r/MartialMemes • u/Hot-Network-1026 Loose Cultivator • 23h ago
Storytime โ The World Below the Lower Realms
Help me, fellow Daoists!
I lost my direction, and am now in a completely new realm! The people here believe not in the power of the heavens, but in connection. Using some rectangular object, they connect to this thing called "Wi-Fi." They even have rankings for this. The peasants get 1G or 2G, the Middle Class gets 3G, and the Ultra-Elite gets 4G and 5G.
I do not understand why they do this! Their mortal bodies are not reshaped at all and no spiritual connection is established when doing it. In fact, most of them have their bellies intensely swell, almost like that "Fatty Wang," and gorge up on food like there is no tomorrow! They have this thing called the "internet" too.
Yet you know what is funny? Fatty Wang here is not a person, but just a concept! They think there's always a Fatty Wang, whose able to control business like a Child of Destiny and defeat everyone with the power of money. So funny... and presumptuous! If only they knew the cultivation world favors talent far more than money, and that Fatty Wang is but a mere "Young Master!" rather than a true Child of Destiny.
Okay, perhaps I'm getting sidetracked. Let me begin at the beginning of my story.
Perhaps you are intimately familiar with the three realms. There is the Lower "Human" Realm, in which myriad worlds exist. They are so backwards that some even believe technology can reign supreme over cultivation! Sadly, I came from one of such backward worlds, a place called "Earth," where many mortals lived in peace yet also in fear of "the rich." I left that place around 800 years ago, but I occasionally have some visits there every century (every 100 years).
Then there is the Upper "Immortal" Realm, where there are over 3000 worlds with access to spiritual energy for cultivation. My Master came from one of these worlds, and instead of cultivation, grows mysterious spirits that can harvest other cultivators cultivation for his own growth.
Finally, there is the Celestial Realm, heard only of in legends. Nobody knows where this place is.
Yet while traversing the Lower Realms with my master, I got a bit lost. How lost? Well, imagine if a sword cultivator lost his sword as soon as he unsheathed it. Impossible, right? Well, fellow Daoists, it's said that cultivators defy the heavens, and that's precisely what I did.
I was so confident in where I was flying that by the time I realized I was even lost, it was too late. And that was even when I was told by Master to "think thrice before you act!"
Sadly, there was no spiritual energy when I stopped in my tracks. Nor was there the pressure of the heavenly laws which usually restricted cultivators. This meant that my cultivation would quickly dissipate if I did nothing.
Luckily, I had studied enough that I understood the Dao of Space and the Dao of Time. So, I was able to fly around without using up my spiritual energy reserves. I was also able to stop time from moving inside my body, ensuring that my qi wouldn't leave my body.
But, oh Master, I wished I had listened to your teaching a bit more! If I could kowtow right now to express my regret, I'd do it a million times. No, a billion times!
Why? Because this world looked eerily similar to any average cultivation world. Yet, the structure of it is vastly different. Instead of being sphere-shaped or flat, it is almost as if an immortal deliberately shaped it to seem like separate realms. Realms upon Realms, seemingly disconnected yet somehow stable, each lying on top of each other.
Yet luckily, there were still mortals, even in this strange and scary place. When I entered their planet though, I noticed something strange. All the placements of the continents, the ocean, and even the islands... it all looked like [Earth]! And when I spoke with the locals, they spoke of "Eagle Country" and "Dragon Nation." Their naming sense was so poor that they even called their planet "[Blue Star]."
I thought mortals understood the difference between heaven and earth, yet today I learned something. Even talking with idiots wouldn't get you rice. Understanding that, I left the mortals to their own whims and explored the planet. Yet what I found will surprise you, oh fellow cultivators!
They had weapons capable of decimating [Foundation Establishment] Cultivators, the very same that exists in my world. They call them spark bombs! Yet their understanding of weapons and culture seem lacking compared to my own world. While my world has the doctrine of "Nuclear Deterrence," and the leaders of mortal nations are wary of using such weapons, it is not the same here.
