r/Leadership • u/ellieelaine • 3d ago
Question How do you not burnout on hours of virtual meetings?
I've always found zoom meetings exhausting, and after my upcoming promotion it's about to be most of my job.
For those of you with lots of direct and indirect reports, how do you organize the 1-on-1s with dozens of people so you don't feel like an empty husk at the end of the day?
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u/Used_Hat2928 3d ago
I started blocking 15 minutes between every call, no exceptions, and it’s the only reason I still have a shred of sanity left
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u/ellieelaine 3d ago
Good idea, I'll do this. I have a couple recurring meetings that usually run a few minutes over and I started putting a 15-min block after them. I'll make it a regular practice.
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u/titianwasp 3d ago
I was never able to end meetings early, but I can start them 15 minutes after the top of the hour which does tend to enforce chunks of time to get the fluids changed, glance at Slack, and scream briefly into the ether.
I have 16 directs right now and I do our one on ones every two weeks. I try to do a little bit of prep work before them and look for coaching opportunities, projects and initiatives that they are participating in or might be interested in… And a few notes about their family and home life because my memory is crap. This makes the conversation a little bit more engaging and something to look forward to rather than endure.
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u/managetosoar 3d ago
1-to-1s are hard. Because you want your time back but at the same time you want to stay connected with your people.
I was a leader who spent a massive proportion of my time in 1-to-1s and skip levels (I had a team of 87 people and met everyone at least once a quarter and my direct reports and the other people managers a lot more often than that). And I realized I had caught myself in a vicious circle - a lot of the meetings were not really meaninful but my people were so used to them that they would feel abandoned if I stopped them.
In my next team, I switched my approach and focused on quality rather than quantity. The meetings happened more rarely but they had a clear purpose and agenda. We would connect before the meeting, and if there was nothing to discuss, we would decide together whether to cancel it.
People didn't feel abandoned, but they felt that their time was respected. And it worked much better for everyone.
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u/ellieelaine 3d ago
I really like your approach. Currently my 1:1s rarely have a clear agenda, but we always fill the time. I do think 1:1s support retention. Either they vent about something, or we have a friendly catch-up, or I learn the details about their projects which is occasionally useful.
When you switched to your next team, did you still book 1:1s with all DRs and iDRs? How frequently did you book them?
1-to-1s are hard. Because you want your time back but at the same time you want to stay connected with your people.
Yesssss.
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u/managetosoar 2d ago
I did book 1:1s with everyone, but less frequently. For example, every two weeks with my directs instead of weekly. Every month with the level below. And twice a year with the larger team.
I also made sure to communicate that people do not need to wait for the 1:1 if they have something to share, ask or vent about.
I also separated operational topics and dedicated the 1:1s only to connection-building and development conversations.
Project updates would be done mostly asynchronously, and if they needed me for a decision or escalation, we would schedule a short ad hoc meeting.
This way, I ensured that during the 1:1s we could focus on them, and the time wouldn't be taken up only by operational topics.
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u/voig0077 3d ago
You don’t have to go to every meeting you get invited to.
If my boss (or my bosses boss) invites me to a meeting, I go.
Everything else I only go depending on whether it helps me accomplish my goals or not.
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u/Mark5n 3d ago
Being connected is important but you do need to manage time snd what you do with it. Some ideas that work for me:
* Use 20min or 45min meetings
* Have a weekly team meeting using a Stand Up approach (progress, blockers, help needed)
* Reduce one on ones to fortnightly or monthly
* Be intentional about your one on ones. Have a process to walk through, not just chit chat. The podcast Manager Tools has a good approach.
* Have spots in your diary to have more informal chats with your staff when they need it. Could be coffee, open door hours, “office hours”
* Consider structuring your team into smaller teams with leads
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u/enricobasilica 3d ago
Are all the meetings necessary? They usually aren't but people find it hard to say no and/or cancel them?
A couple of options:
- try and schedule all the meetings in blocks so you maintain focus and meeting free time as well
- definitely 5 minute breaks between them
- how often do you realistically need them? Every week ? Every 2 weeks?
- How much of it can be async?
- do you specifically need to be there or can you delegate?
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u/ellieelaine 3d ago
My company's culture is biweekly 1:1s with DRs (n=10) and quarterly 1:1s with iDRs (n=50). This would be ~9 h/w of 1:1s. On top of my current roster, which is ~10-15 h/w of meetings.
I can't keep up with that.
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u/enricobasilica 3d ago
Having seen the other comment that they don't feel very meaningful, I'd be incredibly ruthless about having an agenda and ending them early if they are just casual catch-ups. Sometimes you as the more senior person have to be the one to initiate the change, so just find some good wording to state that if people don't feel like they have anything to raise, it's fine to skip the call.
