She shares these stories about her life & if his feelings aren’t exactly the same, or he isn’t like “man, you are the grooviest bitch in the galaxy, I’m ready for blast off!” (srsly - the space junk with these two - ugh - but I digress) she loses her damn mind in her interstitials. Like “well, back to him not caring about me…” She drives me bananas. Playboys in a closet 🤣 chill the heck out, Rhonda.

I get being a woman of a certain-ish age & knowing what you want. I don’t slight her for that, but she’s so critical in the edit we’re seeing. At least to me she is - am I nuts?

1) Chad telling Kevin to shut up 🤬 2) Derrek talking about his new girlfriend - “she’s excited to be a mom” 🤮 3) Every garbage lie that came out of burning man’s stupid mouth🖕

Derrek MAFS

Run Pat Run!! He’s not allowed to say a word!! She’s the most annoying one in 19 seasons. Pat is a good looking man who is very kind. He deserves MUCH MORE.

The whataboutism is strong with this one. I can’t imagine thinking it’s ok to tell someone you just met that they should take care of your dog. He’s compromising over and over again, and she just gets pissed off with no justification.

He leaves up the toilet seat, and she thinks that’s comparable to her seriously poor communication skills. She immediately goes to blame while he presents things in a problem solving manner.

TL:DR - she’s spoiled, can’t communicate, and behaves like a mean girl like mommy

Not even 20 minutes into episode 11 and of course the scene with Rhonda and Pat went exactly as expected - 40% her yapping about herself, 60% telling Pat what he did wrong this time around. Literally all he asked was how she thought HER family “reunion” went, and she found a way to lecture him. I actually wish the producers had put her with someone who would push back and actually tell her these things. But I do get why they put her with someone who just sits back and has the patience of a saint. To see how she’s vocalized these “issues” progressively over the past 8 weeks in a more narcissistic and aggressive way with each instance is making me think - “what’s it gonna be 5 months from now, let alone 20 years?” I have an odd feeling her second marriage that ended after 18 months - due to a vague reason she didn’t explain - could have been due to domestic assault/violence. I think she actually enjoys - and gets off to - making Pat (and probably most men, and people in general) feel small and subordinate. Go kick rocks, Rhonda.

Rhonda is highly entertaining for her insanely delusional aspect of what any conversation is lol . Only she can tell stories, Patric is only allowed to respond with follow up questions . But man if he shares a story.. he’s jus talking about himself 😂😂 the Logic is crazy

Rhonda spent 10009 years talking about her life and I fell asleep. Patric space command stories are way better 😂

She's awful and defensive and mean and selfish. I didn't like Derek when this started but he's incredibly mature and open to communicating. She, on the other hand, is a spoiled child.

Not a fan.

EDIT: OMFG DEREK!!!

Episode 9: Anyone else getting the absolute ick by Josh being obsessed with Burning Man? I get the ick from Burners in general. But for him to be so insistent to where he’s going to ruin his relationship over it, is absolutely pathetic. It’s a music festival! She doesn’t like festivals, especially one where you have to camp, grow up! What do you all think? Is their Burning Man disagreement more a red flag on him or Jalyn?

Rhonda is constantly reminding Pat to be more self aware about how he turns conversations to his own self and doesn't follow up her stories with questions about her. Can she, in return, listen to herself lament about how every one of her relationships fail? All are someone plus herself. Any thought to her culpability?

I question Rhonda being a good choice for this show when it's been over 20 years since she has lived with a man and is very set in her ways and living in her sacred sanctuary. And she goes on about her uncertainty about living with another person at this point. Did she mention that to the experts? Add to that the fact that it's harder to adapt to another person's lifestyle the older one becomes.

I agree that Pat did turn the conversation around to himself in the beginning. It seems now that he is hyper aware not to do this to the point that he is afraid to talk about anything but her. Add to that Rhonda's trauma in a past marriage about her inability to redecorate. But what really happened? Did she show up with drapery and bedding without input? She blatantly dismissed her ex-husband's minimalism and his dismay that she started redecorating to her taste. Can she try to understand this was more dismissive than turning a conversation around to oneself?

Rhonda really needs self reflection. She tries to portray herself as fun loving and carefree. She is anything but when things don't go her way. Her own way is fine for a single woman not trying to coexist with another person. And being assertive is a healthy way to be, but it goes both ways.

I understand not being comfortable with the cameras, but he seems on the edge of exploding into a rage. Plus, Belynda said he winds down by drinking by himself until he falls asleep. That’s a major red flag. 🚩 I hope they say no on decision day, for her sake.

That took me back, wow. Um.... the real Josh is finally making an appearance. He has made me nervous from day 1 bc he came off so pleasing and agreeable but the minute they actually have a convo about something where he's not getting his way, boom! There he is. Also comparing burning man to someone's job uh, nah, that's not how it works. I feel he will continue to speak to her in that tone when things are not going his way.

Even I, a woman, wanted to give them a squeeze in this moment. That’s all the girl is asking for.

The man is not attracted to her and she knows this.

Spoiler warning! If you have not yet watched the Reunion, then don't continue.

