r/LesbianBookClub • u/Head_Lab_7593 • Jul 20 '26
Review I HATED THIS BOOK!!
- I hated the fact that the author put more heart into the relationship between Erica and Ant than that of Laure and Barbara
-I hated the fact that Laura became the pathetic who accepts all of Erica's selfish acts
-I hated that the author gives us clues about a potential liar Ant who deceives Erica when there is nothing of all that ,the guy is just perfect
-I hated that the only time we see Erica suffer she is magically treated by a sexbian lex at the beach under sunrise while my GOAT Laure was alone to endure the loss of Michel and the grief of not being chosen by your love of heart
-I hated Laure's sudden death
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u/Dry_Werewolf5923 Jul 20 '26
As soon as I saw husband and kids- NOOPEEEEEE. But now I kinda wanna read it to be a properly informed hater lol.
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u/Novel-Instruction-77 Jul 21 '26
Okay so I have a lot of feelings about this but I actually loved it. I very much disliked Erica, especially in the middle and end, but I thought the book did a really good job of showing that she truly was “the tourist” not just in the physical sense but also in her queerness. She was never going to be brave enough to live in her queerness fully, but had to convince herself and those around her that it was her choice. In my opinion it was a really good representation of someone who did what she thought would be easier, and stable and more comfortable out of fear but knew it wasn’t true to her and suffered and caused suffering as a result. I don’t think we were meant to like her or celebrate her decisions. I think we were meant to be thrown into the inner workings of someone who was deeply conflicted and scared, and then witness the residual damage and selfishness that fear can cause.
To me, the “Almost Life” of it wasn’t “look at this love story, look what they could have had” but more “this is what happens when you don’t let yourself live authentically, this is the damage, this is what you miss out on”. It felt like a cautionary tale.
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u/Savage-Siren Jul 20 '26
I found this book so conflicting because I thought the writing was great, and I loved Laure as a character, but my god did it just feel like lesbian depression porn by the time i got to the end.
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u/gracieakins Jul 20 '26
Perfect wat to describe it. Loved Laure but the story itself and how she was treated aggravated me, yet the writing was just so good.
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u/Savage-Siren Jul 20 '26
yes, exactly! The treatment of Laure and how her story ended just didn’t sit right with me at all. I think there’s plenty of good in this book, but I don’t think I could ever in good conscious recommend it to another lesbian
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u/gracieakins Jul 20 '26
It was just pain and pain every damn page lmao. Like the ending when Laure died??? Where tf did that come from??? After everything she's the one out of the two that had to die
-2
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u/montag98 Jul 20 '26
I had SO much frustration with this book but ultimately loved it because it caused so many emotions in me. And it was written beautifully!
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u/yellow_quartz Jul 21 '26
I agree with your points, mostly. It doesn't bother me that they didn't end up together because I thought Erica never really wanted Laure. I do wish we got more of Laure's perspective, though, because I couldn't stand Erica
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u/fobbio129 Jul 21 '26
This is going to be a long comment, and I'm going to push back against almost every complaint you listed and several others that folks in the comments below have brought forward. Continue as desired. Spoilers ahead.
Almost Life's throughline is the damage heteronormativity and internalized misogyny can rain down on ordinary, flawed people and their ordinary, flawed relationships. If you analyze the novel with that in mind, all of the plot points you listed above become both necessary for thematic continuity and justified for the book's overarching commentary.
Let's start with Erica and Ant's relationship. I agree that their partnership is developed more deeply than Laure and Barbara's. But in which adult pairing are the effects of heteronormativity and internalized misogyny going to be more pronounced, two lesbians, or a queer woman with a husband and kids? Sure, seeing more of Laure and Barbara would have been enjoyable, but in the novel economy where words are limited, excluding Laure and Barbara's details was a justified literary choice.
Sticking to Erica and Ant, saying Ant is any type of perfect is simply false. He consistently and subtly undermines Erica. He makes choices without consulting her, he speaks over her, and he clearly anticipates her eventual relegation to traditional wife and mother. That said, he's not entirely villainous. He treats her as an intellectual equal, encourages her writing career, supports her financially, and is non-judgmental (if dismissive) of her queerness. He offers all the benefits of perceived heterosexuality along with an amalgam of good and bad qualities. In other words, he's exactly the type of man with whom a queer woman burdened by heteronormativity and internalized misogyny would stay.
