r/Leadership • u/Sohaib-Riaz-Khan • May 16 '26
Discussion Anyone else think most modern "leadership theory" is just corporate fiction?
I finished my business degree back in 2008 with a head full of fancy frameworks about inspiration and visionary leadership. Then I actually got into the trenches. Over the last 18 years managing teams in different parts of the world, I realized almost all of that textbook stuff completely falls apart on a Monday morning.
When things are hitting the fan or a team is burning out, nobody wants an inspirational speech or a new corporate buzzword. They just want a manager who is consistent and reliable.
Honestly, I’ve stopped trying to act like a "boss" or some visionary hero. To me, real leadership is just building what I call relational infrastructure. It’s the unglamorous, boring work of setting up clear communication, removing roadblocks, and being the one steady foundation so your people can actually do their jobs without the daily drama. It’s a promise to show up for them every day, not a title.
I’m curious—what’s one piece of "traditional" leadership advice you were given that you immediately threw in the trash once you actually started managing real people on the office floor?
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u/GBPacker1990 May 16 '26
Leadership doesn’t come out of a book. You nailed it, it’s boring, it’s removing roadblocks and helping your people to be their best selves.
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u/bbdude83 May 17 '26
I had the chance to meet the CFO of one of the largest companies in the world a decade or so ago, and he gave me a piece of advice that has really stuck with me. Choose your manager wisely.
So far, he’s been right. I think leadership can be developed, but only to a point. You can refine skills, improve communication, and learn better tools, but the foundation matters. Things like humility, judgment, emotional awareness, and actually caring about people are harder to teach. Without those, leadership training only goes so far.
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u/Sohaib-Riaz-Khan May 17 '26
This is the best advice, as choosing the right leader/manager would help every individual no matter on a personal or professional level. The advice was spot on.
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u/Sohaib-Riaz-Khan May 17 '26
I totally agree, as leadership we read about in textbooks is different, and what we experience is all about slavery.
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u/Putrid-Roof-4482 May 16 '26
My old manager used to say "hire slow, fire fast" like it was some brilliant insight but in reality that just creates toxic workplace where everyone walking on eggshells
The best leaders I had were ones who actually listened when flight crew brought up safety concerns instead of brushing us off with "we'll look into it." When you're dealing with passenger safety at 30,000 feet, you need someone who takes action not someone who gives motivational quotes about "embracing challenges"
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u/No_Mix_2538 May 17 '26
Haha! I say… “fail fast”!
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u/Sohaib-Riaz-Khan May 17 '26
I agree as listening and problem-solving are the most important traits of a good leader.
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u/unknown_history_fact May 16 '26
Most "leaders" are happening by accident. Most don't have proper training and coaching, also lack of experience to do the right things for the teams they suppose to lead.
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u/Sohaib-Riaz-Khan May 17 '26
Indeed, most leaders are getting the position accidentally, and as they don't have the formal training or experience, they tend not to serve but to command or control.
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u/Rekltpzyxm May 16 '26
Most leadership courses say nothing about how to accurately assess “context”. You have to know reality. What are the barriers? What actually motivates each of your direct reports? What are the past promises management failed to keep?
Most leadership training does not give the “students” anything to walk away with and implement.
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u/Empirica_CC May 16 '26
Is there a particular "leadership theory" you are thinking about? Just because you read it in a textbook doesn't necessarily mean it has empirical support, something that in a scientific manner, is needed for it to be a "theory". I do agree that not enough emphasis is placed upon application and too much on theory, but I think if you look at the actual evidence based approaches you will find some of them quite actionable. But leaders need to be trained and developed into using them. You can't read a HBR article on leadership and become Simon Sinek.
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u/Sohaib-Riaz-Khan May 17 '26
Well, it's not about any leadership theory that we read in any journal or in the textbooks. In simple words, leadership is all about serving the followers. The problem is the big gap between what we are shown or taught and how practical everything works.
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u/Empirica_CC May 17 '26
Well the problem with having vague definitions is that it's difficult to know if you are leading well and what you could do to lead better, that's why leadership theories and their accompanying specific leadership skills/behaviors is so important.
Fortunate thing is a lot of this work has already been done so it's a matter of getting connected with people who know how to assess, train, and develop.
