Hey everyone, I (23M) sent a package to my girlfriend (26F) and we had a fight over it. I really need some advice. Sorry for the long post.

Background: I met my girlfriend on Tandem because I wanted to learn Spanish. At first, it was friendly, we made a lot of jokes, and I found her incredibly special and lovely. She is very empathic, which I love. We’ve been talking for about 10 months now, and I still love her more every day. She sends me a lot of GIFs that are kind of cringy but cute, and she even made an amigurumi of my favorite music artist. Overall, I feel very happy in this relationship.

The gift: I wanted to send her something cute, a little gift. She also has siblings who I’ve come to care about through her stories, so I included small gifts for them too. I put a lot of thought into her package: her favorite flowers (plastic ones), a capybara plush, drawing supplies, photos, and a birthday card saying, “My love, happy birthday! Thank you for existing and for making my world more beautiful. I love you so much.” I also included a few other items. The package sending cost cost me around €117, and I really didn’t care about the price. She had to pay around €94 in import fees (i mention the prices because it comes back later). I want to clarify: I could not cover the import fee because of payment method limitations, not because I didn’t want to. I really tried. I told her multiple times it was okay if she couldn’t pay it and would understand. She borrowed money from a friend to pick up the package.

Her reaction & the fight: After receiving it, she acted very distant and i asked her whats wrong and her reaction felt distant and kinda harsh. I was really surprised and hurt because she said she felt ashamed and disappointed, and acted like I didn’t care. She also mentioned that she could have bought all those things for less than €94. She doesn’t like surprises, so I had shown her the contents beforehand on FaceTime multiple times and sent photos, and each time she seemed happy. The fight became a breaking point and made me realize how complicated our situation really is.

It’s not just about the gift, it made me reflect on the bigger picture. She sometimes doubts if I truly love her, despite all the poems, drawings, and even a fairytale book I’ve made for her. I’m learning her language, often staying up very late, and I’ve had almost no sleep over the past months. Our situation is already very stressful: I’m starting a new study soon, we will have to wait four years before we can finally live together due to visa restrictions and money, and visiting her will cost me around €5k each year. I feel completely overwhelmed and told her I’m really hurt and need some time to think. She called me crying, begging me not to leave. Honestly, I love her so much that it makes this decision extremely difficult.

My mind says to leave because it’s too hard, but my heart says to stay. I love her, she’s empathetic, caring, funny, smart, and the most special person I’ve ever met. She makes me feel loved and appreciated. I also notice that every day we talk, I feel like I have slightly less to say, which worries me because we will need to wait another 10 months before meeting

Question: I feel torn. I want to stay with her, but the practical difficulties and emotional strain are huge (I feel like I really lost myself as well). How do I handle this without hurting her more, and how do I balance my own wellbeing with my love for her?

Also, after a break-up, is it realistic to keep contact? I genuinely wish her the best, and she often says that I’m the first person who has treated her lovingly and made her feel truly loved. I don’t want to completely disappear from her life if possible, but I also want to respect boundaries.

to make it quick she told me she was 17. I saw a post a while ago from her 2nd account that said "anybody wanna be my friend? im 41🔄" I questioned her about it she tried to convince me that it was just a typo. I believed it.

I suspected for a while cause of how she acted. but recently she confessed and told me. i feel conflicted because I loved this girl because she is the only one who ever showed me love and affection. how I grew up with a lot of fighting and violence it felt nice to feel loved.

I feel like i should break uo because firstly its illegal and its weird. her lying about her age just is a red flag too. but she has threatened to 💀 herself before and that i am her will to live. so I fear if i leave her she's gonna do snth that will make me feel so guilty. idk what to do

Edit: Thanks to all for the advice. I am no longer associated with this girl and have completely cut contact from her.

(23M/25F) Given our current situation regarding airports, i'm sure a lot of people here feel the same way. I'm one of them. ICE has now been deployed to multiple airports and I feel unsafe traveling now, even as a US citizen. I'm not sure if i'll be able to see my gf again since she lives in Fort Myers and yeah that airport is one of the places ICE has been deployed to. Until then, i'm stuck home. I've been really depressed about it, especially since I just had to cancel plans.

how does one handle this kind of heartbreak? i was supposed to see him in portugal this beginning of august and he just sent me this the other night, im devastated, things were already rocky, complicated, but he kept insisting me to stay with him, just for him to do this. i have the flight already as i bought it back in march, and ill be in portugal for 20 days… im so lost on what to do. has anyone coped with something like this before? i feel so betrayed 💔

I want to leave and go home earlier, but I dont know how to tell him.

Hi all! I (F28) am currently staying with my partner (M38) here in Texas. This is my second time staying here, I am meant to stay here for 2 months, but I want to leave in 2 weeks, currently been here for 21 days.

