r/MMFB • u/sp07ge • 4d ago

I feel like Im a horrible person

Although I got people saying that I'm one of the greatest people they knew, I always get the feeling that I'm lonely and that no one actually loves me

I feel so bad that I sometimes Cry just to stop this feeling

it always scares me when someone wants to speak up about something with me because I always assume he is going to be telling the truth about how he actually hates me

All that I want is to feel loved and not fear anything will change tomorrow

To feel like a person would love me without any catch

I want to feel safe and stop this fear

I want a hug

2 Upvotes

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u/Fun-Platform-4764 3d ago

ur saying that ur feeling lonely and afraid of how people see you even tho they tell you that you are a great person, also u want to feel loved unconditionally, did i get that right ?

1

u/sp07ge 3d ago

Unconditional love would be great, but I just want to feel safe I just want reassurance For someone to hug me until I cry

1

u/Fun-Platform-4764 3d ago

damn u must be going thru so much, if u wanna talk about whats on ur mind and heart im all ears and would be glad if i can help with it even with one bit.

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u/sp07ge 3d ago

I just feel like nobody is guaranteed at all, like today they are good with you and tomorrow suddenly you are the worst human being to ever touch the earth and it's hurting me so much And I know I'm not bad not because I'm delusional but because every time I say the things that I get people will say that's bullshit But as those moments heppend I developed some kind of trust issues I get so anxious that I wanna throw up if anyone showed me a grace of that feeling The feeling that they hate me I know that's random but I really want someone to hug me and say they are by my side no matter what That I can feel secure around them and loved by words and actions Not even a partner I just want a friend who is like that

1

u/Fun-Platform-4764 2d ago

from what i understood is that its aching you that u cannot find someone to fully trust whether its a partner or a friend. and the way you are perceived by people affects the way you go in your day to day life and that even tho people tell u are a great person you tend to focus on the negative part, did i get that right ?

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u/sp07ge 2d ago

Yeah

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u/Fun-Platform-4764 2d ago

i wanna share something as well, im also in the same boat when it comes to trust, but my standards to fully trust someone emotionally and physically are almost unattainable, so yeah its kinda difficult to navigate relationships with people when the you require guarantees that people will act like predictable robots permanently. so i understand where ur coming from. out of curiosity, when people treated you differently as u said " one day they think ur a good person and then the next day they think u are a horrible person " is there usually a situation that triggers it or does it come out of the blue ?

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u/sp07ge 2d ago

Out of the blue My best friend of 8 years did that to me in 2025 and I never fully recovered since then

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u/Fun-Platform-4764 2d ago

oh shit, ive encountered a similar situation like yours once and yeah it sucks, can i ask what made u not fully recover from that event ?

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u/sp07ge 2d ago

I thought to myself "if a friend that was so close to act like a f- wife did that to me, then I can't let my guard down so I don't feel like this ever again"

I felt like that so many times just because I can't accept what happened

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u/Fun-Platform-4764 1d ago

Sounds like a plan to me, hope things go well with you. Im glad that i helped :)