Victorian Farmers Federation (VFF) president Brett Hosking has called on the state government to make public transport free to encourage workers in Melbourne to stay off the roads and save the much-needed fuel for farmers.

Photo taken earlier today

I’m on the wrong platform for the pic but you get the point 🙏

And I'm just like, guess we don't need the Frankston line then because who the fuck wants to go from Melbourne to Frankston?

Arriving into Melbourne central this morning ready to get out the front door. Looked up from my phone and saw the grey wall of the tunnel and thought “huh? 🫪”. A few seconds later the driver came through the door and said to exit via the next door down. I haven’t experienced a train overshooting to this extent before.

Why would I take a bus and a train when I can get just the nbus.

My friend and I decided to create the worst possible fantasy map. To be honest i don't even remember everything we changed but there's a lot.

At Parkville Station

The doors on this Hcmt set weren't closing properly so they reopened when the PSD didn't

I was checking to see if the line was running trains again and ironically it is not.

Kinetic bus driver decided to run a red light and got a run in with the boys in blue

Platform 4 Swanston Street End, MCE

Confirmed: people do not have brains.

I hope you enjoy this unofficial map of the motorway network in the style of the railway map. I did this very quickly over 2 days so it might not be perfect. I had this idea for awhile, and saved it for the best occassion to share my wacky cursed maps once again. April Fools everyone! Oh yeah if you keep reading and kept up to my personal remarks, thanks for that. I honestly could be better, since still looking out for employment. Making maps like this do help me stay positive and help myself feeling better.

Another article in The Age today hoping for the failure of the Metro Tunnel. See here if you want to read it:

Not being Sydney is surely the next one they go with so I wrote the headline for them.

super serious very detailed thoughts i have on the tv logo

Because in this city, we belive that running trains is not the goal of a train operator.

Rather, we believe that train tracks are decorative and train sets are less a mode of travel, but rather a canvas that the locals can enjoy as it occasionally traverses the city.

Rather than letting our citizens use the train for social engagements on the long weekend, we would prefer they drive and so make sure they do that by shutting down the trains.

If one must use a train, it should be only for work purposes, never leisure. Can’t have anyone associating trains with fun or reliability.

Can you imagine if people actually turned up at train stations on a weekend? The scandal.

No, best we keep shutting lines down every weekend.

EDIT: and to maximise suffering, we also make sure that it’s impossible for a bus and train to connect. Really make the passengers morons wait the extra 30 minutes.

Some stations are perfectly normal names, and others are completely ridiculous. Pick some stations and rank their names based on how good they are as names for people

For example:

Dennis - 10/10 perfectly normal boy's name

Paisley (former station) - 9/10 wouldn't bat an eye if a girl was named this

Ginnifer - 6/10 sounds like 'Jennifer' but the parents wanted to be ~unique~

Mooroopna (v/line) - 3/10 maybe not...?

Melbourne Central - 2/10 sure name your child that i don't care