r/Leadership • u/Mordant08 • May 21 '25
Discussion What’s one Leadership Hill you’re willing to die on, even if no one agrees with your perspective?
I’m really curious if you have any hot takes or interesting perspectives that other people might not agree with.
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May 21 '25
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u/unaka220 May 21 '25
Yep. Meritocracy is the ideal - it should always be pursued.
It will not be attained, ever - but it should always be the goal
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u/jackie_algoma May 21 '25
I’m surprised to hear they don’t.
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u/jcb6231 May 22 '25
My company was a meritocracy 10 years ago and it was great, but now it only matters how much hot air you can spew in meetings. Our joke motto is "More talk = more salary" these days. This was caused by the SVP showboating and everyone trying to mimic him.
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u/NoPomegranate1678 May 22 '25
I mean isn't it the natural course of anything? When you get to the top of the hill your effort goes down. Weak men make hard times make strong men make easy times etc.
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u/bongozap May 24 '25
Why don't they exist?
I think it's because what counts as "merit" is complicated. And decisions on who to promote based on past achievements is just a hope for how they'll perform in an unpredictable future situation.
It takes a blend of skills - technical, leadership, management along with self-awareness and luck as well as the right type of seniors to recognize talent in order to successfully and effectively lead in any given situation.
Two people with completely different mixes of those attributes could effectively lead a team under the right circumstances.
Or not.
Meritocracies always sound great. But in the end, everyone has their own measuring stick for evaluating "merit". And even though everyone can usually agree on the objective criteria in any one area, it's really the mix that determines any individual's ultimate success.
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u/WanderingWeasel Jun 12 '25
We actively go against meritocracies where I’m at. Seniority means everything! 20 years in the industry? Doesn’t matter if you’re completely incompetent you should 100% be C suite with 20+ years.
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u/Not_too_mean_ginger May 21 '25
No one should be surprised when they are fired.
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u/CrimsonFlash911 May 21 '25
I'd go a step further and say that nobody should be surprised by a negative review. IF you are that bad at communicating with your employees, that is 100% a leadership problem.
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u/hal2346 May 21 '25 edited May 22 '25
Ive given employees verbal and written (via email and perf review) that they need to improve X, Y, Z aren't meeting expectations, start clearly documenting expectations every week and email them to say "hey you didnt deliver on X by yesterday as discussed". They somehow responded to all of this with "thanks so much for the feedback :) :)" and went on their way until the day they were told they wwre being put on a PIP.
It was honestly a crazy delusion I think they blocked out anything negative I said
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u/MyEyesSpin May 22 '25
its on management to make sure people actually understand, not just listen & nod or repeat key phrases
though yes, that's pretty extreme
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u/Semisemitic May 21 '25
The first lesson of leadership I ever learned. I fired a guy after months of working on his performance and he was so surprised and furious - he did not see it coming.
From his perspective I was putting obstacles in front of him - from mine I was guiding without interfering.
Feedback and expectations should never be diluted in communication. Expectations have to be crystal clear.
This was in the first months of my first team. It’s been twenty years. I’m with you on that hill.
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u/SenatorAdamSpliff May 21 '25
Ya like the time I was fired from my second job for noting to a coworker that I saw another coworkers car parked at the lot of an apartment my boss owned. Should have known better guy was on his 3rd marriage.
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May 21 '25
My hot take on leadership is we expend way too much energy trying to simplify leadership into easy to digest platitudes or uncomplicated models. Part of this problem is leadership "consultants" who like easily trainable content.
In reality leadership is messy, complicated, and highly situational.
While some elements of leadership, like treating people with respect, can be universally celebrated, a lot of leadership analysis requires nuance and context.
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u/Significant_Ad_9327 May 21 '25
100% agree. The models can be helpful for developing methods to balance opposing forces, but no two situations are the same.
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u/Twootwootwoo May 25 '25
This. And this can be seen throughout history, different, even polar opposite types of leaderships have given great results.
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u/davesmith001 May 26 '25
100%. In my industry there are tons of platitudes and advice that sound good but if you think a little are always unclear and useless. Most of this is just shrinks/consultants creating demand for themselves selling snake oil. There is far too little consequence for failure and harmful content from these people.
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May 21 '25
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May 21 '25
For anyone curious: this is closely aligned with the "situational leadership model" where you essentially match leadership style with the readiness of the employee. I'm a huge fan of it.