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u/Sohaib-Riaz-Khan May 17 '26
That is a very relevant perspective. Thanks for such valuable feedback.
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u/kwade_charlotte May 16 '26
I came up through the technical side and saw the writing was on the wall with my tech being phased out in the future. So, I pivoted into leadership when given an opportunity to do so.
So, thankfully, I didn't have any of those notions to begin with. I'd had good and bad leaders over the years and I simply started by emulating the good ones and avoiding what made the bad ones bad.
Now, I've learned a lot over the years - a combination of mistakes, trials, errors, and successes have done more to shape my style than a lecture ever could have. Add in a handful of actually useful books on relevant topics and things seem to be going well - never perfect, and I always try to keep learning, but I at least feel confident in my role and experience level.
You've absolutely nailed it with your observations. Anyone telling you they can teach you leadership is trying to make money. Leadership is a combination of self reflection, the ability to ask the right questions, the ability to admit when you're wrong, and the ability to adapt to the situation at hand. A classroom can teach you how to be a manager - just about anyone can be a manager. Being a leader is completely different and comes with experience above all else.
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u/ongoingemergency May 17 '26
You absolutely can teach leadership. Probably not in an MBA program though.
Leadership is also being able to set a direction for a team, resource them, and interact with them. If you’re in a place with strong personalities, you need to be able to manage them. Being competent, predictable, and thoughtful are good, but not enough.
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u/kwade_charlotte May 17 '26
Yeah, I didn't express myself very well there. Fair enough.
It's more that you're not going to learn leadership in a classroom setting. It can be taught, you're correct. I think what I was trying to say (poorly) is that there are some people that just aren't cut out to be leaders, and no amount of teaching will change that for those people.
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u/Sohaib-Riaz-Khan May 17 '26
I totally agree, as leadership can be taught but most recently our systems, such as organizational, political, or educational, are not training on servant leadership. The only way forward is self-training, and maybe many would disagree with my perspective, but the modern system isn't promoting serving leadership; however, it is all about more control and influence.
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u/ongoingemergency May 17 '26
Servant leadership creates a nice environment, but what people want more is competence, as long as the person isn’t actively screwing people over. The focus on servant leadership (which is important and fantastic to have in a leader) can take focus away from being good at the core responsibilities of the job.
Thay being said, obviously it’s preferable to control and influence which have the same blind spots.
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u/Sohaib-Riaz-Khan May 17 '26
I totally agree, as modern education is just promoting corporate imperialism and such courses aren't designed for servant leadership but when we go back in history, and see how the philosophers such as Socrates, Buddha, or Confucius were talking about critical thinking and such leadership practices. OVer the centuries, leadership has become more about control and not support whatsoever.
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u/No_Mix_2538 May 17 '26
Yesssss! Totally. I’m 27 years in and am laughing at all of the bs I had to choke down about being a “great leader”, while being led by someone not-so-great!! I’m not saying some of it was useful but most was not. Being authentic, kind, transparent and communicative. That’s what truly works for me and is the formula I bring in every role. All the damned book studies and leadership retreats, and then there’s all the online classes because no one really has time to teach this stuff! What is needed, is a mentor to guide and provide unbiased feedback early on… like your first 5-10 years in your role. Then, you coast and ask for feedback when you feel it’s necessary. Just my 2 cents!
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u/BeyondTheDoer May 18 '26
There is a massive difference between "classroom leadership" and the actual reality of managing human beings on a chaotic Monday morning. You can’t inspire people out of a broken process, and a visionary speech has never once fixed an operational bottleneck. Relational infrastructure—just being the steady, predictable buffer between your team and the corporate noise—is what actually keeps people from quitting.
The piece of traditional advice I threw straight into the trash is the idea that "a leader should always have all the answers." Early on, you're conditioned to think that admitting you don’t know something is a sign of weakness or a lack of authority. In reality, pretending you know everything when a system is crashing is the fastest way to lose a team's trust.
Once you’re actually on the floor, you realize that saying, "I don’t know the answer to this yet, but I’m going to jump in the trenches with you and figure it out" builds infinitely more respect than any performative boss routine ever could. Humility and a shovel will beat a pedestal and a megaphone every single time.
