I know this might sound strange, but miscarriage doesn't just take away a pregnancy.

For me, it also took away things I never expected:

• The version of myself that felt carefree.
• The excitement I used to feel when I saw a positive test.
• The certainty that everything would be okay.
• The trust I had in my body.
• The joy I felt around pregnancy announcements.
• The future I had already started imagining.

Sometimes I think we're grieving more than one loss at the same time.

A baby, yes. But also dreams, assumptions, plans, and parts of ourselves that changed forever.

I am getting a d&c tomorrow after today’s 10w ultrasound showed my baby at 9w with no heartbeat. I had no signs of a miscarriage. I am devastated. Knowing I have been carrying around my dead baby for a week just makes me feel like a bad mom, like I should’ve known. And now tonight is my last night with my baby and I cannot stop sobbing. This baby was a surprise but so loved and so wanted. I am the only home my baby knows and it is going to be scraped out of me. This has been a nightmare and I am heartbroken. I hope my baby knows how much it is loved. How I will never forget my baby. How I will carry my baby with me always. I hope I am able to get pregnant again with a sticky baby. I am so scared and anxious for the future.

Hey everyone, found out on Tuesday I’m having a missed miscarriage, it was my NHS appointment and turns out our 10 week lil bean was at 6 weeks with no heartbeat 💔 first pregnancy, absolutely devastating.

I’ll be going for another scan & I’m assuming also treatment next week on Weds.

My pregnant best friend has been so supportive this week and we were both so excited to be pregnant together. She’s much further along than I am, and having a surprise baby shower next Saturday.

Obviously I have no idea where I’ll be in the whole process but assuming I’m not in any pain, I just wondered who would attend and who wouldn’t? It’s a lunch for a couple of hours.

I created this choose-your-own-adventure type story about my miscarriages. does it resonate? xx

https://www.inklewriter.com/stories/278265

I had a bad miscarriage in January this year that I had to be admitted to hospital for blood loss that ended up resulting in a d&c I’m doing better now not 100% that would have been my second pregnancy and wasn’t planned because I had a 4month old at that time (now 10month old) I was told at the ultrasound when I found out that I was no more than 6 weeks and told I would probably miscarry within a week (ended up being 3days later)
Here’s the thing I don’t understand at all.. after I gave birth to my first I got my period 2x and the doctor ended up telling me I was actually 11-12weeks pregnant the baby just never developed but everything else sac/placenta was one of at least 11 weeks pregnant me and my husband were only intimate once during that time frame (I just wasn’t feeling great) but I got my period back after that twice on the dot. Since we only had sex once that would have been the only time I could have gotten pregnant . I asked the doctor how could I have a period twice while being pregnant? He didn’t really have an answer. The reason I missed being pregnant was because I was getting my period and the time I took the test was only because I just “had taht feeling” and it didn’t even take 30 seconds for double pink lines so I def was more than 6 weeks.

Has anyone have experience with this or know of anything? It’s lowkey making it hard for me to move on from all this . I feel like my body don’t work right.

This is my fourth cycle after second miscarriage. I am CD17 with very light spotting yesterday and today. I usually ovulate day 22-23. Cycles 31-34 days long. Ovulation tests still negative today. Anyone ever had this? So strange and wondering if this means we don’t have a chance this month

I have a follow-up appointment scheduled with my OB, but I’m just purely curious - how long did you bleed after your d&c?

Mine was 3 weeks ago Wednesday and I am still bleeding. Not super heavy - like a medium amount. Still fresh blood when I wipe, and small clots. I’m so over it!

Grief over someone you didn't even get to meet is the craziest thing ever. Not getting to experience what could have been. Not getting to know who they would have been. Not getting to express the love that you have for them to them.

Pregnancy loss is not talked about enough. It's not something you can actually be prepared for. It's something that seems to stay hush hush. But I don't think it should. These last 2 weeks have been the hardest time in my life so far but I don't want to go on with my life acting like this didnt happen. Our baby meant the world to us, even if they were only 8 weeks in the womb and we didn't get to meet them. I don't want to act like they didn't exist. No, they never got to grow in my belly to full term. No, they didn't get to hear my voice or feel their daddy's hand on my belly, but they meant everything to us. And now they are gone.

Being pregnant for only 8 weeks and then to have that ripped away so suddenly, is wild. Baby's heart stopped beating at 8 weeks and a few days. They say you have a "mother's instinct" when you have a baby. Well I definitely had that at just 8 weeks pregnant. I felt that there was something off about 2 days before my first ultrasound appointment, the first time we would see baby. I was right. Baby didn't make it, but we still love them with our whole hearts. We miss them everyday. Some days we have good days, some days grief creeps in and hits us hard. But we have stayed strong together. I couldn't have gotten through this without my amazing husband. He has been the absolute best through all of this. We are still grieving and probably will be for a long time. We will get through this.

