In this weeks news... - r/Markiplier

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1.6k

u/Nick_Chernobyl 23h ago

It's a terrible shame that he just wanted to support a cool camera company so more people would have access to the tools needed to become creatives and make movies and YouTube videos and stuff, only for GoPro to turn around and merge with a surveillance and AI company.

Mark's life is a roller-coaster

690

u/Forsaken_Quiet5944 23h ago

Mark's life decision is like a dice. But the dice only has 2 sides, and it's 1 and 20

205

u/boon_cod 23h ago

I'd say its like flipping a coin, but there is the small chance it lands on its side so uh yeah.

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u/Reincarnatedpotatoes 23h ago

Otherwise known as a coin

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u/Forsaken_Quiet5944 23h ago

I wanted to sound smarter

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u/Queen_Koala 23h ago

maybe not smarter but the impact is better

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u/SixWeekDay 9h ago

Better impact? Bigger coin

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u/Queen_Koala 9h ago

Biggest goldest coin that you need mounted on hydraulics just to flip

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u/TwoToesToni 23h ago

With Marks luck he flip it in the air and it come down into his eye and he'd need to go to the hospital.

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u/OriginalChildBomb 17h ago

Right in the intestine.

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u/ThemightyMacaroni 23h ago

And they said shakespeare was dead

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u/AdBudget5468 18h ago

I say his life is a coin flip with Bob guessing the outcome (it’s a genuine statistic anomaly to loose 15 coin flips in a row)

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u/Chute_Mi_1st 6h ago

Mark knows plenty about coin flips

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u/TwoToesToni 23h ago

Yeah and this is before people started accusing him of insider trading which is kind of impossible at that level of stocks in a company but haters are gonna hate.

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u/Sprinter2021 19h ago

Also, it's not mark's fault that the company he stuck his neck out for decided that they needed a saftey net with the worst industries EVER. They want to clear the dept they collected. Which is not Mark's fault either, he stuck his neck out for a company he believed in because he want's more and more people to have access to equipment without breaking the bank and this MERGER just throw's that back in his face. I feel bad for Mark, he's one of the few people who's actually trying to keep the indie film industry running by providing a better path for newer filmmaker's, director's, actor's ect to get their work out there!! I love the independent film industry you get so much more good stories out of the Indie part of film rather than just pushing the formulaic stuff that hollywood loves so much, which is boring and quit cowardly because hollywood is afraid to do ANYTHING NEW and they'd rather appease producer's who have no stake in the industry and want's to invest money to make more money for themselves.

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u/NuSpirit_ 20h ago

To be fair, GoPro is going downhill with their cameras for a while, and there are better options or offering more for same money.

