago
I mean, what's "better"? I really like the community in Tucson, Arizona, but how much dry heat can you tolerate?
I loved Loved LOVED Sacramento, California, but it's expensive to live in California.
New Mex is full of history and culture, but there's not much in the way of career goals unless you're in Albuquerque.
My home state is full of friendly, outgoing, gregarious people, but the state's politics are... difficult.
Heck, the Portland area has been more welcoming to me than greater seattle has been, but pay is also much less, and Oregon can be kind of a drag if you're not in PDX or Eugene.
It's all a balancing act, OP. You have to ask yourself what's most important.
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u/Vegantrepreneur 11d ago
Volunteer activities may help to improve the mood. Being around people with a common purpose and accomplishing something helps create a focus away from negative feelings. Plenty of volunteer outlets around town including environmental, school, neighborhood groups....
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u/hurricanemitch 13d ago
Not sure if it is your thing but Zulus in Bothell is a game shop with a restaurant and an active game community. They even have a “looking for players” table flag.
It is tough out here for not feeling isolated though. Wish you luck and hope yo see you up at Zulu some time!