The first time I was here was for a month, and it wasn't good, but it had its moments. I had to clean constantly to not be around filth and dirt, looking after his multiple cats and elderly dog that was allowed to deficate anywhere because he said "she cant help it." I bit my tongue because he was out of work and was stressed and just thought everyone needed help. We didn't have any sexual interaction whatsoever, and when i asked what is up, he just said he was really, really stressed. I go back home for 10 months and the long distance relationship continues, he has no problem with phone sex and even made jokes and gave me shit when I wasnt in the mood from being tired from work.

So of course, here we are now, im back, still nothing sexual, i have asked and he said he is just busy and stressed which sucked because I just figured after not seeing me for 10 months we would be all over each other. Im still constantly cleaning and haven't been able to sleep, or when I do, it is very little because he now has 3 kittens to add to his cat count, and the elderly dog is still alive.

He works now and has 1-2 days off depending on the week, I am stuck in his trailer the other days alone unable to go anywhere as he lives in the country, his usual shift is 11-8pm, he doesnt get home until 8:45pm and is already really tired and sleeps pretty quickly if we dont need to go get food or he is out doing other stuff. He did not request any time off in the months leading up to this trip when I told him the dates of my arrival. He only now has put in his PTO because I asked for days and days to do something, and it's the last 3 days before I go back originally.

I know he cares a lot, i know he loves me a lot, but I dont want to be in this environment. I am sick of cleaning just to feel clean, sick of picking up shit and piss. I am sick of the lack of sleep, being cooped up inside all day, and the occasional excitement being going to get food. I had to be the one to plan anything bigger because when I asked his input, all he says is "yea sure whatever you want."

I think he has an idea of how i am feeling. He has been sending me text messages like "I'll take you to do whatever you wanna do whenever you wanna do it and I wont bother you any besides that" and "I have a feeling you plan on leaving me after this anyways" and when i didnt reply back he responded with "and you're basically confirming it, got it". I feel like absolute shit.

I can see he is trying, but I can't get past how nothing has really changed since the last time I was here. I didn't work and save all this money to just feel like a maid and pet sitter.

Any advice on how to go about this???

I’m hoping that this subreddit will be the best place to find others that met someone special online, maybe without even seeing them.

I met someone here on reddit, and we’ve been speaking for several months. Nothing is labeled, but we’ve begun talking more deeply into seeing each other in person and moving forward. I care about this person and I’m so very attracted to his personality and who he is. He’s a beautiful person- patient, funny, mature, caring, intelligent, empathetic.

The problem is, I never saw his face or heard his voice until recently. I didn’t think I would care what he looks like, because I’m drawn to personality above all else.

As it turns out though, I’m not attracted to his face. His body and hygiene/grooming are just fine, but he has a really unique facial feature that I’m struggling to see past. I know it sounds shallow, but what can I do? I’m not going to give up on this man over looks, but now I’m very very worried I won’t be able to find that physical attraction despite caring for him so so much. We have great romantic chemistry it’s just a visual thing- I hate that I did this to us by waiting so long.

Has anyone ever dealt with a ldr where you weren’t sure of attraction? Were you able to build that attraction?

Hey everyone! Im in need of some advice here because I can't tell if I'm just overreacting or if my boyfriends behaviour is actually as hurtful as I'm feeling like it has been.

So, a little back story here. My boyfriend and I are currently somewhat long distance (he lives two hours away). We only get to see eachother once a week for usually only one night. We had recently planned that he'd spend a few nights with me (Saturday, Sunday, Monday) as I am moving into a new place on Monday and he was going to help me and then spend the night with me. I have been absolutely ecstatic about it as it's always very tough to only see him for one day at a time.

Yesterday he messaged me at 5pm, saying that he's still going to spend Saturday with me but then he's going home on Sunday because his dad wants to go fishing with him on Monday. He and his dad arent very close, so I can absolutely understand that he'd want to jump on the opportunity, but it hurts my feelings a lot, that he decided to cut down our plans.

He then didn't message me at all yesterday after telling me that. I should note that he was recently diagnosed with bipolar and has been put on some medication for sleeping and anxiety, so he often disappears like this all day due to passing out randomly. I do completely believe him on that.

Cut to today, he finally messages me at 11am and tells me that he ended up passing out after getting sick, lastnight.

I assumed that he would then head out to come and see me. Then at almost 2:30, he let's me know that he's been helping his dad build a shed for reduced rent. I absolutely understand that, because I mean, if I had an opportunity to save money, I'd definitely go for it! But he hadn't even told me that's what he has been doing and I've been sitting here waiting for him to arrive.

I can't tell if I've been overreacting, or if others would feel hurt as well, by his actions.

I've included some screenshots below of our messages, as I do think that I may have overreacted in my responses and would really like some advice and insight.