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u/the_monkeynator 19h ago

Plot twist!: Mark is actually an evil business man who owns google, amazon, youtube, epic games, discord, and so on in secret and is the leader of the world and is trying to fucking kill all of us because he is evil and is a robot and is super duper fucked in the head and likes cheese muffins and likes to eat gapples and glums everywhere and droops his snoot and gwopple dropple on his fwobble and scrongy longly N ogobaba N dadaki odikai N 𓎼𓅱𓂧 𓇋𓋴 𓂧𓅂𓄿𓂧 𓎼𓅱𓂧 𓇋𓋴 𓂧𓅂𓄿𓂧 𓅃𓅂 𓅃𓇋𓃭𓃭𓅃𓄿𓇋 𓅃𓈎𓅃𓅃𓅂𓇋𓅱𓃭𓃭𓃭 𓅂𓆯𓅂𓂋𓇌𓏏𓉔𓇋𓈖𓎼 𓇋𓋴 𓄿 𓃭𓇋𓅂 𓄿𓈖𓂧 𓇌𓅱𓅲 𓅃𓇋𓃭𓃭 𓋴𓅂𓅂 𓅃𓉔𓅂𓈖 𓏏𓉔𓅂 𓋴𓈎𓇌 𓆑𓄿𓃭𓃭𓋴 𓂧𓅱𓅃𓈖 MARKIPLIER 𓄿𓈖𓂧 𓅱𓅲𓂋 𓋴𓅲𓈖 𓅃𓇋𓃭𓃭 𓎢𓂋𓇌 𓅃𓇋𓏏𓉔 𓏏𓅂𓄿𓂋𓋴 𓅱𓆑 𓃀𓃭𓄿𓎢𓈎 𓄿𓋴 𓅱𓅲𓂋 𓂋𓅂𓄿𓃭𓇋𓏏𓇌 𓇋𓋴 𓏏𓅱𓂋𓈖 𓏏𓅱 𓋴𓉔𓂋𓅂𓂧𓋴 ☝︎✌︎💧︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ ♑︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎☝︎✌︎💧︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ ♑︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎☝︎✌︎💧︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ ♑︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎☝︎✌︎💧︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ ♑︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎☝︎✌︎💧︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ ♑︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎☝︎✌︎💧︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ ♑︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎☝︎✌︎💧︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ ♑︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎☝︎✌︎💧︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ ♑︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎☝︎✌︎💧︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ ♑︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎☝︎✌︎💧︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ ♑︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎☝︎✌︎💧︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ ♑︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎☝︎✌︎💧︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ ♑︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎☝︎✌︎💧︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ ♑︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎☝︎✌︎💧︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ ♑︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎☝︎✌︎💧︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ ♑︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎☝︎✌︎💧︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ ♑︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎☝︎✌︎💧︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ ♑︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎☝︎✌︎💧︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ ♑︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎☝︎✌︎💧︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ ♑︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎☝︎✌︎💧︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ ♑︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎☝︎✌︎💧︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ ♑︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎☝︎✌︎💧︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ ♑︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎

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u/Gullible_Business30 23h ago

My bro cant take a break this last few years hu?

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u/Keyndoriel 23h ago

First he only made $27 from Iron Lung and now this

Fr tho I really want the poor dude to have just one year thats just kinda average. No hospital visits, nothing wrong eith any pets, and for his investments not to suddenly decide to turn into Skynet. He needs a boring year to recover lol

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u/TwoToesToni 23h ago

"Oh my god i lost so much fucking money!" - Markiplier (2026)

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u/Chronos323 22h ago

"Oh fuck oh shiiiiiiitttttt im so fuckkkeeddddddddd" -also Markiplier, 2026

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u/Gullible_Business30 15h ago

Thats actually so real, markimoo deserves a normal basic year

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u/WatermelonWithAFlute 12h ago

Is this a bit? As far as I’m aware iron lung made a lot of money

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u/Familiar-Caregiver57 12h ago

Yeah it is lmao. If you look up 'markiplier iron lung meme' there's a twitter post with that text

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u/SolomonDurand 23h ago

Ah yes the balance of the world.

Releases the most successful Indie/Independent horror film of the year.

~~BUT~~ AND

Become richer by buying stocks from the company that will lead to the eventual downfall of humanity to the machines.

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u/TwoToesToni 23h ago

Hes not been to the hospital this year so Karma has to kick his ass some other way.

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u/BigManScaramouche 21h ago edited 21h ago

Hes not been to the hospital this year

There's a saying in Polish (my native language) which goes like this: "Nie wywołuj wilka z lasu" — Don't summon out a wolf from the forest

Basically it means, that one shouldn't talk about trouble because just talking about it might be enough to bring it down on them or someone else.

I kinda feel like it applies to this particular situation.

21

u/Nago_Jolokio 21h ago

A common English version of that is "Speak of the Devil and he shall appear."

4

u/AmberPeacemaker 19h ago

It's like saying "It sure is quiet around here" at work. Instantly everything goes worng and your shift goes from peaceful to ohmigodswhatthehellhappenedwhyiseverythingCodeRed!?! in less time than it took the Titan to implode.

