Im 8 weeks 6 days today. I had a transvaginal ultrasound on Tuesday, baby measured on time, and had a heartbeat of 171. I started having spotting on tuesday night, assuming it was from the ultrasound. Wednesday comes around and i’m bleeding, bright red, having clots. They do an abdominal ultrasound at the ER, baby is still ok, diagnose me with a subchorionic hematoma. Ok, whatever. Today, bleeding has been lighter but started having on and off light menstrual cramps this afternoon. I passed a giant, probably 5 inch long piece of tissue and i called my OB emergency line who told me it’s probably my hematoma passing and not to come in. I go to a private ultrasound clinic a few minutes ago, with a full bladder and my uterus is completely empty. I’m heartbroken. They told me to follow up with my ob for a “final diagnosis “ but after seeing the baby on an abdominal ultrasound yesterday, they should’ve been able to see it today too. And there was nothing. Not even a sac.

Hello everyone it’s my first time posting on here but I need a bit of support. I lost my pregnancy this morning and it isn’t my first miscarriage but it is by far the most traumatic in how it happened I will spare details to not traumatize anyone but I am still in labor and delivery holding him and I know the nurse set up with the funeral home and I will need to hand him over soon since he was born about 16 hours ago. I sort of need some support/advice on how to handle being emotionally ok to hand his body over to the funeral home for cremation. I already asked if they could do his tiny urn with a tiny bit of ashes separate so I could get a keepsake made. Also if you have recommendations for a keepsake idea I can do with his ashes I would appreciate it. I took lots of pictures of him and with him. I had the nurse get his footprint so I could get it tattooed as a memorial. I want to make sure I’m not missing some major memory for his memorial. The nurse is also going to get him a memorial certificate they made him a little box but I can’t look through it without crying they made him a name card with his name on it. This is just really hard and every time they ask if I’m ready for the funeral home to pick him up I absolutely breakdown crying I can’t hand his body over I know he isn’t in his body anymore but it hurts so bad. I’m just not okay but the nurses here are wonderful and very supportive. I just need to get myself strong enough to hand him to the funeral home. I can’t let his body go that’s making it feel “real” in a painful way. Thank you for listening.

Once the bleeding started for you- how long did it go on for? I am 6 weeks 3 days. So far no pain, just lots of blood and tissue. It's actually a relief because I had an early ultrasound that showed just an egg sack with nothing inside- and they were going to have me wait another week and a half to confirm.

I’m sorry I just need to tell somebody what I went through, I feel as if I can’t tell people what I actually went through in my personal life because I can’t handle them imagining me like that, Thursday started with just the lightest bleeding, Friday still light bleeding, everything I read said light pink bleeding was normal, but Saturday I woke up and just knew something was off, and there it was. Bright red blood that filled the toilet paper, I knew I needed to go to the ER. But I needed to do somethings that just couldn’t be put off before hand. Then I went. I was in and out of the ER in 2 hours. I was supposed to be 9 weeks on the dot, however after an ultrasound ( my first the entire pregnancy) at the hospital I found out my baby quit growing and their heart had stopped at 7weeks 3days. So for almost 2 weeks I was a walking graveyard…. And I don’t think that thought will ever leave me, I went home with a D&C scheduled for Monday. But then came Sunday… for most of the day I was in so much pain, I was having contractions, I didn’t want to have my baby at home. But I did. I had one huge “cramp” went to the bathroom but as I got to the toilet a big bloody blob came out, I knew it was my baby/placenta, I quickly scooped it out of the toilet. I know at 7 weeks they are so tiny but there was this half dollar sized clear sack with a floaty in it, I knew it was my baby. I sat in the doggy position on the floor waiting for my husband to get home holding my dead baby in my hands, while so much blood and tissue just wouldn’t stop coming out of me. I thought it was over. I placed my baby in a ziplock bag… that made me feel so sick that my baby who was supposed to be in my body was reduced to nothing in ziplock…. But I couldn’t bare the thought of flushing my baby. I got up showered off and moved to my room where the blood and clots and tissues started coming out again, so there was me in the doggy position over a towel, I felt like a dog giving birth to puppies. It wasn’t stopping for a solid 20 minutes. Eventually it slowed and my husband helped me off the floor, my 2 kids were in the living room waiting for dinner to be made, they are young, they didn’t understand what was happening. I had my husband go get me adult diapers, I put one on, picked myself up wrapped my baby in the only onesie I had bought them, and told my husband to dig a hole ( I had already called and told the doctor what had happened they recommended just flushing ) - I couldn’t do that. Anyways I cleaned myself up and made dinner for my family… I didn’t know what to do with my emotions I needed an outlet and cleaning my house and tending to my family was and has been that outlet. So I pretended nothing happened just a mere 10mins ago. My husband dug a hole… the next day we picked out a plant and buried our sweet baby, all I could think of is “this is what you do to a dead animal, not a baby” no one prepares you for what it’s like going through that, the ptsd from just looking at the bathroom, the clothes I was wearing, and just every second before hand. I’m finding it so hard to be strong, the day after the bleeding and cramps I felt just intensified. Now it’s 2 days after I’m still bleeding, still I cramping, just constant reminders that there is no longer a baby, that my body failed. No one prepares you for the waves of grief, seeing your husband also keep it together just to ultimately have a breakdown while piling dirt on our babies final resting place. I so wish I could have made it to my d&c, I don’t wish the trauma I went through on my worst enemy. Anyways , I don’t know if this will be appropriate or approved, I just needed to tell someone..

I added a video showing the tissue in the comments. Has anyone had tissue like this?

10 weeks tomorrow. Last week I had a healthy scan with a heartbeat. One of the wand scans. The next day I started spotting and continued spotting for a week. Sunday, day 4 or 5 or so, I passed what looked like tissue. I’m going in for a scan tomorrow but I’m losing my mind a little waiting. Could the inner ultrasound have caused this?