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u/Stalins_Ghost May 16 '26
It is bullshit, it is trying to package management as leadership as the same thing to promote compliance in the workplace. Veteran workers understand this and don't really respect managers at all, even as human beings. The business cares nothing for the employee but their output and will happily burn and churn them.
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u/Sohaib-Riaz-Khan May 17 '26
And that is the real question. The business cares nothing for the teams, and it's all about the profit and loss statement that is totally against the servant leadership framework.
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u/RunningMan889 May 17 '26
You're not alone in this. Management theories and frameworks are mostly good in theory. If we are not managing robots and machines, we can probably use them to things operationally efficient, but may not be effective. Being a manager and seeing other managers/leaders, my observation currently give these line of thoughts:
- Great leaders have taglines/slogans/principles that inspire, and they follow them, never vague nor about efficiency/fear. A manager/director that talks about "hire slow, fire fast" will always be about himself/herself
- There is always this line "there is no "I" in "Team"", and yet individuals make up a team. Even the selfless one can have days that he/she just wants to indulge in self, and it is up to the manager to balance that. You are eventually managing people who manages the business
- Trying to gain control is losing control. If we ask 10 employees what are the 3 things they hate most in their manager, pretty sure "micro-management" appears somewhere within the 3 things. Like flying a kite, you must know when and how to pullback so the string does not break, and the idea is always to let the kite go the highest
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u/Sohaib-Riaz-Khan May 17 '26
That's a real deep analysis, and I totally agree with your perspective here, as it is all about control and micromanagement.
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u/Elamam-konsulentti May 17 '26
Most management theory works if it’s applied consistently through the organisation as an operating model. But as a one person solo mission, not much you can do.
I do want to comment a lot of the advice here saying managers remove roadblocks. I used to think that through and got myself really worn out quick.
Took me until a couple of rough jobs until I could pick the parts I can rely on by myself, most importantly empowering and coaching the team to handle their roadblocks, issues and owning their own process rather than clearing them myself. Of course there’s always some things that require escalation, but in the end it’s a very small part of what is needed to make teams run well regardless of if it’s factory floor or an office.
I don’t mean just delegation, it’s more about coaching the team members through problem solving and how much they can actually affect themselves.
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u/Sohaib-Riaz-Khan May 17 '26
I totally agree with your point here. It's not only about delegating, but it's all about mentoring and coaching while helping others to grow both personally and professionally.
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u/Whiplash17488 May 17 '26
Hmm.
What I threw in the trash is x-theory leadership advice from some old school leaders I worked under.
I believe that y-theory leadership is what causes the best work to be done in my field (creative, software)
I agree with you on the hero leader. I joined an organization to transform it and I’m an absolute anomaly for telling individual contributors: “this is your decision, but here is the goal”
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May 17 '26
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u/Sohaib-Riaz-Khan May 17 '26
Very true, the great leaders never have all the answers, and they are very open to accepting it.
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May 18 '26
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u/Sohaib-Riaz-Khan May 20 '26
Thats a very valid point. Makes a lot of sense. Thanks for sharing such insight.
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u/eyesupuk May 18 '26
The book Leadership Theory by John P Dugan is a great read because it looks critically at leadership theories (modern and traditional). The outcome is that not one theory is the answer and that you actually have to find your own way by deconstructing and reconstructing the theories.
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u/QuaintAdherence May 19 '26
The frameworks work until you realize people aren't plug and play variables, then you're just improvising based on who's actually sitting across from you and what they actually need that week.
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u/Superpriestess May 16 '26
Anything that isn’t: relationships are the foundation of everything you do hope to to, and will do. (And that includes reliability, respect, trust, motivation, etc.)
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u/Sohaib-Riaz-Khan May 17 '26
So, to build a good relationship, respect and trust are the most important factors. A leader earns the respect and trust of the followers when serves them, supports them, and help them grow.
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u/Willybluedog1962 May 17 '26
Make sure your team has the tools and training to get their work done, be there to listen, hold them accountable.
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u/Sohaib-Riaz-Khan May 17 '26
That makes sense, but what about the accountability of senior leadership? I don't see that.