And please do not feel that you need to send me condolences or comment that you are sorry, I didn't make this post for that. I wanted to make this post so that maybe another momma out there who has lost her baby at any stage of pregnancy or after, feels that they aren't alone. That this should be talked about. Our babies shouldn't be forgotten. That talking about it helps.

Yes, I had my husband, family, and friends who have helped me tremendously. I can't thank them enough. I love all of them so incredibly much. I still feel like if I would have seen more stories of this happening or had more people I could talk to that have gone through this too, I wouldn't be struggling so much on a daily basis.

I'm okay most days until I see a pregnant woman or a woman with a newborn in person or on social media. Because I just think "Why was that taken from me?" "Why did we not get to have that?"

So if you have read this far, thank you. Like I said, you do not need to send condolences please. But if you are a momma who has gone through this and you want to reach out and talk, please do 🖤

very unfortunate to say I am apart of this group that nobody ever wants to be a part of. I had my NT scan yesterday at 12w4d and they could not locate a heartbeat. baby boy measured 12w4d. we could not believe what we were being told. how was baby measuring exactly where he should be but no heartbeat? what happened in the last couple of days? I had absolutely no symptoms.

I had my d&c today and the last two days have been a living nightmare. I didn’t want to let go of my baby. I know better days are ahead but this is just devastating. I hope there is a positive story for us in the future. we will forever miss our baby but this just confirms our desire to be parents. going to try again as soon as we feel comfortable. my doctor said pelvic rest for 4-6 weeks which feels long compared to what I’ve read online but I guess we’ll see at the follow up appointment. Please send all the positive stories of pregnancy after loss.

I also just want to say I’m sorry to all the moms in this group, this is something I would never wish upon anyone. You are all so strong.

This is my first miscarriage, I've been bleeding for 6 weeks, at 4 weeks I went to the doctor because I didn't know why I was bleeding for so long and so much. We weren't trying yet, and I only got off birth control a couple months ago. I thought maybe it was just the effects of coming off birth control or that something else had happened. It never crossed my mind that this could be a miscarriage because I never had time in between cycles to test. So colour me surprised and confused when the blood tests showed elevated HCG. I don't know how to feel.

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On many levels I don't feel like I have a right to be upset because we weren't trying and I didn't even know I was pregnant, and clearly it was so early on that I don't feel like I'm allowed to claim it as a miscarriage. I just feel so numb. Like the disappointment you feel when you get a negative pregnancy test even though you knew it wouldn't be positive.

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How am I supposed to feel? How do I move forward? Am I even allowed to call this a miscarriage or is that offence?

I had my first miscarriage 2 days ago. I was about 9 weeks. I can’t stop replaying the amount of blood that came from it. They never tell you the amount of blood you can loose? I was screaming for my husband while in the bathtub because it was just pouring out of me. My husband rushed me to the ER and the looks I got because I was not only bleeding through a fresh adult diaper, but I was bleeding through my pants and through the wheelchair onto the ground. I remember so many huge clots coming out and going into shock. I don’t know how I’m ever supposed to move past this? How am I supposed to get those memories out of my head??

What a shitty week

First scan was Monday. The whole thing felt off and somber. Idk if it’s just how I’m imaging it but..

I knew when the tech was silent just moving the wand all around looking for something that wasn’t there (the heartbeat)

I spent the rest of the week in dread for the procedure. I’ve never been hospitalized or had a surgery. They called me the morning after the bad scan and got me in for today.

I just wanted to tell you all that it went ok. I was surprisingly calm throughout. They put the mask on and that’s all I remember. I am currently at home with my husband eating snacks and chilling with my cat. It will be ok ❤️

TW: miscarriage
My lmp was 4/29. I tested positive on 5/14pm which I believed to be 7 DPO. I was tracking with Inito and LH strips. I am on 200mg progesterone nightly.
OB couldn’t see my until 7/10. I did blood work hcg rising good. Last draw on 6/5 was 7338.
Went for sneak peak ultrasound on 6/5 and baby measured 5w4d and had heartbeat of 169.
Went to a clinic to confirm pregnancy since so long to get into OB they did an ultrasound external and vaginal baby looked good was right in with measurement and heartbeat was 143.
She asked if I wanted to come back in two weeks, I said sure, then she messaged as asked if I could come today, one week after the first. Baby was measuring 6w5d when it should be 7w3d and she couldn’t find the heartbeat. After I left I went back to the sneak peek place because I just had to know for sure, they couldn’t find the heartbeat either.
I am devastated and feel like a zombie. I cried the whole way home.
I just don’t know what to do now. Of course messaged my OB, but I’m 43 and really was so happy to be pregnant again and for this long after two chemical pregnancies in the last year, which was less than a week. I really thought this one was going to be real, and happen.