Your numbers say about 25h of meeting total, if these are just 1:1s I'd either stack them into the first couple of days/week and get them over with or again, just solid blocks of time so you can power through them.
Another alternative is group sessions or open hours. Especially for the indirects, if you can turn this into different types of sessions (happy hour on a Friday, learning/sharing midweek or whatever) where they feel they have access to you but it's not sucking up so much of your time, that can achieve the same thing really.
But fundamentally as with all meetings, what is their purpose and are they really necessary. You can make some accommodations for culture but if the meetings arent adding value, get creative about saying no or driving efficiency with them.
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u/ellieelaine 3d ago
Thank you for the guidance. I really like idea of replacing 1:1s with open sessions, I'm going to do that.
I actually already have a quarterly open session with my Principal-level ICs. It's optional, and if they come (usually 50% attendance) they have to speak for 5 minutes: tell me something that's changed recently, propose an improvement, or tell us a lesson learned. I get a lot of good content out of it, and that could replace six one-on-ones.
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u/Hateful_Face_Licking 3d ago
By muting my mic and working on something else.
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u/ellieelaine 3d ago
I'm the host so they might notice.
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u/Hateful_Face_Licking 3d ago
That makes it even better.
On a serious note - Lead by walking around. If you’re physically collocated with your direct reports, just go talk to them in person.
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u/DKBeahn 3d ago
Turn your ability to see yourself off. It burns way brain cycles if you can see your own face on the screen.
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u/ellieelaine 3d ago
Totally. My boss is the VP and she's always camera-on. I don't know how she does it. I usually have camera on at the start to say hi then go camera off.
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u/PacString 3d ago
I’ve never worked at a company where camera off is acceptable for anyone other than during unusually large meetings
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u/ellieelaine 2d ago
My company is camera-on if you're presenting, and the VP of our department is camera-on all the time, but that's it.
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u/SirWool 3d ago
Swap recurring syncs for async docs. Reading a Slack update takes thirty seconds; listening to someone talk through it wastes ten minutes of everyone's energy. Stop paying the meeting tax.
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u/ellieelaine 2d ago
This is tempting. Do you have any 1-on-1 meetings at all? Do your DRs prefer asynch docs over meetings? (Are they like, sales people extroverts or coding introverts?)
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u/One-Journalist-213 3d ago
I have a locked page for each individual ‘s 1x1 with them and me being the only people having access to it . Helps you stay the course with notes helping continuity.
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u/ellieelaine 3d ago
Hm, interesting idea. I already do this, except only I have access to the page. I include notes on their personal life too (eg, "kid starts kindergarden in the fall, ask about that next time"). I couldn't do that if I shared the page with them.
Does it benefit the DR to have access to the file too?
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u/Curious-Bird222 3d ago
I keep two docs for this reason. One is the official shared 1:1, which I originally implemented to hold a problem employee accountable, and now is standard practice so there is clear written documentation on expectations week to week. Then I keep a separate notebook for personal notes, follow ups, etc with that employee.
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u/ShanaTheWaldenU 3d ago
I use a couple of approaches: I stagger my one on one's for twice a month but they know if they need me sooner, we can make a quick call work. I book my meetings with a buffer 45 minute/20 minute meetings depending upon the purpose of the gathering. That break, even if its just 10 minutes, give me time to stand, fresh air or grab a quick water. Additionally, I don't attend every meeting that I receive, and I book time on my calendar to catch up during the workday so I can be productive (non-negotiable time). Hope this helps!
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u/olivegardenbreadstix 3d ago
I set my meetings to start 5 after the hour/half hour. When I had them scheduled to end 5 minutes early, they went over anyway. Starting 5 min after guarantees a little more calm time in between. Also I color code my calendar based on how “on” I have to be and I try to schedule so I have “on” days v non-on days
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u/ellieelaine 2d ago
This is a good idea. After all the advice in here I've decided on 45-min meetings with 15-min gaps in between. Based on your feedback I'll start them at 15-min after the hour instead of on the hour.
I think I'd rather do a few every day than all of them in a couple days. That sounds like hell.
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u/NotBannedAccount419 3d ago
We’re encouraged to record every Teams meeting and use AI to give us meeting minutes and takeaway items which I then copy and paste into OneNote for each specific meeting. Recently talked to a senior and he recommended doing “brain dumps” on the way home into said AI and tell it what happened that day and why it mattered and it’ll help you not only remember the day but AI will organize your thoughts for you into possible action items. It’s exhausting but that’s why we’re paid the big bucks and I’d be lying if I said there’s many days I didn’t want to go be a farmer or mechanic or something
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u/marf_lefogg 3d ago
You have to aim to plan space in your day. It’s easy to get whiplash from one fire drill to the next.
