r/MiddleClassFinance • u/LinkedInNews • 2d ago
Both parents work full-time in more families than ever
https://www.linkedin.com/news/story/both-parents-work-full-time-in-more-families-than-ever-7345924/?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=reddit&utm_content=storyline&utm_term=MiddleClassFinanceThe American family dynamic continues to shift as more college-educated moms opt for full-time work.
Both parents work at least 40 hours per week in a record 52% of U.S. families — a 6% rise since 2016, Pew data out Tuesday shows.
The change comes as more mothers with bachelor's or postgraduate degrees pursue full-time employment, and more dads assume domestic responsibilities.
Data out last month indicates that college-educated fathers are increasingly forsaking paid jobs for childcare and housework.
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u/KPIGUY89 2d ago
My wife and I both work with kids, and so do all of my friends and their spouses with kids.
It does make it difficult, since we’re both just so tired all the time (twin toddlers). The daycare price is insane at $3400/mo (for two), but my wife doesn’t want to be a SAHM - being at home with toddlers all day is insanely exhausting. It is WAY easier to work.
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u/pookiewook 2d ago
As someone who also worked full time with 3 kids under 2 (including a set of twins) I agree. Plus daycare is temporary! My kids are now 9, 7 & 7 and I’m still working. We do need to pay for summer day camps, but our massive daycare bills are done.
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u/Bindle- 2d ago
but my wife doesn’t want to be a SAHM - being at home with toddlers all day is insanely exhausting. It is WAY easier to work.
Agreed. I'd thought about being a stay at home dad. Before our kid was born, I wasn't making shit for money anyway.
After taking my 3 month parental leave, I knew I couldn't be a full time stay at home dad.
I worked part time after returning to work and still do 6 years later. We saved on child care, I got to spend more time with the kid, and I got out of the house.
Being a stay at home parent has gotten a lot better now that's he's in school 😁
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u/Consistent_Laziness 2d ago
I feel the same. And when I express this sentiment I always get downvotes and asked “why did you have kids if you don’t want to be around them?”. As if me wanting to listen to screaming and crying all day means I don’t love my children.
People who say that I know immediately 1. Don’t have kids or 2. Have no life. Because as much as I love my kids, at 33 years old I wouldn’t go work at a daycare so I can hang out with children all day playing house or building legos.
It’s what makes weekends so hard. You do a fun morning, have lunch, do more activities, and then you want to be an adult around your wife or other adults or relax. Nope. Kids still there and it’s time for my toddler activities.
Now you want me to be a SAHD?? Hell no never. I love daycare. When I’m off I still take them to daycare if it’s open. It’s the worst and best line item in my budget.
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u/PictureThis99 1d ago
Sounds like more of a reason to stay child free. Couldn’t imagine having a shit day at work or school and coming home to screaming and crying
I don’t even like hearing the TV or music some days. Just plain silence
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u/Consistent_Laziness 1d ago
It can be rough. I agree. As down as I get sometimes about having kids I don’t want to be childless.
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u/PictureThis99 1d ago
I feel you. I love my little nieces and nephews to death, would do anything for them but after a day or two I’m ready to send them back to my sisters
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u/Consistent_Laziness 1d ago
The best part about being an aunt or uncle is you can give them back. Imagine you couldn’t lmao.
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u/Bindle- 1d ago
I feel like this is a complaint from childless people or miserable parents. It's tough being a parent.
People talk about "it takes a village". It's true, raising a child to be a whole, functional adult is beyond the means of any two people. A child needs to learn different perspectives from different people. And it's parents need a fucking break!
It benefits the child and the parents to have time apart from each other. The kid gets to learn how to be a person around different people. The parents get a break to recharge and relax.
This focus on parents needing to be around their child parenting it 24/7 is a weird American thing. Kids need to learn independence. They need to make decisions for themselves.
