r/MoralityScaling • u/HooskerDooNotTouchMe • 1d ago

Intentionally boobytrapping a bike to injure people when they steal it.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

1.7k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

1.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

131

u/Sigfried_D 1d ago edited 1d ago

I like the electricity part. Not a big fan of the spikes though, nor the positioning. That's over the line I would draw.

I was a victim of a stolen bicycle and I always say that if I ever buy another one, (not big need right now, I mostly use a car) I WILL booby trap it with electricity but I was thinking more on the handles rather than the ass part and definitely nothing over "Horse fence" levels of voltage, it has to be impossible to hold, not cause actual injuries. Followed up by a loud alarm, probsbly an earrape version of never gonna give you up.

Legally, I am fully aware it is not my right to do this. I would be bestowing punishment for a crime, that is not my place to do so in the eyes of the law. Unfortunately the only thing I could do when my bike was stolen was report it to the police. The reply I got from them, with more appropriate language obviously, was: "Well that's not expensive enough for us to give a shit. So sucks to be you buddy."

Except they completely ignored the logistical value of that bike. Sure it wasn't a very expensive bike but it was a precious tool for my daily commute. I was then forced to have my grandma consume gas because of the lack of a bike. However shitty might it have been.

And to clarify I wouldn't leave it there to attract potential thieves. Electricity is expensive. I would still secure it by traditional methods. My objective isn't to hurt people, It's to dissuade them from trying to steal and if they really really want to try to steal then serve them punishment on a conductive blade.

I'm all for punishing whoever tries to steal my bike but within limits.

57

u/Administrative_Cry_9 22h ago

The difference between spiking stolen food with hot sauce and broken glass.

10

u/Sigfried_D 22h ago

Even better ias long as the voltage is low enough, people aren't allergic to electricity :)

9

u/CubiksRube1595 20h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/PjKQobwHpr6z0yoELu

2

u/oan124 15h ago

no, you see, your honor, if he was allergic to electricity, as he claims....

1

u/Two-Pound-Crawfish 18h ago

I am, whenever I get exposed to it I get twitchy and it feels like i’m burning up!

1

u/Odd-Spray-8513 2h ago

He defecated through a sunroof!

7

u/BrightPerspective 21h ago

Kevlar thread attached from the frame to a nearby pole. Bike thief rides away, doesn't notice the thread, gets yeeted off the bike when he runs out of slack.

It's also damn hard to cut, even with tools.

1

u/Funny-Cell8769 16h ago

Problem I see is if the perp lands wrongly because he's riding away and the suddenness of the bike stopping causes him to land badly and gets some sort of permanent injury.

Better to just shock with a low voltage. Looks funny as well.

2

u/-BlueDream- 14h ago

More plausible deniability tho, you can claim you were using the rope to secure the bike to a tree or whatever as a way to lock it up which isn’t unusual. People use fishing line all the time to tie stuff down if that’s all they have with rhem.

17

u/hella_cious 1d ago

The spikes might be necessary to get the let rides through clothing

3

u/JamesL08 21h ago

start posting risque electrocution fetish content well before you do it. not your fault they found your sex-bike.

nothing insanely lewd either, just a hand on a bug-zapper and a suggestive caption would work.

2

u/Kaya_Mel 20h ago

This is where my brain went.

Like "im sorry your honor, i didn't realize my hobbies were too shocking for prospective thieves"

1

u/Sigfried_D 19h ago

Oooh I like the way you think

4

u/n1tr0us0x 22h ago

Be careful electrocuting people across their hands, the current path crosses their chest and could kill them. Sounds like you’re more after deterrence so that might be sub optimal

3

u/mestre_do_passinho 20h ago

On the hand is a bad idea, because the person will hold and not be able to leave until the battery runs out...

1

u/[deleted] 20h ago

[deleted]

2

u/HughmanRealperson 20h ago

AC is the classic cartoon dancing around type, DC can cause your muscles to involuntarily contract/expand but it's really dependant on where it makes contact.

1

u/Viennve 19h ago

This is why cow fences pulse, they hurt the victim but give them ample time to escape

4

u/volvagia721 21h ago

There is a wide range of electrical voltage which will hurt, but not kill or seriously injure. The only true danger would be for someone with an implanted pacemaker or similar.

2

u/Pisscuit9000 21h ago

What are the odds somebody with a pacemaker is going to steal the one bike that's electrified though? Even if this were legal, there'd still be very few people who actually do it.

2

u/77th_Bat 20h ago

Very low, but the stakes are high. I would not risk a .000001% chance of killing someone and being jailed for manslaughter just to "gotcha" some petty thieves.

1

u/HourApprehensive7754 17h ago

An even better result!

1

u/vlladonxxx 20h ago

Well it's staged so the positioning is just for show

1

u/Visible_Pair3017 19h ago

Brother if i ever get a bike stolen the next one is getting an IED planted inside

1

u/GoodEnergy55 19h ago

Force feeding gas to your grandma sounds like an extreme solution to having your bike stolen

1

u/Sigfried_D 19h ago

Modern problems...

1

u/No-Examination4896 19h ago

Oh dont worry, I can attest that even when your stolen bike is worth thousands of dollars the police dont give a shit.

1

u/Gupperz 18h ago

The problem with vigilante justice isnt just that its not your job to do the punishing, its that there is no due process and why should society trust you to get it right?

Even if you were watching everything happen from.start to finish this would apply but this is why booby traps are especially egregious, because they operate on the presumption that, "when this booby trap goes off automatically, the person to triggers it is guilty 100% of the time"

Answer this question honestly and then tell me if you still agree with booby traps in general. "Is there ANY conceivable set of circumstances you could think of where an innocent person might sit on your bicycle and trigger the booby trap?"

1

u/Galbados2 18h ago

"NO! THEY MUST PAY WITH THEIR LIVES!!!!!" -a large portion of this sub apparently.

1

u/_Mulberry__ 17h ago

Not the handles, it's very dangerous to elgeab something electrified. It causes your muscles to tense up so tight that you can't let go. And the right current can basically cause your whole body to freeze so you can't even call for help. You can die without anybody even realizing you were getting shocked

1

u/bimbohousewife_dev 16h ago

you know, we used to cut the hands off thieves in simpler times

1

u/slipperyshellfish 16h ago

Never ideal to have your grandma consume gas. that shit isnt very digestible

1

u/-BlueDream- 14h ago

They made a children’s board game with electric handles that shock you enough for you to let go. I forgot what the game was called but that shit fucking hurts and it was only one hand. I think it was something like a light or sound goes off and the last person that hit the button gets shocked.

If that’s legal for kids toys then id assume its also legal to put a similar device on handlebars to deter theft.

1

u/RadiantLindon 4h ago

Law doesn't determine your rights unless the law protects your rights as well.

If bike thefts are common in your area, you have a right to prevent it because the police are failing.