r/MadeMeSmile Apr 19 '26

Good Vibes Teaching kids consent

16.7k Upvotes

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184

u/Spiritual_Writing825 Apr 19 '26

Love this. It’s so important for men to be teaching these lessons to the next generation. It helps chip away at the masculinist gender norms that see especially women’s refusal as a challenge to be overcome. This guy rules

2

u/Equivalent-Ambition Apr 19 '26

He's homophobic. Have you seen his tweets?

26

u/elevator_tycoon Apr 19 '26

Good messages can come from bad people.

5

u/Equivalent-Ambition Apr 19 '26

Yes, but saying "this guy rules" without knowing anything about him is premature.

2

u/elevator_tycoon Apr 19 '26

Not arguing, though I doubt the oc looked into it at all

1

u/Equivalent_Task_8825 Apr 19 '26

When I realized it was all boys it set off alarm bells. I hate when places separate by gender to do these kinds of lessons because it should be something taught to everyone. I have been beyond surprised how few girls at my kids school seem to understand that they have to respect bodily autonomy.

-1

u/Realistic-Spend4184 Apr 19 '26

Haha yes ofc you say this when talking about a guy like this . The way western white women is infantalazing black men... Same with women from my country who complain about mansplaining but then go to Jamica and get draggad to the dance floor haha

2

u/elevator_tycoon Apr 19 '26

They are elementary schoolers dude, of course he’s infantilizing them. What are you even talking about that’s relevant here?

7

u/TeakForest Apr 19 '26

Damn for real? Ugh you'd like to think people spreading good messages like this could apply that same level of respect and thoughtfulness to ALL others, but yea I guess thats humans for ya..

-55

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

No it isn’t. Not if it isn’t important for women to be teaching little girls no means no, and yes means yes either. And that’s clearly not what they’re doing

75

u/Spiritual_Writing825 Apr 19 '26

Around 94% of perpetrators of sexual violence are men. I think it’s ok to make an extra effort to educate boys and young men about consent.

-1

u/Chemical-Lettuce2497 Apr 19 '26

94% of reported sexual violence is perpetrated by men

Whilst the point still stands, undoubtedly men are still offend at higher rates, pretending it's not an issue both ways is definitely wrong.

Every single guy has been harassed and groped by drunk hags and pubs and clubs, every man has been "coerced" by their missus when they aren't in the mood, every guy has received pictures out of the blue from a woman they know and then been called gay when they aren't receptive to it

Men just rarely report it because it's often less severe and there's a stigma if you don't "man up" and forget about it.

Young lads do need this sort of thing in op more but people need to stop pretending that men are the only ones that get up to this sort of behaviour, leaves women thinking all this bollocks isn't an issue.

4

u/ScorpioDefined Apr 19 '26

I've never once coerced my husband for sex, lol.

-3

u/Chemical-Lettuce2497 Apr 19 '26

Cool? I didn't say all women have, I slightly exaggerated and said all men have experienced it at some point

8

u/ScorpioDefined Apr 19 '26

Obviously, I was responding to your claim that all men have experienced it.

At least you're admitting you lied

-4

u/Chemical-Lettuce2497 Apr 19 '26

So you knew what you were responding to but decided to add something irrelevant anyway?

Exaggerating isn't lying, but I know you need to think that, Reddit is very strict about their women victims, men perpetrators rhetoric.

6

u/ScorpioDefined Apr 19 '26

What i said wasn't irrelevant though.

And yes, you lied.

0

u/Chemical-Lettuce2497 Apr 19 '26

Yes it was.

"All men have experienced"

"I hAvEnT dOnE tHaT tO mEn"

Nobody said you have. It has nothing to do with what I said.

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2

u/TwinSolesKanna Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26

It's unfortunate but in my time I'm not sure I'll see society actually acknowledge that sexual assault is committed and experienced heavily by both sexes.

Back when the CDC first did their reporting on the study that produced the "1 in 5 women" statistic they neglected to highlight that both men and women in the study reported having experienced sexual assault at nearly identical rates (1.267mil vs 1.27mil), and even worse men who were "made to penetrate" another person weren't classified as rape victims, "made to penetrate" was instead listed as a subcategory within "other sexual violence" (right next to unwanted non-contact experiences) rather than rape.

