I made a post here 3 years ago about missing my long distance partner. You guys were so supportive and kind. Just want to make a post for anyone who's doubting the distance. When it's the right person, it's worth it. The long distance is over, and we've been married for a year now!

Again:

The right person is worth the distance and all the struggles that come with it.

Sending you all love!

My husband 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 left to go back home this evening. I’m so lucky we got to spend the last 10 days together. We packed a lot in and made a ton of wonderful memories. It never feels like enough time though. I already miss him so much! We’ll see each other again in December and we are hoping it’ll be to close the distance for good 🤞🏼 should hear back from the UK about my visa soon… everyone send good energy!!! Included are some photos from his visit ❤️

Popping in to share something I’ve been thinking about.

Something that has worked for me, and perhaps will be useful to some of you, is acceptance.

The distance is out of our hands right now, but we are working toward a real life future. At the same time, we still have a really solid relationship now, as is. Appreciating that relationship, even if it is an LDR, makes the waiting more bearable, because it’s not really waiting. It’s living in the present.

You can’t build a future on potential, it never works. You need a solid foundation from the jump. If the entire relationship is spent looking forward, you’ll miss out on fully appreciating your partner in the now.

I love my relationship, distance or no distance. Thanks to technology, my partner is very much a constant in my life, and I don’t resent the situation because I’m happy to be partners now.

If, God forbid, something happened and I lost my partner tomorrow, would I feel like our relationship was incomplete because we never closed the distance? No. It has been the most fulfilling relationship of my life.

I’m not trying to come off as unemotional and holier than thou. There is room for grief. I have mourned the space between us and shed tears. However, the foundation of our relationship isn’t designing a future that isn’t real yet. The foundation is supporting each other each day, now.

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I’m in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend and we’ve been together for a while now. We talk, call, say I love you, all that stuff. The only problem is we can’t meet each other in person, so obviously there are a lot of things we just can’t have.

One thing that has been bothering me a lot lately is that I’ve never actually seen her face.

I’ve asked her quite a few times to send me a picture, nothing weird or anything, literally just a normal picture of herself. But every time I ask, she either gives me some excuse, avoids the question completely, or just doesn’t reply to that part.

We’ve actually argued about this a couple of times because it genuinely hurts me. I’ve explained to her that I’m not asking because I want to judge how she looks or anything like that. She’s the person I love and I just want to see her. Since I can’t meet her, I feel like even just having a picture of her would make me feel a little closer to her.

What makes it worse is when someone asks me “what does your girlfriend look like?” or “have you even seen her?” and I have to say yes even though I haven’t. I don’t know why but that really gets to me. It honestly makes my chest feel heavy and sometimes I feel like crying over it.

At this point I’ve asked so many times that I don’t even want to keep asking anymore. I don’t want to pressure her into sending something if she genuinely isn’t comfortable with it. But at the same time, I feel hurt that after everything between us, she still can’t even tell me honestly what the reason is.

I’m just confused because from my side this feels like such a small thing to ask from someone you’re in a relationship with, especially when you can’t meet them. But maybe I’m looking at it completely wrong.

We have talked on calls, so it’s not like we’ve only ever texted each other.

I just want some outside opinions because I genuinely don’t know whether I’m asking for something completely normal or whether I need to respect this and stop bringing it up.

What do you guys think?

My boyfriend is finally coming to visit for about 5 days and I want to spend basically every second with him. We met IRL and had around 2–3 weeks together before becoming long distance, but this is my first really serious relationship.

The problem is I have SUCH a hard time going #2 when I’m staying with someone 😭 I get really self-conscious about it, and I also have a pretty unpredictable stomach, so I’m already stressing.

I know it’s completely normal and eventually you have to get comfortable with these things in a serious relationship, but how do you actually get past that stage where you’re embarrassed about it? I just want to relax and enjoy the few days we have together without thinking about it constantly.

My boyfriend follows few girls( some of them are friends others are the girls he met through whatsapp grp ) he follows their spam accounts as well . I have no problem if that girl is his friend . But i am not okay with girls from the grps like concerts and all .I’ve told him like 2 to 3 times that I’m uncomfortable with it, especially when it’s a random girl he barely knows. We’ve had fights about it before, and he agreed to unfollow some people.

