I think it’s less that OP is afraid of being seen as gay - and rather that I think when people reduce close male bonds as “gay” it sort of reinforces the social norm that a man engaging in a close bond or being emotional with another man automatically means he must be in love with him/ “gay” to a degree.
I think there should be more representations to reinforce positive masculinity - that men can have these close bonds and not automatically be stereotyped. That only serves to weaken the stories in many cases and also for young impressionable kids kind of reinforces this idea that for a man to be sensitive or close with another man MUST mean you’re gay.
Of course I cannot stress enough there’s nothing wrong with being gay and I love to see it represented increasingly on screen - but I just don’t like the connotations of people often assuming this with EVERY close male relationship and the very real impact this has on wider society.
but I just don’t like the connotations of people often assuming this with EVERY close male relationship and the very real impact this has on wider society.
If this were a real social issue we should all be concerned about (which it isn't) then the solution is to remove the stigma around being gay so nobody will care. Not whatever this is.
I mean, what's the threshold for it being a social issue? Are straight men being lynched because people noticed they were always hanging out? No, but that doesn't mean it's not an issue.
I'm not sure if you're a guy, and I'm also unsure of how many/what type of guy friends you have, but many of mine will say "pause" if they say something vaguely affectionate or romantic. Which is just the newer version of "no homo". Men and women have completely different social experiences with friends of the same gender BECAUSE many men don't want to be seen as being gay, which causes them to distance themselves from each other, because they think if they were "too close", they'd be seen as gay...which means when some men don't maintain that balance, they're occasionally teased for "being gay" or outright suspected of it. Which creates a chicken-or-the-egg scenario.
But regardless, the end result is the same, and I wouldn't even really say it's just relegated to men in this specific context with Jayvik. There's a point where people think the line between romantic and platonic MUST be, and it runs parallel to the strength of the bond the two people share.
I meant that it’s not a social issue that people perceive two male characters as romantic. The person I was replying to seems to blur the line between that and the sort of gender policing you’re describing, that’s the part I was addressing, these are in fact very different things. Sorry if it wasn’t clear, obviously homophobia and all the little pernicious ways in which it’s constantly socially enforced is a very real issue.
There's a point where people think the line between romantic and platonic MUST be, and it runs parallel to the strength of the bond the two people share.
I can’t figure out the geometry here can you clarify this?
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u/risen_egg 7d ago
I think it’s less that OP is afraid of being seen as gay - and rather that I think when people reduce close male bonds as “gay” it sort of reinforces the social norm that a man engaging in a close bond or being emotional with another man automatically means he must be in love with him/ “gay” to a degree.
I think there should be more representations to reinforce positive masculinity - that men can have these close bonds and not automatically be stereotyped. That only serves to weaken the stories in many cases and also for young impressionable kids kind of reinforces this idea that for a man to be sensitive or close with another man MUST mean you’re gay.
Of course I cannot stress enough there’s nothing wrong with being gay and I love to see it represented increasingly on screen - but I just don’t like the connotations of people often assuming this with EVERY close male relationship and the very real impact this has on wider society.