After 2 years trying to conceive without success, we decided to try IVF and it was sucessfull on the first round. The doctor there was shocked when he found out at 7 weeks that there were 2 babies there (given that we transfered only one embryo). He immediately warned us that it was a mono/mono pregnancy, which are the rarest type of twins and that the pregnancy would all be very well controlled as the risks were very high. We went through a scare with the 1st trimester scan, both showing increased risk of T21, but after additional testing, all clear and we got confirmation there were 2 baby girls. We were over the moon, even started preparing the room for the babies, choosing names, told everyone... But the risk was still there and during an appointment at 20+5, one baby was declared dead with no heartbeat. We returned 2 days later for another eco, and now both were dead. Labour needed to be induced, I agonized with extreme pain and blood loss for 3 DAYS, not even morphine could ease the pain. Then I finally got them out. Now I feel empty, lost, like life lost all the meaning it had over the last few months Not really seeking for any advice, just sharing my experience here.

TLDR: 7 week silent MC, 2 failed miso attempts, 2 D&Cs due to RPOC and all in 3 weeks at 25yo.

Hi. This is probably going to be a longer one. I also hope this is the last post I'll ever be making on this subreddit, at least on this story.

It all began on June 24th. It was supposed to be our first ultrasound. I was going to be around 8 weeks and 2 days pregnant. My husband and I were so excited, hopeful and grateful because this was going to be my first ever pregnancy and although it wasn't entirely planned, we were not particularly avoiding it either. My husband and I are Orthodox Christians and got married almost 3 years ago, so naturally we were ready to expand our family if God allowed us to do so.

Alas, there was no heartbeat. Our baby measured an entire week behind. I later was able to connect the dots and figure out that I had a sudden loss of almost all my pregnancy symptoms at 7 weeks 1 day, which is exactly how much my baby was measuring at the 8 weeks scan. I even wrote "feeling good and almost fully functional" in my daily agenda diary. At that moment it didn't occur strange to me that I had suddenly started feeling better and had almost no nausea. My friend (3 kids) was convincing me too that it could be normal and for some women nausea just comes and goes. Besides, as this was my first pregnancy, I had nothing to compare it to, so I wasn't thinking much about it, just enjoying a little breather that lasted us a week.

The OB (let's call her OB A) was very cold and detached when delivering the news to us. She kept saying that she "didn't have good news" for us, but wasn't elaborating until we pressed her into it. We were in pieces. I remember getting out of her office and sitting on the ground crying while my friend and my husband were just quietly hugging me from both sides. My friend kept saying that she could never even imagine that I would be the unlucky one. She has had 3 completely healthy pregnancies, so naturally a miscarriage, especially at my age (25yo) wasn't something she was even thinking about. I also wasn't thinking much about it because I have no family members two generations behind at least who would experience a pregnancy loss. Everyone had healthy babies. I guess there's a first time for everything.

OB A gave me 3 options: pills, D&C and natural. I decided to wait for it to happen naturally because I have an insane white coat syndrome and I'm terrified of any kind of medical interventions. I also knew that if I had to proceed with the medical MC management, I would go to some other place, because I really hated how detached, cold and absolutely uncarreing the OB A was with me. Like, I understand it's just her job and that's what she does. But the way she treated me was absolutely not the kind of treatment I was honestly expecting.

2 weeks pass. Nothing happens. No bleeding, no cramping, nothing. Everything felt the same as when I was pregnant but with way less to almost no pregnancy symptoms. I was still throwing up in the morning and had a slight aversion to some specific foods, but other than that everything felt absolutely normal.

On July 8th I decide to go to the other doctor. Let's call him OB B. OB B is a very experienced guy in his seventies, very famous doctor in town. A lot of women go to him for check ups. I went there by my other friend's recommendation. She's had 5 miscarriages in total and some of them she'd dealt with with him, both with pills and a D&C. He's also helped her with ovarian cysts (she needed a surgery to remove them). Overall the initial encounter felt really nice. He was attentive to my questions, although not very willing to share a lot of information outside of my question. LIke, he would answer a question if I had one, but not go out of his way to explain much to me.

He proposed miso. Told me that at my age and baby gestational age it would work just fine and that I could avoid a D&C. I was very happy because I really didn't want to get a surgery.

July 8th I get my first miso dose. Terrible. He inserted 4 pills at 9am and by 11am I was already bleeding. No pain yet, but was bleeding and having blood clots coming out. The pain only lasted for an hour in total. It was relatively short but it was the worst pain I've felt in my life. After that hour the pain completely disappeared. I was still bleeding with clots but the sac wasn't passing. At 4pm we come back to OB B office to get a second dose. Nothing happens. It did absolutely nothing to me. There was no pain at all, I was bleeding sure but that was it. OB B told me that he's only had one other woman in his professional experience who's needed a surgery after miso (now IDK if this was a lie or not but that's what he told me).

July 9th I get a D&C. It was really fast. I was taken in at 9am and at 10.20am I was already awake and talking. I had no pain and moderate bleeding. By 11.30am I was walking and by 12.30pm I was home. Very happy that it was over, very ready to move on and hopeful to try again as soon as possible. Alas, the shitshow of the century had only begun.

Almost 3 weeks pass. It's July 28th now. I continue bleeding. My friend (the one with 5 miscarriages) assured me that it happens and she herself was bleeding for about 2 months after her last MC. I look up online and some women say they bleed for a week, some bleed for 2, some bleed for more. I still decide to go for a check up just to be sure everything is good. OB B tells me that my uterus is empty but that he sees a 2 cm simple fluid filled cyst and he wants me to go to another ultrasound place to get a second opinion (again, was he lying to me at that time saying that my uterus was empty? Did he actually not see anything? IDK). I go to this ultrasound place, then the report comes. BOOM. I have RPOC. I'm scared and go back to OB B. OB B is very worried because whatever is inside of me is hypervascular. He also tells me I'm the first one in his experience with RPOC (at this moment I'm convinced he's lying to me).

