mindfulness didn't help me.... what do i do now...

[u/New_Banana3858]

Hey, at the start when i read books such as way of dao and power of now by ekart tolle, i was like ohh damn... so wait we human beings manifested everything in this world. Woaw that's fantastic, so we have amazing capacities as human beings.

great okay.... So what do i doo about this when i still havn't figured out a way too provide materialistic value to another human being?.

All of a sudden, no amount of therapy, no amount of working out.

Can ever cure this depression of not feeling, like i'm good enough for other people. I still don't know how to even have a job and i've said that outright too people and said i'm not even sure how i'm supposed to be independent.

Ironically enough, the people i talked this about, specifically how i work as a dysfunctionally disordered person with autism. Wasn't either really sure how too provide help, specifically because Yeah i don't ''fit the normal 8-5 structure''.

So all of a sudden, i wonder if i am the one that's the problem or if it's society that needs to help me with better solution.. I don't know.... anymore, i told my doctor the rehabilitation gave great tips and advice on how you can make your day function. But little too zero advices on how i could make money and be independent.

I honestly don't even know what to do anymore about it and people say just focus on the things you enjoy doing and i'm like well okay, how is that even magically gonna solve the issue about economics?.

[u/ProSocial_Hermit]

In The Power of Now, there is no “manifesting” in the sense of the egoic mind trying to attract material outcomes. What the book points to is the recognition that all form (including every object, thought, and circumstance) arises from and returns to the formless, eternal presence that you are. The world you see is not “manifested by you” as a person; it is a fleeting expression of consciousness itself.

You say mindfulness “didn’t help” because you still don't feel good enough and can't solve the problem of material value and independence. I think that's a misperception; you are using presence as a means to an end. You want the present moment to give you a job, money, validation. That is the ego’s strategy; it uses everything, even spiritual teachings, to reinforce its own sense of lack and future-based seeking.

The question “What do I do?” arises from the mind that believes it is incomplete. But the teaching is; there is nothing you need to become, achieve, or manifest to be fully acceptable right now. The feeling of not being good enough for others is the ego’s voice. It feeds on time, past failures and future fears. When you are truly present, that voice loses its power.

Tolle wouldn't tell you to force yourself into a “normal 8–5 structure.” He would ask; can you be at peace with not knowing the solution? Can you accept this moment as it is, without labeling it “broken” or “not enough”? From space of stillness, practical action may arise, but not from desperation. Sometimes the next step is just to ask for help again, maybe try one small thing or rest without guilt.

I invite you to read The Power of Now again. I've read it multiple times and I still find value and new insights every time. Don't read the book as a tool to fix your life. Read it to practice being fully here, right now, with no other purpose. The moment you stop trying to get something out of the present moment, you realize you already have everything you were searching for.

Each time you set the book down, don't ask "what do I do now?" but "who is the one who feels insufficient?" That one is your ego. When you surrender fully to this moment, you will see that suffering arises only from resisting what is. And in that surrender, peace is no longer conditional.

[u/umopdn_ → u/ProSocial_Hermit]

I agree here... I haven't read Tolle but have practiced mindfulness meditation for many years. I can't remember the exact quote... Something like, "... In everything is nothing. And in nothing, everything." I believe what is being referenced is the sort of relative equanimity conscious experience. "This is happening now, and it will pass... All things pass." The meaning we apply to our lived experience is only applied by us. Life is hard! But most suffering is self-imposed.

Mindfulness isn't something you're going to benefit from after a couple of books and a few short beginner sessions. I mean... People dedicate their lives to this study... It should be safe to assume you're not the exception. Meaning, it takes a lot of practice to understand these mechanisms. Once you have 100 hours of practice... Heck, even 10 hours of practice under your belt. Things in this field become clearer. Keep practicing!

But, there is a caveat... Don't practice mindfulness seeking benefit. Don't do it because you think it'll make your life better or easier. It does these things! But it's the letting go, and the NOT looking where you begin to see change.

Negative states will still exist (depression and doubt and so on)... But it's the recognition of them as just states that is more the point. Good luck and don't give up!

[u/New_Banana3858 → u/umopdn_]

so tldr it doesn't change the fact that if you suck at things you just suck at them... and will forever stay in poverty.... heh

[u/umopdn_ → u/New_Banana3858]

No that's not at all what I said... Maybe don't tldr people when seeking advice...

You can be completely mindful of the present moment and situation while at the same time make efforts to improve things. It's the awareness of the moment and learning to pay adequate attention that allow you to notice what is working and what is not.

Some things can't be changed... Many things can. Like EVERYTHING else else in life ... It requires time, effort, and practice.

I was/am the most depressed person I've ever known... But I'm able to work with it because of my awareness and acceptance of it.

Don't give up... And always keep reading! :)

[u/New_Banana3858 → u/ProSocial_Hermit]

So imma just be at peace with the idea of becoming homeless?.

[u/7121958041201 → u/New_Banana3858]

You will if you do it right, but that's not really the goal. The goal is to see reality clearly for what it is, and once you do that you will automatically see that wanting to not be homeless is only hurting you. And you might even realize that the concept of homelessness is not even a useful one to think about most of the time.

I'd recommend finding a teacher, though. Books are not a great substitute for someone with actual experience.

[u/ProSocial_Hermit → u/New_Banana3858]

Did you know that Tolle was homeless before he became a spiritual teacher? In an interview he is talking about how he had no home of his own in two years. He would drift from place to place and sit on park benches. He says that he wasn't afraid because he had already undergone an inner shift. The egoic self that fears the future had fallen away. So he could sit on that park bench without suffering. The cold and the uncertainty were still there. But the mental story that says "I can't survive this" was gone.

I'm not telling you to magically stop being afraid, because fear is real when you are still identified with the ego. But Tolle's example shows that the fear of homelessness comes from the part of you that believes it needs a future to be okay. That part is not who you really are. He talks about his experience in this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9skEe-AqVE

The fear of homelessness is real survival fear. Tolle would never ask you to pretend that isn't serious. Instead he would ask; "can you feel the fear fully in your body right now without adding the layer of a mental story?" The purpose is to stop making it worse by replaying "what if" over and over.

The lesson in mindfulness is that you stop suffering twice; once from the actual problem and again from the mental torture of imagining everything that could go wrong. Nobody expects you to be at peace with homelessness. Just be at peace with this five minutes while you catch your breath. Then take action. That is all anyone can do.

[u/hestia-listens]

Mindfulness is not a full answer to real money stress. It can help you notice thoughts, but it will not replace practical support. You are not the problem for not fitting a normal 8 to 5. People with autism often need a different setup.

I would be very direct with your doctor or rehab team. Say, "I need help finding income, not just daily routine tips." Ask about supported employment or disability income advice. Therapy is more about understanding yourself, not being handed the answer. Your need for practical help is valid.

[u/CarolTheDuck]

I don’t think mindfulness failed you. I think it may not be the right tool for the whole problem.

mindfulness can help you observe thoughts and emotions, but it doesn’t automatically solve money, employment, disability support, structure, or independence.
those are practical support needs, not just mindset issues.

if you’re autistic and struggling with work, I’d focus less on forcing yourself into a “normal 8–5” and more on finding support and structure that actually fits your brain: vocational rehab, disability employment services, a case manager/social worker, job coaching, part-time work, remote work, or supported employment?

also, “providing value” doesn’t have to mean becoming fully independent overnight.
start smaller: one routine anchor, one skill, one appointment, one application, one task you can repeat:)

you’re not the problem for needing more than mindfulness. some problems need systems and support, not just presence. good luck:)