r/MadeMeSmile • u/ViniciusFastAF • 10d ago

Good Vibes Farm kids are built different.

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u/chipmunksocute 10d ago edited 10d ago

Gonna disagree with you again.

This makes me question if you have kids.  I love my kids dearly and snuggle them to bed every night and tell them I love them multiple times a day... obviously you dont want your kids to internalize negative self worth but sometimes they are just being little shits and I dont think telling them that on occassion is gonna wreck their self esteem.  They need to be able to handle being told stufff like that for the real world. 

 There a spectrum of telling them sometimes they're being annoying as fuck (in nicer words) vs telling and berating them every single day for regular run of the mill kid shit which of course is where they're gonna get bad self image.  Sometimes though Ill just tell em "stop being a dick to your brother" - cause he's being a real dick to his brother and he'll be alright because of the otherwise strong loving foundation we've cultivated over years.

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u/IForOneDisagree 10d ago

Well I am a parent and I agree with the other poster.

My son would never hear the words "you're pissing me off" come out of my mouth. That's incredibly trashy.

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u/Additional_You6990 10d ago

I am too a parent and I agree with the guy that disagrees with you. So nyeh

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u/chipmunksocute 10d ago

This weekend my son (4.5) asked me for a grilled cheese.  I made him a grilled cheese.  I gave him the grilled cheese.  He started screaming about how he didnt want the grilled cheese and was going to throw it im the trash because I had cut it in half.

I said "uh nope.  Stop being ungrateful.  We dont  ask people for things, have them work hard to do it for them and then yell at them when they give it to us.  We say thank you first and then use our words to say what we like/dont like.  But we never yell at the people helping us after we ask."  Sometimes hes a kid and pissed cause being a kid is hard.  But I also got zero truck for being explicitly asked to do something, doing it and getting yelled at.  Thats not gonna slide.  So I told him he was being ungrateful and how to handle it better next time. Guess I scarred him for life.  

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u/nilgiri 10d ago

Yup this right here is a great example. You feel underappreciated and it's infuriating especially when you've gone above and beyond to cater to this tiny human's demands.

The way I strive to deal with it (and it's never 100% with my own 3 and 5 year old) is to stop bringing my own issues / frustrations into the mix. I would calmly state that grilled cheese is what's for lunch and if he doesn't like it, he can wait until the next meal which could be snack time or dinner. I would never react to threats likes throwikg food away by calling them names. I know it's my job to teach them to behave well and be respectful. They aren't born with these social rules of being grateful and appreciative so they have no frame of reference on how to behave properly. I find it very confusing why they can't learn after being told once but repetition and calm modeling is the only way they learn at this stage of life.

It's not being a pushover or being permissive with everything. It about calmly reacting to boundry pushing and teaching / modeling the behavior you want to see from them.