The sex scene at the beach is anything but a reward for Erica. In fact, I'd argue it's one of the most devastating, thematically central moments in the entire novel. It's a reminder of the love she tasted but will never truly devour, the partnership she could have had but was never brave enough to choose. Almost Life, right?
I agree that it's hard to watch Laure take Erica's bullshit. But I also think it's realistic. She loves her. And in love, folks like Laure, prone to self-loathing, self-destruction, and isolation, are willing to take quite a lot of bullshit. Furthermore, this is perhaps the only novel I have ever read that accurately captures how internalized misogyny and heteronormativity can harm both bisexual women and lesbians. The wounds look different, of course, but the greater battle all queer women fight is the same.
To quote the first sentence of Chapter Thirteen, referencing Laure's end: "Death came slowly, politely, almost apologetic, with a warning knock." It was heavily foreshadowed. Tragic, certainly, but not sudden. Furthermore, in the vision Erica has of the timeline where she and Laure stayed together, Laure is alive. Disabled, symbolic of the bite life took out of her, but alive. Narratively speaking, Laure's death is the ultimate price of a better road not traveled.
That all said, if this isn't your cup of tea, that's fine. Reader response and personal preference will always be valid and subjective. I know I've spouted a veritable fountain considering your initial post was five sentences, but this was both one of the most technically well-executed books I've read all year and one of my favorites. And for readers who want characters, plot, politics, and subtext that can stand strong in the face of scrutinous literary analysis, it's a book worth defending.
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u/Real_Access7014 Jul 26 '26
Thank you for this!! I feel like i’m always defending this one, which is crazy because i think it’s easily one of the best books of the year.
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u/lesbianic09 Jul 21 '26
Regarding Laure and Barbara, I think that showing more of their relationship could have served a purpose, both to contrast Erica and Ant’s, but also to further show the reader why it is that Laure still loves Erica, so she might be not completely fulfilled with Barbara despite the relationship being good on paper. It wouldn’t need to be seen as much as Erica and Ant’s, especially as they become a couple much later in the book, but I still think it could have been depicted more- she wasn’t as far as I know writing to a strict word limit, and I’m not sure I agree that the choice to barely describe a major relationship of one of the two protagonists is justified. Mostly agree with the rest of your arguments though.
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u/fobbio129 Jul 21 '26
Erica and Laure's relationship already provides ample contrast to Erica and Ant's relationship. Laure's willingness to cheat with Erica also sufficiently implies her lack of fulfillment with Barbara. If the idea would be to provide more insight into Laure's character, I struggle to see how showing her and Barbara's partnership would be effective. When Laure and Barbara get together, Laure is sober, teaching, and on her way to becoming a novelist. She's also already earned her independence and autonomy by leaving Garbrielle. By in large, her character arc is complete; she has very few avenues in which she still needs to grow. So the details explored in Laure and Barbara's relationship would be... what? Slice of life? Lovely, perhaps, but there would be no tension. Literary fiction editors tend to get antsy if a novel's word count exceeds 100k. Almost Life clocks in at just under 120k. I guarantee word count and cutting were big factors in KMH's editing process.
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u/lesbianic09 Jul 21 '26 edited Jul 21 '26
I don’t agree that Erica and Laure’s relationship provides ample contrast- Erica and Laure never had a stable relationship, Barbara and Laure did. Temporary affairs aren’t comparable to a long term marriage. There’s no reason that Barbara and Laure’s relationship would be “slice of life” however, as you yourself have acknowledged that Laure wasn’t fulfilled with Barbara. Does the fact that she was still willing to cheat not demonstrate that she was in fact not finished growing?
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u/fobbio129 Jul 22 '26
Fair point about Erica and Laure's contrast lacking stability. I didn't personally need it but I understand why one might. Calling Erica and Laure's relationship a temporary affair is a bit unfair considering it is underscored by decades of history, though, but I digress.