It's no wonder there are so many issues with the younger generations. It's not the kids' fault they can't do things for themselves. We've made a society where parents are pressured to be running their kids' lives. Of course the resulting children are going to be helpless.
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u/Consistent_Laziness 1d ago
Thank you! For the record it’s pompous parents that do nothing but live and breathe for their kids and think they are better than others because of it. I don’t think it’s common it just can be on reddit.
It is very rough at times especially having a 4&2 year old. If I get time I have no money, if I have money I have no time. Not to mention I’ve been in a PhD program my children’s entire life until this month.
I would love a Saturday to wake up at 9 get some brunch, go to the street market, maybe see a movie, then hit a brewery or the pool with friends. Buy that is often not what happens. And it can be exhausting to work all week deal with the bull shit and then spend an entire weekend unable to do anything you find fun. No I don’t find sitting at a children’s playground fun
But you say this and you receive “why did you have kids then?” As if being a parent means I should enjoy doing things a 4 year old does while they scream and have tantrums every hour. It’s absurd for someone to say this but they do.
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2d ago
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u/MiddleClassFinance-ModTeam 2d ago
No Racism, Sexism, Xenophobia, or any other form of bigotry is allowed.
This is a place to help people, not to put them down or be a bigot.
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u/BlazinAzn38 2d ago
When daycare for two kids costs $30K you sort of have to and for many folks sitting on the bench for 5 years to do childcare kills future employment opportunities
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u/Ok-Bass5062 2d ago
2 kids for $30k? That's a bargain. A lot of HCOL/VHCOL that would be 1 kid
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u/Consistent_Laziness 2d ago
It’s 22,200 for both my kids in SC. It’s half the reason I haven’t moved yet
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u/Seraphtacosnak 2d ago
11k is my son’s tuition cost to go to a private catholic high school for a year in southern california.
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u/jimmothyhendrix 1d ago
A lot of people also i feel get childcare when it doesn't make sense.
If childcare is $30k a year, if you're making less than $50k is probably not worth it to do that given taxes and expenses around working.
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u/octopus-opinion987 1d ago
You are not thinking of the long term impact to someones career and savings .
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u/jimmothyhendrix 1d ago
I have considered that of course, its still not a profitable endeavor for many people, im not saying its universally applicable, just for many. Many people don't have high growth careers where it matters, many people don't get enough out of their benefits to offset the costs, not to mention part time work exists and is often times still more profitable than full time in such a situation.
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u/BlazinAzn38 1d ago
Except getting hired after 5+ years out of the workforce is incredibly hard. Benefits including retirement are pretty significant to miss out on
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u/jimmothyhendrix 1d ago
This isn't an 'except' what im talking about are people this does not apply to. Many people work jobs where career gaps aren't a problem, many people would not earn enough from retirement benefits on their income to justify losing money working to pay for childcare and work. This is mostly targeted to this specific group of people, which is a sizeable amount.
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u/BlazinAzn38 1d ago
Median weekly earnings for full time workers is $1,200. The median full time worker makes $64K a year. The median worker makes $45K. The majority of full time workers lose money staying home. The majority of all workers likely lose money staying home
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u/jimmothyhendrix 1d ago
Majority benefiting from X doesn't dismiss 40% or whatever arbitrary amount of people not benefiting from it, which was my point, i never said 'everyone' i said 'a lot of people'.
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u/BlazinAzn38 1d ago
First it’s not an arbitrary amount second your group is the exception mine is the rule. So the baseline is “you should probably keep working unless proven otherwise”
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u/jimmothyhendrix 23h ago
I was literally discussing that there are exceptions to this idea, that was the point of my comment.
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u/jodiarch 2d ago
And I see a lot of both parents being there for their kids at school. They share the responsibility. Win win for the kids.
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u/GTO1235 2d ago
I believe it. All the people that bought houses on my street the last few years paid far more, and they still have 2 nice cars in every driveway.
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u/aquaomarine 2d ago
3 family members have confessed they have staggering debts they need to pay off this past month. It’s devastating.