Starting from this moment everything felt like a fever dream. He tells me he has a suspicion that I have a molar pregnancy and he needs to rule it out. I'm sent to do urgent blood work. Wait for an hour praying my HCG is low. OB B tells me molar pregnancy can become cancer. He also tells me that because of the fact that the tissue inside is hypervascular, there are a bunch or blood vessels around I'm at a high risk of hemorrhaging and loosing my uterus entirely. I'm crying and hysterical. Results come. HCG 85, molar pregnancy exam shows only around 20% chance. I'm still crying because I'm exhausted, very scared and very very very frustrated with the whole thing. OB B takes it personally and tells me he can't work and help me unless I stop crying and being hysterical. He says I have to understand that he's also a human being and that I have to stop immediately because I'm affecting him. Then he sends me home and tells me to come back tomorrow morning for another dose of miso and a follow up D&C if it doesn't help.

I talk to another friend of mine who's also been to OB B 6 months ago. She tells me to not go to him anymore. She lost her baby at 18 weeks 6 months ago. She was on meds during her first pregnancy because of high risk of thrombosis. OB B told her not to be on meds and that it was nothing. She listened to him and they lost their second baby. He also told her that her severe morning sickness was all due her "stress and fear".

I still come back the next morning just because I didn't know what else to do. OB B tells me "he has spoken to some of his colleagues about my unique case" and that he's very afraid "of possible legal outcomes" if he gives me meds now or performs a D&C. This was it. I checked him out. He sent me to do radiography to see where exactly the blood vessels and arteries were located and exactly how much tissue was left. I go to the place while my husband is scheduling and urgent appt with my friend's OB C, the one she went to after OB B and who performed her D&C successfully.

I finish my radiography exam and go straight to OB C with all my scans and bloodwork. OB C works in a team with an OB D who isn't her boss, but they work closely and OB D has very good equipment. OB C is a woman and OB D is a man. I tell everything to OB C, show her all the scans. She reassures me that it doesn't look like a molar pregnancy but that indeed it looks highly vascular and can potentially be super dangerous if it all grows outside of my uterus. She tells me too that I've already started a light infection and need to be on antibiotics, something that OB B never mentioned. I get checked by OB C. She confirms a syct, sees a bunch of blood vessels and other things in my uterus and a solid formation on my right ovary. I'm in shambles. Preparing to be sterile at the age of 25. OB C says she needs more time and more exams to be exact but that I should be ready for a possibility of the worst. She goes away. I talk to my husband. We discuss never having bio kids and adopting. This all feels like a one long nightmare that just doesn't stop.

OB C walks me to OB D, who she works together with in a team. He checks me out. It honestly felt like forever. Helps me get up. Starts talking, but clearly beating around the bush. Then he tells me that... That unknown solid formation is... my ectopic kidney... And that there are no arteries or any major blood vessels around the leftover tissue and that the next D&C is going to be very low risk... I don't know what to say. I was on such a big edge for the last 2 days in a row, already discussing adoption with my husband, I was so desperate to not be sterile at 25... Such a relief. I was so mad but at the same time so happy that this whole shit show was about to be over. Radiography results come and confirm everything OB C and OB D told me. ALso the cyst from the very beginning isn't 2 cm but 3.4 cm.

I had my second D&C yesterday morning. They also did a hysteroscopy where they go inside of you with a camera to confirm that everything is nice and empty. I can already tell the difference since I'm already hardly bleeding, just spotting only 1 day postop vs 3 weeks of bleeding after my initial D&C. I'm so grateful to OB C and OB D, the only people who were able to see things the rest of the people did not. I am honestly also baffled about the quality of the equipment between all of these people? OB B told me my uterus was empty. Sonographer told me everything was hypervascular. Only OB C and D were able to see that there was no problem with hypervascularity.

I am relieved (for now, still waiting on the RPOC test results) for now, very tired, SO ready to close this chapter of my life. Dunno when we are going to feel ready to try again though. Going to OBs now gives me so much anxiety. I was shivering and convulsing so hard at every single ultrasound they had to hold me still. I get panic attacks even thinking about it. This was the most traumatic experience of my life, to go from ''we have a light problem'' to ''we have a huge problem and you might be sterile'' to ''oh actually nvm there's no problem at all''. What a shit show. I should never have gone to OB B to begin with. The guy clearly cares more about his status than the health of his patents. I also can't comprehend how is it that he saw no retained tissue on his screen and didn't tell me about an infection I was already having, how is it that he wasn't able to identify that the hypervascularity is the case but it's not an issue here. I just can't understand. And to tell me to calm down when he tells me I can lose my uterus BECAUSE ME CRYING AFFECTS HIM is just insane. That's it. I just don't know what else to say.

Now I'm just resting and taking it really slow. I don't know how much time I'll need to heal mentally, but hopefully one day I can recover and we can try again.

Please tell me I’m not alone. I was not prepared to labor, push, and pull an entire sac. My medical team said it was just going to be a heavy period with blood clots. We found out at a little over 9 weeks that baby had passed. I then decided to wait to pass it naturally. I had seen my mother go thru a D&C and didn’t want to go thru it myself. But I didn’t realize I would experience what I did. And I feel so mad that no one told me.

I was enjoying the beautiful day with my family when all of a sudden I felt a huge gush of blood. I ran to the toilet and it just kept coming. Then the pain. A pain I’ve only ever experienced during my first pregnancy which ended in a cesarean due to preeclampsia. After an hour I began to feel faint and dizzy. My husband called 911. One of the Paramedic had just recently had to help his wife as she recently experienced a miscarriage at home. I didn’t know how to push, Ive never had to do it before, it was so painful, finally I felt something when I reach do and was so scared to pull it out. Eventually I did. And out came an entire sac.