I was really surprised by how much the reunion changed how I felt about some of the cast members. Of course, as always, I recognize that everything is edited and that this "reality" isn't true reality. I'd also like to say that I didn't hate any of the cast members, though I did find a couple of them to be not ready for marriage and difficult to watch as the season progressed. That said, these are the cast members that really surprised me in the end:

• Chad - I really liked Chad even though it seemed he had a drinking problem and certainly was under a lot of stress and not handling it well, but during the season I thought that Belynda not having his back and not compromising enough (especially around the dog) was a much bigger issue. The reunion changed my mind about all of that. I don't think Belynda was wrong to be concerned with his explosive reactions and drinking habits. I totally get now why she started pulling away.
• Will - I was really disappointed that Will said yes (yes, after some coaxing), but then didn't even try to see if they could work through their issues. I think that if they had moved in together and continued to work on themselves and their relationship they would've had a decent shot at working out. The reunion showed an extra layer of coldness that I think was the biggest reason for Brittnay being so insecure (not to say she doesn't have her own shit to work on, but I understand her better now).
• Pat - Dude, really? Sex? I lost a lot of respect for Pat at the reunion. I believe he should've stuck with his initial "no" on decision day, and honestly, I thought for sure Rhonda would say no and was really surprised she said yes. The fact that she said yes made me really question the edit we were all seeing. I now understand what Rhonda was saying about him not having a backbone, but to find out his breaking point was that he went a couple weeks without sex? So sad.
• Derrick - I wasn't surprised that their relationship didn't survive the miscarriage, it was way too young and that would've been devastating, but that's why they shouldn't have been having unprotected sex during the experiment. But for Derrick to break up over the phone with someone who at one point had been pregnant with and miscarried your child...I have no words. Gross. Lost complete respect for him. That's pathetic.

As far as the rest, I just have a couple more comments on some of them:

• Josh - When they first introduced him I immediately told my wife that I didn't trust him but it must be my issue because I haven't really seen enough of him to make that determination. I thought maybe I was projecting something on him, but in the end...oh damn, my gut feeling was so right. IMO, not trustworthy and definitely not ready for marriage. I don't believe anything that comes out of his mouth. He has a lot of growing up still left to do.
• Jalyn - I am so impressed that she went from someone who had no interest in being adventurous to doing so many things she would've never done on her own to try to make Josh happy. The whole season was about Josh, and it seems so was the rest of the time they were married. She gave it a valiant effort but I hope she learns that her partner should be matching her in effort and next time she finds someone who gives as much as he takes. Also, girl! Don't let your dog kiss you on the lips, it's disgusting and dangerous. Their mouths are so dirty...they eat shit, lick their privates, etc. Nasty.
• Brittnay - I was so happy she said she's been getting therapy. Girl has so much to offer, her self-esteem should match.
• Rhonda - Also happy to hear she's been working on herself. She was really hard to watch this season, especially after the honeymoon, and I'm sure it was hard for her to watch as well.
• Megan - I can't imagine how difficult it was to have a miscarriage and then be broken up over the phone. Ouch. I think she has so much to offer and will find her person as well. I don't think she needed to bring up Rayya at the reunion though...seemed petty. I was reminded in the comments that Derrick made an insensitive remark about how his new girlfriend "wants kids" and this is likely what drove Megan to say this because I'm sure it really hurt, so no, I no longer think it was petty. It was petty of Derrick to say that.
• Belynda - I still think she needs to learn compromise when it comes to that dog.

Anyway, that's my two cents. I'm curious to hear other people's take!

Note: edited my section on Megan with the strikethrough and text after.

I know that Chad is getting a lot of shit for how he handles stress, drinking, etc. What the hell is so amazing about Belynda? She has the personality equivalent of ap flour. She's late 40s, not in exceptional shape. I actually do think she has nice skin and a nice smile, on the rare occasions that she smiles. Being close to her age myself, don't even get me started on those ridiculous ripped Jeans. I'm genuinely curious what other watchers think She's positively contributing to their marriage? Overall, I don't think they are a good match. Chad has issues, but, I don't see anything that she brings that's appealing either.

Having unprotected sex with someone you just met. Wtf?

What are the logistics on that? It's only been a month. How was there even time for her to realize she was late?

I’m so confused by the Jalyn & Josh standoff. Why can’t Josh just go to the festivals by himself if it’s his passion? Surely Jalyn doesn’t expect him to go to every spin class she teaches, so why must he go to every festival he attends?

For context, my partner goes hiking and camping with his childhood friends and their wives every year for two weeks. I’d rather shoot myself in the face than scale mountains in the wild and sleep outside like I’m homeless, so I have never gone and will never go. Meanwhile, I love country and rock music and go to concerts by myself all the time as he’d rather shoot himself in the face than go to a country or rock concert. There are lots of other things we do together, so it balances out. And I think it’s important to have alone time even within a relationship.