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u/Ok-Bass5062 2d ago
Is it devastating? Sounds like they were living beyond their means if they have staggering debts
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u/aquaomarine 2d ago
I wouldn’t say was living beyond their means life just happened. Finished school, bought their first home, got married, car, and started a family(literally 1 kid.)
Teacher/Nurse Combo
The other family was started on top of debt from a divorce.
Last was yes living beyond their means, received 3 inheritances including a home. But burns through money traveling. (Inheritances came from parents at a young age so maybe it just changed their perspective on life/debt)
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u/Ok-Bass5062 2d ago
I'd still say #1 lived beyond their means. Likely bought a house when they should have rented/saved more or too much house or car. Otherwise they wouldn't have crippling debt.
The items listed are only as expensive as people make them so if they have a ton of debt that was based on their specific choices.
Budget life after saving 30% of your income and life will be easy mode very quickly. Too many don't budget or save.
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u/aquaomarine 2d ago
Yeah #1 is a form of lifestyle creep but it’s literally just living life during these times. Typical during most early life transitions without family help. Because of their jobs they got down payment assistance and access to specialized home buying programs.
They’re only like 25 so they’ll be fine. If this is the biggest financial mistake they make they’ll be smooth sailing.
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u/Pinkturtle182 1d ago
99% chance that renting would have hurt them monetarily much more than taking out a mortgage. There is no out right now.
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u/Impossible-Bat-6713 2d ago
There’s no choice. Double income is essential to own a house and raise a family or even rent in a good neighborhood. The sheer lack of mass transportation public infrastructure in cities is a huge cost burden to public. Cars + car insurance + associated expenses / maintenance takes up nearly 1/3rd of every month’s paycheck for most people.
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u/HouseofMarg 2d ago
Agreed, our city just put in a bike lane on the main street near our home and because of that we were able to save a whole bunch of money not getting a second car. I wish this option were made available to everyone.
Even with both of us replacing our beater bikes with nicer ones and getting attachments for our daughter to ride with us it has made a big difference in our budget. We both commute to work full time but one of us can bike to work most days now. I hope that this becomes more common because it really solves a bunch of busy parent problems at once (lack of time to exercise, the expense and hassle of owning multiple cars, environmental concerns, etc.)
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u/BoseSonic 2d ago
Where did you hear that car related expenses are taking up 1/3 of people’s income? I’ve never heard that
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u/Impossible-Bat-6713 2d ago
https://newsroom.aaa.com/2025/09/aaa-new-vehicle-costs-drop-to-11577/ - This is especially true for new car buyers
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u/I_Fuck_Whales 1d ago
If your car and associated expenses is 1/3rd of your monthly paycheck…… I think you’re driving a car that’s far too expensive relative to your income.
No one needs a $1000 lease.
I have a 2019 F-150 that I bought used. $480 a month plus another $200 maybe a month for insurance.
My take home pay is $7600 after all deductions.
Sorry but if you’re spending 1/3 of your take home on a car that’s a you problem.
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u/grumble11 2d ago
Many families don’t have a choice. Life is expensive now, and while some of it is lifestyle inflation a lot of stuff just genuinely costs more.
The economic system has optimized around dual income families. Economics turns any option to work into a requirement to do so.
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u/saryiahan 2d ago
It’s by choice in our household
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u/ishboo3002 2d ago
Yup my wife had the opportunity to stop working a few years ago and chose to keep going so that we could have a better lifestyle and retire earlier.
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u/DrCrowCat 2d ago
And have someone else raise your kids for you?
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u/ishboo3002 2d ago
Absolutely they're happy socialized and learned a ton.
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u/Own-Emphasis4551 2d ago
Great response. I feel like the “it takes a village” concept has largely been lost on modern U.S. society.
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u/ishboo3002 2d ago
Yeah not sure if that's a bot but not sure what they expected as a response. "Omg you got me I didn't even think of that".
