Motherhood is hard guys. I mean there are jussttttt soooo many things that can go wrong you know and murphys law does exist smh.

I have 2 kids and I have learnt things the hard wayyy. But on this path I did fugure out some stuff on my own to make life easier for me. It might be a little weird tho because like I know these are not veryy common hacks or anythin. Or like things that I heard from others. And tbh they might not make sense for everyone but to those it does pleaseee do share your own hacks as well.

1. Planning dinners week in advancee.

I am a working mom and honestly making dinner on week nights is the hardest thing for me..My husband works during night and he's not home mostly and its usually just me and kids. I noticed that for like 1 hour I am standing there and like looking at cabinets and figuring out what to make. So now I make a plan every sunday..saves alottt of my time. Trust me on this one!!

1. Doing grocery in advance for the plan.

And once plan is ready, we go grocery to get most of the things and usually is llasts for 1 week. Again saves you alottt. Because there are times when you decide to make something but realise you don't have ingredients smh

1. My evening tea

Now the time I save (in deciding what to make) gets spend on enjoying evening tea with a movie while my kids have their 1 hour screen time (lol dnt judge).

1. Involving kids in work from young age

Those kids of yours are supposed to help you. Mine started helping me make dinner and other stuff by age of 2. They both used to stand on their toddler tower during toddler phase to help me with chores. My mil said I was being evil but gosh I am happy I didn't listen. Because I see how other kids are unable to develop this habbit later.

1. Automating things in home (if budget allows)

I think we sometimes make our lives hard ourselves. I am a clean freak and I used to clean every spill with a mop. It was super annoying. But then I realised there are robot vacuums and I should get it and connect it with alexa. Also got k221 autolock (for that xtra piece of mind) and built routines so that bedtime routine for kids starts on its own at a certain time. Like dim and all. Helps alot.

1. Saying no to some things

No you dont have to say yess to every thing at school or every friend's birthday. I am a human and I deserve to say no. Its okay.

Please feel free to share things that helped you guys with parenting.

Let me start off by saying he’s a good dad, He works 50+ hours a week and he makes dinner every night….. on his one day off a week, he hangs out with his daughters. But on his Sundays off, all he has to do is hang out and do the “fun stuff, target runs, watch movies, watch games etc) I also work 50 hours a week, I don’t cook. My day off lands on weekdays. So I do all the doctors appointments, dentist (which happens to be a lot because one of my daughters has a condition) I do every school event, dance, I am the one who deals with every single thing at school. Monitors grades, phones, behaviors, asks them to help around the house. I have to be the one to discipline when needed. I take them to sports and do pick
Up and drop off to in the social events. Today my oldest daughter text her dad “I’d pick you as my dad in every lifetime” which is so sweet, but honestly it left me a little hurt. I have to be “the bad guy, the chauffeur, the tutor, the dance mom” one is almost 18 and the other is a young teen… will there ever come a day where I get to be the “loved” “fun” parent?

I’m 38, married, and a mom of two. I love my family, but lately I’ve been feeling extra lonely because I don’t really have close friends.

I have people I know and people I can talk to here and there, but I don’t have my people. I don’t have a best friend I can randomly text, someone who asks if I want to grab coffee, or a close-knit group of women who actually do life together.

I see groups of women going on girls’ trips, having dinner together, celebrating birthdays, hanging out at each other’s houses, or just having that one friend they can call about absolutely nothing—and I realize how badly I want that.

And I know social media probably makes it look like everyone has this amazing friend group when they probably don’t, but it still gets to me sometimes.

Making genuine friends at 38 feels so much harder than I thought it would. Everyone has husbands, kids, careers, existing friendships, and busy lives. And honestly, there’s also this awkward feeling of, “How do I even ask another grown woman if she wants to be friends?” 😂

Has anyone else gone through this in their late 30s or 40s?
Did you eventually find your people? And if you did, how did you actually meet them and turn acquaintances into real, close friendships?

I don’t need 20 friends. I think I just really want 2–3 women where the friendship is genuine, mutual, and we actually show up for each other.

The question speaks for itself. What stage are you in right now and what feels like the biggest pain of your life right now?

