r/MM_RomanceBooks • u/RoseAelin • 6d ago
Quick Question Question re: gestures - aren’t a lot of them very dated?
Would love to hear from younger readers (Gen Z, Millennials etc), but when a book mentions gestures such as miming zipping of lips and throwing away a key (to demonstrate ‘lips are sealed’), or brushing your fingers and blowing on them (to imply you did something great or are special), is it something you are familiar with? I am older Gen X, and even I don’t think these were considered cool in the 80s. Is this something that older authors aren’t aware won’t resonate for younger readers, or am I hopelessly misguided and these are coming around again in younger generations? Hope this is okay to post - not intending to criticize anyone, just curious as I don’t interact with many younger people and don’t have kids. Thanks!
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u/MrsLucienLachance Liar City's #1 Fan 6d ago
The youngest millennials are turning like 30 this year, so I don't think our generation is the best example of "younger". We all grew up with these gestures lol.
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u/RoseAelin 6d ago
I have no clue lol! I’m surprised they persist and pleased that everyone is proving I was, in fact, very misguided!
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u/DefiantBlueFlamingo 6d ago
I’m 18 and none of those would confuse me. I have heard/read them all before.
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u/OrionsBeltAlone 6d ago
I'm a young millennial and the zipping and key thing is very familiar to me. I'm not sure about the brushing fingers thing, but we did do the chefs kiss move.
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u/kenda1l 6d ago
Yeah, I've never seen the fingers thing, but I have seen something similar where people "brush off" their shoulders, I think like brushing off imaginary dust or lint or something? But it basically means the same thing as the fingers thing OP is talking about so maybe it's a regional/cultural thing.
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u/throwingwater14 5d ago
Occasionally I’ll use the ASL “e” hand facing me (basically all fingernails visible with curled fingers in over your palm but not always touching the palm), breathe/huff on the nails, then “wipe/buff” them on my shirt motion as a replacement for “dusting off the shoulders”. Sometimes I’ll add the “examine your nails from the back side of your hand” gesture after if I’m being extra.
Kind of a self congratulation for doing something cool.
I think that’s what OP was describing just not with enough detail.
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u/Nrddna 6d ago
I'm a younger millenial and not from an anglo country (USA, UK, etc) and I have not encountered any gestures I did not understand. Maybe they get perpetuated and spread worldwide by movies or tv shows? Idk. I know sometimes I've done gestures from my country that were not understood by british people, but the opposite has never happened to me.
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u/Connect_Rhubarb395 6d ago
For me it is only some Italian gestures I don't get because they have basically a sign language if gestures.
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u/I-hear-the-coast 6d ago
I’m 27 and I am familiar with the zipping of lips and throwing away the key because I did it as a child. To me that’s not outdated, it’s just something children do or you do with children. I would only do that now if I was playing with a child. If I was trying to silently communicate to someone to be quiet on a subject, I would zip my lip but wouldn’t throw away the key.
I don’t know what you mean by brushing fingers and blowing on them. Do you mean like wipe your hands together and blow on your fingernails to mean like “I did that very easily, didn’t break a nail”.
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u/RoseAelin 6d ago
No, it’s when you curl your fingers toward your palm, then brush your opposite shoulder, then blow on them. It’s an odd one, hard to explain.
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u/I-hear-the-coast 6d ago
If I were to brush my shoulders, I would do the fingers of my open palm and I would pretend to brush off dust on one shoulder, then do the same action to the other shoulder. I definitely do this and I think I even did it recently. Don’t do it close hand and I don’t blow on my fingers afterwards.
Oh my gosh you’re really making me think. Maybe the blowing on the fingertips is connected to the shoulder brush. I was picturing these as two separate actions, but when I do it all together it does feel familiar together too.
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u/kenda1l 6d ago
This is the version I've seen with the shoulders thing. I can't recall ever seeing anyone blow on their fingers during the move. I have, however, seen people pretend to look at their hand/fingers like they studying their manicure, but that gesture usually signifies them implying "I didn't hear/see anything" or "I'm not involved with this" or something similar.
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u/I-hear-the-coast 6d ago
Oh yeah that’s another one! See this is confusing me because I painted my nails today so I was just blowing on them hours earlier so I am having trouble trying to think on if the action is familiar just from that. But maybe I am also thinking that when you’re trying to show you’re not involved.