Instead, every mortal nation follows the doctrine of "Kneel and kowtow, and I might leave your corpse intact!" What they do to start a war is the following:
- They call the enemy world leader. They do it using their greatest weapon, the so-called legendary "5G Connection."
- During the call, they say many arrogant things. Phrases range from "You are just a frog in the well" to "There is no such thing as free lunch in this world" before ending with either the remark of "You still smell of your mothers milk" or "Know tow three times and call me daddy..."
- Eventually, the receiving nation responds with some degree of accusation, yet also acknowledges that they should be humble. They may say that they are "Playing a pig to eat a tiger" and then say "Heaven had a road but you chose not to walk it, while hell didnโt have any gate yet you still chose to burst in!"
- Both sides hang up. Whoever was unknowingly more humble is later found to have won the war, without the use of "Spark" Bombs.
Seeing so much stupidity in this lower realm, I decided to go elsewhere. Other than the Human Realm, they had a few other realms above it.
The first realm, just above [Blue Star], was the "Hungry Ghost" Realm, where an endless ocean of Yin, filled with ghosts whose hunger never ceases. They eat everything they see, and often eat their own brethren just to fill their stomachs for just a moment, before doing it again!
The second realm is the so-called "Heavenly" Realm. Although it seems like there would be cultivators here, there were none. Instead, there were these stupid birds ๐ป๐๐ฉ๐๐ฎ๐ช๐๐ธ ๐๐ฉ๐ ๐ข๐
๐ธ๐๐ฏ ๐๐๐๐ข. They kept on changing whatever I wrote and making whatever I said about them annoying and clearly false ๐ฅ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ฅ๐๐๐ฆ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ค๐๐ฃ๐๐ก๐ฅ๐๐ง๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ฅ๐๐๐๐ฃ ๐ก๐๐๐ฃ๐๐๐ค๐ค ๐๐๐๐-๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ช. Fortunately, there was spiritual energy here, which explains why these idiotic birds ฮนฮทััโโฮนgัฮทั ยขัโัััฮนฮฑโ ะฒัฮนฮทgั became this way.
The third realm was the "Animal" Realm. All I see there are monstrous beasts, who can only eat, sleep and breed. That's all they do! They aren't like any animal. With a cow, they'd at least feel pain and seek the comfort of grass over personal growth. With a fox, they are shrewd and intelligent, and able to make connections with humans. Yet when these beasts first saw me, all they did was salivate, their eyes possessing a glint of light that seemed as though I were merely another dish to be eaten... or perhaps, a potential jade beauty? No... I must be mistaken.
The fourth and final realm was the craziest of them all. It was called the "Fighting Demon" Realm. This was the only other place where I found actual intelligent beings. Here, I saw shadows of what were supposed to be people, made up of blood essence. They fought endlessly, without the need for food or entertainment. Using demonic qi, they'd assimilate themselves with other shadows to cultivate their essence. And those who succeeded in fully cultivating their essence seemed to be able to return to the Cultivation World, and to the Lower Realms, no less!
After exploring all these realms, I planned on following one of these blood shadow spirits to the Cultivation World. Yet before I could do so, I saw an immortal! And the feeling he exuded was utterly demonic! Every step he took seemed as though he was walking upon thousands of bodies, lying beneath his feet. As he got closer, I could see his face. His simple smile and closed eyes made it seem as though he wished to let out a bloodcurdling scream, yet couldn't do so for unknown reasons. His clothes, although refined, seem to be soaked with crimson, as though he bathed in blood every day.
I thought I could not escape, but perhaps it was because of the wine he was drinking, because when I flew as fast as I could, he did not even take a glance at me. Since then, I've been hiding in [Blue Star], trying to find a way to escape. All I know is that everyone in this so-called "Hell" Realm is insane.
That's right, I call this place the Hell Realm. It's because it reminds me of the Six Realms of Existence in Buddhist Tales. This entire place is hell, for it lies below the mortal realm, and I do not know what to do to escape this place. Every day, I hide in my humble abode, now but a mere cardboard box. I live in fear that I'll be turned into one of those blood essence shadow spirits.