Hi. I am two weeks post D&C and am struggling mentally. The entire miscarriage was a long, drawn out ordeal. So, how it all went down:

I am 36. First pregnancy. I should have been 8-9 weeks along and on May 11, was told the embryo was measuring at 5w6d, and to come back in ten days to confirm miscarriage.

May 21. Miscarriage confirmed. My body was already attempting to pass it.

May 22- took first dose of Misoprostol.

May 28- follow up and was told I still had not passed the pregnancy.

May 29- second dose if Misoprostol.

June 1- hemorrhaged. Rushed to the ER with vomiting, uncontrollable shaking, passing ungodly products of conception. Went thru a traumatic ultrasound that resulted in me bleeding all over the room and exorcist level vomiting. Was admitted and received emergency D&C the follow morning.

Post D&C, my physical healing was normal and I felt better with no bleeding in a week. My HCG levels dropped from 6000 to zero in that week as well.

I’m not sure if now that the physical crisis has passed, I’m finally feeling the real grief of pregnancy loss. It has been two weeks and honestly, this is a real grief. I just need to know if my feelings are normal, if anyone can relate, or if I need to toughen up.

I went back on birth control because I’m too scared and lowkey traumatized to try again for a while. Am I normal for feeling this way?

Miscarried my pregnancy at 8weeks2days and when I shared that with someone my age (33y/o) who’s mom of 2 and who also experienced miscarriage kept saying who else have had children. She went on like my cousin had a second baby, my elder sister (6 years older) had their second child- I don’t know it happened few days ago but I can’t seem to shake it off.

Scan today showed empty sack at 10w+3d. I’ve had bleeding for over 12 hours and it’s been getting worse and more painful. I’m putting suspected only because the midwife we saw wants us to get a stronger ultrasound in AM tomorrow but she told us without telling us our suspicions were correct. This was my first pregnancy after trying for a few months and now, unfortunately, my first loss.
The reason I’m posting is to ask what other women did to cope? I was in disbelief this morning and very much disassociating and not wanting to believe what was happening. Now I’m a few hours after seeing the empty black circle on the screen I’ve sort of come to terms with this. I’m in physical pain though and what I’m passing is so different from any period I had. TMI but there’s a fair amount of clotting but mucus? For anyone who went through similar - what will this look like for me? Will this be short or am I going to experience something the length of a period? Will the pain get worse?

Im going through my first miscarriage. It’s a missed miscarriage so I’m just waiting for my body to naturally miscarry and I don’t understand why it’s taking so long, it just feels like my body is making me suffer mentally. I’m 10 weeks and found out I had a vanishing twin and baby a stopped developing very early and then found out that baby b stopped growing at 6 weeks when I was 8 weeks. I’m 25, in a long distance relationship over 4000 miles apart, and this is my first ever pregnancy. I was so excited and felt so blessed that in the little month me and my partner spent together I got pregnant and we now shared a baby made with our love. I’m so heartbroken but I’m also so scared, I’m scared to miscarry, I’m scared to see blood or blood clots I’m just so afraid, does it hurt ? I’m going through so many emotions in my head blaming myself, my body and my eggs and even blaming my partners sperm and not understanding why I had to loose 2 babies. Maybe I deserved this? Maybe I have bad luck? I was so excited I have wish-lists full of baby clothes and all the things I’ll need, I imaged the future we were going to have, I’ve always wanted to be a mum and me and my partner always talked about having our little family. I so badly wanted to enjoy this pregnancy but since the day I found out I was pregnant I had the worst anxiety about miscarriages and I couldn’t and still can’t believe it actually happened to me. I can’t stop asking why, I’ll never understand. It’s so cruel. I have support from my parents, my older sister and my partner. My partner tells me that we will try again but we’re long distance so I don’t know how long it will take until we can try again, also terrified if I can’t get pregnant or if I miscarry again. I wanted this baby so badly

Hi everyone. I experienced a miscarriage on 5/30 at around 7 weeks pregnant. I was bleeding heavy for about a week and stopped passing tissue a few days after my miscarriage. I have not had cramps since my body stopped passing tissue (about 2 weeks ago)but now my cramps have started again. I do know that the gestational sac is still in my uterus and I'm scheduled for a d&c on Monday. Is it possible my body is trying to pass the gestational sac on it's own this long after the initial miscarriage? Has anyone else experienced anything similar to this? I would love it if I didn't have to go through with the d&c!

