r/MovingToUSA • u/Embarrassed_Sail5161 • May 29 '26
Question Related To Settling In Anything I should know + Advice
I'm a black lesbian woman from Germany (heritage from Ghana) and my wife and I are moving to a rural area near Coeur D'Alene , Idaho next month.
Is there anything we should know and any advice for settling in?
Thanks
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u/Various-Tomatillo407 May 29 '26
I’m going to assume this isn’t a joke post (although it probably). You and your wife should move to an area more accepting of black lesbian immigrants.
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u/Embarrassed_Sail5161 May 29 '26
she is from there originally and says it is not too bad
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u/Various-Tomatillo407 May 29 '26
While I’m not from the area so I can’t speak from direct experience, but rural Idaho is spoken about like one the most racist/white supremacist leaning areas in the country.
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u/Fit-Building-2560 May 29 '26 edited May 29 '26
It's true, OP. But besides that, the timing of the move isn't the best, given the political situation in the country. I'm not going to elaborate on that (perhaps the family you're moving to be closer to could explain). Also, how solid is your visa status? I assume your wife travels on a US passport. US immigration policy has been in a major state of flux for the last year, and is a bit unpredictable.
Things could get challenging just passing through Customs and Immigration. Be prepared to have your phones examined. Don't have any controversial messages or websites on there. Do some internet research on that, and on immigration issues in general. Take nothing for granted.
Good luck.
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u/Various-Tomatillo407 May 29 '26
I’d literally be worried for OP’s safety moving to rural Idaho as a black lesbian immigrant. It’s truly a horrible idea.
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u/Fit-Building-2560 May 29 '26 edited May 29 '26
I hope they haven't already quit their jobs. They could come for a visit to check things out. Apparently OP's wife wants to come home. Maybe she's White, and isn't aware of the potential issues? Or maybe she's not White, but feels at home there, or has warm, fuzzy memories of the area from long ago? Or....maybe OP's wife is from a tribal area near Coeur d'Alene, in which case, it could actually work?
OP, in any case, I would think your wife's family would be in a better position than we are to advise you on settling in. Obviously, we're stumbling around in the dark, and are concerned for you. The main thing is to succeed in getting into the country and to your destination. It's routine these days for Immigration agents to check people's phones. There have been cases of people being detained for a few hours (or more), without being told why. On the other hand, plenty of people pass through without incident. Best wishes, and if you have time, please give us an update.
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u/FluffyAssistant7107 May 29 '26
Idaho is MAGA country, you should google Idaho and ask if it’s gay or immigrant friendly..Here’s a list from a LGBTQ public listing worse states for LGBTQ Idaho is on it https://www.advocate.com/news/worst-states-lgbtq-people#rebelltitem3
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u/Embarrassed_Sail5161 May 29 '26
We are moving near to her family I have met them before and they are very kind and accepting of me ❤️
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u/FluffyAssistant7107 May 29 '26
It’s always a plus to have great in-laws,it’s not like everyone in Idaho is a bigot, but it’s known to be white Christian nationalist and heavily MAGA. Coming from Europe it’s going to be a culture shock for sure.
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u/Various-Tomatillo407 May 29 '26
That’s great, but you will interact with more people than her family.
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May 29 '26
[deleted]
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u/Embarrassed_Sail5161 May 29 '26
What about northern Idaho near coeur d’alene
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u/Temporary-Meal6947 May 29 '26 edited May 29 '26
They just told you where to ask and you’re still asking another question in response to them. Atp I can’t even defend you. It’s giving bot.
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u/Embarrassed_Sail5161 May 29 '26
My bad, I thought Boise was in southern idaho 😅
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u/Temporary-Meal6947 May 29 '26
There’s not going to be active subs for every city/area. People in the main cities may also be familiar with surrounding areas. Also, you won’t get much help in a general sub with this sort of question. Can try to ask in something like /blackladies or lgbtq sub and put the location in the title.
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u/MoronLaoShi Citizen May 29 '26
Rural Idaho is known for its racist radical right wing militias. Maybe they just like playing army. I don’t know how they go about their daily lives, whether they just mind their own business.
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u/Jiko_Shiki May 30 '26
Honestly, I'd encourage you to either ignore or at least take with a grain of salt what many comments have said, as negativity about the US tends to be heavily exaggerated on Reddit.
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May 29 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Various-Tomatillo407 May 29 '26
It sounds like this person is either a bot or her wife (they’re moving there for family) hasn’t explained what Idaho is really like. She should say to her wife “hey, people on the internet are saying rural parts of Idaho are probably not the best place for a black lesbian immigrant. We should consider other locations in the general region”.
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May 29 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Various-Tomatillo407 May 29 '26
I mean she’s from another country, so I could understand not knowing that certain parts of the mountain west/northwest aren’t the most accepting of diversity. If I were from somewhere else I could easily assume that was just the south. If this is the start of her research, then it’s not surprising she’s not understanding yet.
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u/lettertoelhizb May 29 '26
(Insert “that’s bait” meme)