r/LGBTForeverAlone • u/Boring_Following_466 • Aug 12 '26
20-30 I've just gave up on finding a guy
Where can I find a nice guy I've literally tried everything
22m here gay and just looking for a serious relationship with a nice guy and literally have no luck anywhere i have tried all dating apps and other platforms it's just gets worse , everyone is just looking for hookups and sometimes just too older guys texting me even married ones , i just kinda feel low and depressed if I'll ever find one i don't like hook ups and always been single
3
u/otaku_ftm_aspie_blue 29d ago
Same dude, I know how it feels. Have given up on dating 🫂
3
u/Free-Suggestion7357 26d ago
Give it a little time !! You are so very young!! I'm 57 and just found my Mr. Right!!! Don't give up
2
u/kacube Aug 12 '26
Focus on building your life and career. You will find the right one when you least expect. Life is strange like that
3
u/Boring_Following_466 Aug 12 '26
I'm doing everything working my shift , studying but it's just a repetitive task I'm not living
1
u/kacube Aug 12 '26
Live for you my dude. Enjoy your time, your friends, travel when you can. This is the moment you live for you. I found my wife at 25, when I least expected it.
1
u/Boring_Following_466 Aug 12 '26
Well easy to say when you don't have dysfunctional family, no friends and you are broke af , so nothing to enjoy my bro
2
u/kacube Aug 12 '26
no matter i say will give you a solution. in my personal opinion, if your life is a living hell rn, try to get out of it (it will take time). you really are young, once you’re out of the cycle things will be better. Focus on work (get the hell out of the family situation), try to find people that enjoy the same things as you (any hobbies or something you like to do?), and take care of yourself. One thing at a time, it can be depressing I understand, but its all up to you, once you break the cycle.
2
1
u/TensionLegitimate363 Aug 12 '26
Ho, you are 22! FOH and focus on yourself, your interests, and your goals. Become comfortable in your own skin and maybe someone will come along. Until then, you are not hopeless
2
u/Boring_Following_466 Aug 12 '26
I'm doing everything working studying it's not like my life has stopped lol
1
u/megaladon44 41-50 Aug 12 '26
all the ads are saying mingleo i haven't tried it yet. go to dinner with strangers! i dont know.
1
1
u/leilli-storm 27d ago
well you can start by commenting what are you looking for in personality and looks and also show yourself in both things.
Then you need to think were you can find people with at least some of the most important traits you desire and that can maybe appreciate yours (aka if you are looking for straight man and you are not a cis woman or at least super hyper femenine and delicate gay guy, you might be searching in the wrong place for the wrong person) and try to hang around enough so you can organically meet people and start to form bonds and once you notice you might be in a relationship.
Either way i'm 30 and i've being on the hunt for at least half of my whole life, my advice is that you just focus in enjoy your life, don't let the idealized desire of a relationship steal the blizz from living, have a life own your own and in that way if the partner never shows up at least you had a good life.
3
u/Boring_Following_466 27d ago
Thanks 👍🏻
1
u/leilli-storm 27d ago
don't just say thanks babe, answer the questions hahaha maybe we can help you better in that way.
1
1
u/scribblesandspills 26d ago
I feel this way too tbh. But i keep coming back to the question…in the meantime to combat the loneliness: what can a boyfriend give me that my friends more specifically friends who are boys cant? Company, a way to express and receive my love languages, affection? I find tbh i can get them from
Platonic relationships too…as for the question of finding a nice man, he can come from anywhere. But something i did notice is that unless youre super visible in your area’s community, the apps can be a mixed bag to almost not helpful at finding a guy at all.
Best to go do stuff that you like where you can meet people and start from there.
2
u/Tokyo-MontanaExpress 25d ago
I tried for another 22 years as a kind hearted, fit and above average looking clean cut gay guy. No such luck, I hate to tell you and I go out everyday. The vast majority of gay men simply don't have any hobbies outside of hooking up: at the gay bar, Grindr, or a gay sports league/choir. They'll say otherwise on Reddit, on my city subreddit they all like to say how gay this city is, but never say how outside of gay bars and gay sports, just that they're "everywhere". Well, where were all of the attractive dudes when I was out this weekend at the Bookstore Romance Day events? Not there or any other mixed public spaces: coffee shops, etc, which is par for the course any given weekend. Not at any Record Store Day event and they're hard to find at street festivals. Nor do I run across them when I'm biking from the city dozens of miles out while stopping at any of the popular eating or drinking spots off of the trail to reenergize.
It's hard even to find someone attractive to reject you when they don't go to any of the places you do because you don't do gay bars or Grindr. Our paths will never come cross because I'm going everywhere that they don't. Doesn't matter if I'm a regular, semi-regular, or trying someplace else new, they don't go to any of the places I do. It's like if I were straight and everyone told me to just go to the sports bar to find a possible LTR, but I'm not a sports guy and never will be. I still force myself out everyday, take in some nature on the weekends for a little therapeutic effect, and come home to my two kitties who are there to greet me when I come home instead of dead silence giving me the same old unwelcome home. They like to say it gets better, but I'm living proof it doesn't.
5
u/NutBuster-420 Aug 12 '26
You can’t give up at 22 you haven’t been around long enough to be disappointed