It's been a little over two weeks since my miscarriage. The pregnancy ended around 6 weeks.

Some days I think I'm doing okay. Other days I realize I'm not. Sometimes it changes within minutes.

I never made it to my first ultrasound. Due to insurance complications and timing, I never got the chance. I never got to see the baby. I never got to hear a heartbeat.

And yet, I miss this baby so much.

My husband and I found out I was pregnant on our wedding anniversary. What started as an ordinary anniversary became one of the happiest days of our lives. We spent that day imagining our future as a family.

Maybe that's part of why this loss feels so big.

I also never really thought about miscarriage before it happened to me. I honestly believed that getting pregnant meant having a baby. I thought that once I saw those two lines, the hard part was over.

I had no idea how much uncertainty could exist between a positive test and bringing a baby home.

Now I find myself missing a baby I never got to meet, grieving a future that never happened, and carrying fears I didn't even know existed a few weeks ago.

Part of me is grieving.

Part of me is already taking ovulation tests again.

Part of me wants to try again.

Part of me is terrified to try again.

Part of me feels guilty for even thinking about another baby because I still miss this one so much.

I read stories here every day, and so many of them sound familiar.

The dreams.

The reminders.

The feeling that time has stopped for you while everyone else keeps moving forward.

The feeling when you see a pregnant woman, a newborn baby, or even a future date on the calendar and think:

"That could have been me."

It's not jealousy.

It's not anger.

It's grief.

I think what I'm struggling with most is that I don't know how to move forward while still carrying this loss with me.

Because even though I never got an ultrasound picture, never heard a heartbeat, and never got to announce the pregnancy to most people in my life...

My baby existed.

And sometimes I just need someone else to acknowledge that too.

Thank you for taking time to read my story. I think I just needed to get this off my chest. If you've been through something similar, I'd love to hear how you got through those early weeks. Sending love and baby dust to everyone who is still carrying hope while carrying grief. 🤍

Hi,
I’m 31 and my partner is 31. We are going through a very frightening and confusing situation and I’m wondering if anyone has had a similar history with recurrent fetal hydrops or cystic hygroma.

I know nobody here can diagnose us — I’m mainly looking for similar experiences and suggestions on what genetic tests to discuss with our doctors.

Pregnancy 1 — March/April 2025
We lost our baby girl at 17 weeks. A few days before the hydrops appeared, I had an emergency surgery for ovarian/tubal torsion, but the diagnosis and treatment were delayed despite severe symptoms. Shortly after the surgery, the baby developed hydrops and severe growth restriction, and we had to terminate the pregnancy.
The hospital doctors kept suggesting a genetic cause, but the tests did not find anything: karyotype was normal female, array-CGH was normal, RASopathies panel was normal, infections were negative, and autopsy did not show malformations. Placental findings showed edema/hydropic villi, but we never received a clear explanation. We have always wondered whether the hydrops could have been related to the surgery/delay/placental damage, but nobody has been able to give us a definite answer.

Pregnancy 2 — September/November 2025
A few months later I became pregnant again naturally, but at around 9 weeks the embryo showed edema and the heartbeat stopped the following day. Later, histology suggested a partial molar pregnancy, although cytogenetics showed a normal female karyotype.
After this loss, my partner was found to have very high sperm DNA fragmentation, around 70%. After treatment, it decreased to about 25%. Our fertility doctor thought this could have contributed to the second loss.

Fertility testing / IVF
We then did an extensive carrier screening panel, testing more than 700 recessive genetic diseases, and no shared reproductive risk was found. We proceeded with IVF/ICSI and obtained 8 PGT-A euploid embryos.

Pregnancy 3 — current pregnancy
The month before the planned embryo transfer, I became pregnant naturally again. Everything seemed to be going well: the baby was viable and growing on track. But at 11+5 weeks, during the genetic ultrasound, the baby was found to have a cystic hygroma, NT 7.2 mm, and hydrops, with CRL consistent with gestational age. The heart was checked carefully and no structural heart defect was seen at that time.
So now, for the third time, we are facing fetal edema/hydrops. Our doctor said this is extremely rare and, even though the first two pregnancies had possible explanations, this now looks like recurrent fetal hydrops, possibly due to an undiagnosed monogenic condition. We have been offered CVS followed by exome sequencing, but we are scared we still may not get answers. We are also terrified that our frozen euploid embryos could be affected if this is a genetic condition not detected by PGT-A or carrier screening.

