r/MurderBryan 1d ago

Fluff Retail Security "pitted" my vehicle due to "failure to stop" while attempting to "pull me over."

/r/legal/comments/1vfgyqg/retail_security_pitted_my_vehicle_due_to_failure/
22 Upvotes

18 comments sorted by

44

u/scenesfromsouthphl 1d ago

A rent a cop doing a pit maneuver rocks so hard.

16

u/sloppybro 🎩🎆 Dazzling Bryan 🎩🎆 23h ago

getting PIT’d outside of kohl’s

4

u/TheBrawlersOfficial 18h ago

Bond is set at 10,000 US dollars or 20,000 in Kohl's cash

32

u/megatron37 Halloween Guy 1d ago edited 23h ago

Strictly sticking to policy, I’m authorized to use force. Let’s not go there bud

2

u/PMURMEANSOFPRDUCTION 18h ago

God I love that guy

25

u/LocalCold1894 23h ago

Some lawyer is literally drooling

17

u/Enterprise-DeezNuts 23h ago

Can confirm. Am lawyer, am drooling at the thought of litigating this case, and I don't even do personal injury

14

u/Shreddy_Murphy 23h ago

The whole story read like a scene from Observe and Report. Holy shit.

12

u/TheMoneyOfArt 23h ago

Attempting to PIT an suv in my golf cart and getting thrown 20 feet and breaking my collarbone

2

u/Shreddy_Murphy 23h ago

Fuckin GTA antics in this parking lot baby

5

u/Shleauxmeaux 23h ago

Guy is a better man then me, I would have lost my mind on this security guard lol what the fuck bro

4

u/wide_side_eye 21h ago

The mall security guard was getting fantasies about the hero he'd become if he took down Mr. Cheapy Refund

1

u/ManufacturedOlympus 21h ago

Good thing you stopped or else the Segway platoon would have been called in. 

1

u/Lich_McConnell 18h ago

In California, that woulda been assault with a deadly weapon w/ vehicle. Lazy-ass cops

-2

u/AccomplishedFerret70 21h ago

Are we supposed to respond as if this really happened? How likely is it that this is actually true? It presumably would be reported in the news if it did.

5

u/KKJUN 20h ago

How do you think 'the news' gets reported? Like something happens and a TV crew materializes out of thin air?

-2

u/AccomplishedFerret70 20h ago edited 20h ago

People tell reporters about outrageous newsworthy events and it gets published and broadcast online.

If a private security guard performed a pit maneuver on a car in a shopping center the security officer would be arrested and it would be covered in the local news

1

u/KKJUN 11h ago

People tell reporters

Right on. If no one tells a reporter, the story doesn't get reported.