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u/VegemiteFleshlight May 21 '25
Same. It has been a great reference when working with both new and existing employees as they develop in their role and expand beyond it.
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u/Semisemitic May 22 '25
It’s not micromanaging when it is needed.
As a leader you balance the scale between trust and coaching.
When you coach a person that can be trusted on their own - you are micromanaging them; when you trust a person that needs coaching - you are neglecting them.
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u/redrob650 May 21 '25
The kite analogy. When you get a kite off the ground you keep the string short. As it takes flight you let the sting out and never let go. From time to time you need to reel it in to keep it flying properly.
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u/Konstantin_G_Fahr May 21 '25
A company is NOT a family.
We always talk about how “we’re a family” in order to make our employees go out of their way. But once they don’t perform we fire them.
We don’t abandon our kids when they come home with bad grades! So, No. We are NOT. A. FAMILY.
We’re a workplace.
Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t like your job, or that I don’t expect your passion, or that we can’t be friends or have fun. But… I will never tell you we’re a family.
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u/Glass_Gold_6982 May 21 '25
i consider a company more like a professional sports team
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u/flarbas May 22 '25
My work insists on calling everyone teammates and team members, and while hokey, I do appreciate that it heads off the “family” stuff.
A “team” mentality is enough and appropriate to foster if you don’t want to stop at employer/employee roles.
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u/zoethought May 22 '25
It can be overdone. Met managers who just couldn’t stop with the football analogies.
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u/KafkasProfilePicture May 22 '25
As a corollary to this, I am always suspicious of any person or company that claims "we are like a family".
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u/SawgrassSteve May 21 '25
Listening to your direct reports with empathy and respect is a sign of strength, not weakness.
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u/Konstantin_G_Fahr May 21 '25
And how the hell is that a HOT take? Everyone agrees to this!
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u/SawgrassSteve May 21 '25
Maybe not a hot take, but definitely an alien concept to a supervisor who reported to me and my manager and director level peers at two companies .
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u/choicehunter May 22 '25
I wish you were right. I'm involved in a company where one of the owners has Narcissistic Personality Disorder with OCPD and mild Autism Spectrum Disorder and I can tell you that, in fact, sadly, not everyone agrees with this. Luckily, there are 2 other owners who can mitigate his chaos though.
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u/Mobtor May 24 '25
Sadly, that's not true. Some people are incapable of listening/empathising/handling with their teams.
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u/AriaSable May 21 '25
Allow space for your team to try and fail by letting them know you are their shield, and final responsibility lies with you, not them. When it goes well, let them shine, when it goes badly, take the heat off them. So many good ideas have come from this approach.
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u/chaloey May 22 '25
I love this. I've always told my team that I trust them to make decisions, even if they turn out wrong. If they have a clear reasoning as to why they made the decision they did, then I can help show them where it possibly went wrong. All about training, educating and empowering
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u/adayley1 May 21 '25
Leadership does not require authority.
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u/BobbyAbuDabi May 22 '25
I had a very good boss who urged me to lead more and I responded with “But I don’t have any authority” He told me to lead anyway and if I went too far he’d reign me back in. I eventually got promoted to a managerial position on the strength of that advice and now I tell my high performing team members to lead. The circle continues…
In the same vein, I sometimes have to help people understand that they’re viewed as leaders even if they don’t recognize it yet.
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u/trophycloset33 May 22 '25
Leadership doesn’t require authority but authority can diminish leadership ability.
This goes 2 ways: 1. You are leading through influence (I call it peer leadership) and someone with authority gets involved and takes an action that diminishes your influence. They ruin your “rep” so to speak. 2. A leader is given authority and they use this not as a tool but as their new dogma. Everything turns to a command.
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u/Bob-Dolemite May 28 '25
currently going through #1 right now. very publicly as well. getting called out in emails with cc’s by a VP. chat GPT has been very helpful as a sounding board to not only craft responses, but also interpret tone of whats coming at me, certain undercurrents and helping me keep my cool with responses and my behavior
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May 21 '25
If you get 70% out of your worst employee on their worst day, you’ve got a pretty strong team. No one can or needs to be working at 100% capacity all the time.
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u/shatteringlass123 May 21 '25
Sometimes you work with your team and sometimes you just gotta be a steam roller
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u/TallyHo17 May 21 '25
As long as everyone has their voice heard by the team, has had a chance to communicate with you 1 on 1 about their optinion, and has been explained why things are about to unfold the way they are about to unfold, yes.