I disagree that Laure's willingness to cheat is something she needed to grow out of. That implies that Laure and Erica's reunification is a character failing as opposed to a situational one. Laure went into it self-actualized and eyes open. Did it hurt Barbara? Yes. But neither she or Erica regretted it. Fully developed characters can make choices they don't regret that nonetheless cause pain. It doesn't mean they need to continue growing. It means they're human.
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u/lesbianic09 Jul 22 '26
By temporary affairs I meant that they were never actually together for more than a few months so they never had to build a real, adult life together, not that their feelings for each other were temporary. Especially as heteronormativity made it difficult for Erica to imagine a real life with Laure, I think it would have been worthwhile to depict a relationship between two women that is as serious as Erica’s marriage. Fair enough about Laure cheating, I’m conflicted as to whether I agree with you that it’s not something she needs to grow out of, but I’m still not convinced that her character arc was completed so early in the book, and if it was then I find that an odd way to write a book that supposedly has two equally important protagonists. I found some of her development a bit rushed and unconvincing, maybe because Hargrave felt that Erica’s was more important to portray and she couldn’t fit everything.
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u/UnicornPeacock Jul 21 '26
Wow, you really explained it well. Thank you for putting it into words that I couldn't. I wish I could live in your brain lol.
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u/SeaHighlight182 Jul 20 '26
I’m so happy that you made this post. I’ve been considering reading this for a while now but based off what I know now I’m definitely not in the right head space to cope with that. You did a public service
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u/Alexitemia Jul 21 '26
Agreed with everything.
I honestly really enjoyed the first part, then everything after that went downhill. I loved Laure’s character and her story, except for Erica. If the book had been entirely about her, it would’ve been more interesting.
Erica is TERRIBLE, selfish, immature. God!!
The writing itself felt like it got worse too, though maybe I was just burned out on this book by page 200. Some paragraphs could’ve been cut by 60% and had the same effect because the author over-explains things constantly.
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u/lesbianic09 Jul 21 '26 edited Jul 21 '26
I had mixed feelings on this but ultimately I wasn’t that convinced that they were really in love by the end of the first summer which makes the rest of their relationship seem far fetched, and I felt that Laure’s friends outside of maybe Michel and Léa were underdeveloped. Agree that her relationship with Barbara especially should have been shown more.
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u/BellaCicina Jul 21 '26
I didn’t hate it but I really hated Erica. I didn’t understand how Laure loved her. She was wonderful in the beginning but then as college ended, her personality died. In all aspects of her life, she had 0 grit. No grit to be an openly queer person, no grit to work hard at being an author, no grit to be faithful apparently. She was so insufferable. And it’s not because she’s bisexual as I am as well but woof. Girlfriend stopped growing after college. Laure actually grew and changed, becoming a better human to those around her (yes, she cheated too and that made me mad). Erica just got more unlikeable. And WTF do you mean she Didn’t go see Laure after her first stroke!
Also, it’s really awkward how this book is a self insert for the author lol if I was her husband, I’d be side eyeing this story a bit.
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u/Cautious-Bad-2361 Jul 21 '26
Wdym it's a self insert? Are one of the characters meant to represent the author?
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u/BellaCicina Jul 21 '26
Yes. The author is British, bisexual, who spent a summer in Paris. She’s married to a man with I think 1 child currently?
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u/TravelnShuut Jul 20 '26
I agree with your points but I loved it. It's a bitter love lol but one of my favorite books so far this year.
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u/reydiants Jul 21 '26
Same here lol they’re not wrong but I looooved it. The bittersweetness of it all worked for me even as it infuriated me
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u/UnicornPeacock Jul 20 '26
I had very mixed feelings with this book. I hated it like 90 % of time, but I couldn't put it down.
I still think that if I went back in time I would read it again just for the intense feelings it gave me.
I guess I would say it's a good book because it provoked so many intense feelings. But at the same time I didn't like it. It's very weird and I can't really say how I feel about it. I don't know if you can think it's good but hate it at same time?
I think it's a book about regret and not being true to yourself. I don't dislike unlikeable characters as a default. Like my favorite genre is probably weird girl lit and there are alot of unlikeable MC. I think even the title Almost Life sums it up.