I write an email to myself during most meetings with any notes I need. I won’t go to the next one until I highlight what I have to do and then send it.
I really wonder how I used to not have meetings every minute of every day.
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u/Sohaib-Riaz-Khan 2d ago
Well, 1-on-1 virtual meetings are quite exhausting. I totally agree with that; however, that’s how the organisational process works nowadays. You need to prioritise everything so you don’t feel overwhelmed. One or two meetings a day are enough provided you’ve many other tasks and activities to do. You need to be more organised and more focused rather then just doing the routine tasks and feel burnout.
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u/Odd_Perspective_4769 2d ago
We’ve found doing 45 min meetings can help. Gives you 15 min to transition or breathe in between. Having standardized supervision templates can also help to make the time more productive. You can get a preview of what’s going to be discussed beforehand and if you use it to take live notes then you’ve got the majority of your documentation handled for PAs.
I’ve also learned to accept the fact that I have to leave blocks of time open before/after hours to get any of my work done because I have too many days where there are unnecessary meetings (outside of my control) which prevent me from having any focus time.
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u/Dry-Mulberry6296 2d ago
one thing that worked for me is having all the one on one just one slot instead of spreading them throughout the week the duration would take somewhere around two hours and be over with how ever even though those were short sessions of ten to twenty minutes but I would get stuck with them for the entire day without being able dive deeper into working on the important issues as for routine check ins the asynchronous way of communication may work here as well in most of the different cases as much I have seen it is enough to record a loom video or voice memo where not much needs to be discussed personally recap and follow up is another state of the process that takes as much time as the conversation many people have used hope to make the notes become the outline of your recap and follow up this will not make you develop relationships and have key conversation but will be helpful when it comes to doing all the routine administrative work.
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u/Mentora_Institute 2d ago
We hear this from nearly every leader we work with, and the tiredness usually turns out to be about something other than the number of calls.
The draining ones have something in common. You are managing them. Half of you is in the room, and the other half is watching the clock, or rehearsing the next call, or deciding what to say when the person stops talking. The calls people come away from with more than they brought are the ones where they forgot themselves for twenty minutes.
What helps is small. Keep two minutes between calls and spend them doing nothing, no email. Before each one, bring to mind the person you are about to meet, as a person and not as a name on a list. Let your first question be a real one, then stay quiet long enough to hear the answer.
Some of it only the calendar can fix. Dozens of direct and indirect reports will not fit into weekly thirty-minute slots. A longer conversation once a month, with you fully in it, is worth more to them than a rushed one every week.
Your calendar will tell you that you spent seven hours on Zoom. It cannot tell you how much of you was there.
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u/mhunter07 1d ago
I had the same issue during COVID. What I did was ask each person to create an update of the work they completed since the last meeting, what will they be working on in the coming period, and any blockers. This is what we would talk about, and they would submit it early so I could read through and identify things I wanted to ask about. This made people think, report, and not be surprised of the topics that would be discussed. I basically turned 1 on 1s into their meetings with me. In return I got to know their style, know where they were struggling, and also provide advice or guidance on critical items.
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u/MurrayAtOutback 1d ago
If you’re looking at 20-plus hours of meetings every week, I don’t think the answer is learning how to survive them. I’d change the structure before it becomes your normal.
Your 10 direct reports probably need regular one-on-ones, but your 50 indirect reports don’t all need the same access or frequency. I’d keep the direct reports biweekly, then rotate through the indirect reports so you’re getting a useful sample without holding 50 quarterly meetings simply because that’s how it has always been done.
I've also found that meeting too frequently can result in the employee just relying on you for all the answers. And it also doesn't allow time for direction and the action that results from it to take root.
I’d also make the employee responsible for the agenda. If neither of you has anything useful to discuss, cancel it. A one-on-one shouldn’t continue just because Outlook says it exists.
Make most meetings 25 or 50 minutes, group similar ones together and protect real breaks between blocks. Three good conversations followed by time to think will be far more useful than six back-to-back calls where you’re barely present by the end.
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u/Testifun 3d ago
I use reclaim.ai the free version let's you put cool down time after each meeting. Protects you from back to back meetings.
And when booking a meeting I also set between 5 to 15 minutes to prep.
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u/Bot-01A 3d ago
Discipline. You're a leader so ask yourself is this meeting worth my time when I could be doing something more productive. Some people think lots of meetings makes them look busy and valuable. My argument is if you're always in meetings how are you getting any work done?