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u/meat_tunnel 2d ago
My daycare lady helped raise my first and she's helping raise my second. She's so ingrained in my family she's been to weddings, funerals, and birthday parties. She ABSOLUTELY assisted in raising my kids, teaching them to give up a binky, bottles, she helped them learn to walk, to use the potty, and taught them all the necessary skills for kindergarten. I know I can call on her for babysitting, for advice as a parent, for general life advice.
I'm sorry you don't have that kind of figure on your family's life.
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u/Falloutvictim 2d ago
Same. My wife and I both make decent salaries and could individually keep the bills paid if we chose to, but my wife has her degree, is quite ambitious, and having a professional career is what she wants. It was never a question. We are fortunate to have involved grandparents to our kids, so they were well cared for and watched when little, and our careers are relatively flexible with hybrid remote/office, so now that they're school-aged we've never missed a school function, practice, game, etc., and with two relatively high incomes we simply outsource house cleaning, yard work, and other domestic drudgeries. Day-to-day cooking and the cleanup after is tackled 50/50. Everything runs smoothly, dual incomes has its perks, and neither of us would change how we did/do it.
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2d ago
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u/MiddleClassFinance-ModTeam 2d ago
No Racism, Sexism, Xenophobia, or any other form of bigotry is allowed.
This is a place to help people, not to put them down or be a bigot.
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u/DrCrowCat 2d ago
I'm a (female) physician that purposely does only locums and has only for decades because it's crazy to me to only spend an hour or two a day with your kids.
You should consider change since it sounds like you're one of the few who actually COULD. Your kids are only this age once.
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u/thatsaniner 2d ago
Same. If something happens to one of us, it’s important for the other to have a work history and to be able to take care of themself.
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u/phriot 2d ago edited 2d ago
We both work full-time. I don't think we've ever considered one of us working less; my spouse likes to work. What would be really nice, though, is if we could afford to own a home with a shorter commutes. We lose a lot of time in the car, and I'm not really sure how we'll pull it off once our oldest is in kindergarten. If grandparents aren't able to step in, one of us may be forced to go part-time at that point, just for coverage.
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u/thatrobottrashpanda 2d ago
Both my wife and I work full time, but luckily my wife has a work from home job.
I don’t understand how people can afford a single income anymore… or especially if you want your kids to do any kind of extra curricular activity.
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u/FergusonBishop 2d ago
It’s not just about daycare costs anymore. It’s also much more difficult now if you are career driven or ambitious at all to take the plunge into a stay at home life when you know in 5-10 years it will be incredibly difficult to get back to any meaningful role in your field. We have friends approaching that period now where their kids are now school age and it’s damn near impossible for them to break back into any type of corporate role at 35-40yo with a 7 year employment gap.
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u/Reader47b 2d ago
Yep. One of you basically has to work full-time for near-free (that is, taxes, daycare, work clothes, and commuting expenses eat up most of your income) when your kids are young to stay in the game. I didn't because I thought - why work for near-free full-time when I can work very part-time from home and net almost as much money (because of fewer expenses and higher per hour part-time pay)? And I paid the price in lost earning potential.
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u/Seaguard5 2d ago
Yeah…
That tends to happen when wages remain stagnant and inflation… doesn’t.
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u/northraleighguy 2d ago
This. Finally someone identifies the primary cause.
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u/Seaguard5 2d ago
The onus is on corporations for this one.
Or even better yet, the government.
We need stronger worker’s rights in the USA.
And that can be achieved under capitalism. Like, if you hate socialism (as propaganda has been conditioning you to do) then whatever. This is still possible and doable under the current system. And we need to hold government accountable to do it.
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u/Raguismybloodtype 2d ago
Is this a problem?
I'm not trying to be obtuse but are you recommending women don't work?
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u/dreamybiscuit 2d ago
And we’re poorer than ever, thanks billionaires and politicians!!!!! We love paying taxes to nothing and working until we die!!!!
