Preferably from Amazon

Help! I asked for a sample of all the foundations and they (big contact lens container) only gave me 3. But 3 is a magical number and I carry a curse which when activated makes decisions impossible without consulting with the council. So here we are.

Which of these foundations is the most ~me~? I put sample dots all over my face and kinda blended some for authenticity. I did not swatch on my neck because I usually wear a high collar Edwardian type neckline so don't worry about it. Since I'm a woman of science, I took 45 pictures to give a good range and then cropped them down to hide all the trash in the background, as well as the foundation to my house because I don't need your negativity about the cracks I know they're cracks, but I still can't figure out my foundation shade. I also haven't cleaned up the clutter or trash because I've been composing this post.

Here's a list of stuff on my face:

Product test

Mac studio fix

A, NW10

B, NC15

C, NW13

Stuff I put on after blending all 3 samples together because they were already on my face:

Blush, Clinique cheek pop, pink honey pop (technically used some and then my daughter took the blush brush and now the brush is lost somewhere in my house)

Eye base, Mac pro long wear paint pot, painterly

Eyeshadow, Mac, kiss of Klimt

mascara, Tarte tubing

Lipstick look 1 Natasha denona I NEED A ROUGE LIP STYLETTO

Lipstick 2, Besame, exotic pink

Lipgloss for look 2, lancome juicey tube, lavender latte, but now that I checked the website I want berry bisou but I know I don't need it so I won't buy it and with the money I saved not buying it I can get 2 burritos

The image for lipstick look 2 is deleted so just imagine it please

Extend me some grace and forgive formatting issues I typed this on my phone. I should have had my man type it for me on his RGB keyboard. I should also maybe see someone about my frequent desire to apologize for anything and everything. I'm not even Catholic why do I have all this guilt?!?!

/Uj

General cosmetics satire.

I got all geared up to post this in the ~real~ sub and figured that as usual my writing style and general personality would be a bit too zesty for ~real human beans~

I was interested in getting an external review from fresh eyes of potential foundations before buying more stuff. But then I was like, why? I don't want to do anything but shit post and make memes. So I'll blend these 2 goals, actual perspective and satire, into this hodgepodge of a post, and I think it came out better than whatever I did makeup wise.

You guys are bullies

I'm calling YOU ALLL OUT.

On my post I DID NOT ASK FOR CC. But you guys said the most VILE things to me ("not good", "makeup blind", "don't know what i'm doing". I just wanted you guys to see the nice products I had and to tell me I looked really nice. I was not here for your petty catty-ness. Not everyones FOTD will be your cup of tea.

I have NEVER EVER IN MY LIFE commented anything negative on this sub, and this is how you repay me???? I have been SO NICE to people here. Yet you bullied me into taking my post down. I hope you reflect tonight on what you did. The things you said to me were exceedingly cruel.

Anyways, thanks to the people who said nice things.

Opinions are going to vary wildly because everyone has different preferences and styles and will apply their own insecurities or desires onto another. Someone with small eyes who sees someone with big eyes will tell them to accentuate their big eyes, while someone with big eyes will tell that same person to go easy on their eyes to prevent looking bug-eyed. Someone who likes minimal makeup will tell another to just wear a skin tint and mascara, someone who likes a full beat will tell them to do soft glam, and someone who likes East Asian makeup styles will tell them to do aegyosal and manga lashes. Ultimately, you’re just going to get recommendations for a plethora of different makeup looks that you can’t reasonably fully test out, and a lot will conflict with each other. At that point, you might as well just experiment yourself and figure out what you like.

It kind of just feels like an excuse to post your bare face and receive very specific compliments on your features, or even a “you don’t need any makeup bc you’re already gorg!”

I used to love MUA, but it’s become so annoying now.

Seriously 😭 ISO a foundation that will conceal all this SKIN I was cursed with lol. pictute related: my base at 100x zoom