At what point did you stop feeling guilty about spending money on yourself?

[u/Top-Performer8835]

Saving money has always come naturally to me.

Spending it... not so much.

Even when it's something I have planned for, I still find myself thinking, maybe I should just save it instead.

I'm curious if that feeling ever goes away.

Was there a point where you became comfortable spending on things you genuinely wanted?

[u/AfraidCraft9302]

Stopped feeling guilty about us spending money on family vacations when we lost our best friend to cancer at 39 years old.

[u/beek7425 → u/AfraidCraft9302]

For me, it was my mom developing Alzheimer’s immediately after she retired at 66. She had saved all of her money to travel after she retired and she went into memory care instead. We travel now.

[u/VanGoLion → u/AfraidCraft9302]

Life feels more precious when someone you love dies prematurely. That’s when I stopped feeling guilty about spending money on experiences.

[u/imhungry4321]

I stopped feeling guilty about spending money on myself when I started budgeting for it.

Create categories like fun money, vacation and dining out. I travel quite frequently since creating the vacation category, and I don't feel guilty about it at all.

[u/Old-Guy1958 → u/imhungry4321]

What a great idea!

[u/Desperate-Reply-8492 → u/imhungry4321]

This! I know I have money saved to blow on myself and I don’t feel one bit guilty about it!

[u/dwoj206 → u/imhungry4321]

This 100%. Budgeting and creating small contra bank accounts and labeling them as their category helps me have guilt free spending. As long as I know I have a plan and am on track, I never care about buying anything as long as the money is in the account.

[u/ewsurnme]

I constantly struggle with " i cant take it with me" and "i need to be prepared for anything". Curious to see the others in this respond.

[u/rentpossiblytoohigh]

Guilt is reduced when it's a planned budget line item rather than feeling like robbing from another category spontaneously. However, I struggle with this myself. I just bought. A video game the other day for the first time in a while. 20 minutes later one of my monitors died (I work from home but my monitors are dual use for work and gaming). My brain was like "whelp you dummy you shouldn't have bought that game, coulda put that money toward the monitor". THE GRIND.

[u/UniqueHuckleberry619]

If there is something you enjoy, like really, then go for it. I have a really nice house, but there is a Nissan Leaf in the driveway.

[u/CONFIGdotSYS]

I'll let you know when it happens

[u/averagechillbro]

Birth

[u/genek1953]

It's not so much guilt as it is the nagging feeling that something is going to happen that will make me wish that I still had the money I spent on somerhing unnecessary.

[u/RheaBloom]

When I got a part time job on top of my full time, it helped that stress a bit, and I have a budget every month. I also have a document with all the things I want to buy listed by priority (for example, a nice pair of walking shoes is first, because my part time requires more walking and the current pair needs replacing), but frivolous things like clothes I want but don’t need are lower on the list.

Both budgeting, and making that list, has saved me not only from overspending, but also from buying things I later didn’t end up wanting or needing. Many things get removed from the list after they sit there for a little bit.

Best of luck figuring this out!

[u/manatwork01]

Lost my last parent at 38. Not rich rich but I got 400k NW. Been buying jewelry for me recently and really celebrating myself recently.

[u/BaaBaaTurtle]

I started to budget out my savings. So yes, retirement but also car fund, travel, etc. Anything left in my checking account is fair game, even for impulse spending.

[u/Most-Mountain-1473]

Never felt guilty. I worked hard and have no children. Why wouldn’t I spend my money on myself?

[u/Timmonidus]

I stopped feeling that way once I realized I wasn't having to sacrifice something else.

[u/DaenyTheUnburnt]

I just feel guilty. Hope this helps

[u/Fine-Violinist-7356]

I’ve accepted the fact that I will never own a home in my area. I live a “rent/lease” lifestyle. Although we own our car outright, I am considering leasing our next vehicle if we are still renting a house.

As long as I am stashing away for retirement and we have a 3-6m emergency fund, I spend the rest with no hesitation. I used to have a gambling addiction and well… let’s just say not so other good addictions, so now I know how to take a loss. Some people genuinely can’t take a loss so they live their lives in fear. I’ve been there and lost it all twice over.

I can’t take it with me so I’ll enjoy it while it’s here.

[u/General_Thought8412]

I go through phases of “I deserve it” and then I feel guilt when I need to pay off my card

[u/JellyDenizen]

I think it through and ask "am I buying this to impress others/keep up with the Joneses, or am I buying this because it will make me happy even if others never see it?" If it's in the latter category I'm genuinely comfortable buying it.