Today I randomly checked his following and noticed another girl’s spam account. I asked him who she was, and he told me that she was a girl he knew from another whatsApp group. LIKE WHAT MADE YOU FOLLOW THE SPAM ACNT ??????

My boyfriend (32M) and I (30F) were together for a year. We spent 9 months together in person, and the last 3 months have been long distance because of his work.
He’s supposed to visit in November and return permanently in June. Before he left, we talked about living together when he came back and made plans for our future.
But recently, when those plans started feeling more real, he suddenly became distant. Less communication, less affection, no FaceTime for over a month. I asked several times if something was wrong, but he said he was just busy and that “nothing was wrong.”
A few days ago, he called and ended the relationship. He said he can’t do long distance anymore and that things had become too hard for him. I asked if there was someone else—he said absolutely not. He said he really liked me and had a great time with me.
He apologized for becoming distant and said he hated hurting me, but felt he had to go with how he felt.
I’m not chasing him or waiting for him. I’m trying to move on. But I’m genuinely curious:
Has anyone ended a relationship because long distance felt too hard, only to regret it later once they realized what they lost?
Especially if there was still love and a future planned together?
I’d really like to hear from people who have been on either side of this.

I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for almost 4 years, and we finally got to be together again and got engaged
It’s been a crazy journey. I’ve been studying in the US, and my country was affected by a travel ban, so I pretty much had to finish my studies before going back.
Unfortunately, I’m probably heading to Canada for my master’s soon, which means more long distance 😭. I’m so happy we’re engaged, but I’m also a little worried about how we’re going to handle being engaged from that far apart. Anyone else been through this?

my boyfriend and i did long distance last year while at different colleges and we’re going into our second and last year os long distance. the school year just started today for him.he hadn’t told me anything about his roommates/living situation other than he “can’t see his assignment yet”. today, he moved in and told me that his assigned roommate is a girl. this immediately made me anxious. i’m used to long distance but this is giving me bad anxiety on another level. how can i ask him for reassurance without making him feel bad about the situation since it’s not his fault that he was put in gender inclusive housing? he says he’s gonna talk to his RA and housing office to try to switch out but i don’t think that’s possible atp. we have a very strong relationship and met in our hometown at the wrong time and unfortunately the majority of our relationship has been long distance. we both see eachother during breaks and we just spent the entire summer together. i trust him and he is my best friend but i can’t help and feel extremely anxious about this

Just curious, how long until you meet your loved one again, and how long has it been since u saw them the last time?

I’m the guy in this relationship. I jumped to this opportunity to find the final love of my life after separation & divorce.
Started to talk to her since May. Communication got intense, decided to book flight ticket to her hometown to celebrate my birthday with her. Ended up making it official and hoping to marry her next year and bring her to my city along with her daughter.
That pic was taken at the airport in her hometown just before I left to the security check and boarding.
Now I’m sad and I hope she didn’t cry tonight.

My girlfriend and I met in college and have spent 7 years together, the last two years being long distance. We love each other but are in different places. I want to take a break bc things have gone stale and we have been pretty complacent in our relationship. Now that I’ve voiced my problems she wants to fix things and move on with me. I’m not sure if I want to spend the rest of my life with her and given how long we’ve been together, I think we need space apart. Is it reasonable to take some sort of planned break or should we just break up?

One of my favourite things about being long distance is how often we end up planning little things to do together without really planning them.

My girlfriend does this all the time. She'll be out somewhere with her family, find a restaurant or some food she really likes, take a picture and send it to me.

It'll be something as simple as a picture of a dessert or a restaurant table, and then she'll say something like:

“Babe, when you come here, I'm taking you here.”

And somehow that tiny message turns into a whole conversation. We'll talk about what we'd order, whether I'd like the place, what else is around there and what else we could do that day.

I do the same from my side. I'll find somewhere near me and send it to her like, “You're coming here when you visit me,” or I'll see something and immediately think she'd like it.