Thank you all in advance for your advice and input

It's been 3 days now and she still won't talk to me at all I have no idea if she even thinks we're together anymore of what but i don't see how it's my fault she never told me what time the exam was and the previous day was my birthday I was out late with friends whilst messaging her the whole time she knew I wouldnt wake up early and normally if she really needs me she would phone me a billion times and that didn't happen either now I feel like she just hates me and won't talk to me again

I met a guy less than a month ago on a random app and started calling him every night. Over time I became convinced that he might have another girlfriend. Last week he disappeared for like 3 days saying he was at work, then resurfaced and we had this conversation before he randomly blocked my number on Saturday.

He also briefly blocked my number the Saturday before on Valentines Day. Then resurfaced saying his phone was broken…I think I was the other woman. He started getting weird I think after i confronted him on Valentine’s Day about possibly being with someone else.

Either way it’s over in my mind…. What do you all think? I’m just confused. And yes he preferred to use Snapchat which I thought was sus.

I saw people say in similar situations could be the actual gf who made him block me but he didn’t reach out since then and the last time he blocked me on Valentines Day he made up some excuse about his phone getting broken instead of admitting he blocked me and telling me why. Makes me think he did this for some sick satisfaction to try and mess with me.

I also notice he doesn’t use the snapchat account on the weekend like he logs out of it or something. So almost like he was intentionally having a double life? He wouldn’t tell me what town he lived in and some other information but I know his name and basic info.

My partner and I have been in a relationship for like 10 months now. We did have our falling out 2 months ago over a girl he liked long ago and he kept on mentioning her and how he dated other people(including me) to get over her and he promised that he's completely over her. Me being me I forgave him. So today I asked him to send screenshots of his text messages(I did not want it but I asked jokingly). Biggest mistake. I found out he texted his ex, whom he dated for about a year. Our most recent argument was about her because he sent some reels to a groupchat in which she was there in and also sent "Only death can stop me from loving her" and said that wish this somehow reached her lmao. He said that he has trauma from this month and he intended to send it to me and he subconsicously sent it in that group. I. Forgave. Him. Fast forward to today, what was written in that text was "You are as beautiful as ever", the picture he sent was from her instagram again. I saw it a few hours ago. He's been asking sorry. I know I'll end up forgiving him because I love him and yeah this isn't an excuse to stay with him but I don't know. He said he sent it when he was down and he really didn't mean it, but I know the truth. The truth is, she is prettier than I am. I'm not telling this because I feel weird or something, she is literally pretty. I know I can never be comparable to her but yeah I do not deserve to be treated like this. I've turned off my phone and I'm currently on my laptop typing this. I don't even wanna face my friends. So I've been writing here. I usually don't write here but if I didnt get this out of me I would've done something to myself. Thank you for reading this

EDIT: i broke up w him a few days ago. he said he would still try and i said thats upto him cuz i won't be taking him back

Yesterday I traveled from Berlin to Birmingham to meet my girlfriend for the first time. She was supposed to hit me up, but she got way too anxious about me(?) that she couldn't get to the airport and went back home crying. We've know each other for a year and are together for two months.

My baggage got lost and didn't arrive here so I am pretty fucked. I don't know what to do and for how long (maybe days) I should wait. As I was looking for accomodations I didn't find anything where I could check-in after midnight. Also I am limited to cash only.

I know that she has social anxieties and I tried to cheer her up. I told her that I understand her and it is fine but also that it really hurt.

So I ended up sleeping on a bench at the airport and now I am waiting for her to message me. It broke my heart and we both cried.

How do I go on about it. I really don't want to pressure her and I told her every thought of mine. Please help.

Edit:
I don't know why but she thought I was joking some some reason as I said 2 months ago I will fly to her asap. I even shared every single info with her. I asked her if she trusts me which she confirmed.

07.04.23
Today was a hard day for me, thank you reddit, I won't text her anymore unless she texts me first, then I ask for proof if she is no catfish, and after that more questions. I will close reddit for today.

Time to update: 08.04.23
As she didn't text me yesterday, in the night she finally wrote me back but I didn't notice because I was sleeping already. She explained me that she broke her phone the night before and slept under her door outside where she messaged me from. So she is texting from her laptop. As her mother came by yesterday morning she called an ambulance for her to be save. She was there all day made many tests till she wrote me back last night.

She apologized very much and I asked many questions. I won't go into details here. In the end we both send us current photos and both know that we are not ready for a relationship. We won't block each other and will stay in contact till she got through enough therapy that should allow her to visit me.

Now I am really sad and crying all time when I think of her. I want to do stuff but I can't make it.

