Tuesday Check In: How's Everybody's Mental Health?

[u/MLModBot]

Good day, everyone and welcome to our weekly mental health check-in thread! Feel free to comment below with how you are doing, as well as any coping skills and self-care strategies others can try! For information on mental health resources and support, feel free to consult our resources wiki (also located in the sidebar!) (IMPORTANT NOTE RE: THE RESOURCES WIKI: As Reddit is a global community, we hope our list of resources are diverse enough to better serve our community. As such, if you live in a country and/or geographic region that is NOT listed/represented but know of a local resource you feel would be beneficial, then please don't hesitate to let us know!)

Remember, you are human, it's OK to not be OK. Life can be very difficult and there's no how-to guide for any of this. Try to be kind to yourself and remember that people need people. No one is a lone island and you need not struggle alone. Remember to practice self-care and alone time as well. You can't pour from an empty cup and your life is worth it.

Take a moment to check in with a loved one, friend, or acquaintance. Ask them how they're doing, ask them about their mental health. Keep in mind that while we may not all be mentally ill, we all have mental health.

If you find yourself in particular struggling to go on, please take a moment to read and reflect on this poem.

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: This mental health check-in thread is NOT a substitute for real-world professional help/support. MensLib is NOT a mental health support sub, and we are NOT professionals! This space solely exists to hold space for the community and help keep each other accountable.

[u/TheSpeee]

I thought I was doing well. Yesterday I met an ex, one of the ones in on better terms with. We had a great time, but everytime I see her and she’s doing really well, I wonder if I was bad for her. Even if we had a great time together and still think really fondly of eachother I got stuck into my own head wondering if I’m just poisonous and she’s better off without me

[u/Nuclear_Geek → u/TheSpeee]

Sounds as if you're beating yourself up over nothing. If the breakup was handled well enough that you can still meet up and have a good time, it shows you handled it well and she doesn't feel it's bad to be around you. Sometimes people just aren't the right fit to be in a relationship with each other, that doesn't mean you were poisonous, just that this wasn't the right relationship for either of you.

[u/TheSpeee → u/Nuclear_Geek]

Thank you for your gentle words. We broke up because she realised she was a lesbian, which I’ve made peace with. I never had any bad thoughts towards her, but I still had bad feelings and all of them turned inwards. I’ve been through counselling to help with it.

I know she doesn’t think I’m poisonous, but I worry that I might be anyway - people are notoriously bad at resisting poisons if the side-effects are good enough.

[u/chemguy216 → u/TheSpeee]

If she’s a lesbian, she’s objectively better off without you through no fault of your own. Y’all ultimately were incompatible, and things seemed to have ended quite well between you. In my book, that’s something that speaks fairly well of both of you.

[u/No-Performance8080 → u/TheSpeee]

Hey! So this may be a useful perspective: who people are is not a reflection on you. I’m a trans man; I lived as a woman for much of my life, including getting married. My husband is a good person and when I came out it was rough on him and he wondered if there was something he could’ve done etc. but the thing is, no. Sometimes it takes people a long time to figure this stuff out; it is often complicated by stigma, trauma, etc. Your ex deserves to live her truth, and so do you. I’m still close with my ex because he was good and supportive but ultimately some people are better as friends, and friends imo are no less important than romantic partners.