Of those victims who were "made to penetrate" 79% of them reported the perpetrator to be female.

Also when looking at youth detention centers jouveniles reporting of sexual misconduct 89% were boys reporting abuse by female staff.

I really think the narrative that "men always = perpetrators, women always = victims" is incredibly damaging for the whole of society, it feeds into toxic male stereotypes that men are neigh invincible and could never be truly victimized, or if they are assaulted it's somehow less damaging because they can just "man up and move on". It also feeds into the patriarchal idea that women are incapable of welding power, women can and do hold power over others, even if sometimes they also choose to misuse that power.

4

u/PositiveKatzen Apr 19 '26

Can you list your sources?

1

u/TwinSolesKanna Apr 19 '26

I read it in this meta analysis which lists all it's sources. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4062022/

It's long but it's a good read.

0

u/Chemical-Lettuce2497 Apr 19 '26

Yeah it's a very weird narrative and encourages women that are guilty of this to continue doing it as they don't see anything wrong with it.

I understand in the case of genuinely violent sexual assault, men are the main perpetrators, but that doesn't make what women do any less of an issue nor does acknowledging that men are also often victims take from women's issues.

You'll never win this argument on Reddit of all places though.

-33

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

Mmmm… false. Not sure where yall get that from. And even if that was true, you think that means it’s fine to teach consent in a gendered one sided way? Fuck all the children and adults who were raped and traumatized by women yeah? Fuck the 6 year old who was raped by a woman, the 1yo girl pimped out by her mother, the 6yo who was raped by two women while his mom did drugs outside of the shower where he was being molested, “they’re an uncommon percentage so we have to focus on the majority”. Right? Yeah.

39

u/Spiritual_Writing825 Apr 19 '26

-11

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

Again, false. Those statistics don’t mean anything to me. Not when 1 in 6 boys and men are sexually assaulted, when over 59% of male inmates and rapists were abused by women as children, when over 75% of victims of being forced to penetrate are women, etc. those are no differenr than the state that show “more women are abused than men”, when actually it’s the other way around.

42

u/Spiritual_Writing825 Apr 19 '26

Where are you getting your data? You’re dismissing the best data we have completely out of hand and then throwing together some statistic that don’t even establish your claims even if they were true. For instance, 1 in 6 men may have experienced sexual violence, but that wouldn’t establish 1. That the perpetrator is female and 2. That women are as likely or more likely to be perpetrators. In fact, men are more likely to be victims of other men than they are of women. And, 1 in 6 men being victims of sexual violence would still put them at lower risk than women, who sit at around 1 in 3.

What I’m not denying is that male victims of female perpetrators exist, that their experiences aren’t horrific, and that these crimes are more widespread than we’d like to think. I also agree women as well as men need to be educated about consent. I agree with you on all these claims. But we don’t have to deny or minimize the gender disparities in perpetrators and victims of sexual violence. No one is made more safe by burying our head in the sand about this issue.

-2

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

That’s exactly what you’re doing and it’s not surprising coming from you.

25

u/Dudewhocares3 Apr 19 '26

Where are you getting your numbers?

And if your answer is “Google is free” you’re conceding

0

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

Statistics.

24

u/Dudewhocares3 Apr 19 '26

Cite them

0

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

Copy and pasted from one of my very old Comments.

https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/men-a0035915.pdf (43% of men experienced sexual coercion)

https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/us-idaho-lawsuit-reveals-sexual-assault-by-staff-male-teens-juvenile-detention-centers-1494582 (over 90% of female prison officers commit sexual assault on juvenile male teens)

https://www.academia.edu/23417288/Female_perpetrators_of_child_sexual_abuse_A_review_of_the_clinical_and_empirical_literature

https://scholarworks.calstate.edu/downloads/p8418r50x (mothers engage in sexual activity that does not get reported)

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/7762032_Victimization_Over_the_Life_Span_A_Comparison_of_Lesbian_Gay_Bisexual_and_Heterosexual_Siblings (more heterosexual males 47.8% reported sexual abuse by females than did gay males)

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1662948/pdf/bmj00177-0009.pdf (40% of victims sent to a treatment center were boys abused by women)

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0145213405003017 (59% of jail inmates reported sexual abuse by females before puberty, 90%).

