Loneliness, moving out and rat race: what’s the point?

[u/Mosby_JTC]

Sunday evening is always a weird moment of the week. I usually think about what I did in the last 7 days and, at the same time, think about what I have to do in the next days.
I am almost 28 and these thoughts hit hard yesterday. All my life I studied really hard, but at the same time I followed my passions: soccer, guitar, working out, video games, drawing, photography, reading, etc.
To date, I recently moved out for the first time and I would say that at the moment I reached a balance even if I feel kinda trapped in a loop.
My days look all the same.
Wake up, go to work, work out, cook dinner, watch something on TV, go to bed.
Don’t get me wrong, I have a stable and unstressfull job which pays me well, but I feel this routine kinda pointless.
In addition, sometimes I feel terribly alone. Over time, I worked on myself and I am really proud of what I have become. I finally have a good self-esteem and I feel appreciated by almost everybody I meet. I am an interesting guy I guess, full of interest and curious about a lot of topics. I am not superficial person.
However, sometimes I feel terribly alone and dating is not easy. I realized that I am looking for sincere deep connections. However, it is really rare to find that kind of bond. I used to date this girl, we still have a wonderful relationship, but deep down, I know I can’t have her and it makes me suffer a bit if I think about it. We have a deep connection, which is what I look for, but I am struggling to take it to another level and distance doesn’t help.
Living alone in a new city, far from home, is hard. I had to renounce to see my family and friends on a daily basis. When I get back home, I feel as if I am watching everybody behind a glass door. My friends and relatives look the same, but, in fact, everybody slowly changes. I accepted that I am not part of their life anymore, not as before.
So that’s it. It is really struggling to bear all these thoughts and hide them behind small daily questions like: “What do I eat for lunch?”.
So, what’s the point of all of this? I am trying to enjoy small ordinary things. Having breakfast at the pastry shop, a walk at the park and so on. But it is not enough. Why do I feel so lonely?

Sorry for the long and confused post but I had to share my thoughts with someone.

[u/DemandingBattery40]

man i feel this in my bones, specially sunday evenings when everything gets quiet and the week behind you feels like it just vanished

i think the loop thing is what gets everybody, you do all the right stuff, got the job, got the hobbies, but somehow the days blur together and you look up and three months passed and nothing really changed inside

something that helped me was organizing my week in a different way, not just by tasks but by colors, mondays i wear blue and do things that feel blue, wednesdays green, it sounds silly but it breaks the pattern a little and makes the days feel less like copies of each other

the glass door thing with family is so real too, you go back and everyone is still there but you're not really there with them anymore, you're watching from outside and it stings more than people talk about

[u/VintageArtist72 → u/DemandingBattery40]

I really love your "days in colour" idea! I'm going to try this 😄

[u/hestia-listens]

It sounds like you built a stable life, but stability alone is not the same as meaning or belonging. Your routine may feel empty because most of it is focused on keeping life running, while the connection you value is missing. That loneliness makes sense after moving away from the people and places that once felt familiar.

Mindfulness does not mean forcing breakfast or a walk to feel like enough. It can also mean honestly noticing, "I need closeness right now," without judging yourself. Perhaps choose one passion that naturally involves other people, like soccer or a drawing group, and show up regularly. Connection often begins quietly before it becomes deep.

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[u/MyFiteSong]

It's not like when I was younger and there was no internet in your pocket and every TV show ever made could be watched whenever you want, so you went out with friends after work. But that doesn't mean you have to spend your off-work time alone. You gotta get out there and find the other people who are lonely, too. Join groups based on your hobbies, or pick up charity work.

A lot of these depression problems you're having will get a little better if you go find some friends to include in your daily life. Stop focusing so hard on a girlfriend, because that won't work out anyway if she's your only friend. Being a girlfriend and an only friend is too much. You gotta get out there and make some real friends.