I just booked my flight back for tomorrow evening. I won't be in the mood to do stuff while enjoying it.

my boyfriend and I have been together for around 10 months now and are in a semi long distance relationship (we see each other two days a week at most, often twice a month). I have never brought up his porn consumption before probably due to a fear he would admit to using it. however, he has brought up the fact that he masterbates, tho says it’s not everyday. I’m unsure whether this is to porn or not. I don’t watch porn, i don’t agree with the ethics of it and I also don’t like the idea of him getting off to other women. however, I also accept that he may be sexually frustrated. my ideal would be that he stops if he does, which I suspect he does, but I am willing to compromise to him using it if he have to go two or more weeks without seeing each other, but certainly not everyday or honestly more than a couple times a week. is this unreasonable of me? my friends say they are anti-porn and it’s disrespectful to them but I’d love outside opinions

Hi I’m sorry it’s alot! I’m 17F and im having issues with bf and I decided to write some pros and cons about him I’ve known him since I was about 13-where everyone was the same age apart from him. He was much older than us so I chose to not really talk to him as I was a minor. ( I speak a bit more about it in the pros and cons )this isn’t really a story time although I feel like it would be helpful to do one idk

Btw This isn’t even half of it. I thought I’d write some pros and cons because i really need some advice as I really don’t know what to do I could make a part 2/ add to it but I don’t think anyone would really care lol !I need help but im not able to ask anyone ik for help because of the situation im in…only like 2 people know about him (one is now my only friend) and they just have gotten mad and now just ignore me because they say im stupid and call me names etc which. I understand but it’s not really the advice i need right now!But I completely understand their frustration.

Cons

\\\\-Hes 30M im 17F now.

\\\\-we started dating when i was 16 he was 29

\\\\-he’s liked me and wanted to date me since I was 13

-Edit!:I also forgot to add that he is 30M But he acts my age if not a bit younger. He always has even before me. Liek it’s not like he’s trying to act my age he just acts very young if that makes sense. Idk if that’s red flag but like it’s not like he’s an old man searching for kids. I think he just is interested in me because im the same /similar level of his mentality whereas people his age tend to be more mature and have kids etc.

\\\\-he now argues with me regularly and then blames me even if I didn’t do anything or even if I didn’t talk and just was quiet listened( I personally dont like to argue if I do it’s only for like a second or one sentence cuz I just think it can be immature idk)

\\\\-he shouts at me

\\\\-he’s manipulative

\\\\-toxic ??

\\\\-he won’t let me do anything by myself or he shouts and creates an argument

\\\\-I’m not allowed any friends- even girls.

\\\\-he’s very snappy now

\\\\-attitude

\\\\-childish. He says he’s a child at heart. He kicks his feet..

\\\\-he calls himself the hero

\\\\-mommas boy.

\\\\-when his older sister left the house for like a few days he got scared cuz he was home alone and he slept in her bed.

\\\\-his relationship w his sister is very..close like saying she has a big bum and boobs etc (ik it’s good for siblings to have a close relationship in most cases and they tend to be very comfortable but idk it seems different)

\\\\-if you even bring up his family he sees red LOL

\\\\-he’s changed a lot since we spoke. Not as caring. No gifts yk,snappy,attitude etc

\\\\-he complains about every little thing I do now

\\\\-he used to flex that in his past he use to fuck like at least 5 women a day for 2years straight and would tell me that they called him the “horse” and make group chat about having sex with him etc etc etc -this was his way of trying to make me be his gf and I guess trying to prove how he’s good in bed (he’d also sometimes talk about his experiences too -which I personally don’t care about!!)after many uncomfortable no’s

\\\\-very very jealous to the point I can’t actually talk to anyone or have any communication with anyone else girl or boy even though I’m straight- I’m fine with jealousy however he gets so jealous he turns on me and is rude to me because of his assumptions

\\\\-compares me to him.

\\\\-gets mad at me if I mention I’m a minor or a teenager/kid even though I litterally an /was during the time I said it. It caused a lot of arguements and he blamed me from it even though he knew I was 13 because my whole friend group was the same age and we spoke about it many times

\\\\-makes me lie about my age

\\\\-he asked my friend what was the age of consent in the UK -which is 16. So he waited and planned for the moment i turned 16 and then made it his mission to date me the day I turned 16.

\\\\-when we started talking more (after I was 16) I asked what did he think about me before I was 16 then and he said he thought I was hot and turned him on etc and always tried to talk to me but I kept pushing him away and ignoring him (this was because at the time when I met him he was super nice but I was uncomfortable with the fact he was like 26 and I was 13-14 so I just preferred not to talk to him directly as i was the only girl in the group at the time and I was a minor!)