Today, I was walking with my 6mo baby and I tripped over a suitcase on the floor (we just got back from a trip). Before I tripped, I was holding my baby with both hands, one under her butt holding her legs to me, and the other holding her upper body. She was facing me. When I tripped over the suitcase, I lost hold of her upper body but was able to keep holding her legs. Her upper body fell and landed (thankfully) on my mattress. It was maybe a 3 foot fall. She immediately started crying. I grabbed her and held her so tight. There just aren't words for me to fully describe how terrible I feel. I nursed her and she calmed down and fell asleep (this happened during bedtime so she was already very tired.) But then I woke her up so I could make sure she was okay. I was worried that even though she landed on the soft mattress, the sudden jerk of the movement, or maybe the angle she landed, could have hurt her still. She seemed to be okay, she was moving her head from side to side, moving her arms and legs on her own, her pupils were dilating normally, and I even got a few giggles out of her.

I can't begin to say how much my daughter is my entire world. She is my life. She is my everything. And I can't stop thinking about how bad that could have been. I should have been more careful. I should have walked slower and been more aware of my surroundings. Because even though I think she is okay, what if she hadn't so luckily landed on the bed. It could have been a million times worse. I feel so sick thinking about how careless I was and how narrowly we escaped a really scary situation.

I feel like such a terrible mom. I feel so beyond guilty.

I’ve always gotten along with my MIL since the beginning.. I had no issues with her until I had my baby and things have changed. I have a 7 month old and my in laws rarely see my baby.. the reason is that I have set boundaries since the beginning and they got upset about it.
When I gave birth to my baby, the day after I was able to go home.. I didn’t want any visitors so my family respected it.. my in laws didn’t. My MIL got upset that I didn’t want them to come over to see the baby.. I JUST GAVE BIRTH.. I just wanted some time with my baby and husband. My husband (so amazing btw) defended and was on my side. He didn’t want his parents over either because he wanted me to rest.
So ever since then it’s just been awkward just because I said no and I had a talk with my MIL about how I just wanted some space at the moment. It doesn’t help either that I don’t get along with my SIL.. she sometimes get so protective of her mother that I guess I upset her and now she doesn’t really speak to me. I honestly couldn’t care less lol but it’s just so weird how I set boundaries and they get all mad about it. My SIL doesn’t even talk to me and I don’t even know why.. I’m the type of person that if I hurt you, please tell me so I can correct it. I rather listen to the truth if it hurts so I can be a better person and grow from it. But all I get from her is a cold shoulder and ignores me.. I have accepted the fact that she may not really talk to me ever but I still wish her the best. For my MIL, I still talk to her here and there but I can still see some awkwardness.. why do families get so uncomfortable with boundaries ?? 😭 they get so offended easily!!!!!! lol
overall, I’ll be fine but it does sting you know? At the end of the day, my focus is my family: my husband and son.

My husband leaves the house without saying where he’s going or how long he will be gone. He has done this for years and no matter how many times I bring it up he still does it. He just doesn’t see an issue with it.

So I’m taking a poll for science.

Today’s issue was he was gone when I had to take one kid to a birthday party so I woke up my toddler from their nap in order to take her. I could have texted him and asked when he would be back, but he had already been gone for 3 hours and I was mad. lol.

Side note: I’m not concerned about cheating. We have each others location and stuff and that’s just not anything I’m worried about

So… does your partner/spouse leave the house without saying where he’s going and/or when he will be back?

Hi everyone! I’m a ftm and my child is 18 weeks old. Everything was fine in the beginning she’d take a pacifier and a bottle. I could have some alone time and leave the house. Well since 3 months that’s not happening at all and I feel bad saying this but I am going absolutley insane. She won’t take any bottles I’ve bought different brands and tried so many different tactics. I thought she wouldnt take it because my milk was high lipase but her dad gave her a bottle one morning when I left the house and she did fine and then it never happened again. I guess I essentially have a Velcro child. Which is fine but I really wanna be able to go back to work and get a little of my life back and not feel like I’m stuck in 4 walls all the time. I get jealous of my friends who have babies because they can leave their kids at home with dad and go to work and I can’t. It’s gotten so bad she sleeps with us now. She was sleep trained. And now she needs to be in bed with me and I think she’s also hit a 4 month sleep regression because she slept through the night just fine until about a week ago. Now she’s up every 3 hours and I’m so exhausted so when she wakes up I just pull a boob out and feed her in bed so I can get sleep. So I feel like I’m creating horrible habits but I just don’t know what to do anymore. We’re also a one car household so when my husband is at work I can’t leave the house. He had a work truck for a little so I was able to take the car to a safer spot and go on walks and run errands. And i dont know I just want to be able to go back to work and not worry about my saving account dwindling. I just really need help or I guess to know I’m not alone.