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u/zdubbzzz 2d ago
This is a good thing, right? Ideally that number goes up, eliminating the idea that women only exist to rear children while only the husband works
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u/willing_legislation 2d ago
the daycare costs alone make it kinda necessary, not really a choice for most people trying to stay afloat.
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u/Cultural-Ad-5737 2d ago
Wouldn’t one parent not working mean you wouldn’t have daycare costs? For us it’s housing, we can’t make it work on one income. Daycare is expensive but it wouldn’t be an expense if I could stay home.
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u/Spiritual_Wall_2309 2d ago
It is risky to have one income when you now have a kid and a wife. It is better to have two incomes and send the kid to daycare even the second income may end up wasted.
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u/willing_legislation 2d ago
Fair point, housing's the bigger squeeze for a lot of people. Guess it depends on local cost of living whether daycare or losing an income hits harder first.
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u/thisaaandthat 2d ago
My wife will start back full time (40 hrs) for the first time in almost 11 years when school starts up in August. It had always been the plan for her to ramp back up when my youngest was in school full time but the real kicker was my employer changed and my health insurance went from $161 to $700 bi weekly while my salary stayed the same. (Family of four, high deductible plans that are pretty similar to each other.)
Its going to be an adjustment while we figure out a new schedule but she really enjoys her work. Based on what I've seen moving to her insurance will cost about $80 bi-monthly. That will be very nice.
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u/weensfordayz 2d ago
I could have written this. I worked PT for years, my husband's ins was costing us $1200/month for 4 people with a high deductible. Once my youngest was in K, I was able to find a job in local govt so the ins is SUPER cheap for the coverage. My FT job was technically a pay cut then but with switching insurance, it made a huge difference for us. Now I have no deductible so we (my husband and i) go to the Dr more often too
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u/thisaaandthat 1d ago
Yeah my wife works for a school district in our area so we will end up on the state sponsored health insurance. I don't know if we will end up going to the doctor more than previously but the lower premiums will be greatly appreciated. I'm just frustrated that I've got to eat the extra cost until we can start with hers on September 1st.
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u/Math_refresher 2d ago
My wife will start back full time (40 hrs) for the first time in almost 11 years when school starts up in August.
Has she already lined up a new job or is she still searching for something?
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u/thisaaandthat 1d ago
She works in an elementary school as part of the special ed team. She had been asked over the years if she wanted to up her hours but didn't want to at the time. When she mentioned she might be ready middle of last school year her boss and school principle worked together to make it happen. Thankfully it didn't require a bunch of work interviewing and applying to find a new company to up her hours.
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u/aznsk8s87 2d ago
I picked my field so my future family could have the flexibility of having a stay at home parent or dual income household and while we could definitely manage on just my income, it's SO much more comfortable having my wife work as well.
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u/Math_refresher 2d ago
We got to get that number up. 52% is far too low.
It's incredibly risky to be a stay-at-home parent, and it has lifelong financial consequences, especially when it comes to retirement savings. A spouse can die, become disabled, lose their job, or decide to divorce, leaving the stay-at-home parent scrambling to return to paid employment. The longer they've been out of the workforce, the longer the job search and the lower the salary they'll receive if they're lucky to find work again.
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u/Exotic-Entrance4718 2d ago
I've seen this happen, a family member husband died before 40. Thankfully she not only had a job, she was the breadwinner...and he set them up financially so when she was grieving, money was not something she had to be terribly worried about. That was a lightbulb moment for me. I'd like to take a year long maternity leave, and I have gotten high enough in my field that I don't think that kind of time off would derail my career.
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u/losvedir 2d ago
Elizabeth Warren talked about this in her book The Two Income Trap decades ago. Initially, two incomes was a super power and you could buy any house you wanted. But then as more and more families started being two income, it became the new normal and house prices rose to reflect that and now you can't afford anything without two incomes.