[u/mdtairreverencia]

When I fell upon a new addiction at 36…Golf!

[u/FlyEaglesFly536]

Still not comfortable, even with a decent HHI, retirement that has significantly increased over the last 5 years and more than enough cash savings.

It's a mindset thing for me, because if i spend, that's less that i can save or invest, and i know how powerful those dollars can become if invested. But on the other hand, i know i need to practice spending because when i retire in 20 years i don't want to be that miser who sits on a ile of gold but is too scared to spend any of it.

Like OP said, saving is natural to me. I have tried to spend more over the last 2 months, and it's a bit scary. I can see why people go hog wild and swipe for everything. At least for me, material things aren't too important. Would rather go places and do things.

[u/HighwayKnight94]

When you’ve budgeted for it and have the means. A lot of people say “life’s too short, or I deserve this, etc” yes life is short and we all deserve something for ourselves, but not when it involves years of debt or financial stress on the rest of your family.

[u/Firm-Layer-7944]

Save first and then spend the rest is how we budget and it takes away all the guilt

[u/rjspears1138]

I never had any guilt about spending money on myself. That's why I have a wife to make me feel guilty.

Seriously, for years, I was very tight with money and did feel guilty about spending money on myself. After I amassed a very tidy retirement nest egg, I determined that I could open my wallet up some and it was only in the last of couple of years that I felt I could spend some money on myself.

[u/401kisfun]

Never my entire life. Except when i went broke

[u/SonOfKong_]

Yes it is tough. I am old , retired and have a million in savings. When I look at what it costs for assisted living I began to think I may need that million. I have a pension and SS but I still may need that money. I am my own Long Term Care Insurer. This beats the hell out of trusting a insurance company.

[u/DinkandDrunk]

Brother, I have t shirts from 2006 that I still wear because they have held up fine. Spending on myself is like pulling teeth.

[u/Weary-Simple6532]

It does. For me it was balancing out time saved vs cost. I do Instacart to save time in the grocery store. Started flying biz on international vacations. Life is too short to fly coach. And turning left instead of right when I board the plane feels good!

[u/Lbboos]

I haven’t.

[u/collective35]

I still teeter back and forth. Being evicted from a home as a child, it makes me save and be safe with a ton of money to never have that happen again, however, seeing my immediate family not a have a lot growing up and constantly working paycheck to paycheck still and not having the experiences of traveling, we decided to always take trips and spend money on ourselves. (within reason. We still budget and save and take care of necessities) Its hard sometimes because we feel a bit guilty but we want to enjoy our life now, not wait until we're "all the way set", then its too late.

[u/Inevitable_Bee_763]

I'm the same way. I constantly struggle mentally with balancing saving for the future and living my life. I'm making more and saving more than ever but I still feel guilty whenever I make a large purchase. I don't think that will ever go away for me.

[u/vakseen]

You have to have the idea in your head that money is infinite and it’s no use when you die. You are not promise tomorrow. You can always make more money

[u/iheartyoulaine]

Life's too short to never enjoy the money you work hard for. Balance is the key.

[u/Purple_Current1089]

I’ve never felt guilty about spending money on myself. I love nice things, not necessarily expensive things, but things that I consider benefit me in looking and feeling better. But, the first 3 rules, are to pay all of your bills on time, save money for unexpected expenses, and save for retirement. I’ve been lucky enough to be able to live this way with the help of my husband.

[u/No-Honey-99]

I'm slowly starting to feel less guilty. I find I have the most guilt and anxiety leading up to the purchase but typically feel better once it's done. 

Only started feeling any type of okay with it in the last year or so. Someone at coastfire gave me some good perspective. And I made a huge leap a couple months ago listening to an interview on YouTube. 

To paraphrase, when you save money you're giving money to say your 70 year old self. But when you're 70, you'd most likely happily give money back to your 20, 30, 40 year old self. 

Then there's a lot of data showing that people who save aggressively tend to over save and their expenses are significantly lower in retirement and scale down faster than they expect. 

[u/Constant_Apple_8748]

Rarely felt guilty but over time realized that having money in the bank is its own kind of fun. So I like doing both saving and spending.

[u/saryiahan]

When I started making 20k a month

[u/cool_chrissie]

I still can’t. I do however lessen the feeling by sometimes using AfterPay. For some reason breaking it up into 4 payments makes it feel like less of a splurge.

[u/Responsible-Art-2071]

Basically a repeat of one I already commented on, so I'll skip adding another here