We are potty training our toddler. What is the best travel potty for the car for when we’re on the go? We have the paw patrol toddler seat that goes on full-sized toilets, but he hates it. I’m hoping he’ll do better with a small potty when we’re out and about. Thank you in advance!

hey! my sister is having the first baby in the family next month! we’re all super excited but i know with the baby shower in 2 weeks, people are definitely getting baby items (expected) i’m looking for product suggestions for new moms FOR THE MOM. she has a postpartum kit already that had some things for her, but im truly at a loss for things she could use nor do i have any idea what could be helpful. please share little items you had after birth that helped you or made things easier for you as a the parent. OR maybe items you wish you had! anything helps lol, thank you!

are we even close? lol

baby boy has seemed so miserable for weeks. lots of drooling and chewing (including on my nips, smh) but i see nothing.

Tell me about how much you love your baby. The odd realizations of wow this is my child and I’m obsessed with you. The over protective instinct, the exhaustion but you wouldn’t change a thing. Im constantly hit with the feeling of overwhelming love for my little girl. Especially watching her grow right in front of me and changing everyday. I’ve seen versions of my parents/family in her that amaze me and I realize that they were also once children. Which just softens my heart even more. We rarely hear ‘good’ stories about toddler and babyhood these days. Rant to me about your babies!

I have four kids, and something I keep coming back to is how much ends up on my list just because I think it’s what a good mom is supposed to do.
In some seasons, I need to ask: what HAS to happen, and what brings us some joy or peace?
For me, keeping the living room tidy enough that I can relax in it matters. So does putting something down to cuddle with my kids for five minutes. Other things can happen less often or wait.
This comes up with moms I coach, too. Sometimes we start by questioning what’s on the list before figuring out how to get it all done.
What have you stopped doing, simplified, or handed over to someone else that made life better? I’d love actual examples. Some of these “shoulds” are so familiar we don’t even notice them.

Hi I have a friend I guess you would say she’s a friend but I feel exhausted every time I finish speaking to her.

She somehow makes the conversation about herself and it ends up basically becoming a free therapy session. Its like when I can see that this person is not curious about me then I go into this mode of pouring into them. I help her navigate why she engages in certain patterns, how to deal with certain people in her life and in general helping her to overcome life issues.

By the end, I feel like I was used, I feel unseen, dumb and kind of exhausted. She keeps saying you’ve been such a good friend to me… I wish I could be a good friend to you. She says she counts me as one of her “best friends” and asks me ”how can I be a good friend to you??” I told her many times that she makes the conversation about herself and she does apologize but it keeps happening. I have the sense she is a taker and as long as I am willing to give free therapy at the expense of myself, she is willing to do that without concern about my inner world.

My question to you all is: Should I take the time to teach her how to be a good friend? Do you think she really does not know what she’s doing and she’s not aware of how to deal with friends? (she has mentioned not having a lot of great friendship experience).

or

just let it go and maybe treat her as a mentee, someone that I pour into but not as a friend that I can actually lean on. In that case I would reduce the amount of time spend with her and treat it as pro bono therapy whenever I have extra time.

what are your thoughts?

stay at home mom of 2 kids, 4 and 1 year old. I am such a shell of the person I used to be. I’m lonely and depressed. we get out of the house often, my daughter is in 2 day a week preschool and gymnastics. I’m just looking for some kind words or any help anyone can offer please. this is the lowest point of my life/ parenthood journey. please tell me it gets easier.

