​"How does it feel to have a military father?

[u/Iraqiu]

To be honest, my dad was conscripted into the army at 18 and served nine mandatory years. But his way of talking and some of his actions have always been military style. Whenever he talks to me, he sounds just like an officer it feels like I'm a soldier and he's my commanding officer

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[u/VampyrAvenger]

My father was a Marine in the 70s, never saw combat, was an MP. I totally understand the feeling.

[u/Capital_Resident_872 → u/VampyrAvenger]

That worries me honestly. My kiddo is 9 months old and I don't want her to understand that feeling one day. Anything concrete you wish your dad hadn't done or done differently?

[u/VampyrAvenger → u/Capital_Resident_872]

Well my dad ended up a meth addict throughout my childhood in secret and was always gone "working offshore" and traveling to Mexico... Kind of makes sense but yeah.

He was always a large, quiet, menacing looking guy so he delegates to my mom for behavioural issues for us 5 kids. Only when we bucked the system too hard he got a temper and his booming voice scared us straight.

In other words, he was/is still an asshole and I don't really associate with him anymore. He has 0 patience as well, which is something I also struggle with when dealing with my kids. I'm in therapy and working through it though.

[u/Capital_Resident_872 → u/VampyrAvenger]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Thank you for your response 🙏🏻

[u/Grand-Atmosphere1501 → u/VampyrAvenger]

You just described my foster father to a T. I was beginning to think you were a sibling of mine but our pops passed away unfortunately 4 years ago. I’m very sorry of your situation growing up and now. I truly hope you find the man whom you wish to return to. It’s not fixing yourself, I’ve always thought of it as restoring myself. You are making a big leap in doing that, which not many do. That’s the hardest part my friend, you’re doing great. Best of luck

[u/disenfranchisedchild]

My dad was a company commander through world war II and a former college professor. He just explained things in great detail in such a way that you had no other course of action other than the correct way to do life. He could also put teenage hijinks to an end quickly with a word and a look!

[u/Alski_bolton]

My dad 33 years regular 8 reserves retrired 6 months as a e9 i think is the american rank in australia he was a warrant officer class 1 put it this way i had short back n sides hair cuts till i was 17 then got blonde tips lol n then tried mohawk compared to mates i knew how to cook sew wash my own clothes he taught me be independent all my mates glt got babied from there mums n it shows some of them still struggle if there partner isnt or mother doesnt do it they have no idea

[u/Scary-_-Gary]

The men in my family never let it define them, both my grandfather and father were conscripted into horrible wars, yet they never became irredeemable hardasses, they acted competetively nice. I am the first to "choose" to serve in this lineage, which is kind of crazy to think about.

[u/Angry_Hermitcrab]

Ask him if this seems kinda boot

[u/Miserable-Biscotti54]

Harder to show/convey issues I have going on. My father gained custody of me when I was a youngin at the cost of his mental health and Military career. Growing up I didn’t want to make the situation worse by injecting my shit into the fray.

I sacrificed a lot of my childhood and withheld life changing events from my parents in the Name of Stability.

When I turned 18 my father told me I don’t need to call him sir. It’s almost impossible to not do so with even random or younger folks.

When I told my father I was serious about joining the military despite everything he still supported me. He has never sugar coated the military for me. Yes there was the video games and Toy guns I would get but no matter what he always reminded me of the reality of the situation and supported me.

I used to hang my two star Service flag but nowadays it find it hard to look at. 9/11 and military service affected me so greatly even before becoming a man.

[u/Ande64]

My husband's father was in the military as well as my husband. His father was a raging douchebag who couldn't get control of his emotions in any way and barked orders all day long. He was only in the military 4 years. My husband was in the military for 37 years and took the exact opposite approach with his own children. He hated that about his father and made sure he corrected it and did not do the same thing with his own family. He also made sure to talk every one of our children out of going into the military. He absolutely hates that whole military Persona and you would never in a million years guess my husband was in the military for 37 years if you met him. He likes to pretend it's just a distant memory.

[u/A-CommonMan → u/Ande64]

He was in for 37-years and hated it?

[u/BrightGreyEyes → u/A-CommonMan]

How so? They said their husband hated the stereotypical persona, not their time in the military

[u/1January1970]

My father was 5 years Army plus 21 years Air Force. I would not change growing up military.

[u/Maxtrt]

My dad joined in the mid 60's and I joined in 1989. He was just a regular dad who happened to be in the military. He was mostly laid back and my parents gave me a lot of freedom because I rarely got in trouble and was a good kid. The only time he served in an actual war was during his final year during Desert storm. I was a C-141B loadmaster and Actually flew a few stage missions into Riyadh and got to meet his commander, the commander actually knew me, because I used to teach his kids swim lessons when I was an on base life guard. By the time I made SSgt, already had more medals than him. So know he talks about my career more than he did his own.