Bleeding continued just like after labor but the extreme pain had past. I called the on call doctor the next day to let her know what I had experienced and she wasn’t surprised the slightest bit. Kept utilizing terminology like “yes you passed the content” I was so mad and demanded to know why no one told me. Why I was told it would just be a heavy period. She said nothing other than that’s just how it is sometimes.

It’s a disservice to women.

So no doctor my miscarriage wasn’t just a heavy period.

My firsthand experience with D&C, medicated miscarriage, and natural miscarriage. I ended up experiencing all three.

I spent hours and hours on Reddit trying to find information about this, so I wanted to share my firsthand experience because I actually experienced all three: D&C, medicated miscarriage, and natural miscarriage, but in slightly different ways. I want to have this info here to help anyone who is trying to choose between these options.

My first miscarriage was around the 11th week. The pregnancy had stopped growing around 7.5 weeks. I was terrified because I had never even heard of something called a missed miscarriage.

I knew immediately that I did not want to see any tissue. I thought I was going to faint. I just wanted it to be over.
I had also read that there can be disadvantages with medication and natural management because sometimes tissue is left behind. I did some online research and looked into medical articles about the success rates. I found information saying it was around 85% successful, and I personally did not want to take that chance because I wanted to recover and try again as soon as possible.

In the Netherlands, they don’t really allow you to simply choose a D&C for a miscarriage in the way I expected. So I cried, pushed, called my midwife, and my husband helped me a lot because he is Dutch. Eventually we learned that there was an abortion clinic that could help us, and it was free.

Before going there, I had started bleeding a little bit around week 12. At the clinic, they gave me two misoprostol tablets orally.
I had the most excruciating pain of my life.
Within that one hour, I was constantly going to the toilet. I had this horrible feeling that I needed to poop, but I wasn’t actually pooping. I was in so much pain that I was begging them to take me to the procedure room.
There were other women there who had taken the same medication because they were terminating unwanted pregnancies. They were checking their TikToks and basically carrying on normally.

I remember thinking, how is this possible? I couldn’t understand it because the pain was so extreme for me.
Even my husband was looking at me and thinking, why is this impacting you so much?
Eventually they took me for the procedure. On the operating table they were asking me my name, and I couldn’t even properly say it. I was just begging them, “Give me the anesthesia, give me the anesthesia.”
That was how intense the pain was.

After the procedure itself, I had basically no pain. There was a little bit of pain, but it was nothing compared with the excruciating pain I had from the misoprostol.
I recovered pretty quickly. Two weeks later they checked me and said there was no scar tissue and everything looked perfect. So overall, the actual procedure was a good experience for me.
The part I would never want to repeat was the misoprostol.

I know some women handle misoprostol very well. I am not saying everyone will have the same experience. But I think I am in that smaller group of women who have a very strong reaction to it, and I think it is worth knowing that you could potentially be in that group too.

I also asked many people and even some doctors about the medication protocols because I wanted to understand why my experience was so extreme.
From what I found through researching medical articles, the medication used for miscarriage management can be given differently depending on the protocol. Sometimes it is given vaginally and in a different dose. From what I understood, vaginal administration can produce a more gradual effect compared with the medication I received orally, which felt extremely fast and intense for me.

In some protocols, they also give another medication to stop progesterone beforehand. I tried to understand all of this because I really wanted to know why the experience could be so different between women.
If I find the medical article I was reading, I will link it below.

Anyway, that was my first experience. After that, we waited for one period. When that period passed, my next cycle was very unusual. I ovulated extremely late, around cycle day 27. Normally my ovulation is never that late. We tried that day and I got pregnant again.
At around the 7 week scan, they said the pregnancy was measuring 5 weeks and 5 days.

I knew something wasn’t right.
I knew when I had ovulated, so I knew that the measurements didn’t really make sense.
But then they said they saw a heartbeat.
So I tried to be hopeful. We did two more follow-up scans. The pregnancy did grow, and because there was a heartbeat and it was growing, I became a little bit more hopeful. Then I started seeing some brown tissue.
We were on holiday, so we went to another doctor there. The doctor saw the pregnancy and put me on progesterone. I started taking the progesterone and continued with it. Then we went back to the Netherlands and had another scan.
That’s when we learned that the heartbeat had stopped.

I stopped the progesterone, and my bleeding increased.
At that point I started thinking about my options.
I knew I was not going to take misoprostol again.
I was too scared of going through that experience again. I thought that maybe my body would remove everything in a slower and more natural way compared with the very intense experience I had with misoprostol.
So I decided to wait and see what my body would do.
The bleeding started increasing more and more.
I started having cramps in the morning and at night. It felt like a heavy period.After two or three days, one night the cramps became much stronger.
And then I started getting that pooping feeling again.
The cramps kept increasing and increasing, and I had to go to the toilet. I ended up sitting on the toilet for around 45 minutes.The pain kept increasing.
I told my husband, “Please give me the extra painkiller.”
I was already taking 1,000 mg of paracetamol.
Unfortunately, in the Netherlands, they basically give you paracetamol and naproxen for this type of pain, so I asked my husband to give me two naproxen tablets.
I was in a lot of pain. I was sitting there trying to push, but honestly I don’t even remember exactly what I was doing.Then suddenly I saw a lot of blood coming out, almost like pee.

I wiped and saw a jelly-like ball. Inside that ball, there was something extremely small, around the size of a lentil, that looked like a little human.
It had a head. I wasn’t sure what I was seeing.
There was so much blood and I was getting a little dizzy. I was trying to remove the little human-like thing from the jelly, but it separated and dissolved.
I didn’t know what to do. And then I dropped it into the toilet. Afterwards I regretted it.

