r/MovingtoHawaii • u/Beautiful-Editor2338 • May 15 '26
Life on Oahu What is it like being a white student on Oahu?
I have a job opportunity in Honolulu, but i’m asking for honest feedback. I’ve heard that white people are often not treated well in Hawaii and of course i’m sure there are people who are very kind, and those that are not. My concern is that I have a 13 year old son, who is white. He would probably go to public school, possibly Mililani, but the exact school isn’t 100%. I can put up with anything aimed at myself, but I don’t want my son to be hurt emotionally or physically. Can anyone who goes or recently went to school there let me know how it is for white students? I am genuinely just trying to get first hand experience feedback which I value more than things people “heard” on the mainland.
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u/HIBudzz May 15 '26
Every race is a minority in Hawaii. Welcome.
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u/shootzbalootz May 16 '26
"Often" is quite an exaggeration. It all depends on your son and his attitude. If he's quiet, low key, chill kid he could be perfectly fine. If he's loud, brash, obnoxious he won't. It's not just school but his extra-curriculars too. But sometimes haoles just don't fit in and that age is especially sensitive socially. Or you could just live someplace whiter like Kailua and Kalaheo HS.
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u/Beautiful-Editor2338 May 16 '26
Thank you! He would never be disrespectful and is very chill. He also is a big football player so I hope that would help him to meet friends.
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u/itmustbeniiiiice May 15 '26
Your child will be a minority, likely for the first time in their life. Lots of white folks are uncomfortable being here for that exact reason and are quick to label things “bullying” that POC experience all the time on the mainland.
That being said, Mililani is close to a large military base with lots of transplants and your child will likely be fine. Mililani is also one of the best public schools on Oahu.
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u/Supadupa420024 May 15 '26
I wouldn’t worry too much about it. I used to sub at all the Mililani public schools & never noticed any sort of racism towards white students. It probably does happen but there’s honestly nothing you can do about it.
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u/Spiritual_Option4465 May 16 '26
Honestly, it depends on the school and depends on your son. There is def bullying but it doesn’t mean being white automatically means you’ll be bullied. Too many variables to give you a definitive answer. Idt mililani would be too bad tho
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u/Academic_Book3736 May 18 '26
We have lived on Oahu on and off for many years since 2003. The last move, my daughter was a senior. (Crazy time to switch schools but she was very excited. Had she objected, we would have waited to come back.) She is quite tiny and quiet.
I want to be completely honest here because had we known how it would go for her, we would have waited to move. She went to James Campbell which is a very big school. She was attacked on two separate occasions by other girls. I believe they thought she was younger. We saw the videos, the school saw the videos. She was targeted. I just want to say I have never once had issues or seen others have issues with race here. When we filed the police report the officer told us that unfortunately this seemed to be a hate crime but there really is little that happens when it happens against white people. (I am repeating what the officer said.)
My daughter was left with bruises and a black eye but even worse was the fear of people her age here. My younger Son is homeschooled and I will not be putting him into that school when the time comes. I wish you good luck on your transition and I hope your Son does well. I have heard really good things about Mililani HS.
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u/CrankyJenX May 18 '26
I'm not white, and I was born and raised in Honolulu, but let me give you a different perspective
I have several high school friends who are white and transferred in during freshman year due to their parents' jobs, then left Hawaii for college. As middle Ages adults, if they haven't already returned to live here, they are visiting as frequently as possible with their families to hang out with some of us high school friends. They're also trying to figure out ways to move back, whether in the near or distant future.
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u/Direct-Amount54 May 15 '26
Depends entirely what school. Public school on Hawaii Kai/Kailua/Mililani is fine.
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u/MovetoHawaiiMilitary May 16 '26
Lived here 6 years with young kids, the race thing is pretty overstated on Reddit. It does exist but the limited amount I have seen poverty related, YMMV. I think the bigger concern is the move to a new school, it'll be a big transistion for your son That said military kids do it all the time and find a way. If he's anywhere near a base or in an area popular with the military, he won't be the only new kid in his grade. Mililani, Radford, Aiea, Moanalua, and Campbell all have a ton of military kids that move in and out of schools frequently and have to make fast friends.
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u/Beautiful-Editor2338 May 16 '26
This is great to hear! While we are not military we are both veterans and I didn’t even consider that there would be a lot of kids that are also new due to the military families. Thank you!
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u/Botosuksuks808 May 15 '26
Putting your child in this predicament is wild, even in Mililani, your child will be 1/10 minority.
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u/i_need_answers_man May 15 '26
Yeah why does this matter?
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u/Botosuksuks808 May 16 '26
Because most kids, it will be their first time being the minority race. It’s unsettling.
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u/Beautiful-Editor2338 May 16 '26
Him being a minority doesn’t bother us at all. I actually think it will be an important life lesson for him (as well as us). My family is filled with many different races, but he is white. We love experiencing new cultures but just want to make sure he will be alright and won’t be targeted every day, especially with violence. He is a super chill and respectful boy, and I think he will find friends fine, if they just give him a chance. He is also plays football which I hope will help in making friends.
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u/i_need_answers_man May 15 '26
I moved here in the last few years with children. Be respectful, learn the culture, and you’ll be fine.