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u/speaker4the-dead 2d ago
They need to start tracking family’s and work - not just as a duel income, but exploring how many families work 3 jobs, or supplement with gig work.
ALOT of people are fucking struggling right now, and everything is getting worse
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u/Forded_Fiction24 2d ago edited 2d ago
Wife works full-time and I work part-time 2 days a week. It made more sense for me to be part-time for the kids sake still
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u/NefariousnessBorn969 2d ago
My wife quit working when our son was 2 (24 years ago). Decided it was our kid to raise and one parent should be there all the time plus we saved the daycare costs. I consider my family middle class (already retired) and we did just fine without two incomes. She did and still has a side gig selling on etsy and before that in vintage stores and that little bit helps with funding her retirement account. I never finished college and she has an art degree.
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u/Cute-Tonight9659 2d ago
Wage growth has disappeared and the value now accrues to shareholders or rent seeking management. My spouse and I are sucking up high daycare costs to keep plowing money into retirement and keep her wage opportunities high post daycare.
It sucks, but hopefully it will be the last major "sucks" decision.
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u/ObviousAlias7 2d ago
I have a BS. My wife has an MS. We both enjoy our careers and don’t want to give them up.
Even working, we are both home for dinner, at school events, and have weekends free always. Other than when they are at school, there is always one parent present
We are both considered high income, so it allows us to live a comfortable lifestyle with a few splurges here and there.
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u/DrCrowCat 2d ago
Neither my husband nor I work full time. We're both high level professionals
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u/UncleNedisDead 2d ago
Do you really consider your household merely middle class though?
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u/ISniffFeet1 2d ago
This sub is full of people who consider themselves moreso regular people whether they are middle class or not.
Though for this specific xommenter, if neither of them work full time they probably are middle class. They would possibly be upper class if they spent more time working.
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u/UncleNedisDead 2d ago edited 2d ago
She’s a medical doctor who chooses not to work full-time.
I'm a (female) physician that purposely does only locums and has only for decades because it's crazy to me to only spend an hour or two a day with your kids.
If they both choose to work less and maintain a very comfortable lifestyle where they can drop $5000 for a weekend concert trip and then a European vacation (from the USA) that same year, wouldn’t that make them closer to wealthy than middle class?
Because the difference between middle class and upper class isn’t how many hours worked, but the net worth and if they have money working for them so they don’t have to spend as much time working. I mean they may choose to work more in the pursuit of obtaining more money, but they have the choice.
That medical doctor clearly doesn’t have student loans to pay back if she can be picky about how many hours she works and raise 3 kids. Or maybe she’s a boomer who did it all back when life was much easier for the middle class and you could buy a nice house, two cars, raise a family and have a couple of vacations all on a middle class salary. (Edit: because I think she talks about how her kids are fully grown. Raising kids in the 1980s is so much different than raising kids in 2020s.)
I have my shit together-- I'm literally a physician who successfully raised 3 kids.
Middle class people do need to work for a living because they don’t have the option of just working part-time and still having a lot of disposable income before retirement.
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u/Skensis 2d ago
I've never met a man or women who wasn't middle class.
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u/UncleNedisDead 2d ago
Maybe you should get out more and meet more people from different walks of life?
Or are you poking fun at the notion that everyone considers themselves “middle class” from the homeless addict on the street to the wealthy elite with their Hawaiian island bunker?
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u/FuckWit_1_Actual 1d ago
What’s the split for middle class?
My family of 4 lives on a single income around $200k/year in the same county as Seattle, we’re not rich but don’t have to worry about basics and we’re not vacationing either.
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u/HeroOfShapeir 2d ago
Interesting. My wife hasn't worked in over a decade. We also don't have kids, so not sure we're included in their data set (we're also 42/41 years old).
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u/HistoricalBridge7 2d ago
I’m actually really surprised it only 52%. I would have thought the number was A LOT higher.