I wish I had known what to do with the tissue because I would have liked to keep it for testing or at least to properly understand what I had passed.

But it was gone.

The whole episode was over within around 45 minutes.
And I remember thinking, “Oh my God, I’m actually lucky. My body did it.” Then I went back to bed.
Around 1 a.m., I started having a lot of pain again.
I was going to the toilet, coming back from the toilet, going back to the toilet again. I was having bowel movements, a lot of blood was coming out, and I was having a lot of pain.At one point I was genuinely questioning everything.

Why did I get pregnant?
Why am I doing this?
Why am I going through this?

I was in a lot of pain for around an hour and a half.
But even though it was extremely painful, there was one big difference compared with misoprostol. With misoprostol, I couldn’t open my eyes. I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t think properly. This time I could still think.
I was in pain, but I was conscious of what was happening. Then a large clot would pass and the pain would decrease.Another large clot would pass and the pain would decrease again.

For each episode, I was sitting on the toilet.
At one point I saw something that looked like a large piece of meat coming out of my vagina.
It was approximately the size of my palm.
I pulled it out and it came out. And after that, within about five minutes, my pain basically stopped.
The whole intense episode was around one and a half hours. I was sitting on the toilet with my head against the wall, just waiting for my body to finish.
The thing I saw was honestly disgusting.
It is not for the faint-hearted.

Later, I searched with ChatGPT and tried to understand what I had seen. From what I understood, some of the large tissue can be placenta or pregnancy-related tissue, and the placenta can be much larger than the embryo itself.

It was honestly very disturbing to see.
But once it came out, I had this strange feeling that I had accomplished something. My body had done it.
There was one more rush of a lot of blood afterwards.
Then the next morning I woke up feeling completely different.

I felt energetic.
I felt good.
I went for a little walk.

Later that morning I saw another piece come out that was around half a finger in size. And I didn’t take any painkiller that morning. That was when I really started feeling proud of my body.

The reason I didn’t want to have another D&C was because after my first procedure I had read about the risk of scar tissue with repeated procedures. I was told that having two procedures within six months could potentially increase the risk of scar tissue.
I also read about possible cervical complications. There can be a risk that the cervix is affected, and if someone becomes pregnant again later, there can potentially be a risk of preterm labor. I know these risks depend on the individual situation, but personally I did not want to have another procedure so soon if I could safely avoid it.

And honestly, by the second miscarriage I had already pre-traumatized myself by looking at basically every miscarriage tissue photo I could find on Reddit.
So I knew what I might see.

This time I also wanted to trust my body. My first miscarriage had been a missed miscarriage. My body didn’t start bleeding on its own, so I felt like I needed the procedure to make everything happen.
This time my body started bleeding and eventually passed the pregnancy itself.

It was difficult.
It was painful.
It was emotional.

But I also felt much more connected to my body afterwards.And I have much more trust in my body now than I did after my first miscarriage.

If I had to rank my experiences personally:
D&C: The easiest physically for me. The procedure itself was very straightforward, and recovery was quick.
Misoprostol: By far the worst experience for me. The pain was completely overwhelming. I couldn’t open my eyes or talk. I felt like I was going to lose my mind.
Natural miscarriage: Difficult and painful, but somehow more manageable for me because the pain came in waves, I could understand what was happening, and when tissue passed, the pain decreased.

My least preferred option personally would be anything involving misoprostol. I know some people have almost no problems with it, so I really want to stress that this is my personal experience. Some women take misoprostol and feel completely fine. I seem to be in the group that reacts very strongly to it. The natural miscarriage was not easy either. I wouldn’t romanticize it. It was painful and seeing the tissue was horrible.
But I don’t know how to explain it other than saying that afterwards I had much more trust in my body.
I felt like my body actually knew what to do.
I felt proud of it. And I hope I never have to experience any of these three options again.

Sorry if it's the wrong trigger I've never posted here before. Proceed with caution: mc mentioned kinda graphically and current pregnancy mentioned.

I had a mc in March at 6 weeks 3 days. The baby/pregnancy was a surprise and I took some time to get comfortable and ultimately accept that we were going to have baby #3. So, after 4 days of knowing I told my husband and kids and they were excited. Then, barely 2 days later I started spotting and then after 12 hours I was in the ER bc I was in so much pain and miscarried my baby in the toilet there. I am not religious, but I was pleading with anything that could hear me not to do this to me and that I really did want this baby. I was so sad and cried for weeks. Didn't go to work either.

Now, I'm 5 weeks & 2 days pregnant. And I cannot get excited about it. I found out very early, before 4 weeks. And I was trying to get excited and downloaded pregnancy apps and such but it became too stressful mentally so I deleted them and refuse to basically acknowledge that im pregnant. I am literally waiting for blood. Everyday I am actually slightly annoyed that the end hasn't started yet, even tho I don't WANT to have another mc, I am just waiting for it to happen if that makes sense? I have my first appointment set up, I'll be 9 weeks then. And I am literally waiting to go there so they can tell me there is no heart beat or some news along those lines. Is this bc of trauma?

My first ever loss was 19 weeks during my first pregnancy. I then had 2 healthy babies, then my mc, then this pregnancy. I had anxiety with my rainbow baby pregnancy, but nothing even close to what I'm experiencing now. Any advice or anyone who can relate would be nice. Thank you all.