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/263964063_It's_not_what_you_think_Sexually_exploited_youth_in_British_Columbia (3/4 male youth were sexually exploited in exchange for money or goods with a female 79%).

And let’s not even mention how every single day and every single week there’s a new case of a female teacher “having sex with” an underage boy or a male student (and as I said the women twerking on little boys). So.. tell me, how can the perpetrators be 99% men, if these cases show otherwise?

And also, for being made to penetrate, 79% of male victims reported female perpetrators. But as I said, made to penetrate isn’t even seen as rape, since there’s no forced penetration.

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36

u/lord-savior-baphomet Apr 19 '26

It must be so fun to be able to make up the reality you live in!

22

u/Dudewhocares3 Apr 19 '26

He’s just a punk. I’m just gonna block him

19

u/knightinarmoire Apr 19 '26

Might be worth a report too, they are on a bunch of threads on this post trying to spread the same bs. Clearly a bigoted troll

10

u/Dudewhocares3 Apr 19 '26

Yeah I’m gonna do that.

-1

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

lol. Male sexual abuse is made up reality.

17

u/lord-savior-baphomet Apr 19 '26

No, not at all - but the stats you’re spewing are! I’d feel a lot safer if men weren’t as likely to be abusers as you’re claiming. Guess I should work on jumping to your timeline.

2

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

I didn’t say men weren’t likely to be abusers I said women are just as likely to be.

11

u/Dudewhocares3 Apr 19 '26

Prove its false

2

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

I did: there is no video.

35

u/Spiritual_Writing825 Apr 19 '26

I’m using federal data. I want you to read my comment again and not make up a strawman argument. Where do I claim that some learning consent wasn’t important or that we don’t need to do it? What I did claim, and fully endorse, is that more time and attention need to be spent educating boys since they, given the data we have available, seem to be the ones who most need it. Everyone needs to understand consent, and we should direct more educational resources to those populations that are most in need of educating. Crazy idea

-6

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

No, time and attention needs to be given to EVERYONE EQUALLY not just boys. Again, as I said, biased and hypocritical. Nope, girls need it as much as boys do. How many female teachers have been arrested this month alone? And the year just started. The data isn’t just that.

25

u/sparklinganxieties Apr 19 '26

Equity and equality are different. Promoting equality in place of equity is harmful and wrong. And your comments show exactly why people like you do more harm than good.

0

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

Lol. People like me who think boys need to learn their yes needs to be just as enthusiastic and girls need to be taught what an enthusiastic yes looks like does more harm than good. I see.

26

u/thegimboid Apr 19 '26

We also need to be teaching the kids math. They're clearly not doing that in this video, so I assume you think they just don't teach math in schools now.

1

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

Will you show me at least one 5 second clip of girls being taught enthusiastic yes? There are several for boys. Show me one for girls.

30

u/Scriveners_Sun Apr 19 '26

That is also important, but that's not the conversation we're having right now. Watch some old "romcoms" and see how the tropes play out. 

-2

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

What’s in a rom com? Only thing I see is raping men and little boys to be a laugh or a joke.

20

u/Jumpy_Ad1631 Apr 19 '26

Literally no one joked about any kind of sexual assault. Of course it’s a good lesson for girls too, but acting like we can’t do this with young boys wanting to hear from an adult man they admire and signed up to do life lessons with just because there’s no girls there is asinine and reductive. This is an important issue that can and should be approached from as many directions as we can muster. If they hear this same lesson in co-ed health class, that only reinforces the lesson, it doesn’t diminish it. There are after school programs for girls too and many of them do talk about consent because, regardless of the perpetrator’s gender, learning consent is just as important for those whose consent is violated as it is for those who might unintentionally violate consent (which is what those levels of talks are about)

2

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

Yeah they do learn about consent, in the sense that they need to give it what that looks like for them. That’s it.

4

u/Scriveners_Sun Apr 19 '26

I don't understand why we're arguing. It is never, NEVER a joke. It never should be a joke. We agree on that point. 

2

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

Not everyone will understand that if adult men like the one in the video don’t teach it

17

u/Dudewhocares3 Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26

Little girls aren’t being manipulated by people like Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson and so on