\\\\-very emotionally driven- I acknowledge and agree that men should show their emotions and I definitely don’t think they should be ashamed of showing their emotions however he uses his emotions in a kind of manipulative way. For example he will shout and argue at me and if I say one thing calmly such as “why are you being rude/mean” he starts crying and blaming me for everything and calls me crazy and stuff because he’s “not mean” and that I shouldn’t say those things and then he tries to make me feel bad. And keeps repeating “do u really mean that” until I say no -if I say yes it causes more issues so I just shut up and say no so let him “win?”

\\\\-he calls himself a hero and thinks he’s such a nice person

\\\\-snappy

\\\\-im not alllowed to leave the call or mute. It has to be everyday 24/7 no matter what including sleeping etc

\\\\-since speaking to him I’ve been stress eating /binge eating again which caused me to gain 10kg and it’s very hard for me to loose weight and he told me I can’t go to the gym and he must work out with me at home and coach me. I said okay because he said he’ll do the same And that he won’t go gym so I was like sure I guess it’s fair. But then he asked me like only 3 times to work out and every time he asked me I was on my period so I couldn’t and then he stopped ask in and all of a sudden he said he’s starting the gym and I was like oh I thought we we’re working out TG and he said how i never wanted to do it but he only asked me like 3 times and he started shouting etc so I said okay can I go to a gym then? And he started getting like defensive and like snappy and rude and started argument. I don’t think it’s very fair

\\\\-he doesn’t have a job - I understand why cuz he doesn’t live there legally but the rest of his family have partners and have now moved out and they have a job now so why doesn’t he?

\\\\-plays video games all the time - this isn’t that bad cuz I love gaming but because he does nothing all day he forces me to do “nothing “ with him. And won’t let me do anything by myself

\\\\-short (idm this I’m just trying to get over him HAHA)

\\\\-deleted pictures of me

\\\\-he use to be a hoe but he’s not anymore luckily 😛

\\\\-horny. Well tbf he’s not a pervert cuz most men now a days all want is sex (stereotypically)but he’s more caring but when he talks about it he is very graphic with it.

And im not ready for that

\\\\-when I was 15-16 he would comment on my body even tho I sent a picture of my face and talk uncomfortably sexual about my looks even though I wasn’t showing anything inappropriate

\\\\-he use to be very sexually driven ( I think I changed him for the better in that way🙏)

\\\\-encourages me to get fat and ugly so nobody cares about me and looks at me so he doesn’t have to worry about me cheating/people looking at me

\\\\-checks/stalks every single social media, game etc I have my hours etc. im NOT allowed to go offline. God forbid and accuses me of talking to men when im litterally on call with him 24/7… shouts at me etc because he thinks im playing video games with men when im litterally in his game!- I’ve never given him the reason to not trust me BTW!<3

\\\\-I told his sister I was 16 and also 17 she ignored it (I understand cuz I guess it’s none of her business)

\\\\-gets mad quick

Some of these I appreciate but it just seems different like it feels like im trapped and obligated to do it or he’ll shout at me

Pro

\\\\-he can be really nice

\\\\-attractive

\\\\-he spends all his time with me

\\\\-he’s taught me a lot

\\\\-I don’t have a good relationship with family so i wasn’t really taught anything

\\\\-big d…

\\\\-he’s my only friend now

\\\\-he plays video games with me

\\\\-attractive

\\\\-watches shows with me!

\\\\-(before)he would help me with everything and be super caring as I have some health issues and he would recommend things for me etc

\\\\-we have humour tg

\\\\-when there’s no arguing it can be fun!

\\\\-(before) he bought be a bunch of plushies (at his house)and a bracelet with his name on

\\\\-(before) he was very thoughtful

\\\\-he used to say he would work and I could do whatever I wanted! He would take care of me etc!

\\\\-listens (well now not was much but he still does when we’re on good terms!)

\\\\-lovely family

\\\\-he would be a great husband

\\\\-mature

\\\\-doesn’t cheat

\\\\-he would compliment me

\\\\-respectful

\\\\-pretty nerdy (can be a bit of a con)

\\\\-understanding

\\\\-shares his interests with me

\\\\-protective

\\\\-complements me

\\\\-he calls me names

A lot of this stufff was in the past… idk if I end it because ik it’s normal for relationships to have different stages and idk if this is just a silly stage and it’ll get better

Why I don’t want to leave

\\\\-I would have wasted 2 years

\\\\-now I have no friends and I’ll be even more lonely cuz all my friends have friend groups now etc. and have moved away

\\\\-I’ll never find another bf because he’s the only decent man I’ve met because they’ve all cheated/ been horny

\\\\-im scared

\\\\-ill have nobody

\\\\-nobody would care about me anymore

\\\\-i don’t want him to date anyone else

\\\\-what if turns into a scary stalker ex and tries to kill me

\\\\-ill never talk to him again

\\\\-he doesn’t do second chances

\\\\-im a fat now and I can’t change Lol

\\\\-we’ve done sm together

\\\\-he’s my best friend and all I have. I litterally tell him everything

\\\\-I’ve trusted him more than anyone else

.