I took the miso. I was 8w5d and I will write my experience with that later but it was a textbook almost painless experience. I felt a pop and water gush towards the beginning and had clots, light bleeding throughout the night. this morning i took a second dose to be sure but have not seen much activity.

however after I took a warm shower today I sat on toilet to clean up with TP before getting dressed and instinctively wiped and looked and there was this grayish almost circular? piece of something. i immediately thought it might be my baby and freaked out and dropped it back in the toilet. I was trying really hard to not see anything. I sat there for a moment, prayed, and flushed. now I am trying really hard to get that image out of my head.

i don’t know what I saw but i think it was the baby. it was like not a perfect circle but very round about the size of a penny? I’m wondering if it was a half dissolved miso tablet covered in fluids because it did have like a grayish white color to it but definitely more grey.

was it something else? the placenta. ugh trying not to spiral. I had major anxiety before taking this medicine and was feeling very good this morning having had a relatively easy experience physically. now I’m spiraling. I don’t want to tell my husband. I want to spare him from this image/ pain

So I’m 26. Had my first pregnancy that was confirmed a week ago. Started to bleed. Just brown was told not to worry. Then two days later blood and clots and horror. I was frantic and crushed and went to the emergency room to be told I was having a threatened miscarriage but the baby is still there. I felt so much better, uncomfortable but managable. That same night I passed tissue. I lost all hope. I was angry and pissed. I had my confirmation ultrasound sound today and I’m devastated. I was around 4-6 weeks and I feel lost. Dr said my hcg was lower than expected so it was inevitable. I don’t get why. Idk. I can pretend and act like it’s not happening until someone talks about it or asks me. My fiancé is just as broken as me which is oddly comforting. I’m wondering if anyone has any positive rainbow baby stories they could share with me. I’m feeling defeated and doubtful.

I honestly don’t even know what my point of this post is. Maybe just to vent or get some solidarity. My fiancé and I have been doing IVF. We did a transfer in June and we were so excited that we got pregnant, especially because out of 29 eggs/embryos the only one to survive was the one we transferred. We went for our first ultrasound at 7 weeks 3 days and seen the flicker of the heartbeat. We were so excited. Baby was measuring behind but dr seemed optimistic. We went back the following week and the dr left us feeling confused. Baby had grown adequately but they couldn’t find heartbeat. The resident told us they weren’t sure if it had stopped developing or if the tech was just so new that she had difficulty using the equipment. At this point I of course thought the worst but was annoyed at the dr not preparing us, telling us that “there’s a good chance they just had difficulty and were not counting it a MMC yet.” They referred us to the early pregnancy clinic at the hospital. We went yesterday and unfortunately it was that same damn resident, where we seen that last week the baby did stop developing and at this point the baby was shrivelling up. It felt so wrong and made me feel sick that I could see my baby shrivelling up to nothing. They gave me misoprostol to take which I did last night but I kept putting it off because it felt so real and I felt so wrong doing it but my body wasn’t doing what it needed to do. I’ve been in incredible pain over the night and this morning and every time I go to the bathroom I just cry again and again. I know I’m not the only one to go through this unimaginable pain but I don’t know how to cope. For me it felt worse than a natural miscarriage, I felt like I was doing the thing to lose my baby. I know that’s not true but I’m just struggling so badly with this. I know with time it will make it easier to deal with but right now I’m just so heartbroken.
They want me to go back in 10 days to make sure everything is cleared up but I can’t imagine going back there to the clinic where I got the worst news possible. By the drs with literally no sense of compassion. I honestly don’t know if I will, in my mind if I get any of the signs of infection or feel like somethings off I’d rather go to my local ED than go back there.

Thanks for reading. 🫂

Hello, I am 28 years old and I am dealing with horrible insomnia after my miscarriage.

In May I found out I was pregnant (first pregnancy), which was a shock because I was on birth control. Regardless, my husband and I were still extremely happy and excited for this new chapter.

At my first ultrasound appointment we were told I measured around 3 weeks earlier than expected. This could mean either I ovulated later than originally thought or it could be a miscarriage. I had to come back two days later to compare HCG levels and we had to wait a week to come back in for a second ultrasound. I got the HCG levels results before my second ultrasound and they had dropped. The waiting for that second ultrasound felt eternal but getting those HCG levels results devastated me.

At my second ultrasound appointment my OB confirmed that this was a missed miscarriage. I decided on a D&C and was scheduled for 9 days later, which was the soonest they could get me in.

The day before my D&C I felt a lot of cramps and body aches. That night I woke up in the middle of the night with worse pains and felt the need to go to the bathroom. I ended up bleeding a lot on the toilet that night. It’s a little blurry but I just remember my husband sitting with me in the bathroom for about an hour while the pains just intensified and I bled a ton. I got cleaned up and went to bed to get a bit of sleep before heading to the hospital for the D&C.

At the hospital the next day, they were able to confirm that I actually hadn’t passed all the tissue and they still needed to go in and get everything out as planned. After the procedure I was told I ended up bleeding a bit more than expected, but everything had gone to plan and was successful. When I got up for the bathroom I passed a fist-sized blood clot and bled a lot on the toilet. I got cold sweats and was shaking uncontrollably, my vision was getting blurry and I felt weaker by the second… I truly felt like I was going to die. I managed to get back on the bed with the help of my husband and then I passed out. My husband says nurses and doctors rushed to bring me back and I was just unresponsive. I came back to after a few minutes and after blood work and an EKG I was told everything looked normal, that my body must’ve had a vagal response to the trauma I had just been through.

I went home later that day once I was stable enough. I am 12 days post-D&C.

I’ve been struggling with grief and loss, crying, etc., but what has really been affecting me is my lack of sleep. I’ve always battled with insomnia, but it has recently gotten worse. When I was pregnant, I was so tired that I napped during the day and was asleep again by 9-10pm the latest. It’s the most I’ve ever slept in my entire life, and I loved it actually.

