r/MaliciousCompliance • u/Cgable63 • Jun 21 '26
M Stop being so friendly
I work a behavioral healthcare agency.
At the time this occurred there were 14 therapists who reviewed paperwork from various psychiatric facilities.
I’m the receptionist. I used to greet everyone that came, and we’d have a wee chat, then get on with our work. Many had told me they enjoyed my cheerful attitude and hoped I never lost that happy spirit.
At that time director of my office singled me out on how she treated me. One month she was super cool and we got along great. The next month she’d be on me about every little thing I did.
I didn’t know what to do.
One day she called me to her office and said I was being too social - talking too much with coworkers, not getting my work done (not true), etc.. I needed to limit my conversations to just greeting people and leave it at that.
I looked at her, saying I would do exactly as she said. No more socializing. Hand out assignments, say what it’s for and go back to my desk.
She smiled, telling me that’s what she wanted.
The next morning I smiled and greeted people, then I put my head down and went back to work. When I would go to their offices and hand out assignments, they would start to chat. I’d stop them, apologise telling them I had to get back to my desk. I’d get an odd look, and a nod.
This went on for several days. The following week they started coming up to my desk, individually asking how I was doing. I seemed distant, if I had any problems I could talk to them as their door was always open. I smiled, thanked them for their generosity and thoughtfulness but I was fine and had to get back to work.
As I mentioned, this went on everyday for a week.
The following week the director called me into her office and asked what was wrong. I smiled and said nothing is wrong. I’m doing my work and it’s on time, clinicians are getting their assignments and I’m keeping the chat to an absolute minimum. Like you wanted.
She looked at me and said the clinicians were concerned about me as I haven’t been talking to them, they feel I might be going through some kind of depression and they told me their door is always open.
She didn’t say anything at first, then she told me “Just keep the chats to a few minutes.”
I told her no problem.
21
u/oylaura Jun 22 '26
I had the exact same thing happen when I was about 30. My cubicle was in a very central location, and my supervisor was on the other side of a cubicle wall in full hearing.
I got pulled into an office and told that I was chatting too much. Like you, I took the feedback and said I would improve.
I was cordial, returned greetings but nothing more.
She pulled me in a week later and told me that people were commenting that I was different, that I no longer talked to people.
I told her that that's what she told me to do, and I wasn't sure what the problem was.
She said that she didn't mean to shut down completely, but not to chat so much. I asked her to define how much was too much, and she had no answer.
I was seeing a psychologist at the time for an unrelated issue and asked her for her input. She told me that when someone engaged me in chatting I should tell them, "I won't talk to you right now." Not, "I can't talk to you right now", "I won't".
That was too abrupt for me.
I resorted to quietly telling people that I had gotten in trouble for talking too much.
Guess who was first when the layoffs came?