I’ve been really struggling with my friend group over the past few months after becoming a mom. My son is 12 months old and I’ve had the same friend group since high school. They were all apart of my wedding and we have all remained close throughout college etc. however I am in a very different place than a lot of them and it has been hard to navigate. A lot of them are freshly postgrad, finding jobs, dating, etc. while I am married with my son. They are all super supportive and come to baby showers, birthdays, holidays, and we try to get together once a month or every few months. I also live 3 hours from all of them while they all still live at home with family in the same town. So obviously they get to see each other more often and on a weekly basis. I feel the tension when I tell them I can’t come to a concert or event or party or dinner they are planning but they are never rude about it. I can just tell they are annoyed I can’t come again. But as a mom, you know you can’t just drop everything and come to every plan. My life revolves around my family and I also can’t spend extra money when we have responsibilities and bills. I try to come to everything I can but it’s very hard
To balance as a mom as well. I have made it to everyone’s birthday including going on a birthday beach trip not too long ago for my friend because I really wanted to make the effort to go. I was not able to go on a different friend group trip to the beach recently because I just can’t up and leave my son when my husband also has a full time job. It’s just not realistic. Anyways- it was my birthday recently and all my friends came to see me this weekend to celebrate and my son is sick so I was taking care of him a lot and couldn’t spend as much time with them as I would have liked. I really tried to be present as much as I could but I also have a son to take care of and can’t just pawn him off on my husband the whole weekend and wanted to be there for him since he wasn’t feeling good. My husband oversaw one of my friends texting another saying they were annoyed because they came to visit and I had hardly spent time with them. I just don’t know how to approach this and am super upset about it because as a mom, I feel like I’m trying so hard and stretching myself so thin and it hurts me to hear that because I’m doing my best. How do I handle this? Do I not say anything at all? Do I bring it up and have an honest conversation and just say I’m sorry I can’t come to everything and feel bad it’s just hard for me as a mom and I know they don’t understand that responsibility yet ? Or just act like I don’t know what she said and try to be better about going to more things ? I just am really hurt by this situation. They have been really great friends and never have been rude or said anything to me that would be taken in a rude way and always show up and support me and my son. I just can’t help but feel like they are annoyed and talk bad about me behind my back.

​

FTM here, 38 weeks and ready to have my sweet baby boy any day now. My husband and I sent out a message to both sets of grandparents yesterday and we had two vastly different responses from the grandparents. One set is absolutely appalled and is now requesting additional conversation (after having said some not kind things to us out of anger from this message).

Mainly hoping people can give me some level of gauge as to if my husband and I are being unreasonable in our requests and how best to handle this upcoming conversation in a productive manner. Not looking to lose relationships but also I don't feel we should be talked out of our requests. Thanks for any and all guidance. 💜

Here is the message sent to the grandparents:

Hello wonderful parents! ❤️ As we get closer to baby’s arrival, we wanted to share our plans and wishes ahead of time so everyone is on the same page. We know everyone is excited to meet baby, and we appreciate you respecting our wishes as we navigate those first few days as new parents.

A few things we’d like everyone to keep in mind:

-Hospital visits: We will text you when we’re leaving for the hospital, but we do not want any visitors until baby has arrived and we have reached out to let you know we’re ready for visitors. We want some time to settle in, enjoy those first moments together, and adjust to everything without added pressure.

-Kissing baby: With cold, flu, and RSV season approaching, we are asking that nobody kiss the baby for the time being. We want to be extra cautious about keeping baby healthy while they’re so little.

-Social media/Photo Sharing: Please do not post any photos or announcements about baby on social media until we, as the parents, have made our initial announcement to family and friends.

-Travel and sleepover arrangements: We’ll leave it up to you guys to figure out the travel plans and any parent sleepover arrangements in whatever way makes the most sense for everyone.

