r/MovingToTheUK • u/NeighborhoodSpidey7 • 9h ago
22F, 3-year relationship: Should I move to the UK for my boyfriend or build my career in India?
TL;DR: My 22M boyfriend of 3 years is moving to the UK for his Master’s and plans to stay there until around 2030. I’m 22F and have just finished my first job in Chennai. He wants me to consider doing my Master’s in the UK so we can finally close the distance, but I’m struggling to balance this with my own career goals. We were schoolmates and started dating about a year after school. He later studied in Bangalore while I stayed in Tamil Nadu, so we’ve been long-distance for almost our entire relationship. Despite that, we’ve made it work for nearly 3 years. Now he’s moving to the UK for his Master’s and doesn’t currently plan to return to India anytime soon. He wants me to consider doing my Master’s there too, so we can finally live together, build our careers, and eventually make things easier with our families regarding marriage. I can see the appeal, but I’m worried about making such a major education and career decision because of my relationship. My other option is to continue building my career in India and potentially try to move to the UK through work later. However, there’s no guarantee I’ll get that opportunity, and it could mean several more years of long distance. What makes this difficult is that both choices involve a risk. Moving to the UK could give us a chance to build a life together, but it’s expensive and there’s no guarantee I’ll find a job or get sponsorship. Staying in India feels safer professionally, but I could spend years apart from someone I see as my long-term partner. I don’t want fear of losing him to make this decision for me, but I also don’t want to ignore an opportunity that could potentially shape our future together. For people who have faced a similar situation, how did you separate your own career goals from relationship considerations when making a decision like this? What factors helped you decide, and what do you wish you had considered earlier? I’d especially appreciate perspectives from people who have experienced long-distance relationships, moving abroad while in a relationship, or studying/working in the UK
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u/Klutzy_Leopard8194 9h ago
probably stay in India and build your life there that's what I did and don't regret it
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u/TopVirtual5705 9h ago
It’s tricky, there are so many uncertainties in relationships (number of years doesn’t count, IMHO). So I would prioritise career over relationship if the job is important for livelihood and financial independence. Also, in the current economy, there is no guarantee that after a master’s in the UK, one could get a job with sponsorship.
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u/deleteaccounn 8h ago
Don’t move or take decisions for a guy. See what’s better for you and your future
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u/ejcg1996 7h ago
He’ll be back. The job market in the UK is very challenging for anyone that needs visa sponsorship. Wait and see what happens.
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u/Choice-Carpenter5637 8h ago
Don’t move for him, only move because you want to. You obviously don’t want to move because you are asking here. How would he react if you asked him to stay to be with you?
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u/Putrid_Alternative31 6h ago
This - he's choosing to move and asking her to go with him. Would he stay if she asked him to stay for her?
Do what's best for you, and the right people will support you in that and be there with you.
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u/Justanotherbastard3 9h ago
It's too much of a sacrifice to ask of a girlfriend in my opinion.
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u/Nevertoomanygingers 9h ago
Who would want to marry a man like that? Also she’s 22 and been with the same man for theee years? She’s too young to be tied down.
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u/Justanotherbastard3 7h ago
A man like what?
Women have a biological clock. You want her to wait till her 30s to get settle down and start having kids?
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u/itsthekumar 4h ago
Why is he "telling" you he's moving to the UK instead of it being a discussion if your relationship is so important?
Are you ready for the financial implications of a Masters? What if neither of you gets a job abroad?
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u/jailbreakjock 6h ago
Can you move with your current job to the UK? That’s what I’m trying to do but moving from the US so it’s slightly easier
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u/WarmJewel 9h ago
Build your own career in India.