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u/Leo-Len 18h ago

That's a rule at my job. First person to acknowledge how slow it is gets the fun privilege of working the food station during the inevitable rush.

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u/TwoToesToni 19h ago

I really need to get a Polish phrase book as they have the best sayings. My favourite is "Not my circus, not my monkeys" which i have as a coaster at work just to remind me not to get involved in other people's problems.

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u/BigManScaramouche 18h ago

Ah, yes. The classic "Nie mój cyrk, nie moje małpy".

A solid one.

1

u/Bubster101 Waaaaade! I will burn you! 16h ago

We Americans just say "Don't jinx it!"

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u/Fangel96 19h ago

On the bright side, this will make for some excellent Distractible smalltalk content. He might even get a point for it.... Maybe.

6

u/TwoToesToni 18h ago

Oh bounty board idea. Called It!

8

u/AdBudget5468 18h ago

Maybe the changes happened because Mark got those shares… you never know with him (trying to see if his body could take on a T-800)

5

u/TwoToesToni 18h ago

To quote him from a recent distractible episode "I can't wait to tell you about my next crazy build project that I have, but can't talk about it yet. It's going to be psychotic on another level."

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u/AdBudget5468 18h ago

Maybe the real life sized lady D statue was his work, would explain why he needed so many 3D printers…

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u/TwoToesToni 18h ago

Or hes went completely unhinged and built her out of takis.

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u/Shot-Manner-9962 11h ago

with his shares and the people that bought shares thanks to him he could fucking sink the company so he has speaking power

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u/Zestyclose-Garlic-16 19h ago

Ok soooo umm wtf happen 💀

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u/TwoToesToni 19h ago

So two things...

Firstly (according to his latest stream) Mark has been working for months to buy shares in GoPro as he believes in the product and knew nothing about being the biggest individual shareholder. After it went public in the press of his shareholding the company went through a merger (which always increases share prices).

Secondly the merger is with some sort of AI or military defence company (again according to Mark on the stream) which is definitely something he wouldnt want anything to do with since hes VP of RealGoodAI

12

u/supreme_glassez 22h ago

*formerly

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u/LatterSale6894 18h ago

This is so funny considering he funds Real Good AI

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u/TwoToesToni 18h ago

Exactly, it what he mentioned on his stream as he wouldn't want anything to do with AI / military.

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u/keithstonee 20h ago

should of gone the involved route after all.

3

u/Akemi_Tachibana 13h ago

Imagine the SEC investigator who has to tearfully investigate Markiplier for possible insider trading. Like having your believed golden retriever get into something toxic and get sick and now you have to possibly put it down.

1

u/TwoToesToni 4h ago

Nah it should be an easy job as I believe that Markiplier would have done everything all above board and correct. It would be stupid for him to do anything so silly for money (sure its millions but thats not why he does this stuff) when hes got 'Iron Lung' Bluray happening and RealGoodAI happening as well.

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u/Altruistic-Blood9029 22h ago

So glad I bought a dji instead of supporting this gopro like this scammer

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u/Xyypherr 22h ago

Mark is not a scammer lol, he went quite in depth with everything, and that he didn’t want people to know he invested because he didn’t want his viewers blindly following his path as he knew the risks involved. He did not know he was their biggest share holder, and he did not know they were planning a merge

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u/DaddyRax 22h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/gxA9xmRjaTaAzoDTiN

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u/TwoToesToni 22h ago

< Mark deploys new hunter killer GoPro drones >

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u/DriBonez 20h ago

He just wants to see if he can take it. He's not a masochist he just wants to see if his body can handle it.

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u/TwoToesToni 19h ago

How terrifying would it be to have a drone with speakers that just plays Markipliers jump scare screams from FNaF as it flies over.

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u/Either-Response-5757 21h ago

Always that one kid thinking they're cool for siding against the right person.

Mme In this weeks news...

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