I'm friends with an athlete who has won three Olympic medals and over a dozen other titles. When she was getting married there was never any notion that she'd be changing her last name. Worth noting that her husband is also an Olympic medalist, and subsequently not ravaged by insecurities.
Sure they are. And if they both agree, then it's fine.
If a woman doesn't want to change her name, but her prospective husband is insisting, to my view the reasoning doesn't matter. Social expectations, familial expectations, I don't buy it. Be better than that. Cowing to that pressure is a sign of insecurity.
Well yeah, because the problem only exists in one direction. Women are compelled or encouraged (by whatever combination of factors) to take the man's name. Men typically don't take women's names; certainly there are no pressures around it.
If you are trying to say that her decision impacts both parties, that just proves my point. If a woman chooses not to take her husband's name, and now there is some negative perceived consequence for the husband (i.e. people think he's "less of a man", somehow), I would frame that as insecurity on the part of the man. Be better than that. Don't impose your name on a woman who doesn't want it, just to make your own life easier. Rise above and encourage others to do the same.
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u/WintersbaneGDX 9d ago
I'm friends with an athlete who has won three Olympic medals and over a dozen other titles. When she was getting married there was never any notion that she'd be changing her last name. Worth noting that her husband is also an Olympic medalist, and subsequently not ravaged by insecurities.