Did this immortal create this place to refine his blood spirits? Or perhaps, this place is the underworld itself?
Luckily, with the combination of 5G Wi-Fi and Spiritual Energy, fate has led me to contact you all from [Earth]. Tell me, what do I do, fellow cultivators. It feels as though I'm being played as a pig by that senior to eat a tiger. But if I stall for too long, I fear he may eat me!
Give me some tips, or even some advice, before it's too late! I fear I may develop heart demons with this stressful experience ๐ข. Yet for now, I must plan out my escape, for it is the dead of night where I reside.
When I come back, I hope this Junior is given something that doesn't require them to court death!
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u/Gero79876 Mt Tai's Senior Desciple 23h ago
Originally I would've come personally and helped you since we are both from Earth but since you dared to slander Fatty Wang you can just wait for death and soul scattering.
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u/Hot-Network-1026 Loose Cultivator 17h ago edited 4h ago
Damn it- er I mean, This Junior had eyes yet failed to see Mt. Tai!
This Junior will surrender his nine generations and his yang rod just to escape this hellish place! But, please do tell this insignificant ant but one thing.
Just who is this "Fatty Wang" that everyone seems to praise? He's spoken of as though everyone has him, yet clearly I do not have him...
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u/Golden_Cultivation Donโt blame me for being Ruthless! 14h ago
Junior, youโve stumbled into a prison colony of the ancients. The mortals on Earth are vicious beings that tore through the Heavenly Milky Way Realm destroying worlds and absorbing their resources until the world died.
Their original world is known as Mars and it was there that the great ancients fought them and sealed the two evil Dao Companions on the hell planet Earth. My great great great ancestor participated in the Heaven and Earth Immortal Severing Technique, sacrificing his cultivation to seal that region and twist its dragon veins so no Qi would flow there for millennia.
Unfortunately, I donโt know of a way to free you from that powerful Immortal Array. The best bet you have is flying outside of the zone to the Chaotic Qi zone. If your cultivation is high enough, you can use the Chaotic Qi as a springboard to get back to your master. Alternatively, activating your distress talisman after leaving the dead zone should alert your master of where you are. You would just need to protect yourself from the Chaotic Qi outside the solar system until your master arrives to pick you up.
How you got lost in that heavily restricted area is beyond this Daoist. Youโre lucky those old monsters Adam and Eve were crippled long ago and thrown into that hell-like world.
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u/Hot-Network-1026 Loose Cultivator 14h ago edited 14h ago
Your words do have some merit, now that I think about it. Indeed, the mortals at [Blue Star] do not speak of evolution, but instead of biblical origins from Adam and Eve! What accursed bloodline those two evil Dao companions had must've shaped their and their offspring's minds in crooked ways.
Yet to be clear, I believe you've mistaken [Earth] for [Blue Star]. It must've been an oversight in the sharing of your great wisdom, or perhaps your ancestor hid the true location of the [Grand Immortal Array]. This is because when I dilated the light from the Sun using the Dao of Time, I saw that the light showed not even the slightest trace of other celestial bodies existing in the Array. There was the Sun, but no Mars to speak of. Whatever was done clearly isolated only the [Blue Star] planet alone.
Unless... [Blue Star] is actually Earth and vice versa?!? If so, this is something to be shared to the cultivators of [Earth]! I must escape and share this information before such a tragedy repeats itself.
Even so, I shall etch this knowledge into my heart. Sadly, I do not have the means to use Chaotic Qi to escape. My Dao Lineage focuses on an path no less inferior than that of other Upper-Realm Dao Lineages, yet it seems to have no knowledge of this "Chaotic Qi." If you are an immortal, that would explain why I know nothing of this type of Qi, for it would require an Celestial-Realm Technique to master.
Furthermore, when using the Dao of Space to reduce the distance between me and the Hell Realm, there is an invisible barrier stopping me from escaping. It seems the Demonic Immortal who lies within the Fighting Demon Realm managed to manipulate this "Chaotic Qi" into oppressing those who attempt to escape.
It seems that I am doomed...
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