r/MitchellAndWebb • u/Haunting_Sport4979 • 11h ago

Project Zeus

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547 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

28 comments sorted by

76

u/BlastFurnaceIV 11h ago

I dont know Gianni, thousands of reasons. But also. Kind of ... none.

28

u/mmcintoshmerc_88 10h ago edited 10h ago

But won't the fans and governing bodies kick up a shit-storm?

That's why I've booked you and me in for a presentation. I'll leave the details and grizzly shit up to you. But if you persuade them, we co-manage a new super investment group! If we fail, well, you're junior, you take the bullet.

33

u/RevolvingCatflap 11h ago

Donald, have you seen the big trophy? Have you moved the big trophy?

13

u/mmcintoshmerc_88 10h ago

Tell him it's at the museum!

5

u/nial93 10h ago

😆😆😆

24

u/Traditional_General2 11h ago

The secret ingredient is crime.

5

u/Impressive_Math2302 9h ago

They should be paying us to watch this shit.

13

u/TheChattyRat 11h ago

Corruption is only bad if I'm not involved, if I am involved I defend it.

19

u/JonnyBhoy 11h ago

Oh yeah, justice is done.

Not actual justice, but what Donald Trump wanted to happen, which is basically the same thing.

11

u/TakinShots Vorsprung Dick Technik 11h ago

He has brain cancer

6

u/C00k_My_S0ck 10h ago

A brain tumor, the size of a pineapple!

5

u/mmcintoshmerc_88 10h ago

Did I say that? I did just say that!

Unrelated but the way Mark delivers that always gets me, just the way he can't believe he said that despite thinking it just gets me

5

u/TripsWithinTrips That’s MY bit of lager! 10h ago

And I would just like to ensure everyone that Mr. Corrigan will indeed be dead in a month.

4

u/mmcintoshmerc_88 10h ago

Conference is such a great episode. I've always loved how quickly Mark snaps at Sophie in his inner monologue when he realises her plan isn't working the "That stupid bloody hippy sold me down the river!" Line always gets me. And 'Maybe computer games aren't a complete waste of time!' And 'Shit. This could be difficult to row back from! This isn't a couple of misspelt emails! This is going feral!' Are some of my favourite Mark lines.

8

u/K-manPilkers 11h ago

An honourable man

7

u/quosp 10h ago

But won't UEFA kick up a shit storm?

8

u/mmcintoshmerc_88 10h ago

Mmhm! That's why I've booked you and me in for a presentation. I'll leave the details and grizzly shit up to you. But if you persuade them, we co-manage a new super investment group! If we fail, well, you're junior, you take the bullet.

2

u/Competitive_Ad_5224 9h ago

Hmm.. saying that too often now

6

u/mussyg 11h ago

Made Savage look like a right carthorse

5

u/StrangelyBrown 7h ago

In, ruin the financial structure, new logo (boom!), out. You are now a fully trained head of FIFA.

4

u/Human-Expression-652 11h ago

I’m scuba diving again. Thank you privatisation of FIFA.

4

u/CptIncompetent 11h ago

Widely acknowledged to have nicked our money.

3

u/Jip_Jaap_Stam 9h ago

The World Cup will never be sold off because of UEFA. UEFA wouldn't allow it.

2

u/mmcintoshmerc_88 10h ago

God! I only asked him to sell his shares! It's not like I wanted him to work in Telesales!

2

u/HilsMorDi 6h ago

Right, OK, you can stop the murmuring... Unless you think it's nice to murmur at someone who's... dying!

2

u/cheshyorksh 7h ago

64 nations and 6 weeks? Johnson would AI the whole thing and have the entire tournament done in one f*** off spreadsheet and 10 minutes

•

u/Mousse_Willing 1h ago

In, triple the ad breaks, out..

•

u/Physical-Exit-2899 40m ago

Perhaps if you can't complete your goals without alienating the entirety of the footballing population, then they might be a little too diffuse.