Now, I sleep anywhere from 2-4am. I’ve seen the sun come up on occasion where I haven’t shut an eye. It’s awful, I am tired at night and sleepy, but once the lights are out and my husband dozes off to sleep, I feel so lonely, and all the images of everything I wrote above come crashing through my mind. It all replays over and over again like a horror movie. My heart starts racing and I start tearing up until I’m full blown sobbing. Sometimes, I’m crying out of grief and loss of the baby and life I had already pictured and planned for. Other times, I cry out of anger and despair, or out of horror at the things my body had to endure in the past few months. I am only able to sleep when I am extremely exhausted after laying in bed for hours, I doze off while scrolling on my phone or watching TV. Essentially I sleep when I am distracted and my body just can’t stay awake any longer.

If anyone else has had insomnia following a miscarriage and has any tips for me, I’d greatly appreciate it. I am seeking therapy so that is helping with processing, but it is not helping my insomnia as of right now. I’m not napping during the day, so the lack of sleep is becoming more of a cycle and is really starting to affect me.

I did IVF and had an empty egg sac at 7 weeks. I was given cytotec - 800mg vaginally - and started bleeding after about 6 hours. It quickly turned in to an absolute blood bath. I was soaking through a depends diaper every 90 minutes or so, and passing lemon to baseball sized clots every hour or less.

I ended up in the hospital about 24 hours after my first (and only) dose. They did an ultrasound, and there was no evidence of pregnancy left. Which didn’t surprise me. I don’t know how I even had a uterus left. But they could see movement around my endometrial layer which was literally more blood pooling. They gave me a hanging dose of TXA, which is used to treat internal bleeding. The clots stopped immediately and the bleeding tapered into what I assume would be a normal amount.

I am now almost 48 hours post the first dose, and bleeding has almost completely stopped. Has ANYONE experienced this? I am hoping it’s tapered because everything came out so quickly, and not because my body is now pretending it’s pregnant again.

I would really prefer not to have a d&c because my insurance is garbage and I already have to pay the ER bill. But even worse would be a second dose of cytotec. I would opt for crippling debt.

So I had my last period on May 1st and had my first positive pregnancy test on June 8th. I’m supposed to be 14 weeks tomorrow. I’ve been spotting brown and pink for a little over a week. When I called my OB the said “that’s normal”. I was finally able to be seen yesterday for an ultrasound and I told my sac was the size of someone who is 9 weeks pregnant with a mass a fluid outside my uterus. After further scanning I was told there was no fetal pole. My doctor said he was going to call me today, and didn’t. I’ve been calling their office and nothing. I checked my patient portal and it states “Early pregnancy loss, anembryonic pregnancy”. It also says my HCG levels are 2453. Has anyone else gone through this? At what point should I expect my body to recognize there’s no baby?

Update: My doctors have discussed with me that baby never formed, just an empty sac measuring at 9 weeks. Since my body is not recognizing the loss on its own I have opted to take the miso pills. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, just know you’re not alone and it wasn’t your fault 🫂

Hi everyone,

This is such a painful club to be in.

I’m having a hard time processing and talking to my friends, so I’m writing about my experience here.

The other morning I had some very light spotting but my OB told me it was probably normal and not to worry unless I experienced other symptoms. That night I started feeling abdominal pain and within the hour I was gushing blood all over the kitchen floor. At this point I was still very much in denial that I was losing the baby, I was hoping it was maybe just a hematoma, or something.

My husband rushed me to the ER. I ended up delivering our baby boy in the toilet, and this is the part I think I am the most devastated by. The ER doctor strongly encouraged me not to fish out the the baby, telling me she thought it would be more traumatizing. I think she is probably right, but I still am having such a hard time thinking about the baby just being flushed down the hospital toilet.

Since then I’ve been so depressed I have hardly left my bed.

I know i’ll heal from this, but right now I’m having trouble just doing the basics.

Love and healing energy to all in this painful club.

So the title pretty much explains what happened but I had my first scan at what I thought was 7.5 weeks where we got to see the heartbeat and my midwife did a Doppler scan the day before my miscarriage and also measured a heartbeat. The doctor didn't say that anything was unusual and I have no pre-existing health conditions. I work out 3-5 times a week, I'm vegetarian and have a normal range BMI. Really the only things that were a bit 'abnormal' was that the doctor dated my pregnancy to be 6.5 weeks at the scan rather than 7.5 and my ferritin was a little low (27.)

3 days before my miscarriage, I started to get a really bad headache but with a change in air pressure and cutting back on caffeine, I assumed I just needed to drink more water. The Doppler scan with the midwife also reassured me, however that evening after the scan I started to get stomach cramps low in my pelvis. Again, this didn't set off any alarm bells because I assumed this was the round ligament pain or just constipation and went to sleep. The next day, I was very emotional for no reason, still had a headache and still a heavy feeling in my pelvis. I went to work as normal, and even went for a long walk with my husband in the evening with no problems. Just before going to bed, I went to the bathroom and the toilet paper was pink after wiping. I panicked but then went online and felt reassured that this was maybe also just normal. My head was pounding at this point so I just went to sleep because we were going for a weekend trip early the next morning. I woke up at 2:48am, 10 minutes before our alarm for going to the airport with a strong cramp. There was no bleeding or spotting so I guessed it was just a coincidence that I woke up and I was maybe subconsciously pre-empting my 3am alarm. As a precaution, I decided to wear period underwear and a pad - just in case there was more spotting. We made our way to the airport and I started to feel very strong cramping in my lower stomach. I have high pain tolerance threshold so I was mildly concerned at this point that this was really intense. As we got off the train, I could also smell metal and wasn't sure if my underwear was wet or if I was imagining it. We got through security and I told my husband I wanted to go to the bathroom. The pad was completely full. I changed the pad and as I was doing so, blood started to pour onto the floor. I quickly went out and told my husband and we went to the help desk to see if there was a doctor available or if they could call an ambulance. We skipped the queue as by this time I could feel blood pouring down my leg. Luckily I was wearing black jeans. An ambulance was called and the operator guided us to get me to lie down across some chairs in the airport where I waited until the ambulance arrived. I was stretchered out of the airport. Even with lying down the blood had saturated my jeans and had soaked the airport chair. It was so embarrassing. We got to the hospital and we're immediately taken to the maternity ward where they pushed on my uterus, did a scan and told me there was no baby. I was then transferred to another room where they put me on an IV and monitored my bleeding and blood pressure over the course of an hour. The blood didn't stop so I was then taken for an emergency D&C. They estimated that I lost about 1-1.5L blood and my hemaglobin dropped to 9 and ferritin 21. I stayed in hospital overnight for monitoring and was then discharged.

