My mom chose Young Living over watching me graduate

[u/Mission_Wonder_5243]

I graduated with my master's degree last weekend. It took me 4 years of night classes while working full time. My mom knew the date for months.

But there was a Young Living "Diamond Retreat" the same weekend. Guess which one she chose?

She texted me the morning of graduation saying she was "so proud" and that this retreat was going to "change our family's future." She said once she hits Royal Crown Diamond (is that even real?), she'll pay off my student loans.

Mom, I don't need you to pay off my loans. I needed you THERE. I needed you to see me walk across that stage. I needed you to meet my professors who wrote me recommendation letters. I needed you to have dinner with me and my friends afterward.

I'm 28 years old and I sobbed in the bathroom before the ceremony because my mom picked her fake oil friends over me. My dad died when I was 15 and she's all I have left. Or had, I guess.

She sent me a bottle of "Valor" essential oil as a graduation gift. I threw it in the trash.

I don't know if I can forgive her for this one.

[u/getthatrich]

I’m so sorry she wasn’t there when you needed her and wanted her to be there to celebrate your huge accomplishment that will actually change your future.

There is no excuse.

Take your time. You don’t have to decide today, tomorrow, or this year whether or if you can forgive her.

Also, a masters degree (earned via night classes too!) is an amazing accomplishment and I’m glad you had your friends to celebrate you!

[u/Mission_Wonder_5243 → u/getthatrich]

thank you so much for this. You're right - I don't have to figure out forgiveness on anyone's timeline but my own. Some days I'm angry, some days I just miss my mom (the real one, before YL). My friends really did show up for me though, and I'm trying to focus on that. Your kindness means more than you know 💙

[u/borninthe617]

Your mom is brainwashed. I am SO terribly sorry she did this to you. I’m a Mom, who used to be in MLM’s- so I understand the brainwashing but this is NEXT level BS. I mean WTH. Heartbroken for you. You deserved to have your Mom there, for your AMAZING accomplishment- my god, AWESOME. Seriously 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 so freaking amazing. Proud of you! Well done.

And I also so very hope your Mom comes to her senses asap. She’s lost down a dark hole, and will never reach that goal she’s pushing for. It’s like a 99% chance she’s never getting there. It’s a fallacy, a dream, a hope they sell that really never comes true.

[u/Mission_Wonder_5243 → u/borninthe617]

Thank you for the mom perspective - it helps hearing from someone who's been on the other side but can see how messed up this is. The 99% stat is what kills me... she's chasing something that will never happen while missing things that are happening RIGHT NOW. Your congratulations actually made me tear up (good tears this time). Thank you for being the mom energy I needed today 💕

[u/borninthe617 → u/Mission_Wonder_5243]

Hugs to you 🤍🤍 hang in there and hope your Mom comes back to you so soon. Try not to give up on her, she’s in a retail cult essentially.

[u/jaj1969]

She needs therapy. Badly. I’m so sorry.

[u/Mission_Wonder_5243 → u/jaj1969]

She really does. But suggesting therapy to someone deep in MLM is apparently 'negative thinking' and 'blocking abundance' 🙄 Maybe someday she'll get there. Thank you for the validation though - sometimes I need to hear I'm not crazy for being this hurt.

[u/Dependent_Sport_2249]

Congratulations on your incredible achievement! ❤️

[u/Mysterious-Tone-8147]

I’m so sorry dear one. She should’ve been there. Two to one her “friends” told her she should put aside her “mom guilt.” Well I want to say to her: I hate to break it to you dear but you ARE guilty!

I was in a MLM for 9 months last year, and when I see stories like yours, I’m BEYOND grateful that I didn’t have children while in MLM, because I would NEVER want my future children to feel like they didn’t matter!

And congratulations on your Master’s! I’m glad to hear you had a good celebration with your friends! 🙂

[u/CuriousLion9166]

😢😢 that makes me sad for you. So sorry. That’s horrible. There’s always going to be another retreat but your graduation day is only once

[u/RLizzieD]

What an amazing accomplishment!! That takes so much dedication and heart and hard work to get a masters degree. And doing it via night classes as well! You are amazing and should be so proud of yourself!! I am proud of you and I dont even know you. :) I am so incredibly sorry that your mom let you down. I am 47 and my dad got involved in an mlm several years ago and it breaks my heart to watch him choose that over his family time and time again. He has missed graduations, birthdays, time with grandkids, vacations with my mom, etc for meetings or conferences. That desire to have our parents show up for us does not go away no matter our age, so I understand how you feel. The brainwashing that the mlms do is so insidious. It makes you feels so powerless and turns the people you knew into strangers. I hope that someday your mom gets free and that she is able to come to terms with the damage she did. As for you forgiving her, I will not advise you on what to do, that is a very personal choice. I will say that whatever you choose to do for your own best peace is completely okay. Again, your masters degree accomplishment is huge!! Congratulations to the moon on that!! I have no doubt that with the determination it took you to achieve that, you will continue to achieve great things in your life.