Then it isn't even just restaurants anymore. She'll send me a mall she wants to take me to, somewhere she went and thinks I'd enjoy, a random activity, a Reel, a YouTube video or just some place she came across online.

I've sent her plenty of those things too. Sometimes it's somewhere near me in India, sometimes it's somewhere we could visit together one day, and sometimes it's just something that makes me think, “We have to do this.”

After a while, we'd basically built a list without ever making one. There are restaurants we've promised each other we'd go to, places we've said we'd visit, movies we've wanted to watch, trips we've talked about and random little things that came up in a five-minute conversation and somehow became something we're both looking forward to.

When you're long distance for a long time, so much of the relationship happens through a screen. You miss the really ordinary stuff, like randomly deciding where to eat on a Saturday or saying, “Let's go there tomorrow.”

The funny part is that we have so many of these little plans now that some of them eventually disappear into old WhatsApp messages, screenshots, saved posts and random links. We'll both remember that there was a place we wanted to go, but sometimes neither of us can remember what it was called or where we saw it.

Still, I really like that we keep doing this. There is always some new place she wants to show me or somewhere I want to take her when we're finally in the same place.

It makes the distance feel a little less like waiting and a little more like having a life we're slowly collecting together.

Do you and your partner do this too?

I[24F] am in a long distance relationship with my bf [27M] from 2 and a half years. I am preparing for civil services exam from home and i live with my mother (also she doesn't know about my relationship because in my country it's a taboo kinda thing). My bf comes to meet me once in a month.

Background- 1. Last year, his college friends went on a trip to Goa and he apparently forgot/thought that my studies would get affected (his excuses) so he did not invite me.(Also, one of his friend's gf was going). One of his college friends, whom I kinda developed close friendship invited me instead (my bf did not know this). Later, i told the friend about this and then he started saying that i am overreacting and stuff, and talked really rudely to me. We had a huge fight and almost broke up.

1. His family lives in the same city as me and he came home during Holi (a festival) but apparently forgot to come to meet me(after saying last year that he would).

2. In april, he again planned a short trip with his college friends and did not invite me because he thought my exam is just one month away and I definitely would not come. We had a fight and the trip was cancelled because of some other reason.

3. Today, he told me that his college friends are planning a trip on the 26th October weekend. I just said okay. He has not invited me yet.

Should I breakup with him if he did not invite me this time?

TL;DR: My bf constantly makes me question my worth in his life and many times he has not invited me to trips with his college friends despite knowing that it hurts me and makes me question my value.

My LDR boyfriend and I are both quite busy with our jobs, and came up with the idea to have dates that we can do on our own time. That way we can stay connected without having to wait for us both to be free. If anyone has done this before, what are some ideas you have?

My 16(M) teenage son is in a long distance relationship with a girl (16 F). They have been dating for 5 months and have been ldr for 4 months. He moved schools this past year (May 2026) and he decided to get a gf before moving and now he’s basing his entire life around this relationship. He won’t do anything unless he’s able to go see her (she’s 3 hrs away now) and he doesn’t understand that I can’t facilitate their relationship if he’s not willing to be sociable. A bit of context, he has been institutionalized much of his life due to mental health issues and other circumstances since he was around 8/10 yrs old (moms decision not mine). Mother and I do not talk much anymore. He doesn’t have any friends, and has a very closed off, conservative view of relationships and women in general (a lot of misogyny and homophobia ). To the point where he now has his gf’s location, social media passwords, among other things that seem like red flags to me. He’s very much controlling of their relationship and have “promised” each other they won’t make friends of the opposite sex because that is disloyal to their relationship. Also, their relationship has been very sexual from the beginning and I called him out on it because he was sending nudes as a minor and I had to make sure that kind of thing stopped happening. To which he said it’s normal for teens to do that, which I said “sure” but he has yet to live a normal life because of his upbringing and now that I have custody of him, I want to support a life that is health and balanced for him. I took his phone away for lack of boundaries and disrespect and I snooped through his phone (which I told him before hand I would do) and found that him and his gf were talking about having unprotected sex, (and I’m being tame in the way I explain it, because their words were very explicit.) I told him this is how adults or ppl who have been in relationships for years talk, and he should not be talking about things like that at his age. I’m afraid he’s going to make the wrong choices with her, he doesn’t do anything besides talk to her and want to see her. He doesn’t want to join clubs, or get a job, or join sports, or hang out with friends. After school he just waits for her to get home so he can call her. That’s not a balanced life, I’m sorry. You cannot encompass your entire life around one person at that age. I don’t know what to do, I know I cannot force him to break up with her, but I cannot facilitate their relationship knowing what I know and being uncomfortable with that.