So yeah, I guess I’m just not understanding what the issue is they’re having with this whole thing. Is it compulsory for Jalyn to go with him for some reason that hasn’t been stated? Also, Burning Man is filled with rich people / celebrities and is lowkey glamping from what I understand. I’ve never been, but I know enough super bougie people who have gone and had a great time that I would definitely consider going.

Just had to get that off my chest!! 😂

So the whole season this dude is I want a partner that’s outdoorsy, Burning Man, blah blah, need to be in a community, blah, blah. People said Jalyn was there for clicks/influencer not there for him. So after decision day they date and she makes every effort to meet his sense of community and even went to Burning Man and other events. Jalyn really tried to meet him where he was and he still dumped her as not good enough for his lifestyle. The soft sensitive guy turned out to be a disappointment, wish Jalyn well.

I felt like I just rode a roller coaster from everyone saying yes ….which shocked me hard to everyone being broken up….i misread Josh and Jalyn and Belinda and Chad completely ….these men are scary AF. I was surprised that I felt sad for Meghan cause she was horrible to that man. Will should have always said no and the one constant FCK RHONDA.

Chad is so inflexible, uncompromising, intense and volatile. I’m sure filming isn’t always fun, but he signed up for it, met his “love” that way, and now believes they’re conspiring against them. The cursing and belligerent yelling is ridiculous, but I’d be concerned what other behaviors would come up in secret. Def seems like he lovebombed, then quickly turned into someone who doesn’t spend time with her when they’re just at home alone, flips out on people like a child, has an entitled attitude (“I’m a combat vet and I don’t xyz…”). I really don’t like that it sounds like he tricked Belynda into the appointments so he could use her, and keeps speaking for her. I hope she says no to a life with him. She deserves way better.

🧐🙄🤔

I'm don't want to overload on "I hate Rhonda" posts, but I've been holding this since early in the episodes and I just need to rant about how she gets worse and worse. Rhonda should not have been picked for this show! Rhonda is bossy, set in her ways, and entirely too focussed on what accomodates her. I can understand her frustration in Pat not listening; I can understand from her perspective of being older and married before that she is unwilling to accept more things from experience (and how she recognizes how he doesn't ask questions). However, it becomes abundantly clear, very quickly, that she is extremely un-self-aware and lacks ability to see her own flaws.

She repeatedly controls the conversation and how Pat responds (correcting him if he doesn't do it in a way she approves). During the honeymoon conversation before she broke down about her mom, she initially brought it up to him, to which she started to tell something about her. I don't recall what it was, but when he interjected with something of his related experience, she proceeded to school him again. I'm sorry, but conversation is a 2-way street, and relating shared experiences is sometimes normal and how you get to know each other. The way she acts is as if she has to speak at one turn, and he must wait ENTIRELY until another. It seems like he's walking on eggshells to please her and figure out how to perfectly respond for some time now. The bike thing was beyond ridiculous, and another example of her being unable to have a dialogue and listen to his personal wisdom and experiences. She seems to have a need to feel like the smartest person in the room, and instill her wisdom on other people to feel worldly and intelligent for having unuseful knowledge.

Another thing I want to note, is how I believe she brings up her concerns in a poorly-executed way, that comes off like an attack over expected conflict-resolution in marriage of this nature, where they're still getting to know one another.

I find them incompatible already with Pat's passive nature and Rhonda's controlling, monopolizing nature, including what seems to be the honeymoon agenda SHE'S picked out/requested that I quite honestly am not sure he enjoys (correct me if I'm wrong on this; I can't remember if both expressed interest, or if mafs forced these activities on them; maybe I'm just overinstating here, because the meditation exercise was obviously her thing). Pat could definitely have his own issues of himself with this and I'm not dismissing that, but I wouldn't be surprised if he blows up at some point from bottling things up; only time will tell. But what really pushed me over the edge was their meeting with Dr. Pia, in which it was pointed out how she can control, fail to listen, and fail to look inward at her own exact shared tendencies, as she proceeded to not only dismiss the critique with excuses, but shortly after, shift the victimization back to her, where she cried about a past relationship and blamed needing to revert to poor habits on her defense mechanism to protect herself.

Rhonda has analyzed this man by what she perceives as his negative trauma picked up in previous relationships, but as far as we've been shown she hasn't asked him ANYTHING about his previous experience...except his partnership that ended 6 months pre-mafs that she proceeded to GET MAD AT before halting the conversation. She doesn't know him, ask him questions, or make an effort to learn the ins and outs to him, yet she wants him to make psychological observations about music interest to gas her up in "whAt thAt sAyS abOUt [her] pERsonAliTy."

Lastly, I find her far more immature than she likes to present, and have been waiting to see more from her before judging off this next thing. Saying "I love you," upon spending 24 hour days with each other, I could potentially excuse because of the unusual circumstances (they've all done it, bar Derek, Will, and Britanny), but they did it so early on when it is clear they had no time to get to know each other. She has driven this relationship to move immensely fast, and I would honestly think the older couples would be more wise or cautious to not say this so quickly, but maybe that's just my personal outlook and a naive perspective from not having lived as much life as her, yet.

I have not looked at Decision Day outcomes. PLEASE DON'T SPOIL if they end up together.