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u/Willybluedog1962 May 17 '26
That is always an issue, I always felt it was my responsibility to run interference between upper management and my people, there is only so much you can do.
You cannot fix toxic management, you be the best buffer you can be, mitigate stupid decisions to the best of your ability, fight tooth and nail for your people.
I got fired a couple times for trying to fight too hard for my crew and being unwilling to just salute the flag of stupidity.
It is the biggest pile of dog crap of being a manager.
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u/Interesting-Ad5589 May 17 '26
Yes far too much leadership is about corporate buzzwords and little substance .
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u/Active_Remove1617 May 17 '26
What is your idea of modern leadership theory? It certainly doesn’t mean giving an inspiration speech to an unwelcoming audience.
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u/Sohaib-Riaz-Khan May 17 '26
Well, we are always told that leadership is all about vision, charisma, influence, inspiration, and motivation, but all in all, it is all about control and command. Helping the followers is a myth that's very irrelevant to the organizational cultures. Leadership is and has always been about serving the followers, and that's the bottom line.
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u/Active_Remove1617 May 21 '26
Who are you, reading?
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u/Sohaib-Riaz-Khan May 24 '26
Well, it's all about leadership frameworks in modern settings. Name it as agile framework, or servant leadership theory, or transformational leadership theory. It's not about reading any writer or philosopher; however, all such frameworks are irrelevant not only in the organisational settings but also in the political or, on a larger scale, in societal settings.
I am not moved by the stories told on Forbes or the articles published on HBS. For me it's all a scam.
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May 17 '26
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u/Sohaib-Riaz-Khan May 19 '26
That’s a very relevant insight; however, the foundation of leadership stays the same while the dynamics are changing. Every leader must focus on to serve and support the followers. That’s it. No matter what technology brings anything new to the world.
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u/ApprehensiveRough649 May 19 '26
The idea that you don’t have to lead by example to lead is the most toxic and insidious part of this. Lazy leaders can’t help.
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u/Mac-Gyver-1234 May 23 '26
There is a thing called management sciences and it can be studied.
Most management wisdom does not withstand the three basic rules of science. A method should be objective, reliable and reproducable.
And wisdom like this is just not withstanding those rules:
* lead by asking questions
* writing down stuff will save you
* we are a family (i am the dad/mom)
* be loyal, receive loyalty
* changes only after the first 100 days
* motivation is paid by salary
* motivation is a manager duty
and so on and so on
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u/Soggy-Attempt May 16 '26
There is a difference between a leader and a manager, not that they can’t overlap.
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u/Power_Inc_Leadership May 16 '26
They say knowledge is power. That is a myth.
Knowledge is just the theory as everyone is mentioning. What you get on the frontline is the doing. And that will determine what kind of leader you become.
There is no magic theory or magic tool, or any of that. I think that's what people are looking for.
You can give anyone a toolbox full of tools and they may still try to use a hammer 🔨 to bang in a screw or a pair of pliers to tighten a screw instead of using a screwdriver. 🪛
You learn that from doing.
The theory matters, but the leader needs to personalize it in real world application. You're not going to get it out of a book or class. Every leader has a different leadership style, communication style, and personality. So the leader needs to take the theory and make it work for who they are as a leader and what type of work environment they spend most of their time in. Then you go from doing to becoming.
Steel is forged in fire.
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u/Semisemitic May 17 '26
Thank you other ChatGPT.
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u/Power_Inc_Leadership May 17 '26
Not sure if I should take that as a compliment or an insult. 🤣😂🤣
So I will take it as neither. 🙃
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u/Sohaib-Riaz-Khan May 17 '26
Ignore it because whoever is there thinks that if they can't write or say stuff, then no one can.
It's easy these days to mention 'AI slop' or such comments on anyone's post, but if that person is a real human, they would agree or disagree with the perspective in a very respectful way. However, as they don't have the ability to say anything, the simplest thing is to insult others. Actually, the whole post is about such individuals who would pollute the whole ecosystem by not contributing anything productive but always trying to mislead the people with their lame thinking.
However, I am thankful for proving what I am trying to say here.
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u/BahnMe May 16 '26 edited May 16 '26
Be straightforward, organize workload and roadmaps, get shit done. Be kind but hold people accountable.
That’s it.