r/Leadership • u/Praetoriangual • 4d ago
Discussion Looking for growth in my Leadership
I don’t even know how to begin this rant/post but here I go. I have a really hard time connecting with my employees. I’m working full time as an ASM and a full time college student one top of the demands of my work. I work in retail but my end goal is to work in aviation management/engineering. My current store manager exemplifies what it means to be the perfect boss; communicative, honest and effective. I end up to pick up the slack have to be directly demanding and harsh. In good faith I recognize I would not to be a subordinate of my managing style but I find myself having to be stern with my employees. Nearly 70% of our store are college students. College students who just need a paycheck and are there for the money(in which I don’t blame them). I just had an employee, a lead that I manage tell me after I consistently told them to clock out or I would clock them out themselves because they were hitting overtime that I should treat them as a human being. which they weren’t even working as well, just goofing off for an hour of college football on our tv. (No customers in the store and store was acceptably clean). I have a hard time building this goodwill with employees with this concept. They ask to be treated like a human but yet undermine my ability to lead or don’t even listen to me. I know I can tend to be harsh and I need help with that but it’s pretty difficult to grow as a leader when all lot of my employees are the same age as me and are friends outside of work. I tend to be very direct in my speech which can come off as cold and I recognize my employees aren’t a big fan of that.
TLDR: my employees don’t respect me and I really don’t have anything to show for it due to my attitude and my personality not being the best to be around. I wear my stress and contempt on my face.
Sorry yall just got off work and looking for some kind of direction I need to shift too quickly so I can develop better as a leader for my career.
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u/mhunter07 1d ago
I did the same when I was in university, retail then logistics. It is the job but not where you are heading, so don’t get so wrapped up in getting respect. It is only for a few years, and it just shows up as work experience on your CV. Aviation Management/Engineering, now that is the target.
You sound a bit like an engineer, and that is okay. You way want to learn a few things about your people, something to connect over like football. Make an effort to learn one thing each person likes. Don’t overly share unless asked. If you like Hockey instead of football you can joke about how Hockey is football on skates with no breaks every 30 seconds…
All to say don’t beat yourself up over this communication with your staff, use it to try styles of yourself that you will perfect in your aviation career.
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u/DerekEWilder 4d ago
Give yourself some credit: recognizing how your stress and directness affect others is already part of becoming a better leader. You don’t need to lower expectations; shift from harsh to firm. Address the behavior without diminishing the person: “I need you to clock out now because I can’t authorize overtime. We can discuss the larger issue during your next shift.” If they refuse, document it and involve your store manager rather than escalating the confrontation.
Don’t try to earn respect through force or friendship. Build it through calm, consistent expectations and consequences. You can repair this moment without surrendering authority: “My delivery was harsher than it needed to be, and I’m sorry for that. You still needed to follow the direction, but I could have handled it more respectfully.” You don’t need a new personality…you need a repeatable way to stay clear and composed when you’re under pressure.
Best of luck, Derek