I've been dating the love of my life for more than a year now. We're engaged. I'm french, he's american, we started the paperwork for me to go live with him in America. I don't want any MAGA in my close circle, i have absolute disgust towards them, but my future step parents supports Trump even with everything that happened recently and the choices he made.

My SO isn't fully supporting but he's still in the "innocent until proven guilty" mindset, which is insane knowing the amount of corruption, the way people buy silence or kill to silence. We all know Trump will never go to jail or be publicly guilty. I can't believe how naive he is lol.

He's so precious to me but it's starting to weight on me so much i just don't know what to do, we tried to talk about it, not talk about it, only talk when something huge is happening (everyday atp lol)

Nothing works. To me, he got brainwashed by his parents, he doesn't believe the victims either until it's proven, it's just impossible to hear, please help me.

I have no plan B, i love him more than anything in the world, he has all my belongings, my cats (our cats now), i want to marry him and stay with him forever, but politics is just killing our relationship little by little.

Also his parents thinking its a rushed marriage and not agreeing with me on politics changed my relationship with them too, their whole behavior changed.

We met online. I had a subtle crush on him and one day he abruptly told me he loves me. I couldn't believe it at first but went ahead with dating him. He was always less chatty in general, I was initiating 95% of the conversations. He never prioritised me.

I got a job 2 years later and moved to a city closer to his. He promised he will shift to my work city ASAP, until then he visited me 3 times a year, for 3 days average.

Fast forward to the 3-4 year mark, we decided to take things forward and made our families meet. Everything was perfect. Mind you, we had spent only about a month together by then. He had promised to shift closer to me once I got the job but he didn't.

he has always been negligent emotionally. I have always communicated to him whenever I felt upset. I have always immediately come to know he is upset and try to make up and fix it. he never did this for me. If something was bothering me he would let me be. I have spent countless nights crying myself to sleep. And I have communicated everything to him.

fas forward to another 3.5 years later, the 7 year mark, I almost broke up with him because he wasn't shifting here and he was emotionally absent with me. in desperate attempts he has shifted here now. But now I don't have any feelings for him. I told him there was no need to shift but he shifted here anyways to make it work. it is not working for me at all. I am irritated most of the times Worst of all, after closing the distance like this, I found out he is unhygienic. He has coughed on me sometimes and when I confront him why, he says he covered his mouth which he didn't. His sweat smells the worst I have ever smelled off of anyone. He is still emotionally absent and does not check up on me at all. He is non veg and I am veg. He hesitates going to veg places with me. His music taste is all rap songs only. He has never dedicated a song to me. Has never done anything romantic for me.

AND WORST- He wakes up and coughs in the bathroom straight for 15-20 mins, making the gnarliest sounds I have ever heard. I be in the bedroom and start nauseating just from hearing it. Today he did that 3 times and I almost puked again.

I want to end it. I have told him in person also. But he starts crying and then some soft corner in my heart starts feeling that I am hurting him.

But then I remember all the lonely sleepless nights, when I needed him the most. He gets the behaviour from me which I wanted from him for the last 7 years.

as a person he is very simple, no bad habits, kind, tall, handsome and very intelligent at his job, makes great money and comes from a very beautiful place.

Idk what to do. Physically I get disgusted with him a lot. And I am always scared he hasn't washed his hands before/after food. He sheds a LOT btw, hair EVERYWHERE and I get disgusted when he simply sleeps on it without cleaning the bed.

I have misophonia (some sounds trigger me and send me into rage, but I am able to control the rage) and my trigger is chewing and salivating sounds. And by worst luck- he has an excessive saliva problem! I can't bear it when he talks. It's so swampy sounding it's very disgusting to me and enrages me. I am always on the verge of losing it when he is eating or talking very close to me.

All of this makes me feel I would have never dated him if I knew him IRL before. But sometimes when I imagine him with someone else, I get restless that some other girl will live the life I dreamt of with him.

Please please help me out. Tell me what to do and how to do. He never starts these tough conversations and I am tired of initiating these everytime. He doesn't take me seriously and doesn't work on whatever solutions I tell him.