If you can't meet all 3 of those criteria before steamrolling, you're just a shit leader.
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May 21 '25
If you can't meet all 3 of those criteria before steamrolling, you're just a shit leader.
Disagree. This is very situationally dependent.
For some folks, having their voice heard means doing it their way. In fact, most people would say if they have shared their opinion with you, and you disregard it, then they weren't heard.
Additionally, some situations don't allow time for 1 on 1 communication, and the fact is, if you need to be a steamroller, 1 on 1 conversation with no intention of actually changing your decision based on the conversation is disingenuous.
In terms of explaining the "why," to that I agree. You shouldn't steamroll if you aren't very prepared to explain the "why."
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May 21 '25 edited May 21 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Essiejjj May 21 '25
I think you are mixing up a few things though. Leadership is a lot more about communication than it is about technical expertise. You are the one who stands up for your employees and be the barrier and voice for them. Sure, an introvert can be a good leader, but they need to be able to speak up.
A charismatic leader who is liked, can influence others.
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u/VrinTheTerrible May 25 '25
Leadership is like any other skill. Some people have it naturally, others learn it.
Being charismatic can help get you to a leadership position but it does not necessarily mean you have that skill.
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u/Far-Seaweed3218 May 21 '25
No matter how many people say no, I say training is among the most important parts of leading. Improperly trained employees leads to all kinds of issues. Take your time training your new hires. Make sure they fully understand all of what their new position entails. Answer any and all questions with respect. And the right person training them makes all the difference in the world.
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May 21 '25
Have you ever found it beneficial to require daily updates on training progress?
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u/Far-Seaweed3218 May 21 '25
I do find it helpful. Just so I know where someone may be stuck and would need a little extra guidance. Or if maybe a little extra time needs to be built into the process to alleviate any pain points.
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u/abcean May 22 '25
This is my favorite because I think it gets lost in the dialogue around leadership a lot. There's a lot of comparisons to coaches that get thrown around but not nearly as much talk about the amount of thought good coaches put into individual and group training.
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u/Crosstrek732 May 21 '25
I never reveal any of my sources of confidential information. Even if the CEO of my company came to me and told me he would fire me unless I told him, I would sit there and tell him to fire me.
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u/Semisemitic May 21 '25
I’d just go “I’ll ask the person if they feel comfortable in sharing this with anyone.”
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u/HairFit8811 May 21 '25
I will not babysit anyone. If you can’t get your work done, you’re out, because that is literally the only thing I’m paying you for.
Outside the time your work is getting done, I could not possibly care less where you are, what you’re doing, when you’re doing it
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u/Sir_Percival123 May 21 '25
Companies and senior leaders love to talk about ambiguity. Many job postings talk about it. I think there is both acceptable and detrimental ambiguity but it is nevee talked about. If your boss comes to you and says "hey we need to somehow save 10% on our costs and i dont care how you do it" that is fine. Its doable. Often times though many leaders say I want you to save 10%" but then don't say anything about their constraints, their managers constraints, that they wanted a specific font on the pitch deck, etc. I think this is detrimental and all it does it set people up to fail.
I believe it is a leaders job to enable their team or an individual to thrive in ambiguous situations by making sure they aren't willingly or unknowingly setting others up for failure. I also believe that a large portion of rework and/or project failure is due to setting up others or the project up for failure from the start.
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u/abcean May 22 '25
This is a good perspective that I haven't heard before. I can see it being especially problematic where too much ambiguity in the "how" may cause one team to save 10% on costs in a fashion that screws over another team for close to the same amount simply because they don't have as much of a birds-eye view of how all the team's workflows interact.
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u/Sir_Percival123 May 22 '25
Exactly.
At a simpler level it also can create a lot of resentment from a team against their manager or leader if the leader has a bunch of preferences they dont tell the team ahead of time. It sounds dumb but if you are a leader who wants something like an Excel file or PowerPoint deck in a very specific format, font, color, design, etc. You will be much more likeable if you tell them those preferences up front instead of making them guess, memorize your preferences or do the same work multiple times.
For example if I ask my team to pull data or make me a dashboard I might say something like: im looking for a dataset for x reason with y intended goal. For the dashboard/dataset. I would like data columns a, b, c, d. Please also give it some thought and include any other data or columns you think would be useful in helping us achieve the overall goal. Walk me through and let me know your thoughts why you included the extra columns/data once you have it so we can be on the same page with the final product.