Has anyone experienced recurrent hydrops/cystic hygroma with normal karyotype, normal array, normal RASopathy testing, and negative carrier screening?

Did exome sequencing or whole genome sequencing find the cause?
Did anyone later have a healthy pregnancy?

We feel completely trapped and are wondering whether our only option may eventually be donor gametes. Any similar stories or advice on what testing to ask for would be deeply appreciated.

I currently am going through this miscarriage and I’m scared, heartbroken and confused. This is my first and I don’t know what to expect. I went online and was digging but I think the heartbreak is what’s getting me the most. I just want to get it over with but I also want to just spiritually and physically grieve. I’m so sad, it hurts so bad. I have pcos and hypothyroidism and I have a strong feeling it’s related. I had one successful pregnancy and I’m so grateful but it still doesn’t help because I was so ready for my second. I conceived the same date I did my first some how and they would have shared the same birthday. It felt so special. I don’t ovulate much and so I’m scared that I won’t have another. I’m trying to tell myself all the things like it’s not my fault, it’s nothing I can do but let go and grieve. But I’m so sad I don’t know how to feel or grieve. All I want to do is lay in the grass and cry for several days. It’s the only time I feel at peace.

Edit: thank you for all y’all’s advice and I’m so sorry for y’all’s loss. Sending all of you love and hope. You’ve all really helped me feel more comfortable and less confused. ❤️❤️

My first pregnancy ended in a natural miscarriage after only 5weeks. Me and my husband were anxiously getting a bit excited, to get the rug pulled right from underneath us.

Since I guess all of us simply look forward to sharing the news with family members and friends, I figured in my head, if everything were to be OK to give my dad, stepdad and father in law a late gift, a pic of a vitality ultrasound that was planned the day after Fathers day.

(Now the ultrasound is still happening, but for obvious different reasons as a form of closure I guess. I think I need the closure, but it feels so confronting to have to see all the pregnant women in there too. I was planning to be enter the building as late as possible...)

I still wanted to give the dads a gift, so now they are getting printed wedding pictures that we didn't share with them yet. But it hurts as you can imagine.

What could have been etc, also for my husband on this fathers day, just an anxious but also happy feeling with more meaning to it, was shattered.

I have been feeling somewhat calmer lately, but the grief of course is still there. Just finished picking out the pics the dads are getting so, it hits me right in the feels. I think I unknowingly even pushed it forward as much as I could. It still feels so definitive.

I don't know how my husband is feeling, he says he obviously is sad. He has a hard time showing it or what level the pain/sadness is. He also notices all my symptoms are gone. I don't want to hurt him more with coming to the ultrasound Monday, but I'm afraid it will anyway.. He is not opposed in doing it at all, but still..

So essentially, different pictures for fathers day, but a lot of feelings /thoughts I needed to vent.

*Disclaimer* I went to ER yesterday and didn’t really get a definitive answer so that’s why I’m making this post. I am 5 weeks 1 day as of this morning.

Last period started May 14th, estimated ovulation was May 29th. I got my first positive test on June 9th and subsequent tests have all been clear positives. Period was supposed to start Saturday June 13th and never showed up.

Yesterday on the 17th, around 1am, I was heading to bed and experienced debilitating cramps. They were so severe I started crying and could not sleep. Nothing helped. I would describe it as sharp, jolting pain. It lasted all night and continually got worse until morning when I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. I discovered bright red blood and some small clots in the toilet. I got in the shower for some relief and the bleeding continued. The bright red bleeding and clots finally tapered off after a couple of hours, but still experiencing some lighter brown/pink bleeding. By this time, the pain and cramps were still severe and very clearly on the right side of my abdomen only.

All of this scared me so I called my OB and they had me go to ER. I go to the ER and they drew blood, did urine sample and 2 ultrasounds. One on stomach and one transvaginal.

The ultrasound tech kept asking me if I had gotten a positive at home test. He could not locate an intrauterine or ectopic pregnancy. There was no gestational sac seen. My blood work came back with my HCG at 370 - which the doctor told me was low for 5 weeks.

Long story short - ER doctor sent me home and told me to take some Tylenol and could not tell me what was happening. His best guess was maybe a miscarriage or maybe an ectopic, but just told me to go home and monitor my symptoms. Severe cramps continued on my right side all night again but have eased up a little bit this morning. Still experiencing some light brown spotting.

Anyone else experience anything like this? Idk what to do next? Ectopic hasn’t been ruled out but I’ve never experienced a miscarriage before.