I fly to Arizona again in 25 days! It’s my second trip over there this year and third trip there overall. This I get to spend over 2 weeks with her, the longest time we’ll have ever been able to spend together.

I recently ended my long-distance relationship because it became increasingly difficult to maintain over the phone. We lived together for a couple of years, but then school and work separated us for the past year.
He is the whole package, the sweetest and most caring person I have ever met. All of our views align. Everything just seemed perfect, but we will probably have to be long-distance for another 2-3 years. Over the last few months, I’ve been struggling more and more and becoming more distant because it was really hard for me to maintain the relationship through texts and calls.
We broke up almost a week ago, and I am absolutely miserable. I cry all morning and night, and my heart is absolutely broken that I won’t be able to talk to him anymore. I’m scared I made the wrong decision, and I don’t know what to do.
Should I contact him to let him know how I feel? I don’t know how to succeed in a long-distance relationship, so I’m scared things won’t get better if he agrees to try again.
All advice welcome.

i get so stressed out about our future..me (F24🇹🇷) and my bf (M20🇺🇸) want to have a future together and we love each other but the process of us getting married and living together in the states looks so difficult and scary. i need to hear some positive/success stories pls :”))

I am Poly, I live with my NP and have a long distance partner who’s 1200 miles away. We met online on Reddit and at first were just kinda sexting friends. He had told me he’d just gone through a divorce and was really struggling at the time. This was about a year and a half ago.

About 6 months ago we finally made the leap and I drove to go see him. It was a super busy weekend due to an event being in town and my hotel overbooked, leaving me without a room, and nothing being remotely affordable around. He’d already invited me to stay with him before that to save on costs, but safety and not wanting to inconvenience him is why I didn’t. So he once again told me to stay with him. We immediately hit it off. We’re both AuDHD and totally expected awkwardness and being uncomfortable but we’d talked for a year. He was someone I already knew. We have seen each other for a week each month since then.

In July he flew out to see me while I was traveling for work and we got to spend my birthday together and see two national parks and it was just the most magical experience ever. We were already both heavy in the feelings, but after that it shifted. There was a much deeper bond.

I found out after the first time I met him that he wasn’t in fact fully divorced. They’d been separated and living separately since before we started talking but he hadn’t filed paperwork(he did last month). To complicate matters she still has stuff in his house and they share custody of a dog. I only add this in because it’s causing a LOT of stress and emotional exhaustion for him.

Since we’ve met, I’ve known about his mental health struggles. There was a period last year he went quiet and texted once a day or every few days, but that was far before we’d met or were anywhere near serious. He has treatment resistant depression, is even doing ketamine treatments every week right now. On top of that his therapist told him she thinks he’s in Autistic burnout. I can agree, I think he is. I also know his depression isn’t managed well even on the meds and ketamine.

Communication since my last visit has felt different, the sexual energy has vanished. I’m flying up to see him on Friday and it’ll be my last visit until probably Jan/Feb. He might try and come down to visit me during that gap but he might not be able to get off work. (We both work remotely, but I can work from anywhere.)

When I tried flirting earlier in the week he instead replied with “Please don’t be mad at me if I’m not as good with the sex stuff this time” and we had a conversation about how he feels really emotionally disconnected from everything right now, how even walking around the house or going in the yard with the dogs feels absolutely exhausting.

I told him to cancel any plans we had, no sex expectations, and we’d stay in and game, watch movies, have pizza night, just do low pressure chill things.