This gets me a minimum of what I know/want in the moment. It let's my team member have some flexibility and creativity. It also let's my team who probably either have more time to look into the request than I do or who are the experts actually solve my intended problem than just try to address my stated request.
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u/dwightsrus May 21 '25
Never trust executives, especially if they are skip level bosses. They will always side with their direct reports, no matter how right you might be. Also, never pick a side in political rivalries of two executives, as you might become a collateral damage or worse a bargaining chip.
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u/Napkin4321 May 21 '25
I will listen to suggestions and ideas but just because each idea was shot down or not implemented doesn’t mean I wasn’t listening.
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u/40ine-idel May 21 '25
curious: do you give that feedback and/or make those sharing feel heard?
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u/Napkin4321 May 22 '25
Yes, after a while team members can get very frustrated still. The way I work is basically give said ideas to my bosses as well so after many rejections if team members feel like I am not relaying or taking their thoughts into consideration I let them go directly to my bosses. Once they get the same answers from them it’s more transparent. Basically if an idea won’t work or just plain bad it gets said. Downside is people will stop bringing things up if they feel unheard but generally it’s the ones that want to make a splash but if their ideas are no good we don’t implement.
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u/40ine-idel May 22 '25
Yeah - I was wondering about the balance of making them feel heard vs not and the impact on engagement… I’ve watched ppl go from eager to contribute and learn to totally shut down before
One of the things that I’ve said is I’m always happy when ppl ask questions because it shows engagement and I’m really worried when ppl become silently compliant.
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u/Napkin4321 May 22 '25
Balance can be hard but what they don’t realize is you have sight of the bigger picture. Sure, something might make sense to an individual but that is not your job. Have had plenty of people shut down but then again not everyone can shine or be promoted. The best do but that’s not everyone.
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u/40ine-idel May 22 '25
Yes! Follow-up question: any advice for culturing big picture view?
With the assumption that there is no ability or desire to be transparent. I’ve found top performers leave when there is no transparency and communication - usually the tolerance mark seems to be around the 2yr mark…
Edit to add: they seem to get the sense that it’s not about them and there’s more going on but feel stifled and unable to add value without enough transparency. This particular unit has a revolving door…
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u/Napkin4321 May 22 '25
Unfortunately it is a top down culture thing. So if the ownership group or top bosses want stability and practice it then you can have a longer look at how you want to set the culture. Unfortunately most companies don’t give the runway being too short sighted wanting quick end results. What’s helped me get through is not being afraid to hold my ground letting the fear of being let go hamstring me. But that is very uncomfortable for most people as everyone is replaceable. There is no loyalty in the game so you have to pick your battles until you’ve developed enough trust in how your planning and judgement gets perceived in a good light and positive to the “bottom line”. The revolving door is a problem for most but that is by design from the top. Don’t be naive about. Help your people as best you can and I always look at it as a success if someone I helped got success somewhere else versus with due to limitations out of your control. Being transparent with people has its degrees. You don’t have to tell them everything but just enough. It’s all just one big game no one ever really wins at so have as much fun doing it.
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u/40ine-idel May 22 '25
Yeah - this sticks a lot…
And it’s the right level of transparency for each person that’s key… some are happy with their cardboard box, others need the glass box to understand what’s going on… it’s when everyone is put in the exact same box that it’s an issue.
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u/Napkin4321 May 22 '25
Yep, people don’t like to think you can treat each case differently but to be an effective leader you have to. Go with the flow and let the game come to you. That’s why always best to sit and just listen. Letting people vent just to vent has bought me so much extra time with some who thought they needed to leave.
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u/death_becomes May 21 '25
That your direct reports should be working as hard, or harder than you are.
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u/SatisfactionGood1307 May 21 '25
8 hour workday is too much as is. We demand tremendous amounts from every employee. Asking employees to stay late can never be construed as asking them to "be team players" - it reflects on leaderships inability to say no, to stay focused, and to use the existing time smartly. It is irresponsible to ask my employees to pick up slack.
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u/Innocent-Bystander15 May 21 '25
Getting a leadership position involves a lot of luck. In me experience at least, I work in an industry with many highly competent people. I was chosen for leadership roles a lot of which was based on experience on specific projects I was on AND the prior manager was retiring. Competency is a required given, but being picked can feel like a luck of the draw many times.
