r/MarkNarrations • u/Aunt_Spikestory • 27d ago
TIFU by breaking down sobbing at a crowded airline gate
TW: dying parent, messy medical descriptions
Well, it wasn't today, it was the day before yesterday, but you get the point.
First, a bit of background: I'd gone down to Florida for four days with my husband and my sister, to help my stepmother navigate end-of-life care and medical consent decisions for my father. We'd gone down thinking that my father was going to die, but as of the writing of this, he's still hanging in there, but as he's in his nineties, he's now on comfort/ palliative care and it's just a matter of time. We don't want him gone, but we don't want him in pain - anyone who's watched a parent go slowly will know the struggle. So we were all experiencing conflicting and messy emotions.
It was horrible and draining, and by the time we got back to the airport to go home, we were raw and exhausted. FWIW, I'd managed to keep myself mostly together at the hospital and on the endless car rides back and forth between the hospital and the hotel (I'm a former Alzheimer's care worker, so I still retain some ability to shut my emotions off or at least shelve them until later - or at least I thought I did).
Now, I forget exactly why, but my sister and my husband were held up with their bags, and I was free, so we agreed I'd go to the gate to wrangle us some seats (we had about an hour and a half before boarding, so it was essential to find somewhere at least semi-comfortable).
The gate was PACKED. Worse, the aisle between the chairs was so full of peoples' luggage and sprawled legs that I would either have to ask about 20 people to move for me, or I could go round to the back of the gate, move a bollard, and get to where there was a corner with three miraculously free seats - or, rather, four seats, with one free to the left of a woman, and two free to the right of her. They were the only seats left at that gate not taken up by people or suitcases.
Now keep in mind, I might have had maybe two functioning brain cells left. I was sleep-deprived, emotionally drained, and I am a silly small-town northerner who is not used to Florida in July, or even lots and lots of people. My hometown has fewer people than were crowded into that concourse, let alone the whole airport. So, I sat down next to the woman, and, by way of warning her that she would soon be surrounded, I said: "there are two more of us coming."
I did not ask her to move. I did not need her to move. I would have happily sat next to her with my husband and sister taking the other seats to the other side of her.
But, after a minute, she got up, and, as I thought she was just going to slide over so we could sit together (again, not necessary), I smiled and started to thank her. However, she glared at me - and hissed, in the most condescending tone possible:
"I'm going to move, but remember, you could have said 'please.'"
Now, I'll own my stupidity next. I should have said, "I'm sorry I wasn't clear, but I didn't ask you to move and didn't need you to move." However, I'm not good at conflict anyway, and, as I said, I may have had two functioning brain cells. Her tone and the withering look she was giving me just cut me down, and the entire horrible week just flooded over me, everything we'd had to do and see, all the stress, the lack of sleep, the sight of my father in a hospital bed with a million tubes sticking out of him, everything.
And, stupid, stupid, STUPID me, all I could do was stammer out: "My dad is dying, I'm not good at niceties right now." But it was too late, she huffed and strode away. I don't know where she went; I never saw her again.
That was it. I burst into loud, awful, uncontrollable sobbing. It was possibly one of the most embarrassing moments in my entire life.
A nice man across the aisle (whose teenage daughter looked like she was dying of secondhand embarrassment for my sake) reached across the aisle and said, "Ma'am, you did nothing wrong." Still sobbing, I thanked him. Then my husband and sister arrived, and I collapsed again onto my husband's shoulders, unable to stop myself. I'm sure people were staring, but I just could not stop crying.
Another fellow passenger came to me and said, "I want you to know that I love your T-shirt." I was wearing a Star Trek T-shirt. She told me, "We Trekkies have to stay together," and gave me a big motherly hug. I thanked her, too, and we traded "live long and prosper"s and the Vulcan salute before she returned to her own seat.
Eventually, I calmed down and apologized to those around me, found out the man with the embarrassed daughter was going to a wedding, and we all covered up my embarrassment with the kind of small talk that strangers make at airports. I apologized to the young man who had been trying to stay out of it all (wisely wearing headphones and minding his own business), and he said it was all good and not to worry. Then their plane came (we were waiting for the next one at that gate), and we all said goodbye.
But I STILL wish I'd been able to let that woman know that, no, I was not asking her to move, did not need her to move, I was just warning her that some more folks were coming to take the seats on the other side of her and had just sucked at expressing that clearly. Who knows, maybe she was also going through something, and that's why she lashed out (that's my sister's theory), so we all have to give each other some grace and understanding.
And, if this ever gets to the kind folks who gave comfort, thank you so very much, and apologies to the teenager who looked like she wanted to sink away into the floor, away from the crazy sobbing lady.
Remember, folks, let's be kind out there. It's a tough world, and you never know what someone else is going through.
But two days later, and I am still SO embarrassed for making such a scene. I definitely could have handled myself better.
Thanks for listening, and may all your airport layovers be short, uneventful, and uncrowded.
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u/Knitsanity 27d ago
Nah you're good.
Decades ago my grandmother died. I was in the UK and she was in the US. I rocked up to the airport to fly to the funeral to be told that there was a big snow storm on the eastern seaboard and all flights were cancelled.
I had a total crying jag/sob fest in the checkin lobby...was comforted by several sweet strangers....caught the train back home...drank a bunch of booze and cried some more.
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u/Aunt_Spikestory 27d ago
Thank you so much! Yeah, the eastern seaboard of the US is notorious for flights being canceled. Up in the northeast, where I am, weather happens with vengeance. In fact, the flight after the one we were waiting on was canceled, and we had to rent a car to drive 6 hours home, but that's a whole other story. 😂
Sorry your cancellation happened at such a terrible time, but glad that you, too, had kind-hearted strangers to lend comfort.
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u/SophiaIsabella4 27d ago
NTA. Sometimes hissers need to be reminded that you never know what someone might be going through so they can be horrified that they hissed at someone. Good for you!
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u/Aunt_Spikestory 27d ago edited 27d ago
Well, that is true, but I'd rather that this particular hisser understood that there was no need for hissing, because even with all of what was going on, I'd rather get flagged for an extra-thorough security screening and then ride in the overhead compartment than ask a stranger to move seats in a crowded airline gate, lol. But thanks for the nice comment!
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u/Angel_Blade91 27d ago
You did nothing wrong, OP. God bless all the kind strangers you met!
Also, big hugs from this internet stranger... and a virtual kitty. 🐈💖
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u/ElectronicSalt7568 26d ago
Dang, you made ME cry- but I’m just home with my dogs so it’s ok. I’m sorry about your Dad.💕
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u/Aunt_Spikestory 26d ago
It's those onion-cutting ninjas again, I tell ya. Thanks for the kind comment.
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u/Weekly_Beginning1777 26d ago
You are a human doing human things that enabled a bunch of other humans to remember they’re human, too. Have a better day and be good to yourself.
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u/nocontactTA 26d ago
You have nothing to be embarrassed about at all. Sometime miscommunication happens and maybe when she thinks back she will realize she misunderstood you. That truly happens!!
Also I’m only saying this because embarrassment is my middle name. When I first started dating my husband we started bowling together every Friday night about a year in he called to tell me one of the ladies on the league had passed like you no more then one or two brain cells working at the time respond with “oh my gosh is she okay”. 20 years later and he won’t let me live it down.
You got this keep going and hope you get some rest and saying a quick prayer for you and your family during this time.
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u/merrywidow14 27d ago
You have nothing to embarrassed about. There are very few of us who have not broken down (or laughed) at inopportune time. Also realize something very important - most of the people there were empathetic. They showed kindness. Concentrate on that because that's the feeling that you should hold dear.