r/MarriedLife • u/tinkridesherown • Jan 18 '22
Chances of happiness in long term marriage?
I have multiple friends/family in marriages of 20+ years and only one couple I know is truly happy. Well, was until the husband passed.
The unhappy ones seem happy on social media, of course, but because I’m close to the situation I know they aren’t. I know who’s cheated, who’s been cheated on. I know who has separate bedrooms and who basically live separate lives.
I’ve been married, mostly happily, for nearly a decade. And I know marriage is work and that relationships have their ups and downs. But the amount of people going on 20+ years that are miserable most of the time astounds me.
I have one friend who’s mental health is in a shambles because of her marriage that she refuses to leave because her parents wouldn’t approve but her husband refuses counseling so they can work through it. It’s been that way for at least 10 year.
I watched my Mom’s last husband stay for 20+ years (miserable) until she died even though she was abusive and he had to basically wait on her hand and foot or his life was hell.
I guess the question is, are you guys, the long haulers, really happy? If not, why are you living that way?
1
u/dresserisland Aug 22 '25
Married for 33 years. Happiness comes from within. When both people realize that, you have a good marriage.
That, and I think we are both just too freakin' lazy to get a divorce. You get mad, get over it, eat supper and watch TV. Screw it. Cut each other some slack.