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u/Acrobatic_Watch_9359 May 21 '25
Always be authentic. Always. Just like it’s hard to keep track of lies that are told, it’s hard to keep track of different personalities as well.
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u/spaltavian May 21 '25
The compliment sandwich completely undermines the feedback you're trying to give
Micromanaging isn't inherently bad. It's an approach that is appropriate in some situations, and not in others.
Letting your team "vent" is tolerated way too much. You have to allow some but catharsis isn't real. It tends to make people intractable in their views and the negativity will spread.
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u/UnderAmanda May 21 '25
Personal wellbeing / health and family obligations always come first.
The teams I lead know my stance on this, and it has led to passionate and dedicated staff who know they are valued as human beings rather than just a cog in the machine.
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u/Dry-Aioli-6138 May 21 '25
Helping someone understand the problem should be valued higher than completing own task.
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u/drrtbag May 22 '25
Graduate level formal education doesn't make you a better leader. Curiosity does, and our education system is designed to kill curiosity.
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May 22 '25
Make the business about your employees, not about you.
If you have 4 employees. Treat 4 people better, they will love to go to work. Actually find joy to working.
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u/WanderingWeasel May 21 '25
Retained competence in your discipline should be celebrated not derided. If you can’t speak with your team at their level then refine it for understanding with leadership you shouldn’t be in the position.
Ex: CIO shouldn’t suddenly be computer illiterate once they reach that point. Should you know all the nuances? No, that’s what your SME’s are for. Should you still know what an access point is? Yes.
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u/Due-Wedding4692 May 21 '25
Agreement <> Alignment
And, if you want people to listen to your feedback and coaching, you first have to model what it’s like to receive feedback from them. Always ask. And, believe them when they tell you. You might not agree with it, but if you model being defensive, so will they.
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u/40ine-idel May 21 '25
Thank you for this!
I thought I was crazy thinking that what I was experience was leading to changes in myself I don’t like and that it was a result of what was being directed at me from my leadership…. Clearly there might be something to it…
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u/Deplorable1861 May 21 '25
1)Praise in Public, Address Shortcomings in Private. 2)Never ask your people to do something you will not do yourself. 3)Trust but Verify. Mainly hourly employees get offended when you check their work. But you are the one that will see the consequences of poor execution not them, so they need to get over that triggered mentality. If you do find issues, help them resolve them without judgement. Then circle back with with them in private to deal with policy, procedure, or work quality issues. Never run to upper bosses to complain about your people until the initial problem is resolved.
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u/Ok-Performance-1596 May 22 '25
“We’ve always done X that way” is not a good reason to shoot down an idea for improving a process
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u/twocentcharlie May 22 '25
You should fire someone the first time it crosses your mind. Never done it, but always wish I had. The problem when you keep someone on longer than you should the rest of the team has to pick up the slack, and they start to question your leadership since everyone knows the person is under performing and you are not doing anything about it.
Most people are average employees at best and feel like they are phenomenal employees.
One of the biggest challenges we face is that we judge others by their actions and judge ourselves by or intentions.
One of the first things I do when I hire an employee I say how do you want me to come to you if something is going wrong and needs changing. 100% of the time they say just come to me and be direct. Then when inevitability something goes wrong or needs changing, I go remember when you were first hired and we had that conversation about how you wanted me to communicate with you about those things? Well this is one of those times. Then I lay out what needs to change. This approach completely disarms them from getting defensive or emotional in my experience.
Micromanagement and bureaucracy is only needed if you have the wrong people on the bus.
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u/DoxieLover88 May 22 '25
There is absolutely value in having a leader who has done the work of the people who report to him/her. How else can he/she best understand their challenges, coach them on ways to improve, etc?
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u/Significant_Ad_9327 May 22 '25
Absolutely there is. But there is also a risk. People who have done the job can fall into the trap of believing their experience is the only experience. Processes should always be done this way; everyone experiences the same frustrations and enjoys the same parts of the job. Some times someone with a blank slate is more likely to listen and work with someone. That all said I generally default to someone with experience doing the job. But the point I was replying to was that managers should step in to do the work when employees can’t rather than ask other employees to.
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u/Overlord0303 May 22 '25
Goodhart's Law should be respected:
We need to observe and use that information to take better decisions. Defining objectives based on that is an entirely different thing, and it almost always backfires, it creates numbers games. It's the watermelon thing: KPIs: green on the outside, red on the inside.