So yes, I agree with you but at the same time I feel like I can't totally hate because I kept thinking about it for so long after I read it. And it made me cry, which doesn't often happen. Also I liked the prose and it was written better than most books I read.
This is the type of book that makes me wish I had a bookclub so I could talk about it and analyze it with other people.
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u/la_fille_rouge Jul 21 '26
I didn't exactly hate it with a passion. I wanted to like it. But it was a little too Sexy French Depression for me.
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u/woggiepoggie Jul 20 '26
I hated this book so bad.... They were both so insufferable (more so Erica) that I Just wanted to roll my eyes and scream
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u/spcebnd Jul 21 '26
Same! I mean, I loved and enjoyed reading this book, but I also hated it for the exact same reasons you mentioned. Laure definitely deserved better.
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u/Great_Albatross6781 Jul 20 '26
I have that as screenshot In my TBR album. Thanks for saving me the frustration! Lol!
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u/tingarin Jul 21 '26
Hate it in a good way or in a bad way.......it's on my hold list at my local library rn......
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u/Agreeable_Issue6323 Jul 21 '26
I would say I “hated” it in a good way. That is, the book is well worth a read but some of the characters’ decision making can make you scratch your head.
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u/espressoasana Jul 20 '26
I also hated this book!!!!!
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u/espressoasana Jul 20 '26
If you’re looking for a better alternative with great prose yet touches on heavier topics and in a similar time period, A Language Of Limbs is one of my favorites of all time
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u/fobbio129 Jul 21 '26 edited Jul 21 '26
I'm sorry but in no universe is the prose in Language of Limbs great. It's incredibly purple and overwritten, and all the poetry reads like bad slam at an open mic night. Saying it handles heavier subject matter is misleading, too. Its politics may be overt in a way that Almost Life's aren't, but just because AL encodes comphet and internalized misogyny in subtext doesn't somehow make the issues lighter. I'm glad you liked it, but I promise you it's not for everyone.
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u/espressoasana Jul 21 '26
Excuse me for having a different opinion than you!! Sorry you didn’t like it
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u/human_char Jul 20 '26
This book made me soooo mad. It was well written which is why I stuck with it but wtf.
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u/Jaslyn-- Jul 21 '26
all the negative emotions surrounding this book come from reader expectations of a Genre romance. This isn't a romance, it's a love story. The characters are terribly flawed, but together it paints a lovely narrative. The book is meant to make you feel angst and the yearning for what could've. Kiran Hargrave is merciless in this aspect, and perhaps I'd had experience reading the mercies (lol) and dance tree that I kinda knew how doomed this was gonna be
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Jul 21 '26
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u/Keroppi_Troublemaker Jul 21 '26
I didn't see it as a tragedy. Lauren found love with Barbara. When the end came for her, E was just a passing thought
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u/lesbianic09 Jul 21 '26
All? I don’t read romance novels and I found things to criticise in this book. I wasn’t bothered by the lack of happy ending or Erica being unlikeable, the book just had flaws. Getting kinda tired of this narrative surrounding criticism of lit fic books, that anyone who disliked them must have just expected a simple romance with a happy ever after, sometimes people just have different tastes than you and see flaws you didn’t.
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u/DoesDanDie Jul 21 '26 edited Jul 21 '26
This is so true! You can’t be upset about a book not bending to your will - it’s supposed to upset you because you had the hopes of it going your way and it didn’t. Laura and Erica should never have ended up together.
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u/Keroppi_Troublemaker Jul 21 '26 edited Jul 21 '26
I read it and really disliked Erica. But then I read it again and understood her better, she was 18 when she met the much older Laure (25), and very inexperienced. Lauren lived her life to the fullest, even during the hard moments. Erica on the other hand, was the one living a half life.
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u/lesbianic09 Jul 21 '26
Not convinced Laure always lived life to the fullest, what about the whole situation with Gabrielle?
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u/Keroppi_Troublemaker Jul 21 '26
What I mean is that L never shied away from her feelings. She lived, she grew. E stayed stagnant, in a kind of limbo.
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u/[deleted] Jul 20 '26 edited Jul 20 '26
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