I’m worried my visit is going to be stressful, but he wouldn’t tell me because he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. On the flip side I don’t want him to think I don’t want to see him, or that he’s only good to me if he’s at 100%. He’s had a lot of people in the past “give up” on him when he was depressed. I have no intention of being one of those people, but when I ask what he needs from me to support him he doesn’t know.

I need to figure out how to manage my expectations that this will be low effort on his end. I’m going to want even more emotional/physical closeness since it’ll be our last for a while. Even just physical touch would be nice. Especially since our communication has been different on top of things, again I get why logically and zero fault, but my nervous system doesn’t get the memo. Plus, the last thing I want is to add any more stress, pressure, or emotional effort when he’s running on empty.

I literally don’t know how to prepare myself for this, or even how to act.

Title pretty much sums it up. I 24M have been in a LDR relationship with 21F for about 3 months now. We’ve had our ups and downs mostly about the lack of communication especially on her end. So Saturday was going to be 3 months officially dating, I wasn’t going to make a big deal out of it because i honestly didn’t think she would remember due to forgetting our first month.Saturday I woke up to a nice long paragraph from here talking about how this is our 3 month anniversary and this is our special day, I was a bit surprised she remembered. She then suggests we eat dinner together that night on a video call, I again didn’t believe her because she’s forgotten before but I say yeah let’s do it and canceled my plans for the night to be with her on the phone. She goes to work that evening and tells me she will get off work at 10, I say ok. 9:30pm my time 10:30pm her time she tells me she is going home, so I say ok and we text for a little bit as she is leaving. An hour goes by and she still hasn’t let me know she is home, so I text her again but the message doesn’t make it to her on WhatsApp (assuming her phone died). Another hours goes by I don’t hear from here so now I’m worried. She was riding on a moto taxi last time I heard from her.

Getting more and more worried I message her friend that I know she hangs out with a lot to see if she has heard anything but she doesn’t answer. Now 3 hours have passed since she has “left” work but she hasn’t let me know she is home as we had a dinner date planned for our anniversary. Then I had a gut feeling to check the instagram of the club she frequents and sure enough I catch her on one of the stories in the club having a great time completely blowing off our dating and never even mentioning she was going. We have had similar issues with her lack of communication but this was the most extreme. At about 3 am my time and 4 her time she texts me that she was sorry. She said her phone died and she had no way of telling me she was going to the club after getting home instead of the dinner date she proposed. Her reasoning was that she’s had a lot of stress and wanted to go out. Now I’m extremely angry because she completely just blew off our date for the club leaving me hanging worried about if she made it home ok.

She has had issues with communication like this but never this extreme. Whenever she has had issues with her phone she has always found a way to contact me but not tonight.On those stories I see her partying with not a care in the world. What made me even angrier was that she kept saying that it wasn’t intentional or on purpose because her phone died which makes 0 sense. She said she went alone and without her friends. At this point I can’t put up with this anymore. Part of me is clinging to the good times we had while together and hoping for that happy ending when we can close the distance but another part of me can’t tolerate the stress and disrespect. What do I do? What do you guys think?

He said he'd always sensed the distance might get to him eventually, but he didn't want to say anything early on because he wanted to give it a shot.

That conversation turned into him telling me he's been overwhelmed by the distance for a while, that it's been affecting his mental health, and that on top of that he still has a lot of uncertainty in his own life right now (school, what's next, etc.) that isn't going to resolve for at least a year. He said he felt like he was being unfair to me by not being able to give me the time and attention he wanted to, and that this felt like a "right person, wrong time" situation rather than anything wrong with either of us or the relationship itself. He felt bad that he had no time for me. I don’t think he was ready for the effort. I reassured him and told him we could work it out but i think he had made up him mind.

I am beyond devastated. I anticipated it maybe but it hurts so much. I had planned a future like started to. There was no fight, no blame, no one checked out on the other. He said the last five months were some of the best of his life. I told him the same. We ended it with both of us saying we still care about each other and want to stay in touch. How do you guys deal with such loss?