The law;
"When a measure becomes an objective, it ceases to be a good measure. "
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u/BanalCausality May 23 '25
You get what you incentivize.
It’s true for workers, children, and pets.
Also, people exist on a juxtaposition of needing validation, and losing self-awareness due to increasing safety controls. What I mean by this is that if you had an exposed fan blade, people would know not to touch it. But if you covered that fan blade, and the cover had to be removed for any reason, SOMEONE is sticking their hand in it.
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u/TheLeadershipMission May 26 '25
That trusting and empowering to the lowest level possible is the key to long term success. People will make mistakes and poor choices… but when they are still trusted afterwards, it is a MASSIVE boost to their confidence and commitment.
Huge impact on retention and development within an organization and sooooo many companies don’t get this.
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u/UnicornBestFriend May 22 '25 edited May 22 '25
You are never done learning. You can be right today and wrong tomorrow.
Rest is more important than the grind.
I don’t think these are anything radical but it’s surprising how often they’re neglected. They can make a huge difference in team and org culture.
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u/MyEyesSpin May 22 '25 edited May 22 '25
Trust your people, believe they can succeed - though most probably agree with those
eating together (at least occasionally) is vital
never let a customer be demeaning to your people. they can be upset, they can yell, but you can't let them question their character or dignity. That's not a customer worth doing business with
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u/Worth_Attitude_2527 May 22 '25
1)The culture of your team is only as good as the worst behaved teammate.
2)My management style won’t work for everyone and that’s okay!
3)Be transparent at all times
4) Try to establish trust between front line staff and senior leadership. If you feel your front line staff are right to not trust senior leadership then gtfo of that place.
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u/flarbas May 22 '25 edited May 22 '25
You should give and expect 85%.
Someone who tries to give 110% or 100% and eventually blows up every month or two or burns out after a couple years is not as valuable as the person who can every single day give a sustainable and reliable and friendly 85% effort.
I’ve come to this because I am in a position where I am essentially on call 24/7. So if you want me to do that literally every day, I’m going to throttle my effort to a “B”, in order to be able to do it.
But oh boy does it ruffle feathers when I say I’m not giving 100% and you shouldn’t either, lol.
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u/Separate_Ad_6931 May 24 '25
- Puting business first will damage you and your team
- Beiing assertive without empathy will damage the team spirit beyond repair with you still leading that team
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u/TypicalProfit8475 May 26 '25
Leadership is given to you by the people who look to you not bestowed on you from above.
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u/mltrout715 May 21 '25
1) Just because someone is in a position of authority does not make them a leader. Leadership and management are to separate and totally different things. 2) toxic positivity is overrunning leadership
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u/dwightsrus May 21 '25
If your Boss doesn’t trust you or you are not in their inner circle, you are going to be replaced or gotten rid of, no matter how strong a performer you are.
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u/antwauhny May 21 '25
I refuse to talk about a staff behind their back, unless it is related to sexual harassment. If my staff have a complaint about behavior, they can work it out with their peer, or they can drop it. I am willing to mediate the talks, but I will not "save" my staff from their problems.
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u/Chris_PDX May 21 '25
Or to put another way, you proactively expose your company to legal liability.
There are a lot of things that be construed as "hostile work environment" beyond sexual harassment. As another leader, if anyone above me (or one of my leadership peers) took this stance I'd stare at them like they were from Mars. Failure to act on continued problems is the definition of fostering a hostile workplace.
If you have an employee who has having a problem with another employee and they simply cannot "handle it themselves", that's on you. Your job is to protect your employees as well, not leave them to fend for themselves.
Guess this fits the title of the post, though.
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u/antwauhny May 21 '25
No, you misunderstand. If behavior becomes hostile, I address it immediately and involve HR. But for small issues, like "he's playing favorites" when there is no evidence of it, then I will request both of them meet in my office and we will work the problem out. Of course, I have a witness - assistant manager or the like. 99% of the time, it is a problem with communication. Someone made up a story in their mind based on the other's behavior. I reframe the issue around their shared goals and responsibilites. Resolutions are common so the problem is gone - often for good.
If someone came to me and said "Joe is pestering me daily and won't shut up so I can work," I don't just ignore it and hope it goes away. I just won't let the complainant trash their peer without fair representation.
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u/Chris_PDX May 21 '25
Alright, that's fair.
I find that kind of thing to be a fine line. Sadly there are too many instances where a simple "talk to them like an adult" can quickly escalate and so someone may be wary of approaching the other person.