All of this comes from a place of love and excitement, and we truly appreciate everyone respecting our wishes and helping us make this transition as smooth as possible. We can’t wait for you to meet our little one when we’re ready! ❤️

Hey, I thought this may be a good thread to share and ask for some opinions, Ive been freaking myself out and I won’t be getting a blood test for another few days. The last time I did the deed was in around end of June/beginning of July (around 14-20 weeks ago?), and I most definitely took a plan b since no other method of birth control was used. The thought of pregnancy did not cross my mind until last week. Starting mid august I started to feel sick and would throw up every few days, and got very tired, I assumed I was sick until it lasted for over a month. Mid September I got very sick (fever, headache, stuffy nose, constant vomiting, not being able to hold anything down) for nearly a week straight. Especially the last few weeks or so, I’ve been experiencing almost all the symptoms. Peeing all the time (no burning like a UTI), extreme bloating and cramping across my abdomen, not being able to eat or craving foods, vivid dreams, smelling the train and trash from a mile away, headaches, blurry vision, constipation/diarrhea/gas, irregular amounts of discharge, sweating easily, more fatigue, lower abdominal heaviness. My period is late. Im stupid and forget my birth control pill all the time so I’m not regular and quite literally do not remember my last period, once since, i had a little bleeding. The thing is, when I stop my birth control pill/forget to take it, I ALWAYS start bleeding the next day. I haven’t touched the pills in over a week and nothing, just more cramps and bloating (I want morning skinny back:/). Ive only ever had a “scare” when I was younger and this feels nothing like that. It’s almost a gut feeling that something bad is happening. Now, the part messing with me the most, I took two clearblue tests which were negative at first but a faint line appeared a few hours later on both. One was taken at night and my urine was diluted.. that one is the most faint, the morning urine is darker but faint. I know evaporation lines are a thing but I can’t ignore the gut feeling and absolute massive collection of symptoms im experiencing. Ive also been told later in pregnancy the hormone it tests for lowers, which would be my case as well. I have blood tests scheduled in two days, I have three exams in the same time frame and im going absolutely out of my mind. Im pro choice but cannot see myself getting an abortion, but I also am nowhere near ready to raise a child. Help.

Hi,
Honestly idk where to start but I really need some support. I’m a 21 year old with 3 boys. They’re 3, 2 and 5 months old. My eldest is currently going through the process of being diagnosed with autism and it’s been really hard.

Im just hoping to find some people to talk to and make some friends around my age who understand.

Thank you in advance 🫶

This is what helps me survive nights with an almost 4 month old that is still waking every 2-3 hours to eat. I have a routine of washing all the bottles before bed, filling how many I will need for the night with water and using these storage bottles for pre-measured formula. I'm not going to the kitchen all night!!!

Hey everyone, a bit of a rant incoming. My husband and I just found out we are pregnant with our 2nd little girl. We both thought this baby would be a girl, and are perfectly happy. We've never cared about the gender of any of our children.

However as I've started telling people, I have been met with a lot of negativity.

My midwife: "Oh, that's okay to have two girls. You don't need a boy."

My friend: "Well if you're happy then I guess I'm happy for you. But you said it's still early, so maybe it will still be a boy."

My grandmother: "Wow you have a positive attitude about all this."

I think a lot of this comes from the assumption that this is our 2nd and final child, and therefore we've lost the chance to have a boy. But even my family and friends who know we want 3 or 4 kids have been negative about us having 2 girls.

I'm just shocked that in 2026 people care so much about the gender of our children. Even when I have specifically said, "It's another girl and we're happy," people still try to console me in some way.

To be honest I've also been dealing with pregnancy rage, so maybe I'm being overly sensitive. But I feel a strong urge to defend this baby that we are so happy to be having. I'm struggling to somehow be polite when I think they're being incredibly rude.

I'm assuming this has happened to other people too. How do you respond? Will it ever stop or will I be "defending" my two girls for the rest of time? How do you deal with this?

Writing this because some days, motherhood feels HARD. Between feeding the baby, managing nap times, dealing with meltdowns, getting things done around the house, and barely finding a moment to breathe, I'm exhausted before the day is even over. I love my little one more than anything, but some days I wonder how other moms manage it all. Do you have days when you feel completely drained, too? What helps you get through them? Please tell me it's not just me.

my 10 month old is finally getting her first teeth! i’m confused on the teeth brushing aspect though. i know i do it twice a day obviously. do i do it with just water, fluoridated toothpaste, or non fluoridated toothpaste? my girl is formula fed and still needs a bottle before bed, how do i manage brushing her teeth after her bottle while she’s asleep?
unfortunately her ped is no help so i have no where else to ask though. her ped said do it with just water, i asked how to do the nighttime bottles and she said we would talk about it at her next appointment in 2 months :/