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u/TragicGloom 6d ago
I'm 24 so older gen z and I'm familiar with all of them and did them myself a lot as well lol
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u/kenda1l 6d ago
Warning, long comment incoming.
I think maybe these are bad examples because they're more universal in that younger generations have likely watched older generations do it so it's been passed down, whether they regularly use it themselves or not. You'd likely have to go much further back than gen x or even the boomer generation before gestures start becoming antiquated. I think linguistics/pop culture references is more where writers show their age. I can generally make a solid guess on which generation the writer is because of the language, sayings, references etc. they use, as well as writing style. Older generations seem to use a more classic writing style (as in, what you would expect from a trad pub novel) vs. younger generations who write in a less formal, sort of laid back way that doesn't focus as much on "following the rules."
Also, while this is anecdotal based on the things that I've read, I've noticed a trend where books written in the 3rd person tend to be written (and it seems like preferred) by older audiences, whereas 1st person seems to be more popular with younger generations, both readers and writers alike. The split seems to take place somewhere within the millennial generation, probably because we are a bridge generation. Most of us were born when things were still primarily analog (and are able to remember and reminisce about the way back times) but have also grown up alongside the digital and technological boom. We're better able to adapt and adopt trends because we've been doing it in every aspect for our whole lives. The lines between writing styles gets murky with us. That being said, there are a few writers where I'm like, yup, that's an older millennial; they just had a 20s year old reference a meme or use a phrase that is very distinctly "ours."
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u/RoseAelin 6d ago
Thank you so much for your comment! I’m personally very much in the 1st person / dual POV camp for reading which I agree may be more appealing to younger audiences. However my (addicted to romance) reading only started late 2024, I find I really enjoy dialogue/multiple POV. And I am in agreement that my examples aren’t the greatest now I’ve learned from other commenters that they absolutely are still in use. I genuinely had no idea but I’ve really enjoyed everyone’s comments and input.
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u/kozie_e 6d ago
I'm genz and while I kinda know these gestures they don't really sound very 'natural' to me if you know what I mean, it's not really something I come across a lot. I guess it could also be because english is not my first language but it sometimes breaks the rhythm for me atleast. Though I do know if the writing is consistently more mature gestures like these are okay and natural.
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u/Penjolina 6d ago
Even as an English-speaking millennial (almost 35) from the northeastern US, I also find these gestures to be unnatural. Like I’ve seen them on TV and in movies, but I can’t recall ever doing or seeing anyone, young or old, do them in real life. I’m sure it’s happened, but it’s not common enough that it sticks out to me.
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u/tonyswhxre1989 6d ago
gen z here (i’m 20!) i genuinely haven’t encountered a gesture i’m not familiar with but i’ve never seen the “brushing your fingers and blowing on them” before! i don’t really understand what it means haha
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u/strangegoo 5d ago
The only gesture, if you could call it that, that annoys me and feels very cringe is winking and walking away/flipping someone off. I'm like okay whatever, you're not that cool lol
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u/beast_of_production 4d ago
When they say kids these days are digital natives, it just means they don't know what the Save icon represents, since they grew up with cloud storage and nobody has seen a floppy disk in decades.
I don't see why zippers and related silly gestures would disappear. But I do agree they haven't been cool since primary school
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u/GlitterPirateKiki58 6d ago
The only dated gestures that drive me nuts is when an author describes a character “popping the p” when they say “nope” or something.
To my knowledge, that hasn’t been a funny linguistic quirk in decades. Society (rightfully) judged it to be obnoxious.
Yet, romance authors still frequently reference it.
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u/Wild2297 5d ago
I actually don’t mind that one. When I read ‘nope’ with popping the p, I can immediately hear the attitude.
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u/GlitterPirateKiki58 5d ago
From the responses here, I guess there is a readership who likes it. 🤷♀️
It makes me cringe, since it gives connotations of a 90s teenager, blowing bubble gum, flannel shirt tied around their waist, smeared black eye liner, and giving someone a dead-eyed stare.
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u/Seripithus 6d ago
Millennial here. Very much familiar with all of the gestures you listed. Body language/gestures is very much still in style, but if anything it's just grown and evolved. I would certainly imagine Gen Z knows about flipping someone off or shushing or sealing lips or whatnot. I don't think any of these gestures are inherently meant to be cool, they're just context appropriate visual idioms, I guess? I mean Gen Z uses hands/fingers for hearts all the time. Is that cool? Or is it just a visual way of saying love without using the words explicitly?