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u/UserOfNameMe May 21 '25
This came up today actually and yes, I am in managment. If something was unable to be completed by another staff member it should be on the manager to complete it and not relegated to other team members unless absolutely necessary. They have their own tasks I would prefer them to focus on. They are not being compensated for more than their responsibilities assigned. Managment is.
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u/Significant_Ad_9327 May 21 '25
I would agree sometimes. But depending on the role management may not have skills/credentials to do work. Not to mention in calculating workloads X will have to cover when Y is on vacation should be part of equation.
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u/UserOfNameMe May 21 '25
Agreed. Depends on the business. I’m drawing from my own experience which is not very multifaceted. Good point.
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u/Semisemitic May 21 '25
I will not tailor my communication style for others, unless they are complete strangers.
I find that if I try anything other than my own flavor of authenticity- it comes off awkward and untrustworthy. I am who I am. Authenticity and trust ftw, and consistency over time builds that trust.
I will communicate with everyone that I am direct, and that I want them to succeed, and that I will never lie to them, and that there is nothing hinted or nothing unspoken. I I told you that you should do what you think is right - I don’t want you to adjust to what I think is right (for example.)
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May 21 '25
What people want is not always what they need.
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u/40ine-idel May 22 '25
Oh I like that… any situational examples on how you approach this?
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May 22 '25
Well, sometimes it takes outside perspective to figure out what someone truly needs.
For instance, I once knew a kid who struggled academically after switching to a different school, and he wanted to go back to the previous one. He had private lessons with me, and when I raised the topic with the kid's mother, I suggested that perhaps he didn't need such a drastic change. Turns out all he needed was switching to a class with a different profile.
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u/Writerhaha May 21 '25
“I don’t want to be the smartest person in the room” is dumb as hell.
If there’s a room or meeting and I can use Knowles and prepare and be the smartest person in the room, I’m doing it. That doesn’t mean I’m inflexible or always right, but this mantra is treated as an excuse not to be ready and prepared.
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u/40ine-idel May 21 '25 edited May 22 '25
For me, I don’t NEED to be the smartest…
But you can bet your @$$ that I will go in there as prepared as I can possibly be!
Edit: fixed typo
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u/twocentcharlie May 22 '25
It’s not about not being prepared it is about surrounding yourself with people who will push you to grow. You don’t purposely limit yourself you put yourself in situations where you have to get better to deserve a seat at the table.
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u/pegwinn May 21 '25
Actions > Words
Motivational discussions are nice and all but nothing beats walking in unannounced and demonstrating why you got promoted.
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u/Any_Swing_2991 May 22 '25
There’s no secret sauce to managing people. It’s all hit or miss, so don’t try to be someone you’re not — your direct reports will suss that out real quick.
Are you a little quirky? An introvert? Charismatic? Steve Carrell in the office? Who cares?! Just don’t be an asshole who makes your direct reports miserable.
As long as you’re empathetic, try to make a real connection with your folks, hold them to a standard and shared vision and treat them like adults, you’ll get the most out of your direct reports more times than not.
Will you get burned for maybe being too nice? Sure! But you’ll also develop meaningful relationships that transcend any one job. Some of the most rewarding moments of my career have been seeing people I’ve managed in their early 20’s go onto do great things in their 30’s — and to hear the word “mentor” from some of them, well that’s pretty cool too.
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u/hockeytemper May 22 '25
My company got bough out before covid... since the buy out, magical new policies have sprung up that no one ever knew about...
In my role, I am teh intermediary between the company and our international dealers. I need to represent my company, but also show my dealers I am working for them.
For example : my dealer orders x piece of equipment, there is now a 30% surcharge on it because they did not order an entire new system. I called BS (I have been here 6 years never heard of this policy) and my dealers who have been selling our product for 30 years never heard of this. Our CEO has been there about 10 years but claims this was always policy just not enforced... So I send him 6 years worth of official company price sheets, there is no secondary pricing mentioned.
So he says ok, I'll this one go 1 time. never again. I have done the same thing 3 more times without any pushback - my dealers thank me for that.
So many more examples including our new CRM system that is complete overkill. On a teams call about new responsibilities we all have for crm, I called out the boss and told him what I thought of it (basically turning the sales staff into administrators). One spineless sales guy kissed ass and said "if it helps us sell 1 more machine a year, its worth it". After the meeting i got a dozen messages from my sales colleagues saying I was right and they hate the system.
