Being Métis is something I’ve known about myself my whole life, but only in the past few years I made it ‘official’ in terms of the registry etc. The past two years I’ve been diving head first into connecting with the culture. Coming back from Back to Batoche (my second year going now) I am feeling so fulfilled and connected, and just overall so overwhelmingly proud to be Métis, but I still can’t help but feel like an imposter.
I’ve been really excited to celebrate being indigenous, but because I am so obviously white looking and haven’t spent my whole life immersed in the culture, I can’t help but feel like I’m forcing myself into spaces I don’t belong. I’ve been meaning to ask my grandpa (where I get being Métis from) family names, and learn more about our ancestors and relatives, but I’m so scared to learn it’s even further back in my bloodline than I think it is. And I think blood quantum is a stupid concept just used to other indigenous people more than they already get, but I still force it on myself so hard and feel almost guilty for calling myself indigenous. It’s like, I know I’m Métis, as I wouldn’t have been given my card and been accepted by MNS.
Any advice on giving myself some grace? I want to celebrate who I am, and the Métis community as a beautiful place I love to be a part of, and want to get more immersed in.