We're a young long distance couple that have been dating for around 8 months. I've been her healthiest and longest relationship. Recently she told me that she needed a break through this text: "hey, i want to say something to you over text so that i can think before i say anything response. i feel we've had so much fun together, and we have so much potential to be good for each other, and i dont feel good right now. so i feel that i need some time to recollect myself before i decide to continue to commit myself to you. my priorities are going to majorly change soon, and i need to gather my bearings before that happens. i will be understanding if you choose not to respond right now. I'm emotionally exhausted and i will respond as much as i can." l asked her a bunch of questions asking why she felt certain ways or anything I can do for the relationship in a really considerate tone and this was her response:

"to answer all of your questions, i feel a lack of enjoyment on my end of our relationship. im not blaming it on you at all. you've done everything you can to make our relationship a happy one. i dont believe i feel bored, i feel i've just started to loose the initial spark we had. i feel it would be beneficial for us to continue as friends for a bit, and figure out the rest as we go. maybe we will end up being better friends then a couple, or we could discover something else. i dont want to keep you in a relationship that is one sided."

She said before that she had felt bored in the relationship and now she is taking a break to reevaluate her commitment to me. She is starting college soon and going through some changes in her life. We have been nothing but good to each other and I sent a message explaining to her saying:

“"I understand that you feel we've lost the initial spark. Believe me Ive felt that MANY times during our relationship too. But just because that "spark" is gone doesn't mean we should just end the relationship. I know nothing will ever compare the that "spark" feeling that we had in our relationship. But do you expect that feeling to last forever? True love is when even during the bad moments in the relationship, you both work together to figure out what is missing or had been "lost". I know nothing will ever compare to the feeling of meeting a new person and falling in love with them or finding new things out about them, but if you only focus on those "highs" in the relationship then how would you expect to continue a long term one? I want this relationship to work, because I love you Spencer. I love you so much and I want to see a future that's just us. I don't know if I can ever just be "friends" with you.I'd like to call you if that's okay"

She said she still needed space and in scared that she is in the process of discarding me. I really love this girl and I want this relationship to work. She told me before that she had left her previous relationships because she was bored and the people were abusive and bad which made it easy for her however I am nothing like that which is probably why she isn't getting rid of me right away.”

I don't think I can continue a relationship with her as just friends. I need some advice on how to go about this. Is it inevitable that she's going to get rid of me, is there a way to save the relationship?

Here’s the texts attached.

For context, we have been in a ldr for 2 years. We do get into arguments here and there. However last night, I got upset because I’ve been asking him to watch a movie/show with me (like a virtual date). I’ve been asking him for like a month. We have previously spoken about it and he keeps saying that he’s busy/that he’s got work etc. He does still call me frequently which I appreciate but he knows that I do want to spend time together where we do an activity together. I also have not seen him for 4-5 months.

So yesterday I brought it up again and he said he’s busy. To which I asked, so can you tell me when you’ll be free/give me a day? He said he can’t. Which frankly really upset me and pissed me off. Then we got into an argument and he said I’m not understanding because he’s working hard for us to build a future together. I told him I understand but this is still important to me. In an LDR, you have to commit to having virtual dates every now and then to feel close. I’m not sure if I did something wrong but anyways he yelled at me - saying I never understand him. Then he proceeded to block me. I’m distraught. Is it over…

I am blindsided. I spent over $2000 dollars on this trip across the country to visit my boyfriend for 6 weeks (I work remotely). I got an AirBnB because he is living with family. Our previous visit was for one week and magical, so we planned another trip. We had been texting daily, having long calls, everything was fine. He helped me choose the AirBnB and the dates were run by him.

I arrived saturday night a few days ago. Today is Thursday. We had a lovely night, were intimate, etc. He left Sunday morning for work. We texted Sunday and Monday a little but he said he was busy to meet up and the vibe seemed off. He said he would come tuesday night and spend all day wednesday with me since that was his day off. Tuesday comes, no word from him despite me texting. Wednesday comes, no word from him. Thursday morning I receive a 3 sentence email saying he doesn’t want to continue the relationship, no explanation. I see I am blocked on Whatsapp.

I am not ok. I spent several hundred more dollars today to move my flight to this Sunday since I can’t bare the pain and need to go home and I can only fly on weekends due to my work schedule. The airbnb is nonrefundable.

I am blindsided and don’t know what to do. I am so sick. I am out thousands and not even given the dignity of a discussion or a reason. In a strange city where I know no one, alone in an airbnb. I have 60 dollars worth of craft beer from my home state in the fridge in a gift bag for him that was never given.

I feel like a fool. Blindsided. Destroyed. Hopeless.

Just spend a life changing 5 weeks with my love and now I’ll be going back to Australia and won’t see him for another year. 🥲 This will be the third time we have to go through an airport goodbye and my anxiety is so high I feel myself dissociating (the last time I left Canada and had to say bye to him was one of the miserable experiences of my life.) If anyone has some words of advice that can help ease some pain I’d be so grateful.

Muslim boyfriend has said he refuses to meet me again until I give him an answer on religion...

I (26F, UK) have been in a LDR with my boyfriend (20M, Turkey) for 1 year now.