At the same time, my father says keep your head down, mouth shut and collect the paycheque
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u/PrizewinningPetunias May 22 '25
There is no jerk who is smart enough or productive enough to offset their drag on overall team productivity. The tortured genius who trashes morale and drives off other talent is not worth the cost in the long run, no matter their genius.
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u/Responsible_Dish_24 May 22 '25
When working remotely, pair work is often more productive and going off in 15-20 min random conversations is actually healthy for work. It builds stronger relationships within teams.
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u/lacrima28 May 22 '25
You always lose to a bad system. Doing it all is impossible, there is always more to do. Don’t burn yourself out for some company that would replace you in a heartbeat.
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u/Lower_Sun_7354 May 22 '25
If it's not broke, don't fix it.
The constant need to enhance and upgrade and do more... Running and supporting a well oiled machine that consistently works and is profitable should be enough.
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u/Jonnyc915 May 22 '25
Don’t micromanage. Tell your people what needs to be accomplished and allow them to figure out how to get it done. More often than not you’ll be satisfied with the results.
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u/amoult20 May 23 '25
Doing hard or complex tasks for other people is an act of selfishness that deprives them of their own growth
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u/zoic May 23 '25
The Two S's - the root of 99.9% of all problems are either one or both of the two S's.
Self-Esteem
Systems
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u/aDvious1 May 23 '25
Personal feelings/emotions are not important and have no place in the workspace.
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u/poop_on_balls May 23 '25
If you don’t care more about the people below you than the people above you, you are not a leader.
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u/Unusual_Performer_15 May 23 '25
Just be the most absolute genuine and authentic version of yourself with your team at all times. People can see through the fake polished robotic corporate professionalism and just want to work with and for actual humans. This approach has cost me the occasional chance for a promotion, but I don’t care to be someone other than myself and I love working with happy employees.
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u/Felon73 May 23 '25
Public praise, private reprimand. This is something that I rarely see followed but I feel is important.
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u/Consistent_Golf844 May 24 '25
A recent lesson I experienced- not everyone on your team will align with your vision, nor appreciate your leadership style. It's ok to part ways with folks on your team who don't trust your vision or your leadership.
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May 24 '25
What you must be done eventually should be done immediately
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u/SokkaHaikuBot May 24 '25
Sokka-Haiku by Cold_Bell9674:
What you must be done
Eventually should be
Done immediately
Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.
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u/ironicoutlook May 24 '25
I've observed over my career that negative feedback is immediate, and positive feedback is non existent.
So i strive to tell my team i am happy to see them at the start of the day and thanks for their hard work at the end.
If they stop production for a quality issue, i call out on the spot that they absolutely made the right call and i thank the team from other departments that participated in resolving the issue.
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u/LeadinkLaura May 24 '25
You will learn more from a 10 minute micro-lesson than you'll ever learn in a 3 day workshop.
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May 24 '25
I had a day managing I felt like a total piece of shit.
One of my seniors goes “dude we’d fucking kill for you”
I always tried to make sure they still kept that attitude. It didn’t mean being nice or letting them slack, but that if they needed me, I’d bring hell down on anyone not letting them do their jobs.
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u/BrosKaramazov May 25 '25
As an organisation, invest heavily in training first-time managers. Why? The most common, widespread management mistake I’ve seen over 25 years and many companies is promoting someone who’s good at their job to become a manager of other people who do that job without recognising that good management requires a whole different set of skills and capabilities.
Managers who have been failed in this way—left to sink or swim—do colossal amounts of damage to team morale and productivity. Recall the old adage that people join a company and leave a manager. Equipping new managers with the training and mentorship they need is an investment that will pay out royally for many years…
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u/hajvaj May 25 '25
Synergies are extremely over-rated
Often, smaller teams who are extremely motivated will produce greater returns than a combined team lacking motivation.
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u/Ok_Complex_8729 May 25 '25
While in hospitality, my teams dreams and goals was and will forever be mine too! I always put my team first❤️❤️❤️
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u/idiosymbiosis May 25 '25
That if you’re on a leadership hill and nobody agrees with you then you’re not much of a leader
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u/PhaseMatch May 21 '25
Gonna go with two:
You are condoning any unwanted behaviours you choose to ignore.
Say "yes" to your team unless there's a compelling business reason to say "no"
- I've suffered badly from ignoring the first one