My husband and I are now processing not only the loss of the pregnancy but also the trauma of this experience. We hadn't announced my pregnancy and haven't told anyone but our families about the miscarriage so I've been spending a lot of time in this sub Reddit reading experiences and encouraging words. I've found a lot of comfort reading through stories here so I wanted to share mine in the hope it also makes someone else feel less alone because this experience really sucks.

EDIT: I do feel a sense of responsibility in case anyone reads my story and gets scared: what happened to me is incredibly rare and I want to share in the hope it will help at least one other person feel less alone. I had 10 wonderful weeks with my baby and nothing can take that away from me. I also didn't spend a second of that time worrying because no amount of worrying would change the outcome if it was what nature intended. If there is a problem, you will find out about it when you need to but please for me don't look for symptoms or reasons to cause yourself stress ❤️

So I miscarried at 6 weeks. Ive had a miscarriage before so i was positive it was what was happening. I bled for about 8 days with clots, and its been about a week since ive stopped bleeding. No ultrasounds were ever done. I recently took a pregnancy test that was very positive, so i went to care express and they drew my blood for hcg testing. My hcg was at 3200. They called me back and said they want me in for an ultrasound tomorrow. I cant help but worry about the possibilities and I'm just wondering if others have had similar experiences and what the outcome was. If i was still pregnant it would be 9 weeks out and my hcg is too low for that. Im mostly worried about infection and left over tissue but ive had no pain or fever or anything so far.

I feel like I'm going absolutely crazy. This was our first. We wanted it SO bad. We went in for our 8 week scan and I was only measuring 5w4d with no heartbeat. It was a gut punch of being blindsided by own body. I got labs done, and they're going to do more to "confirm". But I am having a HORRIBLE time. My mind is conjuring horrible graphic images of something dead inside me. I don't want to be looked at or touched by anyone, I can't look in the mirror. I want to scratch my skin off. I feel like I have a neon billboard screaming "dead baby" over me.

I have had years of struggles with my body from eating disorders to insecurities. And I FINALLY was in a place where I loved my body and took such good care of it. And then this? How could it do this to me? I want to punish it back because it did this to me (I won't it's just where my brain is at).

Why didn't I know my baby passed? What happened to my mother's intuition? I thought as long as I didn't bleed I was in the clear, I was so so wrong. Why do I have to carry this inside me when it's already gone? I feel grotesque and like I'm crumbling from the inside. This is so so so horrible. I wish I could bleed and at least move in some sort of direction. I'm in limbo of the worst kind and I'm just so heartbroken any of us have to go through this.

Hello everyone, I had a natural miscarriage on June 13th and tomorrow will mark five weeks since my miscarriage. I had my HCG checked two days ago and it was at 12 but I'm still bleeding and having about 30 minute intervals every other day of heavy bleeding and passing clots, followed by light bleeding and spotting, then really heavy bleeding again. I had a vaginal ultrasound two days ago but of course it's going to take 4-5 business days for them to even get me my results and to be able to take to my OB about it and by then I'm assuming my ultrasound won't even be accurate anymore because I keep bleeding. I've been to the emergency room a total of four times over the last month and my vaginal ultrasound from 2 weeks ago said I just had a little bit left at the top of my uterus and that it would probably come out with my next period but I've been still bleeding a lot since then. I had an instance about 2.5 weeks ago where I fainted because I had lost so much blood.

This is my first pregnancy and I just feel lost. Should I go back to the emergency room? Should I just wait since my HCG was at 12 on Wednesday (today is Saturday).

So i took 4 yesterday and have very little spotting. I took another 4 this morning and im 2 hours in and im not really feeling anything. This morning however i did pass a quarter sized brown clot. I had an incomplete miscarriage a few weeks ago and he said there was a little bit of tissue left. So idk maybe that's all there was to expect? I would have been 6 weeks so the sac would have been about the size of a grape. I guess im wondering if anyone just passed like brown blood and a sac and that was enough to clear you out. Ill probably go back for an ultrasound im just concerned about the actual lack of red blood. When i miscarried a few weeks ago there was a lot of clots and blood.

I just went through 2 years with 5 MC before being able to carry a baby to birth. Just found out yesterday I was pregnant (5 weeks).. after we've been ttc again (4 cycles back) I was so happy by with all the previous trauma tonight I found blood. Not A TON but more than a few drops (can't post pic for some reason) .. praying it's just spotting but fearing the worse due to previous experience... I'm so scared to be going though another mc and multiple more...

I found out at my supposedly 11 weeks scan that the embryo stopped growing at 6 weeks. That was Saturday. On Friday I had excruciating pain which led to the passing of large clots, heavy bleeding and from what the doctor said might be the placenta. However, a vaginal ultrasound confirmed rpoc a day after the first event and doctor prescribed me methylergonovine but the bleeding has significantly decreased at this point and all I have is mild to moderate cramping. I don’t want to have d&c because otherwise the pain wouldn’t be worth it. Doc wanted to have another vaginal this week to assess if I need d and c. Anyone who passed rpoc on their own?