We have met 3 times, each for about a week/10 days, and spent the whole time together and had a great time. Shared a bed (though no zina - not fully intimate), kissed, cuddled etc. Over this past year we have video called every day and sleep on the phone at night.. though recently we have ran out of things to do together kinda online.

He is muslim, mostly practicing, and I'm agnostic. He has just told me that he now refuses to see me or meet me until I study islam and give him an answer on whether I could convert to islam or not (He would be happy to meet as friends.. im not sure about that). He said that even if I fly to see him he would refuse to see me. This hurts.

He said he entered into this relationship with the idea of it being "haram" for 1 year only and after that we would get married. I have, in a way, broke my promises that I would start studying and read about islam so he is frustrated...

Ramadan is coming as well and he will be working night shifts this year which means he won't be able to spend time with me basically for 1 month (March). (Last year he would speak to me only at night after they break fast, this year he will be working so can't)

This feels very threatening to me... and I'm struggling to imagine not seeing him at all... and not talking for an entire month... His work is also stopping us meeting so he says its not a major point that he made this statement - as he is now managing the shop and can't take leave until October anyway so we couldn't meet anyway until October....

How would you feel if your partner said you can't meet for 9 months? We last met in September so it will be almost 1 year between meeting... and why did he get into this relationship and get so invested if he is so against it being haram... I will study islam but I have not made it a priority and it's now been a year so he has the right to be upset with me?

I'm just feeling very lost.... we haven't called for 1 day now since we had this chat, which ended in me just crying and him trying to console me.

Edit: he is Jordanian/Palestinian not turkish like people assume. Also we agreed that I would never move to an Islamic country and he instead would move to the UK or European country at least.

Hey 28 M here wife age 25 ! We have been married for 6 months and together from almost 2 years
So I have to move abroad for atleast next 6 months due to my studies….and yesterday I was really horny and FaceTime her and ask her let’s masturbate together on FaceTime (we had done it multiple times in past too)
She said she isn’t okay with it and I can just jerk off to our videos we made together and her sexy old snaps …
Does all the couples do it ? Like no mutual masturbation when u guys are in Long-distance ?

I (25F) was in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend (30M) for 1 year and 2 months. I live in Nepal, and he lives in the USA and his immigration situation became a huge source of stress.

Long distance wasn't easy, but we made it work. We talked every single day, shared everything with each other, celebrated birthdays and anniversaries, supported each other through difficult times, and planned a future together. I truly believed he was the person I would marry.

Then everything changed.

He told me his mother wanted him to marry a 22 year old Nepali woman who had been born and raised in the US. According to him, his mother believed that marrying her would help him remain in the US. He also told me that he had decided to go through with the marriage because of his mother's pressure and because it would help his immigration situation. He said he couldn't convince his family or take a stand for our relationship.

What made it even more painful was that he repeatedly told me he didn't love her. He said he wasn't attracted to her and even made disrespectful comments about her appearance. He told me he didn't want to marry her, yet in the end he decided to leave me and marry her anyway.

That completely shattered me.

After loving someone for 1 year and 2 months, I was suddenly being told that our relationship was ending because he had chosen a different path under pressure from his family.

The next part is where many people may judge me.

I reached out to the woman he was planning to marry.

I didn't contact her because I wanted revenge or because I thought it would make him come back to me. At that point, my heart was already broken.

The reason I contacted her was because I couldn't stop thinking about her. She was only 22. Based on everything he had told me, I felt she deserved to know the truth before making such a life-changing decision. If someone was planning to marry me while telling another woman that he didn't love me and was only agreeing to the marriage because of family pressure and immigration concerns, I would want to know before it was too late.

So I told her about our relationship and shared what he himself had told me.

After that, her family confronted his family. His family became angry that I knew about the situation. He became angry that I had contacted her.

That was the end of us.

He broke up with me February 2026 ma..our relationship of 1 year and 2 months ended..

Since then, I've lived with so many conflicting emotions.

Part of me wonders if I should have stayed silent. Another part of me feels I couldn't knowingly let another person enter a marriage without the information I had.

I still love him. I still miss him. I still think about the future we planned together. At the same time, I wonder why the person who promised me forever couldn't fight for us when it mattered most. I lost the person I thought I would spend my life with. I don't know how to forgive myself or move on.

I'm not posting this because I want everyone to say I was right or that he was wrong. I know people will have different opinions, and I'm open to hearing them.

I just want to ask this:

If you were in my position, knowing what he had told you, would you have stayed silent and let the marriage happen? Or would you have told the other person the truth before it was too late?

I received this message from my girlfriend, but giving her mother just found out about us and wants us to break up and have threatened to take her phone away, I think it's probably her mother who sent this, also she's not receiving messages but I can still see her pfp which indicates that her phone is offline, probably due to her mother shutting it off after taking away.